viagra (part one)

It's always the same routine. I get to work and sort through the incoming faxes, making copies and distributing accordingly. The normal good mornings with the usual return of hate from the likely characters. Can't win em all. Then to the emails. It usually begins with the usual junk of the viagra sort. Most come in small doses of amusement with their witty frazing. Some just say "you're welcome" with a link to the goods (and by goods i mean a promise of hours of pleasure for all). some come in the form of patches, which maybe amuses me much more than it should. "hold on, i just gotta throw on my patch and i'll be good to go". is it more a/effective if put directly on the source of action? who thinks of the phrases. case in point, i just opened another which included, after the giant viagra link, this quote: "The skin was black so I hoped it was done. The rich seasoned fragrance
I havent stolen anything! Definitely a quaver now." Huh...? I may have no use for viagra, but the excessive promotion via email has brought much humor to my life.

i don't really know how this blog ended up just being about viagra, but i don't feel like writing any more so the rest will have to come later. this can be part one.

9:15 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

much ado about nothing...or maybe everything.
Current mood: who knows

when i got home today i decided to sit down and write yet another song that i'm likely never let a soul read. its been a long tradition, why break it now. traditions can be the key to ones sanity, however more likely i'd say the opposite is true.

in conversation earlier, one of rather sarcastic undertones with a certain level of tension to feed the angst, i concluded the following: sarcasm is a refuge of those bored with the mondane nature of life. wit is left for those with an advantage. pure intelligence can be far too boring and being a winner is subjective.

i'm sarcastic pretty much all the time. while it may entertain me and a few others who share the same sarcastic nature, it doesn't say too much for the art of sarcasm...yes, art.

when does a strength become a weakness? when does hope turn to naivety(is that a word)? maybe i'm the one with twisted logic...nah.

in the end, it seems like we're all searching for the same thing. we expect there to be this moment of clarity in which all the choices we've made seem to come together. well, i think if that's what we're searching for we'ra all pretty much fucked.

all we have is to do what feels right.

trying to read between the lines i've become lost, confused and frusterated. holding on to the hope that could either be my blessing or destruction, i believe in...

hopefully i'm not the only one.

6:23 PM - 4 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

the struggle...
Current mood: pensive/working/blah

do you ever wake up with this over-powering haze of nothing consuming your every thought. the understanding that nothing has changed, however something overpowers your existence and twists you thoughts into something uncomprehendable. those days where nothing is specifically wrong yet you wake up with the understanding that today sucks. maybe i can trace it to yesterday. maybe it was the long boring day of not so periodic browsing of bbc, slate, myspace, youtube, rolling stone, spin etc. the not so slow descent down the path of me needing to run down the street flailing my arms and screeming. maybe it was my long awaited nap being destroyed by the loud banging on my door in search of a pipe. either way, today feels like a no good very bad day.

the struggle. confusion compensated by a busy life. hope lined with reality. logic fights overanalyzation. sadness brought by boredom. comfort distracts from dreams. dreams give hope.

i'm an idealist trying to be a realist hoping it wont work. lets see what happens. nothing's changed.

10:04 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

tag...you're it.

TAG

Tag, You're It!

THE RULES: The rules are, once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog about yourself listing six weird habits/things about yourself. At the end you need to choose the six people you will tag and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and to read your blog.

1. i once ran into myself in the mirror three, yes three times in a row before realizing that i was trying to get around myself at the end of a staircase. i also spoke to my reflection in the process, apologizing for bumping into myself. this was at a party and yes, this was done sober.

2. i am uncontrolably ticklish to the point that i claim no responsibility to any injuries incurred from my flailing limbs. tickle at your own risk.

3. if necessary i will pee pretty much anywhere and quicker than most guys which some may go as far as to call it a gift. for example...trashcan in the metro in rome.

4. i cannot burp. instead i make these strange uncontrolable noises that tend to provide for some awkward moments. it's kinda like a growl, however, it can sometimes become far more interesting.

5. i own 2 pogo sticks, a harmonica, a recorder and i have a gas mask hanging on my wall. i have no explainations. the pogo sticks were purchased 2 summers ago.

6. i can pinch with my toes...i'm scrappy like that. and believe me, it's affective.

i choose: jeremy, jill, jolene, molly, sage, chris

10:14 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

words memories wrote
Current mood: wide awake

it's 12:30 and after an hours effort at sleep i have given in to the inescapable insomnia that continues to creep its way into my life. the lyrics of songs mochingly poke fun at memories that grasp hold of my pinky as if to provide some comfort or peace of mind. boredom sets in. the desire for more creates an imbalance. 1:10. still wide awake. the cycle of thought continue to spiral distracting me from doing something more productive. i see the shadow of my guitar which, as i grow older, only becomes more intimidating. beside it sits a notebook with a letter i keep putting off writing. tomorrow. a night stand holds 5 books i have neglected to finish. my second playlist of the night ends. back to old trusty playlist "sleep"...a wishful title. it's a farely well known fact that i'm an insomniac. it's been that way since high school but for the last couple of months i've been sleeping well. there have been a few theories brought forth as to why the sudden change and nights like this only reapear to taunt and remind me that i will forever be lost in thought. i change the song. 1:35. i'll give it another few hours.

Currently listening : 5 Songs By The Decemberists Release date: 04 March, 2003

12:25 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

bad writing enduced by yellow tail and my guitar...
Current mood: many

uncertainty in the direction i choose to continue
unable to decifer my wants from my needs as
the perpetuation of the monotonous routine slowly destroys the freedom once had
confined by the structures i assimilate to
guided down this path with alluring taste of success
a future thrusted at me upon arrival
unknowing of where it will take me
===>more importaintly, uncertain of where i want to be
and the wish to escape the impending future

holding on to the good.

i'm not who i was, but hopefully i can be better.

Currently listening : Nowhere By Ride Release date: 29 December, 1990

9:00 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

chode debate...
Current mood: woke up too eff'n early.

last night/early this morning Jolene, Jill and I concluded the long running debate over the definition of chode. this blog is in dedication to all those who contributed.

Me: a penis that is as wide as it is fat.
Jolene: the area between the asshole and the balls.
Kristin: same as 'taint': the space between your balls and your butthole. aka 'perineum'.
Molly: short and fat. wide. most commen reference to penis. also heard it as equivalent to taint.
AJ: "Semi" valley. smellls spunky? hairy sometimes. smooth? an area i like to lick?
Angie: a penis thats as wide as it is long.
leigha: a dick that is wide as is long.
Ricky: the skin between your balls and anus.
**and my personal favorite WORD FOR WORD**
tatiana: Chode: a sandstorm otherwise known as a simoon. Noun

after googling it and asking everyone at the bar we concluded that a chode is in fact both definitions. i personally think the skin between the balls and ass should be referred to as the taint, cause it taint your balls and it taint your ass...but i guess it can be both.

7:37 AM - 6 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

dilemas, conundrums, forks
Current mood: working
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

By Courtney E. Martin Thu Apr 27, 4:00 AM ET

BROOKLYN, N.Y. - Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day (April 27) would be a great idea if the contemporary workplace was actually a place where we wanted our daughters and sons to end up. Unfortunately, for the second-wave feminists who created it, and fortunately, for the third-wave feminists who aren't having it, this "special day" is about as relevant as a traditional Southern coming out party.

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The "opt-out revolution," first coined by Lisa Belkin in her New York Times Magazine story in October 2003, has since been discussed by feminists and antifeminists alike in countless news features and opinion pieces. The trend of young women rejecting the traditional workforce is, indeed, real. But this trend isn't limited to young women. What social commentators are failing to point out is that both young men and women are not just opting out, we're not even buying in.


Five years after collecting an Ivy League undergraduate degree, I look around at my crew of brilliant and promising young friends and see only a few of us who are willing to slave away 12 hours a day for the security of a 401(k). It isn't that we're impractical - I'd give my pinkie finger for the comfort of health insurance - or adverse to hard work. It comes down to this: We have watched our parents waste away in drab cubicles and count the days to retirement. We have heard them whine about the work/life balance. And we're not having it.


Call me idealistic, but isn't work supposed to be part of life? In other words, a vital, joyful activity? Do I have to accept the idea that "real life" begins when I punch out at 8 p.m. each day? Am I supposed to settle for being alive only on the weekends?


I don't mean to say that my peers and I are spoiled brats who don't want to pay their dues. We do want to contribute to society, but we want to do it in a way that doesn't drain the life out of us. That is why the majority of my friends have gravitated toward self-employment, freelancing, consulting, and part-time work. According to Working Today, a national nonprofit that advocates for these outside-the-box thinkers, 30 percent of the current workforce is independently employed. I predict that this number is heading nowhere but up.


While corporate CEOs and nonprofit executive directors rub their hands together with the anticipation of fresh copying/collating young blood, we are running the other way. A childhood friend in Denver started his own medical supply business right out of college. My writing partner from Houston does freelance music promotion and writes screenplays. My housemate spends his Brooklyn days packaging books and teaching kids to play the guitar. We are digital video artists, web designers, bloggers, stock market players, personal assistants, and bartenders. And we are all in our mid 20s.


Unlike our parents, Generation Y is rejecting the workaholic ethos before we even have kids. We watched them, our beloved babysitters and cool young uncles, enjoy the flexibility and ingenuity of the dotcom work culture before it crashed. We watched our frenetic mothers juggle to-do lists only Vishnu could accomplish and our exhausted fathers stumble home from work in crumpled suits. We want something different.


The "opt-out revolution" is not about young women prioritizing their families over their careers, despite the media hype and doomsday predictions. In fact, recent research by Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children," reveals that the majority of women who leave the workforce do so because they are uninspired at work.


The young women I know are powerhouses of ambition, confidence, and innovation. We aren't shrinking from our potential in the big, bad world in favor of safe stay-at-home options. We are defiantly rejecting a culture that doesn't recognize the value of family, flexibility, and fun. We don't even want it all if that "all" includes sleep deprivation, regrets, and illness. We'd rather be excellent at less than mediocre at more, selfish and happy than sacrificing and bitter. We'd rather have a little bit of financial strain and insecurity and a lot of fulfillment, than a whole lifetime of biding our time for some mirage of retirement nirvana.


This is a crisis of culture, not a crisis of commitment. We are composing lives of free agency and ingenuity, making second-wave feminist rhetoric about "choice" real. It is not a failure of feminism that we are opting out. It is, in fact, a tribute to it.


Courtney E. Martin is a writer living in Brooklyn, N.Y. Her book "Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters" is forthcoming in March 2007.

9:53 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

today

because it won't let me make it my song, and because i don't have time to put down my own lyrics. this is where i'm at.

death cab for cutie
expo 86

Sometimes i think this cycle never ends
We slide from top to bottom and we turn and climb again
And it seems by the time that i have figured what it's worth
The squeaking of our skin against the steel has gotten worse.

But if i move my place in line i'll lose.
And i have waited, the anticipation's got me glued.

I am waiting for something to go wrong.
I am waiting for familiar resolve.

Sometimes it seems that i don't have the skills to recollect
The twists and turns of plots that took us from lovers to friends
I'm thinking i should take that volume back up off the shelf
And crack it's weary spine and read to help remind myself

But if i move my place in line i'll lose.
And I have waited, the anticipation's got me glued.

I am waiting for something to wrong
I am waiting for familiar resolve
I am waiting for another repeat
Another diet fed by crippling defeat
And i am waiting for that sense of relief
I am waiting for you to flee the scene
As if you held in your hand the smoking gun
And on the floor lay the one you said you loved.

And it's strange
They are basically the same
So i don't ask names anymore.

Sometimes i think this cycle never ends
We slide from top to bottom and we turn and climb again
And it seems by the time that i have figured what it's worth
The squeaking of our skin against the steel has gotten worse.

The squeaking of our skin against the steel has gotten worse [x2]

2:43 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

movin on up
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Not only did I get a promotion at my job after being here less then 2 weeks, i got my own freaken office!! I had been looking into masters programs abroad the entire day until they called me over. Atleast I know I have a good job until i decide if and where I'll be heading next. Who knows where i'll end up.

9:08 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment