when i wished you didn't love me
Category: Writing and Poetry

We all know
When the crash is about to happen
We feel it in our
Guts
Our hands
And some of us in our
Feet

Yet most of the time
We tie up those parts with duct tape
And spare barbed wire
To hopefully get one more day
Next to that thing we
Know we are going to lose

Because when she is at it again
Falling from grace
Smashing all the headlights in on the block
Breaking every dish in the place
And
Throwing promise rings into the fox river
You know your time is limited to
One last fuck you
One last
Get out
What are you doing here..

I don’t know how long I can
Hold broken in place
How long I can mend
Sorry and it will be O.K

Sometimes I hate that I love you
Wonder if you ever think
Is it fare that I put him threw this

Mostly I know it would be better if I just walked away
You would forget about me
Nothing special lost
You would just replace me with
Bad movies and a new ex….

4:33 PM - 3 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

i will sit
Category: Writing and Poetry

I was still sitting on your fire escape
And it was raining

My coffee cup  sprung a leak
And the flowers I bought at
The 7/11
Are willeted and dieing
Have lost the luster they once held
Under florescent lights
And murky water

You come home about an hour later
Ask me what kind off fool sits out in the rain
When I knew you would be home at 10

I mumble softly that my watch is broken
That I asked the time from the take out place across the street
But the nice lady that makes my favorite dumplings
Speaks no English
And that I mostly don’t get what time is.

You smile and nod
Ask me if I need a dry sweater
I just look at you like a fool
And ask you if your day was O.K
If you are really alright with me
Dripping water
All over your kitchen floor..

4:06 PM - 13 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

Fools fool
Category: Writing and Poetry

I most likely won’t be able to
Promise you that
I won’t act a fool
As we eat lunch at Mick Noodles
Or when I am
A little past
One more beer
On thanksgiving
Or in the corner of noon

It would be
Just fine with me if I could
Die softly in your arms
Or
Make myself into your pillow
And fire your old one
After all
It’s not doing a good job

I will ask for forgiveness
Again and again
Ask you to look away
When I dance in the streets naked
When I tell you to get on that white dress
After 2 months of being friends
But then again
I wont be able to
Stop doing those things

Because I am a fools fool
And I think you see that

And god isn’t it charming….

7:34 PM - 12 Comments - 17 Kudos - Add Comment

when strangers meet
Category: Writing and Poetry

As a form of longing I can see the light on in your house
As I perch here looking down threw your window
You are drawing again and I care not to look away
You don’t get up off the floor for hours just spill paint
In precise movements every drop hits its mark
Every 5 min you look up at me stare at me like
A stone monument  on some church in Dresden
It begins to rain yet I still sit here in stone
Hoping you notice that I am forever
That you have me always watching
Your beauty..

5:25 AM - 12 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Tonight we say goodbye
Category: Writing and Poetry

She always wanted to cross the old train bridge
Late at night bare foot and some times naked

I remember telling myself this was a bad idea
As I picked up the pile of rope sitting on my coffee table
Just in case she went for a swim

We would run across my lawn
Threw the neighbours yard and down a steep hill to the foot of the fox river
Climb the rickety fence
Say a prayer
And walk to the center of the bridge

She always asked me if I could love her there
Forever
If
She jumped
would
I come back and throw dandelions in the river
Late at night
Bring whiskey and my guitar
Sing songs to the moon
And the stars
Act as if
She was still with me

I told her I would

2 weeks later she left me
And the bridge
mysteriously burned down

1:56 PM - 28 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment

softly broken
Category: Writing and Poetry

It is morning and the sun is sitting with you
At the bus stop
Lightly
Kissing your frown
As you read
Anne Sexton
And drink a cup of cold coffee

You use to call me in the winter
Tell me about how
You hate that it never rains
That you need a new hair cut
A new choice of men
And a longer coat to
Cover your bruised knees

We never had these moment
Because we never bought bus tickets
To Denver

We just sat
Looking at gray screens
Hoping for rain..

6:43 AM - 23 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment

An apology for the poem I wrote with the word queer in it
Category: Writing and Poetry

I know that I offended some people with this one, maybe hurt a relationship that took years to build but I would like to explain the line that most likely made them mad. The bad jokes about queers. My best friend was gay, my best friend sense I was 5 was a queer he was openly gay and the only openly gay in our school and he paid hell for it, got his ass kicked daily lunch money stolen bad jokes throw at him. So one day I asked him why he let those bad jokes get to him and he said “I am the bad joke about queers” so I am sorry if I hurt people.. The person I hurt the most I have so much respect for and never thought it would hurt them the way it did.. So “K” I am sorry..


Rolling cable
Slips the beer
Out back
Between the turning
Stop lights
And bad jokes
About queers

I lost the space to smile
And the keys to
Finding
Out how
I know your
Out
Flirting
With smiles
And open legs

I have a feeling that this day doesn't like me
As I sink into a bottle of
Your fathers favorite beer
And drink one more sip
To throwing it all away

3:47 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

writers/poets/painters/Musician
Category: Art and Photography

I'm a cofounder of a new myspace blog site called alchemical {jnj cafe}

http://www. myspace. com/jnjcafe

our goal is to promote collaboration between the arts - writers feeding off of artists, art inspired by music etc..

our
goal is to issue writing challenges to our members on different themes,
encouraging collaboration in some cases, and comparison in others.

we will be featuring monthly artists, and biweekly musicians, as well as the occasional featured writer.

this is something I'm pretty excited about (as you can tell) and our site is only in its infancy..

come help us make this a fun experiment that will help us all grow in our chosen mediums!

if you're an artist/band/musician who would like to be featured, please contact myself, julian or nathan...


everyone is welcome!

we're open all hours - the seats are comfy and the bevvies piping hot (or ice cold depending on your libation of choice!)

3:39 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

like a child
Category: Writing and Poetry

I found away
To
Pull you way down
Like a locomotive
To the bottom of this lake

From the top of my lounges
And the look on your face
I choke you down
Like acid
And bad memories
Of
Walking down town of
Me
Jumping fences to
Play on school yards
As you just
Kept  walking
Embarrassed of my childish ways

2:49 PM - 13 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Sun in an empty room
Category: Writing and Poetry

I often sit by candle light
Staring into your bed room
As you reach out for him
As he brushes you away
And you wipe away the tears
With your swollen hand

I often sit pretending you are next to me
Silently touching shoulders on the subway
Knowing we both have things to say
But get off at stops we never belonged to

I look into the sky late at night
Knowing you are to
That
Those moments that we share
We will only share alone
In these empty walls

You are my sun in an empty room…

8:16 PM - 13 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Talking to (a Collaboration)
Category: Writing and Poetry

The sound of your voice
Sitting in your back yard
Sipping away the cool night
With conversation
And cheap beer

Oh Vancouver
And new England sound

I have to force myself
To not think of you.

my voice echoes lonely into the stars
knowing that even though the individual sounds
are separate here
their whisper is being felt in the starlight
by someone listening
just for me.



(the 4th stanza was written by Jenniwren check out her poetry she is 1 on my friends list)

3:45 PM - 17 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

set to a new sound
Category: Writing and Poetry

You call me out of the blue
To give me
The relative surplus value of
Your heart

I sit on the corner waiting for
Someone to yell fuck
And throw me a dime

It has been almost a year
Since that all died
That feeling I got
When I knew
You where about to die

And it's all worthless
Sitting on this soap box of mine
Trying to impress you with my broken smile

From know on I am setting this to private
And am going to go home all alone..

I can never stop at what I want to say..

8:34 PM - 9 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

discharge
Category: Writing and Poetry

They told me to give up on dieing
That I was just a scared little boy
In love with the idea of
Never being in love

They walked me down a hall way
Sat me on a table
Stuck me with  needles

One of them keep checking my heart
Looking at the other one
With this strange look of shock

They pumped me full of blood
Again the strange one
Or the one that was looking at the other one strange
Came back in and checked my heart

She mumbled
"broken"
In the saddest voice I could imagine
And walked out of the room

I never got the discharge orders…

5:59 AM - 20 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Drink This

I will be in the hospital again]....
Before to long
Throwing up blood again

Not wanting to wake you
And keep you up all night with shock
I crawl out of bed
Fall to the floor to weak
To breath

The doctor tells me that I will be O.
K
3 pints a little lorazepam
And I should be on my way

I am so sick of the fake smiles and hand shakes
I wish they'd just tell me that I am dieing…

Currently reading : How to Live and Not Die By Norvel Hayes

3:16 AM - 10 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Leigh

I fucking swear to much
It really only started a week or so ago
I get up from my chair
Throw the typewriter on the floor and scream

.."Fu*k fU*k

It is not very pretty
And I think the girl next store
Has taken to
Concern

You where always there
Throwing paint madly
As I looked on from my
Cage in the corner of the room

I wish you'd get on with it
Write blindly
With out care of what those
Bloody wordless fucks think

I miss you

I wish you would have just said good day.. Tops
Or fuck off.

10:13 PM - 10 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment