Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 40
Sign: Scorpio
City: Pauls Valley
State: Oklahoma
Country: US
Signup Date:
10/14/06
|
Blog Archive
[ Older
Newer ]
|
|
 |
|
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
|
Online Class 3 How Find True Love? Join us today!
Welcome to my Online class on "HOW FIND TRUE LOVE."
The homework reading come from my book, "How To Choose A Worth Mate and Find True Love." at http://www.holidayhillsbaptistchurch.com/eBooks.html
Class III: Fatal Families
" . . . but He will by no means clear the guilty,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generations." Numbers 14:18c
There is a film entitled Damaged that is based on a best selling novel by Josephine Hart. The story is centered on Dr. Stephen Fleming, a married, British government official, who has a fatal attraction to Anna Barton, a young woman he met at a reception.
Anna Barton is a dark character who refers to herself as "damaged." Anna Barton says in the novel, "I have told you in order to issue a warning. I have been damaged." Anna Barton would not hurt anyone, not by an overt act, but her presence would eventually lead to harm.
I am writing Overcoming Fatal Attractions in order to issue a warning. People who come from fatal families are damaged. Without the proper emotional help, either their presence or their choice of a relationship will eventually lead to harm.
One of the most emotionally destructive forces in our nation today is that of the fatal family. People who have fatal attractions come from fatal families. I will define fatal families as those families that do not give children the proper emotional nurturing that they need to become mature adults.
Generational Curses
In Dr. Susan Forward's book, Toxic Parents:
Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy And Reclaiming Your Life, she shares a letter from a woman named Janet. She then gives her insight into the fatal family: " . . . what I realized was that not only was my husband abusive, but that I had come from several generations of victimized women andabusive men." Even though the cast of characters may change, the repetitive cycle of toxic behavior can remain for generations on end. The family drama may look and sound different from generation to generation, but all toxic patterns are remarkably similar in their outcome: pain and suffering. 2
There is a Biblical principle that says that the wrongdoings of the parents are visited on their children and on their grandchildren to the third and fourth generations (Num. 14:18c). Some Biblical experts site this passage when referring to generational curses.
Whatever you call the process, in which your parents in a negative sense affect you, is what I would like to explore. This is want I am calling "the parent trap."
The Parent Trap
In a Newsweek magazine article entitled "The Parent Trap," a claim was made that:
After parents contribute an egg or a sperm filled with DNA, virtually nothing they do or say - no kind words or hugs, slaps or tirades; neither encouragement nor scorn - makes a smidgen of a difference to what kind of adult the child becomes. Nothing parents do will affect his behavior, mental health, ability to form relationships, sense of self-worth, intelligence or personality. What genes don't do, peers do.3
This belief opposes any study done on children from fatal families, and I disagree with it! The parent trap that you
came from will affect you as an adult. Therefore, understanding
your family is crucial to overcoming fatal
attractions.
Providence Grants Little
In a book from 1886 entitled Damaged Parent, Charles Loring Brace made remarks on fatal parents, or the parent trap, to newsboys staying in a lodging house that his Children's Aid Society had set up for them. These words spoken over a hundred and twelve years ago still apply to fatal families of our time. Brace said, Providence has granted you very little of the world's greatest blessing – the affection of the home. Your father, if you ever knew him, probably beat you when he was drunk, and worked you like a beast of burden when he was sober. Your mother, very likely, half-starved you and whipped you, and finally, in her intoxication, drove you out of house and home. Your faces are worn and your bodies scarred often with the abuse of those who ought to have loved you.4
Lesson Learn
Everybody was busy doing his or her own thing while stumbling over the present and falling over the past. Lula Thomas
The Bible says in Prov. 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he (or she) is old he will not depart from it."
People who come from fatal families are damaged. Providence has granted you very little of the world's greatest blessing – the affection of the home (Ps. 128:1-4). Without the proper emotional help, either their People who have fatal attractions come from fatal families. I have defined fatal families, as those families that do not give children the proper emotional (training) nurture that they need to become mature adults. In my mother's family there was bad emotional training. They did not have the ability to choose a proper or an affectionate mate because they unconsciously were trained not to want affectionate mates. They felt most comfortablein tense relationships like their parents' relationships.
They needed this tense stimulation in relationships to feel at home in the relationship(Num.14:18c).
People who come from fatal families must forgive and not blame their parents for the past. Most likely your parents come from a fatal family as well. I was very surprised to find out about the fatal families my parentscame from. Grandparents seem to have it all together. Grandparents in their younger days could be the problem why you are having fatal attractions and titanic love affairs today (Num. 14:18c). If you choose not to forgive,it will affect your spiritual life (Matt. 6:12;14-15.)
Homework
Your homework assignment is to post (in 30 words or less) the answer to this question, "What kind of family did you come from?"
Extra Credit
Listen to "Sin Of The Father" at this link:
http://www.heargodswordatbethlehem.com/products.html
How To Survive On Broken Pieces is in the player (Pauls Valley Player) on the left side of the page!
7:19 AM
-
0 Comments - 0 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
|
Online Class 2 How Find True Love? Join us today!
Category: Romance and Relationships
Welcome to my Online class on "HOW FIND TRUE LOVE"..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
The homework reading come from my book, "How To Choose A Worth Mate and Find True Love." at http://www.holidayhillsbaptistchurch.com/eBooks.html
Class II: What is a Fatal Attraction?
I THINK I'VE FOUND MR. RIGHT?
Recently a woman named Mary and a friend of hers approached us after a service at our church. Mary said, "I'm living with a man, and I know I shouldn't be. So I'm going to marry him . . . I think. There are a few problems, though. My friend keeps telling me I shouldn't go through with the wedding, but I want to know what you think." She proceeded to tell us of her boyfriend's drinking problem, his cocaine use, his frequent unemployment, his temper, and finally, his verbal and physical abuse toward her. She looked at us expectantly.1
WHAT IS A FATAL ATTRACTION?
Then Samson went down to Timnah and saw a woman . . . one of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore (Samson said), get her for me as a wife. Judges 14:1&2b
In 1987, the movie Fatal Attraction drew blockbuster crowds. It's a story about a successful attorney who had a loving wife and a adorable child. He found himself attracted to a female co-worker and indulged in a one-night stand with her. This femme fatale refused to let go of what she imagined was a relationship. She angrily reacted to his subsequent rejection of her. The consequence for the attorney's infidelity turned out to be fatal. One woman after seeing Fatal Attraction gave this review of the movie: "It summed up my forty-year relationship history in two words."
Fatal Attraction
When I share with people the title of my book, I have never been asked this question: "What is a fatal attraction?" It seems that everyone I have spoken to knows the answer
to this question. In most cases either they themselves, or someone they know, have been victimized by a fatal choice for a mate. I like the way the author, Melody Beattie,
describes this phenomenon of choice: Many of us have lived with this phenomenon of being instinctively and powerfully attracted to people who aren't in our best interest. For years, I mistakenly called it "falling in love" and "God's will."2
I define a fatal attraction as the phenomenon of being instinctively and powerfully attracted to a bad boy or a femme fatale. Christy, in Melody's book, describes this phenomenon this way: "I can walk into a room of 500 men, 499 of whom are successful and healthy, spot the one unemployed felon in the bunch, and find him catching my eye."
She Caught My Eye
I, like Melody and Christy, have had fatal attractions. The most fatal attraction I had was to my ex-wife Joan (not her real name).1 She was the only lady that I had ever fallen in love with. I had never felt love like that before. I would soon learn that this was an instinctive and powerful attraction that would turn fatal.
Lesson to Learn
• Relationships should not solely be based on a physical attraction. As I look back on my relationship with Joan, there was a powerful physical attraction that I had for her. This physical attraction was one of many encumbrances that impaired my ability to choose an equivalent mate. Psychologists call this "the halo effect." The halo effect occurs when a physical attraction, or any one characteristic, dominates the way you see a person. When you are attracted to someone solely based on the physical, you perceive that person as more spiritual, intelligent, sensitive, kind, interesting, and sociable (Prov. 31:30).
• Be very cautious of marrying someone who has been divorced. People who have been divorced have shown that they did not have the ability to choose the right mate or be the right mate. This can be a very good indicator of emotional or spiritual immaturity. As I look back on my relationship with Joan, I was not emotionally mature enough to choose a mate (1 Cor.13:11).
• Be open to the dating process. Dating should be a process of self-discovery. If you are only attracted to the bad boy, this indicates that you need to begin the process of recovery. The type of people you attract or are attracted to can be a very good indicator of how much work you need to do before marriage. Use dating as a process with which you begin to prepare for marriage (Prov. 11:14).
Homework
Your homework assignment is to post (in 30 words or less) the answer to this question, "Have you ever had a fatal attraction?"
Extra Credit
Listen to "How To Survive On Broken Pieces" at this link:
http://www.heargodswordatbethlehem.com/products.html
How To Survive On Broken Pieces is in the player (Pauls Valley Player) on the left side of the page!
8:30 AM
-
1 Comments - 1 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Thursday, April 24, 2008
|
Online Class: How To Find True LOVE? Join us today!
Category: Romance and Relationships
Welcome to my Online class on
"H OW FIND TRUE LOVE"
The homework reading come from my book, "How To Choose A Worth Mate and Find True Love." at http://www.holidayhillsbaptistchurch.com/eBooks.html
First Class :
Love & Cycles
Breaking the cycles of generational curses to find
a worthy mate and true love is a passage one must
take to have healthy relationships. The
completion of this passage is a mandate for those
of us who are on our first or second divorce or in
a second or third marriage. The woman who
is being physically and emotionally abused must
complete this rite of passage. The man who thinks
there are not any good women left, the woman
who thinks there are not any good men left: this
man and woman are good candidates
for this rite of passage. The mandate to take this
passage goes out to the man or woman who is
addicted to drugs or alcohol. The little boy or girl
who grew up in a home where emotional needs
were not met must finish this passage.
Breaking the cycles of generational curses to find
a worthy mate and true love is for those of us who
are intuitively attracted to people who can not
love us back. Why do we choose to love the
people that we do? The answer to this question
can only be answered on this passage. This
passage may take us back to who we were as
children. The answer to this question may be
found in the family we grew up in.
The answer found may be what happened or did
not happen to us as children. Generational curses
can have a very profound effect on our
relationships. Especially, when we consider the
decision to marry. What happened to us on the
way to adulthood holds the key to why we
choose to love the people we do. It may also play
a role in why we seem to be preprogrammed for
additive behavior.
If you came from a cursed family tree you will
find a cursed or bad relationship to be more
comfortable and familiar than a blessed one.
Therefore, this passage holds the key to why we
are the multitude of life's tragedies of love. We
are like Mark Anthony, who squandered his
empire and emotions on a femme fatale who lead
him to his ruin. We end up looking like fools. We
are fools for love. We inspired the songwriter to
write the song that posed this question, "Why do
fools fall in love?" The relationship ends after we
have wasted our love on Mr. or Ms. Wrong. Then
we ask ourselves the same question.
After we convince ourselves that we are ready for
another relationship, we rebound into the same
fatal cycle that leads back into still another
wasted love affair with the same type of person.
It is time to confront your issues head on. I invite
you to take a look at the person in the mirror and
experience healing, restoration, and rejuvenation.
You deserve a worthy mate and true love!
Extra Credit
Listen to "How To Find True Love" at this link:
http://www.heargodswordatbethlehem.com/products.html
How To Find True Love is in the player (Pauls Valley Player) on the left side of the page!
6:25 AM
-
2 Comments - 4 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Monday, March 24, 2008
|
Seven Disciplines of A Christian Woman Parts 3 & 4
Category: Religion and Philosophy
Welcome to my blog series on "The Seven Disciplines of A Christian Woman’s Faith."
This reading is from my book entitled, "How To Become A Good Thing." Read this book online at http://www.holidayhillsbaptistchurch.com/eBooks.html
Discipline 3: Memorizing The Word Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Psalm 119:11..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
The next discipline in this process is to memorize God’s Word. You do this so that you can more easily recall relevant scripture in times of need. Deidra needed God’s word in her heart so that she could call on it during her time of doubt and temptation.
Jesus had God’s word in His heart when Satan tried to tempt Him. Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Jesus answered, "It is written: ’Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: " ’He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." Jesus answered him, "It is also written: ’Do not put the Lord your God to the test". Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ’Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only." Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him. Matt. 4:1-11 If Jesus memorizes the Word, how much more should we?
Discipline 4: Studying The Word
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 Webster dictionary defines the word "study" as: "to apply oneself to an act or the process of applying the mind to acquire knowledge or understanding as by reading, investigation or state of mental absorption." When you are reading, meditating, and memorizing God’s Word you are already studying it. However there is one part of the definition, as defined by Webster, that is missing: investigation. So, then, how do you investigate God’s Word? You can and should investigate God’s Word by learning to use research tools like the following.
! Matthew Henry’s Exhaustive
Commentary
Originally written in 1706, Matthew
Henry’s six volume complete commentary
provides an exhaustive look
at every verse in the Bible.
! Nave’s Topical Bible Nave’s
Topics were originally produced by
Orville J. Nave, A.M., D.D., L.L.D. while
serving as a Chaplin in the United
States Army. He referred to this work
as "the result of fourteen years of delightful
and untiring study of the Word
of God." Nave’s topics were originally
published in the early 1900’s, and con
sists of 20,000+ topics and subtopics,
and 100,000 references to the Scriptures.
! Strong’s Greek and Hebrew Concordances
The Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance
is the most complete, easy-to-use, and
understandable concordance for
studying the original languages of the
Bible. Combining the text of the King
James Bible with the power of the
Greek and Hebrew Lexicons, any student
or pastor can gain a clear understanding
of the Word to enrich their
study.
! Interlinear Bibles
Gives you the Greek or Hebrew (the
original language of the Bible) texts
side by side with the English text.
! Lexicons
Used for word studies from the Greek
or Hebrew.
! Parallel Bible
Offers different translation of the bible
side by side.
As you use these tools to study Bible passages, you will learn how to rightly divide the word of truth. God tells us in Isaiah 28:9-10, "Whom shall God teach to knowledge, and whom shall
He make to understand doctrine? For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little and there a little."
Listen to "Lady Wisdom Has The Key To Finding God’s Favor in 2008" at this link:
http://www.heargodswordatbethlehem.com/products.html
Lady Wisdom Has The Key To Finding God’s Favor in 2008 is in the player (Pauls Valley Player) on the left side of the page!
3:43 PM
-
0 Comments - 0 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Monday, March 17, 2008
|
Seven Disciplines of A Christian Woman Parts 1 & 2
Welcome to my blog series on "The Seven Disciplines of A Christian Woman’s Faith."
This reading is from my book entitled, "How To Become A Good Thing." Read this book online at http://www.holidayhillsbaptistchurch.com/eBooks.html
Discipline 1: Reading The Word
Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a
light for my path. Psalm 119:105
The first step toward becoming a good
thing is taking the time to read the
word of God. I suggest that those
young in the faith start out reading the
book of Matthew or John in the New
Testament or the book of Psalms or
Proverbs in the Old Testament. Strive
to read one chapter a day, which
should take you on average of fifteen
to twenty minutes.
Those more mature in the faith should
develop the discipline of reading
through the bible in one year, which
would require reading four to five
chapters a day. An average reader
can accomplish this in thirty to sixty
minutes a day. Instructional bibles
such as The Bible in a Year and programs
on the web can help you in this
endeavor. A newer translation of the
bible can help you get through the
more difficult books and chapters with
greater understanding.
Please note that I am not talking about
reading a devotional book. I am not
saying that devotional books aren’t
beneficial in any way. But when you
read them you are limited to the insights
of the author. The best devotional
or any Christian book that gets
you to mediate on God’s word can
and will be a blessing to you. However,
when you read God’s Word only,
you are unlimited to the Holy Spirit’s
insights. It is amazing how the Holy
Spirit leads you though the reading of
God’s word to the answers to your
questions and problems.
Discipline 2: Meditating On The Word
I will meditate on YOUR precepts,and
contemplate YOUR ways. Ps.119:15
Meditating is receiving a Word from
the Holy Spirit is simply thinking about
its meaning. It is very empowering to
think about what God says. Here is an
example of how a young lady was
meditating on God’s word.
I was in my office one day trying to
get some work done for the kingdom
of God. I received a phone call from
a young lady, Deidra, who wanted to
speak to a pastor. She was in tears
and desperate. Deidra confessed that
she was struggling with drug addiction,
had lost her job, and Child Protective
Services had just removed her children
from their home. She was on probation
for crimes she had committed
while under the influence of drugs. In
fact, Deidra had used drugs only a few
days before our conversation.
I asked her point blank, "Are you under
the influence of drugs now?" I was
praying under my breath, "Lord give
me wisdom for I do not know what I
am doing." She replied that she was
not. Deidra sought the help of a pastor
because she didn’t want to fall
under the control of drugs anymore.
Deidra was contemplating turning
herself in the following Monday for a
crime she did not commit. Because
she had previously had problems with
the law , she didn’t think anyone would
believe she was innocent. She had
mentioned earlier in our conversation
that she was saved, so I asked, "What
did God tell you to do?" She felt God
was instructing her to turn herself over
to the police. When I asked how she
knew that, she referred to
Deuteronomy 1:16-17 (New American
Standard).
It reads:
’…Hear the cases between your fellow
countrymen, and judge righteously
between a man and his fellow
countryman, or the alien who is with
him. You shall not show partiality in
judgment; you shall hear the small and
the great alike. You shall not fear man,
for the judgment is God’s. The case
that is too hard for you, you shall bring
to me, and I will hear it.’
This woman had a warrant out for her
arrest. She could run from the law.
Which is clearly wrong. Or her could
trust God to deliver because this time
she was innocent. God wanted me
to remind her of what He had told her
through His word. God was telling her
to not fear man. God was saying
though His word to her that He would
be the rightous judge who would deliver
him. God had personally answered
her prayers. She would have
to believe that God come do want He
said in His word. She needed to meditate
on it, so she could say as Job did:
"Thy words have upholden him that
was falling, and thou hast strengthened
the feeble knees." Job 4:4
Listen to "Lady Wisdom Has The Key To Finding God’s Favor in 2008" at this link:
http://www.heargodswordatbethlehem.com/products.html
Lady Wisdom Has The Key To Finding God’s Favor in 2008 is in the player (Pauls Valley Player) on the left side of the page!
10:10 PM
-
0 Comments - 0 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Thursday, March 13, 2008
|
Worship That Moves Faith
Welcome to my blog series on "The Faith That Moves Mountains."
This reading is from my book entitled, "How To Become A Good Thing." Read this book online at http://www.holidayhillsbaptistchurch.com/eBooks.html
As we enter into the worship of God, I..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
would first like to define worship as a
whole lifestyle. However, here we will
address the adoration of God in the
context of the church service. Our
worship of God in the context of the
church service should be a reflection
of worship in heaven. The angel in
heaven are worshiping God continuously.
Isaiah gives us some insights into
worship in Isaiah 6:1-6.
In the year of King Uzziah’s death I
saw the Lord sitting on a throne, lofty
and exalted, with the train of His robe
filling the temple. Seraphim stood
above Him, each having six wings: with
two he covered his face, and with two
he covered his feet, and with two he
flew. And one called out to another
and said, " Holy, Holy, Holy, is the
LORD of hosts, The) whole earth is full
of His glory." And the foundations of
the thresholds trembled at the voice
of him who called out, while the
temple was filling with smoke. Then I
said, " Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I live among a people of unclean
lips; For my eyes have seen the King,
the LORD of hosts." Then one of the
seraphim flew to me with a burning
coal in his hand, which he had taken
from the altar with tongs. He touched
my mouth with it and said, "Behold,
this has touched your lips; and your iniquity
is taken away and your sin is forgiven."
8 Then I heard the voice of
the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send,
and who will go for Us?" Then I said,
"Here am I. Send me!" NASB
True worship in the context of the
church service should give you insight
into who God is which is Holy. You
should also get a true view of who you
are which is unholy. In true worship you
will have confess and forgiveness of
sins. In true worship peolpe will be
commission to service God in ministry.
If you during the worship service are
not lifted to heaven. You may be in
the wrong church. If you belong to a
church filled with self righteous people.
This may be a sign that true worship
may not be taking place. If you belong
to a church and no one is being
saved. True worship may not be taking
place. If you belong to a church
and people are not being called by
the power of the Holy Spirit to Christian
service . True worship may not be
taking place. If the heart of your
church is not to move members to
ministry. True worship may not be taking
place. If you, during the worship
service do not receive instructions from
God. You may not be involved in worship.
True worship leads you into the
character, confession and commission
(or instructions) of God. You should if
you are to become a good thing to a
man be involved in a church that worship.
Listen to "A Day In The House of God." at this link:
http://www.heargodswordatbethlehem.com/products.html
A Day In The House of God is in the player (Pauls Valley Player) on the left side of the page!
5:06 PM
-
0 Comments - 0 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Thursday, March 06, 2008
|
The Power of Prayer
Welcome to my blog series on "The Faith That Moves Mountains."
This reading is from my book entitled, "How To Become A Good Thing." Read this book online at http://www.holidayhillsbaptistchurch.com/eBooks.html
Praying Persistently and Patiently
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable
to show them that they should always
pray and not give up. Luke 18:1
In order to seek God, you must pray
persistently, and then wait for an answer.
For me, the hardest part of
prayer is the waiting. It is often said
that God answers all prayers. Sometimes
God says yes. Sometimes God
says no. But sometimes He tells us to
wait.
| | |
