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Friday, August 15, 2008
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Burning the midnight oil
I
am
stuck
inside
my head
again
I've noticed some changes happening around me. Everywhere. Within everyone.
Whether its children, work, spouse, parents, life's bullshit thrown your way. Everyone seems to be dealing with something.
I can feel the stress oozing off everyone.
no kidding.
At times I even have enough ego to believe I am the cause. Or the effect.
Though having absolutely nothing to do with it.
In my paranoid head, I do.
Am I a sounding board?
Or just a metaphorical punching bag?
Is it my karma for being too outspoken, too opinionated, too too?
I am a total mess most of the time.
The days I actually come out and live among the living.
Where I brush my hair and teeth, maybe put on some eyeliner (my sneaky little way of feeling safe, like wearing sunglasses for some)
and I match my clothes to my shoes to my handbag.
You might think Im soooooo put together.
My girlfriend actually thought I was from a high class family. She shocked me right out of my buzz/high with that one.
It was cute.
But far from the truth.
I fret over that shit.
Because if you really knew me.
Saw the ugly side of Ophelia.
You'd turn and run.
The only people who haven't are out of their fucking minds.
And I keep telling myself one day I will wake up and I will feel sane.
I will be this person in my head that Ive been living up to.
If only all the mindless bullshit we were fed as kids, as young adults, as twenty-somethings were true.
Adulthood being such a happy medium.
Everyone knows their place in the world.
All professionals LOVE their jobs and are eager and willing to help YOU.
The labels and reviews and common sense and figureheads are just a mediocre way of brushing life under the rug.
Pretending it is what its not.
Everything is a big lie.
And the day we admit this as a whole, is going to be one fucking great end of days.
Only then We can peel back this worthless skin and become something REAL.
Tangible.
Everything we need and ever wanted but were too tired and unfocused to really commit ourselves.
And I sit here at this insane hour.
My eyes ready to fall out but my head races.
Im afraid to go to sleep because I wont wake until noon and I am so sick of that life.
A great friend of mines great friend once said to me "Oh hunni, you are missing so much by sleeping in"
She is right.
Im sick of missing out on my life.
Im sick of living up to old and worn out self expectations.
I will regret publishing this when I come back here to see what crazy came out this time.
I trust you though.
Because that's all I have right now. Here.
10:32 AM
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008
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Live. Learn. Love.
1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us
with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that
is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each
day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her
mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead
invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems
are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra
class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life
to others'. You have no idea what their
journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
7:00 PM
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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Friday, August 08, 2008
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Wednesday, August 06, 2008
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Feist
They are blurry cause I had a little monkey on my back.
The minute she came out Bella was so happy, she said
 Oh my GOD she is so pretty and she looks just like me! (bella has bangs now) so adorable lesigh
      
8:59 PM
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Monday, August 04, 2008
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haiku
the smoke billowing
an oxygen replacement
and her head dazzled
4:31 PM
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Friday, August 01, 2008
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shit got weird parts 2 and 3
random filler, more pictures, lots more commentary, enjoy...
Saturday
 I pouted about my foot couldnt swim
couldnt walk
about all I
could drink and talk
 and to really hit the nail on the head she poured it right up his nose he was so mad fuming  So he decided to snuggle up with her instead of kicking Natalias ass   He's got lais on his bone Thank god I missed his air cock guitar 5 minute solo  sorry.  Cheeky Chica!!!!  Now you're talking!!  cutest couple ever and they have two very adorable little boys     Best doobie ever!!
 morning. not loving anything at the moment  Natalia drank my whole cup of coffee then asked me for more so I went back, made some for myself and decided to bring her a cup too
 I also missed breakfast because I was CLEANING!!! our boat and it was on the other I felt like shit the whole day meh
 self portrait  Blondie bothered me she reminded me of my cousin coincidentally she is also a Gemini like my cousin meh
Oh story time!  They cheered  They shoot  Natalia took all of the glasses and threw them off the boat!  It started to rain!!! So they danced  and I stayed dry  and so did Toby  It was a beautiful 20 minute rainstorm
Oh another story!
 You can plainly see she is saying something sassy
 getting up topless she seems to have been holding something in her mouth loving lover in the background loses his mind not knowing what his wildcard will do next!
 poor Hunky Remy he seems to be another helpless victim in Natalias crazy world of hazardous relations aboard Boat Randy and Boat Janice
 spitting out some gastly concoction of intoxication surreptitiously shes from another galaxy you know
 table top dancing is my fav  Naked man wearing sock not so much my fav
finally the sun went down...
 Nick helped me across the dark beach enticing me with Mary it worked!  There was fire and song  
So I was pretty much done by the end of this night
my foot was in more pain then I let on (it still is)
Our Gemini roomie was getting on my nerves quick
she kept turning the boat lights off
and we were all sitting in it USING it
She molested Remy
and he has a girlfriend
and he was too nice to be like
Bitch get off my Jock!
I was going to kill Natalia too
she is annoying when drunk
and very hyper
I was so ready to be at home with my man in bed watching a movie
So I forced myself to sleep among the living it up the last day people
Manic Monday morning...
 In a rush to pack my things
AND
clean the entire boat
because I stupidly volunteered
the boat was a fucking disaster
even though I had cleaned it the night before
so i woke up pissed
took it out on Natalia apparently
because she asked me why I was on a bad mood
well I said it didnt help that first thing you say to me this morning was
After I do this, you and I should start to clean the boat
umm yea I knew I had to but
coffee is
ALWAYS
a first
and also
gather my things is also first on the priority list
everyone was silent
and Natalia didnt bother me again
I did my dishes
and tried to patiently wait for the green light to leave
You have to sign out!!!!
    after an hour this is me bitching about the wait I needed to go home they made us leave the boat for 20 minutes to gas up the engine and do inventory I supposed it was a collateral thing because they make you leave your things I said quite loudly please dont touch anything that isnt yours thanks bye Waiting in the parking lot again I decided to be a brat and annoy people because it took alot for me to put up with everyone the entire weekend So I moaned about needing my things with me and how bullshit it was leaving my belongings haha it was fun in a sadistic sense |
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shit got weird
consensus says
 I have big breasts lol
 they never once came out though!! bwahahaha wow this trip was not what I had expected that's why I didn't expect the worst but I felt a majority of it Natalia only got stabbed in the eye with an iron boat stake yea...
It all begins with...
 The lovely and talented Jill we bunk together every year well until her man comes back from New Zealand i wuv her    apparently its all about the hot tub I couldnt make it.. seeing how my toe was split open. 
This was just as we were leaving.
I wanted to go home so bad
I threw a small fit
and was mean to my best friend
but that doesnt matter
Ima bitch
Now in no particular order.
I present to you
The 2008
Getting sloppy on the Shuswappy
(shit got weird)
Men
Mostly
Men everywhere!
 Jump!! 
 Yes he is nude I saw more ass and cock on this trip then I have seen in my short life  Story goes I cut my toe open on the first day I think it was on sharp rocks could have been glass I was to intoxicated to notice I was squirting blood Drunkenly I tried to stop the bleeding Nothing worked. Until I cried and some nice girl fixed it for me. I hobbled the entire weekend and swam not once once again!!   umm hello!  Whoa now, I am such a voyeur! two bars
 Yes more ass! not the kind i enjoy either  this guy (green shorts) had his dick hanging out the entire weekend I told you shit got weird...  mMm topless women!
  These guys were having a rave across the way while we all waited in the parking lot
it was shitty music the end  Strangest couple ever they had to prove to me how much they loved eachother and she was all over the girls in the hot tub He was all over cock boy I say rock on, be sexually confused It will all make sense one day children  Oh yea, they made me hike up a steep ass mountain with my gimped foot AND a glass full of cran and vodka I made it to the top the drink was left somewhere at the bottom  Have you tried the Lager? (boat motto)  Hike, meh  The girl with the sunglasses she turned out to be the rude server at charlies she most likey didnt remember me though, I think some people might have told her I remembered her teehee she's actually pretty nice :o)  Hunky Remy Big arms and manly chest manly everything! and soo sweet  T | |
