what the FÖÖK is up with myspace???
Current mood: pensive

DEAR TOM, (i mean, Rupert Murdock')

what the fook is up with myspace these days?
it seems like the format keeps changing ALL THE TIME...
it's really a pain in the arsh to have to scroll down now just to
be able to click on the new messages and oh... look up!
your post box is up there now... oh, and now it's an easter egg hunt
to go search for where the bulletins are...

i dont give a shite if
it makes things easier... i am like an old goat and i dont like
sudden changes.





and no i dont want to figure out what the hell is
up with this 'new friend categories' .... this fooking myspace thing
is already too full of categories that can't pidgeon-hole the shit
i really like to listen to anyhooo which i definitely will not get led to
from one of your stupid pop-up ads for russian brides, online diplomas,
and the latest 20 times a day on the radio of active waste 'cutting edge'-titled bands.

this reminds me of when MTV started to get into those dumbass
game shows.

(yes i DID watch MTV when i was a kid because i didnt have nintendo yet and i mastered all the stupid atari games)





this isnt facebook. it's just myspace.





i am not going to do
my people shopping here, i prefer to keep that side of my procrastinating
mind-set to facebook which now makes me procrastinate on
logging into myspace which already got me to procrastinate on checking my emails (and then writing back to people...)... i have no self-discipline so i really can't handle having
even more goofy features to twiddle around with on myspace and
it's true... myspace is never going to feel as personal or impersonal
as facebook.





face it, myspace is becoming a pergatory with a
rapidly reproducing species of dumbasses who think they will get ahead with advertisements because they have some stupid cracked program that automatically friend-requests, posts
stupid advertisements on your bulletin board, and sends invitations
(which NOBODY EVER LOOKS AT ANYWAYS!!) to you and
everyone that everyone you know knows and everyone six degrees apart from everyone you know and don't know or give a shite about anyhoo but know
doesn't give a shite either about you.

i come here to just check who asks to be friends... check messages...
check out music... and check the fook out.

sorry myspace... the harder you work to make all these
'improvements' and try to copy facebook, the more annoyed i get
and the more applications i end up adding on facebook instead
cuz you SUCK.


andi am only using you to have a free website for people
to download my shite for free and get the foooook out!!!!!!!

Currently listening : Mclusky Do Dallas By Mclusky Release date: 2002-09-24

12:24 PM - 8 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

new songs you gotta check out!!!!
Current mood: geeky

in my top friends... go to darling freakhead...
he just put up these new songs... (i dont care if... & i don't give a föök... --föök... can i say that here?)

anyhoooots... highly recommended... i been listening and enjoying these latest tracks and wanting to share it with everyone but who can hop on a plane and come over to my livingroom?

hope you enjoy the adventure!

and... heck... take a dump on the way!!!

7:50 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

meet my First Booking Agent!!!!
Current mood: excited
Category: Food and Restaurants

so... i thought i would never ever do this but now things are so hectic... and... i know andreas from new york, even though actually, he is austrian!
anyhoooo...

one of the reasons i never had a booking agent was because , well first,
no booking agent gave a rat's ass about what i was doing because they didn't see it as commercial enough... i don't believe in searching for places to play and just let people come to me (even though i was really broke and worked shit jobs, i would rather only play where people wanted my weirdness, low or high budget... i still sometimes play in livingrooms and sleep on floors on the road)... i didn't want to have someone booking me just to make a bunch of moolah, send out unsolicited materials to places that only wanna make money... etc... i never made a proper bio because i felt strongly that it shouldn't be necessary at all. but i actually do have a proper bio, because there are some gigs where the booking agent of some festival must give this stupid story paper to their boss for the okay to get me there.

i'm not big time and theoretically i should be able to handle my own stuff.... but i am just too disorganized and a lazy procrastinator to keep track of all this stuff... and sometimes i forget to give myself some downtime. so i hope not to scare away peeps by having my buddy Andreas handle my booking madness. i am open to big budget, little budget, no budget... don't be scared!!! andreas doesn't bite!!! and if you are at first too shy to write him, you can always drop me a line here! OK?

look... does he look like someone who is gonna bite you??


anyhooo... his email address is:
company-of-heaven (at symbol) liwest.at

du kannst auch auf deutsch schreiben, weil er österreichische ist!

yak!

2:33 AM - 9 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

my own newspaper!!! who wants to subscribe?!?!
Current mood: animated

so... after reading a shitty newspaper here (in vienna) today and seeing how bent to the wrong 'right' a lot of reports seem to be...

i think i want to make my own two-sided newspaper (page one, page two)...
no... i am going to do this! something especially for ex-pats who made the move to vienna.

it will be written in english and very poorly written german.. (because i know my writing SUCKS auf deutsch... but it is still understandable for german-speakers as much as it is for english-speakers learning german)

there will be a crossword puzzle in every issue... which has words in english and german... (FUN!)

i'll list gigs that i'll be going out to. coffee shop reviews. würstlstand reviews.

there will be an article summing up everything going on with the current events and a four day forecast of my poopings and also the cats' poopings...

on the articles written in german, i will ask the readers to correct all of my grammatical errors with a red pen and send it to the 'letters to the editor''
department.

i will then select the correction that i believe is the most correct, and print it in the next issue!

just send me your mailing address and the first issue will be free!

2:54 AM - 12 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

see how i built STOCKHOLM on webTV!!!
Current mood: nerdy

CLICKIEEEEEEEEEE HERE

and then click on my pic .... no, not my pikk... my PIC!!!

it's only up until mid-february..

and for the hyper-unibomber-i am forty and live with my mom and still never
take a shower theremin and gear freakos... i am using two line 6 loop/delay pedals and electroharmonix microsynth and yes i am considered to be a lefty and no i didnt build my own theremin (hint hint his name is on my theremin) and yes i am a total nerd!

6:17 PM - 9 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

it’s not often i ...
Current mood: animated

and when i do... i come up with the BEST fooking jokes and puns.... (or so i believe in this moment...)

so until i wake up tomorrow and realized what the hell i just posted here and get really embarrassed and erase it... here goes:


why did the man put earplugs in his wife instead of a tampon?


-- because he didn't want to hear about it


(hehehe... i am still laughing as i read that!!!)


so... at some point in the night i sat in and then later on i partook on a little more action...
and
we wanted to play... but then this woman with heavy viennese dialect yells
'' AUS!!! ' and blah blah blah i have no idea at this point her accent is strong and she is wobbbbbbbbbbling back and forth, so drunken...

and these people at the table across from us are eating peanuts...
golda yells, from what i understood... '' PENUSS!!! I want some peenuss!!''

the waiter says... '' they cost one euro''

and i repeat what i thought i heard mama say... '' PENUSS!! PEEENUSS! one euro`?''
and the waiter says... '' penis is cheaper than one euro''

(it's winter in vienna...)

so as we are leaving the place, there is this guy who keeps dropping the hint of invitation to golda and me...'' my place is just 12 minutes away on foot''
even though she and i said we were sharing a cab home...

after he left... i thought about it all and told golda...

''wir sind nicht noch billiger als 12 minuten!''

(we are not cheaper than 12 minutes!!))

and then after a second...

'' wir sind noch nicht billiger als 12 minuten!''

(we are not YET cheaper than 12 minutes))


YO 'MEI!!!!!

7:22 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

STOCKHOLM and my favorite topic of all time...
Current mood: relieved

so here's the ultimate happy new year's gift track for your pooping pleasure
or total discomfort of not poooping when you feel like you should, which
is the worst feeling in the world....
when it's not your fault you gotta hold it in... and you run around some strange city
trying to find a toilet before you explode.

and at the end of it all... when you finally get to the toilet... wait in line...
and oh! an open stall!!!! run in and nearly break your zipper, timing is everything...
and well... doesn't it always feel like just as you sit down, you think to yourself,
if i waited even ONE second longer....

so... maybe that is a good way to describe this track?

7:55 AM - 9 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

daydream university of nonstop research
Current mood: imaginative

i dunno, if i were like some head of a university... i would require every student
to do this assignment in their first year and if they wish to extend their time working on it, no problem... and i'd even allow students to work with other students on this assignment.... and also the students would be allowed to get input from people who are not working on the assignment if they aren't sure yet of committing to working with the same person or people... so at any point they can decide on one or even more than one study partner.... (oh my maybe i have created something?) sorry, that doesnt make sense to say now but if you read what was in the parenthesis again after reading what the assignment is maybe i won't sound like a total nut-job.

you have to create a universe or world or place... and describe how everything functions...

just two rules:

1. nothing you create is allowed to follow the laws of physics or nature

2. there has to be some logic behind it


oh who wants to make my day?? year?? life?? hehe*+*

3:03 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

PERFECT PITCH ILLNESS
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

being in the city of sigmund freud and also where
so many of the greatest classical and later later ( i dunno what that period of
schoenberg is or what the hell it's called) composers...
anyhooots... vienna is a magnet for many musicians and people
interested in psychology or psychiatry or whatever whichever yak!!!!!!!

so i think i have come up with an idea for a special field of psychology
that deals with a so far not yet defined or recognized as an illness..
for people who suffer from
PERFECT PITCH.

i had an experience last night that made my hormones take over in me...
and i couldnt help but have a bitch-a-thon in my head about this...
a violinist said she was not out of tune with the pianist because she has perfect pitch and the piano was a quarter tone flat so it wasnt her fault
she was too sharp in relation to the piano.

this is why i thought of a special therapy program to help people who suffer
from this disease.

and it should be screened as early as possible so that all the negative conditioning
that makes this illness so ' debilitating ' for the sufferrer as they get older... can be
nipped in the bud. i believe it has mostly to do with counseling the
teachers and/or pushy parents involved in the person's experience in learning music as a youngster.

but what is unique about this illness is that it is very contagious. people who think they dont have it (because they believe someone else does....)... these people must also be helped by this therapy because they are obviously affected by it.

this program would consist of:

re-training the person to deal with and understand what are relative pitches
re-learning how to tune to the other instruments around you,
even if they may not be at 440 or 445 or whatever the hell it is.
learning that it is really all in your head.

maybe i can open up an office and become like some sort of therapist
for people who suffer from this special disease...

the treatment plan would include

listening to vinyls of familiar pieces at various speeds

then singing along with these songs, or playing along and tuning to them

listening to fairuz (and other musics from other parts of the world...)

re-learning the intervals according to relative pitch.... and every day
would be a new relative pitch to work with... and eventually... every hour
the person would deal with a new relative pitch...
every minute... every second... until finally the therapy is over when
the person realizes that they actually have relative pitch!!!!!!! and can be in harmony with anything!!!

(and will understand why it doesnt matter and makes no sense and there is no excuse to even throw around the term 'perfect pitch')

i cant help but have hope that it will never happen again to hear someone say
the most dissonant thing to ever hit my ears and heart ---
 'you have to have perfect pitch to play the theremin' 


it really is SOOOOOOOOOO damned sad whoever came up with that myth and why many people believe this. 

Currently listening : Force of Light By Dan Kaufman Release date: 25 September, 2007

2:23 AM - 22 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment

i got a feeeeeelin’....
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

so that song just popped into my subconscious so i had to revisit
the myspace of zootwoman.

i have mixed feeeeelings about this song ''it's automatic''
and all that it evokes in me. i love it and hate it.

the song... scroll down.. it's the fifth song on their player...

anyhooo...

once in a while.. this song pops into my head... reminds me of being in a club in paris with some buddies... all chic... everyone beautiful and kissable and so uninterested anyhooo ... dancing half-assed... not really dancing.
smoking jointeaus. look here and there...

like... listen to this song!

the only way for cowbell to be SO god damned
cool is if

1) it just doesnt stop and is on every beat... (except for the breakdown part)

2) if the people in the band are so foookin chic-stylieeeeee hot
looking that you want to plant your steel-toe boots into their front teeth or
violently rape them.

'it's automatic'

7:52 AM - 3 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment