8:01 PM - Sunday Sermon
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life

For the fucking love of goddamnit, please remember this, you stinking nutsuckers:

Treat others as you would have them treat you.

It's the Golden fucking Rule, have you fucking forgotten that? 

Maybe not. Maybe it's perception based, same as everything else.  Maybe, because I would like to be treated in a certain manner, I naturally assume that we all want to be treated in that manner.  Ridiculous misconception on my part, as we are all different and composed of our own unique blend of fucked up puzzle pieces.  Some puzzles are made up of tightly fitting pieces, fresh off the jigsaw.  Some are made of mismatched old cardboard cut with dull scissors, homemade as shit, to try and fill in holes from original pieces that got lost over time.  The design has been attempted to be recreated with pen or crayon to match the rest of the picture on the box, but it won't fool anyone, stop trying, stop it right now.

I wish there was a way to bring this analogy around to some sunny cliched commentary about how the light of goodness shines through the cracks between the seams where the homemade pieces don't quite match up to the factory cut pieces, and we're all beautiful in our flawed state, but this isn't about that.

This is about not being a douchebag.

Stop being douchebaggish.  Unless you enjoy other people's douchebaggy behavior, which no one does.  Douchebaggish tendencies are usually born through response, catalyst being someone else's douchebaggishness.  So, please be proactive instead of reactive to the douchebaggery.  Treat the party guilty of douchebagging as you would a child who doesn't know better.  Firmly but caringly refuse the douchebaggishness.  Assert yourself as a non-douchebag, and show the weak soul being tempted by the allure of douchebaggization that there is a better way.  A higher road. 

If we work together, we can make a change.

--------------------------------------------

Ok, with that out of the way, I've defined a couple things that I believe I need from a dude in order to not make me roll my eyes:

1. Potential dude will have to have a BIG personality.  Not a persona.  True quirks and natural twists that he doesn't consciously push, just a naturally big personality.  Not a big 'embarrassing-in-public' personality.  Just big enough to not mind mine.  And interesting enough not to get crushed by it.

2. Potential dude wants to make me smile.  Does not want to impress me (smoothtalk makes my skin crawl, and I don't care about your car), wants to make me smile.

3. Potential dude is good to sleep with.  Not good to fuck, that'll work itself out, and even if it doesn't, it's ok because I'm good enough for both of us.  Good to sleep with.

-------------------------------------------

Coffee is being made, blogtime is over.

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11:55 PM - Checking Back In...
Current mood: fermented
Category: Life

Toe: Grossness is healing nicely.  No more pain, just an ugly scab.  This scab has no name and is blousy and repellingly made of dead tissue.  I am covering it in hydrocortisone ointment, hoping to relieve it of it's post.  Dry up and fall off, you blousy bitch.

Finger: Same as toe.  Scabbed skin is transparent and sturdy, like a shell, making the weird healing process underneath viewable.  Like a Sea Monkey tank.  Or perhaps a biodome.  Also covering the biodome with hydro-oint as well as a cushioned sheath to prevent it from rubbing on stuff, which makes my finger look like a vibrator from the 1970s. 

Right shoulder: annoying pain, background noise.  The continual drip of one drop right in the middle...

Right shin meat:  fuck.  fucked.  fucking.  Today, I pulled a muscle in the motherfucking modern dance class that I'm taking because it said 'beginner' and who would think that beginner would mean anything besides that very level, especially when used at a community college (which will, undoubtedly, get it's own blog sometime soon).  Now I am trapped by the staircase for at least the duration of today, keeping myself grounded with pills, pills and more pills.  Stupid jerkhead brain won't accept that I'm not made out of rubber bands.

Good News: Plenty.  I have found joy in my GeMagic machine.  It bedazzles things.  It truly makes things fancy.  I am finding joy in fanciness, as well.  I enjoy wearing stretchy fabrics and not much of them.  I am wearing a bag of frozen edamame right now (ice-pack style, you dirty, dirty fuck...).  I feel super-good at math.  I wish you were here.  I think that Laffy Taffy is either heaven or hell, depending on the flavor.  Even though I missed my strength training today, crutches are very much a strength-building endeavor, as my body is tense with every attempt, because I'm fully expecting each step to be the one where the plunger-like foot slips.  I am also a fan of Skittles, as well as multiple flavors of "Head" candies made by Ferrara Pan (LemonHead, AppleHead, CherryHead, GrapeHead).  *My animal familiar/kindred spirit would be a drag queen.*

Really.  I wish you were here. 

(bring candy)

maybe we could make out!

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7:07 AM - Know What?
Current mood: blessed
Category: Romance and Relationships

Hey, one time I got paid for sex.

That was pretty cool.

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3:32 PM - You cannot leave the subject line blank.

Rolled as far into a ball as possible.  Proceed to continue kicking.

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3:29 PM - Check out this event: Cabaret DeLuxe - Benefit, Birthday and Burlesque!

Hosted By: Lucky DeLuxe
When: Saturday Aug 23, 2008
at 9:00 PM
Where Korruption
1717 W. 9th Street
Kansas City, Missouri|26 64101
United States
Description:
Lucky DeLuxe

Click Here To View Event

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12:58 AM - And Before I Forget...
Current mood: ashamed
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Fuck Mama Mia.

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12:15 AM - Oh, For The Love Of...
Current mood: disappointed
Category: Life

Sometimes the universe intervenes when needed.  If we (I) make fucked up decisions and choices, the universe (or whatever you want to call that force of balance) will throw small pebbles in our (my) path, hoping that we notice and do what it takes to improve the situation.  If we ignore these little pebbles, we're thrown larger and more blatant stones and rocks, eventually encountering boulders and impassable mountain ranges. 

I've been ignoring the pebbles all my life.  I've been stubbing my toes on the stones and blaming my own clumsiness.  I've climbed the boulders and claimed to enjoy it, overglorifying the view from above to soothe the sting of the unfair tradeoff. 

Birthday?  On the way.  Change?  In the air.

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8:54 PM - printout of brain dialogue:
Current mood: amorous
Category: Life

mikene

ssmi

kenessmik

enessm

ikenes

sm

ikenessmike

nes

smikenessmik

enes

smikenessmi

kenessmik

enes

smikeness

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8:44 PM - Too much hot and no not-hot makes Jack a dull boy...
Current mood: hot
Category: Life

It's so hot.  It's so fucking hot.  My mind is replaying random selections from that one specific Twilight Zone episode where it was really hot.  It's just so fucking hot.  Thick hot.  Thick, blanket of heat so tangible it almost has a fucking taste.  Too hot.

Too hot, food hurts.  Too hot, shun youporn, pride won't let me use sweat as a lubricant.  Too hot, bottles of water come from the fridge and warm to room temperature before I finish them.  Too hot, sweaty headache hot.  Naked hot.  Not hot naked hot, just naked hot hot.

Say it three times fast and try not to pass out from the puffy hot air that clogs up your airways.  Inhaling through my nose actually cools the air before it is forgotten. 

Most likely, this is ice-statue humpin' weather.

In lieu of an ice-statue, I am on my way to violating a bag of frozen edamame.

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4:11 AM - Good Morning, Gov’ner!
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Life

Ok.  It's six in the morning.  I've been awake since 4-ish.  For no reason.  Just opened my eyes from a nightmare and couldn't close them again. 

I haven't had time to write lately, but that should change tomorrow, hopefully.  The weather predicted it to be partly sunny with a chance of blog. Oh man, that was super funny.  Partly cloudy, ok sure, not so funny.  "Chance of blog?"  are you kidding me?  That is fucking mad brilliance.  Diamond shine is the only way to describe that fucking quip.  "Chance of blog"???  Is that what my brain does at 6am?  I'm never seeing this side of 10am again. 

(10am - Gilmore Girls, 11am - Las Vegas)

If we were together for 24 hours solid and unobstructed and we had every resource in the world at our disposal, and distance wasn't an issue, how would you fill it?  You have my undivided attention.

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