1:36 PM - Hoaxing hoaxers and the hoaxed hoaxers who are hoaxed into hoaxing.
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Unfooled MySpace
Once again, twice again, three times again... LOOK THESE THINGS UP on http://www.snopes.com before posting them!
Example of how a hoax can cause serious harm: The bulletin about how you can supposedly enter your PIN number backwards at an ATM if someone tries to rob you. It doesn't work, and can either give you a false sense of security while waiting for the police who won't come, or piss the robber off to the point where they do some damage.
Posting these hoaxes is embarrassing. News reporters get fired over this. Don't be a hoaxer. Save your friends and yourself from the madness and chaos that is today's internet. Crow for dinner isn't tasty...at least that's what I heard in a Myspace bulletin...
Ha! you may say. And I'll respond with a Ha! of my own.
I'm not really a writer, not in the WGA/credited/IMDB/real world sense. I've written a few things that have come in no higher than 11th in small contests. I list my RPG character as "screenwriter" in chat room profiles. I make a good salary at a good job with a good sense of stability and reality.
I still wish I could be carrying a sign and yelling "Good night! We won't write!" or "Pay us for the DVDs, or we'll stay out here till we freeze!" Also, Tina Fey looks hot carrying a picket sign.
And besides, being a member of WGA beats being a member of the Film Actors Guild...
11:23 AM - The latest and the lamest
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Unfooled MySpace
The latest (and lamest) Myspace hoax...
*BY MY SPACE* Body: Listen i thought this was a joke but its not i didnt repost it and my account got all screwed up i had to fix everything!
Since you opened this, ur site will be deleted within 15 minutes or less. Sucks cause it's not a joke.-friends layout pictures codes(everything).The only way to keep your My Space is to repost this within two minutes with bye MySpace as the title.
Tom
Sorry guys, I know you hate these things but it is just to see who uses their My Space and who doesn't
As you probably know by now, the real Tom types in all lower case letters and uses too much "kewl speak" in his messages. The originator of these hoaxes, however, uses "Sucks cause" to open his sentences.
11:58 AM - Something phishy this way comes
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Tom just pharted MySpace
I got another hoax warning - this one about the "internet killer" who supposedly killed 56 women he met on the internet. I replied with the link to Snopes.com, and the reply got caught by Myspace’s spam filter. This generated a "Your account has just been phished!!!" warning from our misguided pal Tom, and forced me to change my password from something stupid to something stupider. Yes, I verified that this all came directly from Myspace, and not a password stealing pimply-faced mama’s-basement-dwelling hacker.
So what’s the point? Internet hoax causes false spam alert causes bogus phishy smell causes unnecessary password change equals pissed off user. This pharcical phallacy is what we refer to as a "moronathon."
8:32 PM - Refilled cartridges - empty promises.
Current mood: angry
Category: My pinky is inky Web, HTML, Tech
From 5/28/06:
Recycling is a great idea, in principle. Yes, it's fun to skip an empty HP 23 color cartridge across a clear lake, or chuck it at the neighbor's kitty while he's trying to spray your fence post, or just aim for the trash can down the street for a three-pointer. Some of us donate them to fund raisers or take them to OfficeMax for a free pack of paper. And then there are the sorry souls who try to have them refilled.
Yes, I look straight into the mirror when I say that. I've tried refilling one myself, buying "remanufactured" cartridges (NuSomething, this finger points at you) and having the guy in the booth at the mall refill one. Mine didn't work at all, 3 NuWhatevers were streaky out of the bag, and the mall refiller's lasted for 10 days and 3 pages. There were also the recycled ones at work which went streaky/unrecoverable after a week. So far: zero results, zero confidence. Are HP and Lexmark really telling the truth when they say these suckers can't be reused, or are refillers/recyclers (me included!) just incompetent?
More on this later. My last stand is trying to refill a simple HP 15 cartridge. Poke hole, insert ink, plug hole, print test page. We'll see if it works. If not, I promise not to throw the last bottle of ink at the local OfficeSux store, although I won't rule out filling all my bad cartridges with the ink and letting them leak into the postage paid recycling bag as if it was full of dead octopus. After that, I'll put Rapid Refill to the test next month when they open their Vancouver, WA store. If neither of the last-ditch options are successful, you know where you can read about it...
From 4/21/07:
After refilling two cartridges, one leaked from the printhead all over my all-in-one, and another refused to leak even a drop of ink from its printhead even after soaking in alcohol. I should have been the one soaking up the alcohol. And yes, the rats in the sewer are going to be searching for dead octopus tonight.
So, now you have a picture of my hand, expressing my opinion of cartridge refilling. I haven't made it to the place in Vancouver, but they still deserve a try. If they fail, they deserve the inky finger of failure.
From 7/18/07:
It happened again. I took a color cartridge to Walgreens, of course asking them if I could get my money back when it didn't work. As paradoxical as it may seem, I wasn't disappointed. The first night it printed an alignment page and a page of color bars. Next night, my 3 in 1 said "Check color cartridge." I pulled it, checked it, closed it. Print again, error again. Pulled again, checked, closed. "Incorrect color cartridge." By then it was leaking. Rather than waving a pink middle finger in front of the camera, I put the plastic cover on and decided to return it for a refund. At least that worked.
Saturday, July 22, 2006 4:39 PM - Paranoidal Experiences Current mood: Snarky Category: Writing and Poetry
It was 8:00, and some idiot was on my door. On Saturdays, I usually sleep in until 10 am and then watch some crappy kiddie cartoons or an old episode of MAD TV - but not today, thanks to Mr. Jerkface ringing the bell like a sadomasochistic Jehovah's Witness looking for his daily dose of verbal abuse.
I crawled out of bed like an alligator crawling from a New York sewer and grabbed my stack of metaphoric cliches as I headed to the door. Who was it this time? Amway salesman? Lame survey person? Cable guy trying to collect on the overdue bill before climbing the pole and turning it off?
No, it was those damn door-to-door space aliens again. You know, the assholes who park their freakin' mother ship in your driveway and their broken warp drive leaks gravitons all over your new concrete. Yeah, that'll come right out when you wash it with a mixture of dechyons and corbomite. Sure.
So I open the door, and before Lizardface Lameass has a chance to pitch his out-of-this-galaxy new ass implants or antigravity cleaning solution, I blurt out "We don't want any!" His sidekick, or maybe it was his wife - who can tell what gender these things are, and I ain't lifting it's tail to find out - starts crying those big alien tears. You know, the ones that kill the carpenter ants in the wood steps along with the neighborhood cats and an occasional neighbor. "Hey, I wasn't trying to upset you" I said, with my fingers crossed behind my back. "What do you want?"
"We are travelers from a galaxy far, far away." I held back a guffaw, a chortle, a snicker, and probably a bit of last night's dinner. "Our starship has run out of fuel. Could you help two stranded travelers?"
"You guys have a lotta nerve." I stepped back. "Trying to bum dilithium crystals off me at 8 in the morning! Well..." I reached behind my back, "...here's a shovel. Go dig your own!"
"But we have five children waiting in the starship. They need food and water..."
"Look, I don't care what stinkin' galaxy you're from. Get your scaly asses back on that ship and get it the Ford Prefect outta my driveway!"
They dragged tail back to the ship, and took off with a roar that only could have come from a recently filled dilithium chamber. Damn scam artists, they come from all corners of the galaxy wanting me to pay up front to have my driveway repaved or give them my bank account number to transfer ten million credits out of some alien planet.
6:59 PM - Blame Tom - part foo.
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Tom-foolery MySpace
seems like there's more rumors than usual that i'm upgrading the site or going to start charging politicians for hogging myspace or starting to fix the chat. not true foo'! don't believe what you read in bulletins and rumors and the new york times.. if there was something important to tell you, i would post an annoying bulletin or take the site down unexpectedly like i always do. myspace maintenance is bogus!
i just posted this a week ago, but i continue to send spam emails about it. we are not closing myspace, at least not tomorrow. we are not charging crooked politicians for myspace. i did not die in a car crash, since all i'm licensed to drive is a grand theft auto video game. we are not deleting inactive profiles, we just delete people who are ugly. don't know why these rumors keep flaring up.. but they're all untrue. >:( except the one about old comedywriter.
The chatroom crashes every 5 minutes? Tom needs to fix the damn server. The blog won't post and erased itself? Tom did it again. An unexpected error has occurred? There's a profile posted for you in hell, Tom. Gas prices near $4 a gallon? Tom had a hand in it, I'm sure. Global warming and carbon dioxide buildup? Someone tell Tom to put down that burrito. Class separation causing rebellion among the underprivileged proletariat in modern world society? Yep...Tom.
In fact, Tom may become as popular a scapegoat as George W. Bush. Think of that...Tom for President. Tom's comments about the Iraq war: "Sorry! An unexpected error has occurred. This error has been forwarded to the Pentagon." Tom's comment about gas prices: "Our gas prices will be back up again in 5 minutes." Problems with a media member ranting about global warming? "This user's profile has been deleted."
11:49 AM - Who is on my "Friends" list, and why.
Current mood: blank
Category: Existing Life
Who winds up on my "friends" list? It's an interesting collection of people and things. Mostly, there are unique individuals who meet the criteria of being someone I could be associated with. There are writers and people in the film/recording industry. There are people who have gone through difficult times and survived. People who know the true meaning of being spiritual. Women who are beautiful because their faces show serenity. All that, and a co-worker, a novelty profile or two, and a couple pages I've created.
Who winds up deleted? People who spam with useless bulletins. Women who rant about boyfriends and hookups. Survey freaks. People who think that being spiritual is spraying religion in the air until you can't breathe.
Who winds up blocked? A certain few who've deleted me for no good reason. Life usually doesn't give you a second chance, and neither do I.
betrayed
aggravated
cynical
pissed off
annoyed
angry
cranky
silly
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