3:30 AM - Saturday: Parties, Rain, Cleaning, and Glorious Amoutees

to check it out go to emthewriter.blogspot.com

It's got some new story stuff ;)

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8:47 PM - New Blog!!!

Entirely. I have a new site. Thought I'd do something slightly more professional than myspace.

emthewriter.blogspot.com

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7:41 PM - My Summer
Current mood: Retrospective
Category: Retrospective Life

I have been going over blogs, and the last one I wrote about myself, and even that was very limited, was my what I learned from college blog. Here's an update as to what has happened this summer, in brief. I'll go over the significance of these events afterwards.

I got back together with an old girlfriend, only to have it fall apart. Then we reconnected as something more then friends, but less than a label. Then she left to go back to school, and I guess we're back to being friends. I haven't really heard from her since she went back to school. That's my fault as well I haven't made any attempts to contact her really.

I guess I'll just get through all of the romantic entanglements in one big messy paragraph. I made out with one of my best friends. Ok, two of my closest friends, one of them being the friend in the previous paragraph. Then with two other very close friends. My roommate has decided that I am a hoe. It's hard to argue with her on the issue.

I did my two month gig at the pool. I taught swim lessons from June to July, and it was pretty cool. relatively easy 2600 dollars. I really enjoyed my coworkers this summer, especially in comparison to previous summers. I also enjoyed most of my kids. There are always the difficult students, but overall it was a good summer. I am now teaching private swim lessons to a few kids and an adult. It's a good job to keep me preoccupied until school starts up.

Talking about school, I have moved into my apartment in Davis. I enjoy the freedom of being able to come and go and behave as I please. I registered for my classes. I'm taking courses on drama as literature, the short story masters of the twentieth century, history of the Mediterranean: beginnings through the Hellenistic period, Geology: earthquakes in California. I'm satisfied that I will have a very interesting first quarter at U.C. Davis.

I've learned that I really enjoy messing around with Frisbees. I hope to join one of Davis's IM ultimate Frisbee teams. That reminds me, I need to learn the rules to UF. Be right back. I learned a little bit. This will be fun school year.

Now, how do I feel about what I have done this summer. I very definitely have mixed feelings about this summer. I've enjoyed the company of many new friends. Enjoyed the company of old friends. Missed many old friends who I haven't really had the opportunity to see since they came back to town. I'm not proud of my recent hoe'ism. I'm not necessarily ashamed of it either. People make decisions and act upon them. I have learned, hopefully. I don't really plan on continuing to make these decisions, so arguably I've learned from them. Whether or not I'm actually successful at following through on this intent remains to be seen. I'm definitely annoyed with my lapse from my original New Years resolution. I definitely lapsed into experiencing pleasure for the sake of pleasure, which is all to shallow and short termed I've found. Maybe bliss or happiness will be a little bit different. I've been severely disappointed by my pursuit of pleasure. It's rather ironic because my pursuit of pleasure occurred largely because of "The Picture of Dorian Gray." I think I should have finished he book before I acted on the concept. Well, I learned for myself.

If I haven't talked to you this summer, please, leave me a message with your phone number and I will make sure I see you before the summer ends. I have the free time, only working three hours a week. I hope everyone is having good summers as well.

Currently listening : Dark Light By H.I.M. Release date: 03 October, 2005

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1:14 AM - Suicide Bands

Suicide Bands

-e.m. crowl

While playing with the thick leather straps covering her wrists, Rachel placed the soles of her feet on the back seat windows of Daniel's car. It was a tight fit, but they were horny and because of this willing to squeeze into very awkward positions within his green hatchback. His heavy breathing filled her ears.

"Could you, could you shift a little to the...?"

Rachel adjusted her position before Daniel finished his question.

"Mmm," he grunted.

Rachel tilted her head back and look at the stars outside her window. She was glad that he was having a tough time getting himself situated as it kept his face out of hers. It's not like he was ugly, necessarily, he was good enough looking, she just seldom liked to look anyone in the eyes. She found the way that pupils dilate disturbing.

"You really should try and move out. Get your own place," Rachel commented.

"What?"

"I'm getting tired of having sex in the backseat of your car because your parents are home."

"Look, you know that I'm attending college full time..."

"At a community college."

"It's still college."

"It's community college."

"Says the high schooler."

"My brother worked full time and got his AA in two years. Stop being so fucking lazy."

"Your lazy! You never get on top."

"Oh my God, I'm dating a fucking five year old. Stop being so gawddamned immature."

"Says the girl who can't even admit to her mistakes," he said looking at the thick leather straps covering her wrists.

Rachel squirmed beneath Daniel, suddenly self-conscious and extremely angry. "Get out!" she screamed at him.

"Of the car?" he asked stupidly.

"No, me you dumbass. Get out, get out, get out!"

"Calm down."

"So help me God, Daniel--"

"I'm just saying, I mean did your parents ever find out?"

"No, they think I stumbled on a puddle of water getting into the bath tub and slit my wrists as I fell. Are fucking retarded? GET OUT!" Rachel rolled and shoved Daniel so he fell out and onto the small gap between the front seats and the back seat.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"You're such an idiot, Daniel."

"Oh, come on. What do you have to hide them for?"

"Slit your wrists and walk around with the scars showing for awhile, then tell me it's no big deal," Rachel said as she pulled her panties back on.

"Oh, come on, don't do that!"

Rachel gave him an icy stare that told him he was done for the night.

"I'm not in the mood," She responded coldly as she finished redressing.

"Alright. Can you go up front and give me a moment."

"Just get dressed."

With that Rachel climbed out of the car and sat back in the front seat. After some loud rustling Daniel climbed into the driver's seat and started the car up.

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12:16 AM - Desert Storm or Shock and Awe?

The news tonight
reminds of my childhood
the same images flashing
explosions burst
white against the green
of eerie night vision
beams of light lance
at stealth fighters
as unseen as the wind
but several times as deadly
despite knowing the carnage
my heart is fond
remembering the voices
of parents, assuring me
everything is okay
I thought I was watching
STAR WARS
now I watch with
"Shock and Awe"

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1:15 PM - If you are at all religious or easily offended this poem, "Sacred," is not for you.

Sacred

-e.m. crowl

Jesus penetrated me

With dull wooden blade

It did not hurt

There was no pain

Only orgasm

It got me off

Holy ejaculate

Fell from my body

Where the seed landed

Ostentatious life grew

An affront to God

God punished Christ

For his wholly

Unholy union

And I was sent

To raise ostentation

In mediocrity

The Holy Ghost wept

The Trinity got a divorce

The Holy Ghost told God

She'd had enough of

His tyranny. So her lawyer,

took heaven and custody of Jesus

Three as individuals

In his small little flat,

All that he had left,

With Jesus' wooden blade,

God slit his wrists.

At his funeral, I gave the eulogy:

"I killed God."

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11:19 AM - What I've learned from 3 years at a 2 year college.

1. I screw up.

2. However, I am not a screw up.

3. Sit near the front and the older people in the class. If you get hit with group work, you're going to want to be able to turn to them and say, "wanna work togeher" because usually these students give a rat's ass about their grades, which means they will do their fair share of the work.

4. Be yourself and really don't care what people think. At the very least people will respect that to some extent. Generally if yourself isn't an ass they'll come to like you.

5. Don't be afraid to talk to your professors. Generally they spend their office hours wishing someone would come in and talk to them so they would have an excuse to procrastinate on grading papers.

6. There are no dumb questions.

7. There are very dumb people asking questions unfortunately, though.

8. Sex is great, but it isn't the best thing ever.

9. Condoms can increase stamina.

10. I'm a lightweight and one beer can get me pretty buzzed.

11. Think for yourself.

12. Decide for yourself what is right and wrong. Chances are that your own moral compass is far more accurate than anything someone would like to force upon you.

13. Never be afraid to try something. It might not be your thing, but at least you know.

14. 50% of students in creative writing classes should not be allowed near a pen and paper: it's a dangerous combination.

15. Do what makes you happy, not rich. Money is fleeting, happiness isn't.

16. There are no wrong interpretations of literature, but not all interpretations are equally right.

17. Don't wait until the last minute to do a term paper, just don't.

18. If you do wait until the last minute to do a term paper, use block quotes.

19. Long superflous sentences that sound important are also a nice way to pad an essay.

20. Busy work sucks, but it often ends up being very important to your grade.

21. Top ramen actually has many recipes. Not all are good. I recommend against deep frying.

22. Believe in yourself.

23. Diploma holders don't come with diplomas, just little slips of paper saying congratulations, but that your grades still need to be evaluated before you get one in the mail.

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