(Wish I am) Down the Road
Current mood: artistic

Just got back home. Listening to the song again and over again--dancing myself with al the dogs at home...brilliant!! I wish I could do such things in lyrics--really I am so fucking sick of Bangkok...
I am always the most honest person when I am drunk..and if you want to know why the previous about "Best Friend Is..." is so touching---becuz I never had one. I know it pathetic but believe me I dont want anyone to feel sorry for me becuz I know in a few years I will sing this song out loud...


Down The Road: Plain White's T


Lost myself again
Didn't care I was missing
Said goodbye to friends and drove away
I just don't belong in a town
Where no one listens
Even if I'm wrong I'll find a way

Gotta get away from here
Find a way to disappear
Say goodbye to everything and everyone I know
Gotta go and leave this town
All it does is bring me down
I just wanna tell my friends no matter where I go
I'll see 'em down the road

Lost myself again
No one knew I was missing
Said goodbye to Dad and his new wife
Stuck around this long
And I was sick and tired of wishing
Even if I'm wrong I'll still be right

I'm sick of dreaming
I would rather stay up all night
Live my own life, don't worry about me

Gotta get away from here
Find a way to disappear
Say goodbye to everything and everyone I know
Gotta go and leave this town
All it does is bring me down
I just wanna tell my friends no matter where I go
I'll see 'em down the road
I'll see 'em down the road
I'll see 'em down the road
I'll see 'em down the road


More Setlist:

Creep: Radiohead
Bitch: Meredith Brooks
Dreaming out loud: OneRepublic
Numb: Linkin Park
Crawling: Linkin Park
No Road Left: Linkin Park
No Body's Home: Avril Lavigne
In Pieces: Linkin Park
Vindicated: Dashboard Confessional
Why Do I Keep Counting: the Killers
When It All Fall Apart : Veronica Mars
Broken: Lifehouse
My Sweet Song: Toby Lightman
Irish: Goo Goo Doors
Such Great Height: Frankmusik
Standing In The Rain: Jamie Scotss and the Town
Someone To Save You: OneRepublic

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Your Best Friends Is...

Your best friend is…

Don't cry okay? And I'm expecting to get replied

Kidder garden: best friend is a red crayon when there is only a black crayon left

………….....

Grade 1, best friend is one who walks you to toilet and holds your hand when you walk through the dark hall
....................

Grade 2, your best friend is one that encourages you to attend your dislike classes (?)
.....................

Grade 3, best friend is one who shares lunch when you forget lunch box at home J
...............

Grade 4, best friend would change a dace partner in your Balloon Dance class when you don't want to dance with pervert-Nick or Smelly Tim:P
............

Grade 5, best friend is one who shares the seat at lunch time
...........

Grade 6, best friend is one who with you when you asking the one you crush on to dance with you-so then when you are rejected you would not feel ashamed

Grade 7, best friend is one who let you copy his/her homework answer
.............

Grade 8, best friend is one who help you with Group Project and never (ever) talk behind your back
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grade 9, best friend is a Love Consultant and understands your emotional change
....................

Grade 10, best friend is one who would change class schedule so then you will have friend for lunch
................

Grade11, best friend is one who allows you to drive her/his new car and talk to your parents when you have problem and shoulders to cry on when you break up with your boy friend or girl friend
..............

Grade 12, best friend is one who help you choosing the right University and tell you that you are surely accepted
..........
On your graduation year, best friend is one who secretly cries but still sharing a big smile to you

Summer after graduation, best friend is one who helps you clean up after the party and helps when you sneaking out of the house at night, helps you packing for college and gives you hugs with sadness eyes with the 18 years memories of supporting you in every paths you chose.
...............................

And now your best friend is still the best thing you have ever had

Holds your hands when you are scared

Deafens you from those who take advantages of you, thinks of you when you are gone, is your reminder when you forget, help you through the bad past but also understands if you want to live with the pass for awhile

Best friend always there so you are confident or will leave you for awhile so that you will have time for yourself, help you fixes all the past mistakes,  make you a better person, importantly-----love you
.....................  
Send this to your 'old friend' and 'new friend' and 'friend who always with you', thanks them for 'friendship' no matter where we are, or who we will become, we will never forget the one who helps us to get there.

..............

There is never 'not a right time' to call or text to say how much you 'miss' and 'love' them
...............

You know who you are,

Send this to those you miss,

And wait for their replies
.................................

Importantly, stay close to your friends and family and tell them how you feel—at least you going to make a different in your and their day J
..............................

I got this from a forward mail and this is like the best of trillion forward mail I have ever recieved. It makes my day, so here I am translating it from Thai to English--sharing it with you :)

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GOODBYE APATHY

Monday, April 28, 2008 at 1:05am

I had a horrible week,
- I like someone but I am too shy to let known, and now it is probably too late (what a loser I am)
- My best friend died from a car accident, but somehow I feel like he is still around

What a horrible emotional moment I went through, thought I would just had a lonely, depressing weekend…but nahhh….

Yesterday, I woke up and felt like nothing is going to bring me down (except I bring myself down)

I started my day by selecting '03. For A Beautiful Day' play-list on my iPOD (A Beautiful: U2, Read My Mind: Killers, Bigger Than My Body: John Mayer, Over My Head: Fray, Chocolate: Snow Patrol, Valerie: Mark Ronson+Amy Winhouse etc..) I haven't played this play-list and feel like I couldn't get any happier for a long while…yeah it was a good start

I finally got a new hair-cut, fuck yeah, I look more handsome than usual :P

I went to my Italian class, I couldn't really give a damn—I scratch my notebook like a crazy person and decided to leave, and went to spend my lovely afternoon with a friend.

I went to have dinner with Bordeaux and his boy-friend, it was a good catch up. Then I went for a 3 liters draft beer with Fai and other friends….after mid-night I went clubbing with Ken and other boys….it was well fun [big thanks to everyone]

Because life is like that...,

Life is like a big book and our daily life is just a single page of it, where you will find some pages are sweet and bitters, some pages can be full of adventure, and some pages will make you feel like it is unfair,

All characters in those book are people that we know. And surely, people will come and go and that is one of those facts in life.


Then again, you would never find a surprise reading a book of your life, if you know the ending...


So enjoy and appreciated the moment with whomever still with you, because you will never know when they are going to leave you or perhaps you might be the one that have to leave them



Paul Sprite

"You make your life, not life makes you

**This note was written on April 28th, 2008 at 1.OOAM-right after that I book my flight traveled to Singapore a week later**

Currently reading : Slam By Nick Hornby

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What A (Well) Fabulous Day !!
Current mood: fabulous

Today is my first day off from both work and school since 'new year' holiday. It is a day that I have nothing plan on my iPOD TOUCH calendar. Yesterday, I was planning to work on my 'Office Management' term papers. And today, is the first day that I do not do what I planned from yesterday or a day before.

Woke up and rolling around in bed while watching Ugly Betty, then I cooked can food for both my dogs and mine breakfast (different can, ofcuz) I did not know what came to my mind, but I decided to do laundry; clothe, pillow case, bed sheet, socks, etc. I turn on MTV, the song was fun so I decided to mop the floor; first my bed room, then it did the whole house. I did so many things that I have not done for a very long time since I started University and work at WSI, left it as my parents' job.

Waiting for laundry done, thinking about going to weekend market where I have not been for ages. I do not really know what I really wanted to buy but I wanted to go anyway. So, I arranged that, will go with my friend later this evening.

There is no point or something in between lines I wrote today. I'm just happy… and I would like to share it to you. Sometime, thing that happens unexpected will surprise you and make it the best day you ever had so far.


Have a good weekend,

Paul Sprite

Currently listening : Once By Original Soundtrack Release date: 22 May, 2007

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And now I am much more better

Currently listening : Back to Black By Amy Winehouse Release date: 13 March, 2007

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My December

My December


How is your December going? What was your one like last year? When the winter comes, holiday and special occasions to celebrate—who stand next to you, was it someone special, was it your best one of your family or best friends, or were you all alone by yourself? My December supposed to be fun, there is my birthday anniversary, a semester break, long holiday for x'mas and New Year to share through it.

December 2005, I lost first perfect ex bf, Aaron, to someone else. Although he spent my birthday with me but it was just a pity one. I remember new year eve where we tried our best to make it up but some how it was just too late, because of our misinterpreted, because of not saying what we wanted from each other but felt sorry for ourselves for not being good enough to each other.

December 2006, I worked and studied 7 days a week, ended got home at mid-night on my birthday where my mom and my younger brother who already felt asleep, and cake made by dad had to be blown on the following day. My X-mas eve spent preparing for final exam and new year eve was at a wild party with strangers, no one I know there—even the host, I've never met him before but talked on the internet.

This December, it numb, cold, and confused. I can say I am not scared of being alone and through another December that full of excitement to everyone. But would not it be better to share it someone else, someone to be with on a birthday anniversary, someone to standing next to me in the picture with Christmas tree as a background, or one to celebrating when the new year come to.


And this December, I am more sensitive than ever…





"Is it me? Am I the reason people always leave? Am I the reason all these things keep happening to me? Maybe I'm just destined to be alone"—One Thee Hills.

Currently listening : Stop All The World Now By Howie Day Release date: 07 October, 2003

6:39 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Your Songs
Category: Life

What do you do when life sucks, when everything is going in to wrong ways and things are getting out of hands. Do you wait for someone to rescues you? Do you wait for someone else's hands to pull you up and your hands to be held? Sinece 'waiting'  to be hopeless and disappointed, I  instead will find a way to comfort myself, I will tell my self that everything will be okay—I listen to songs; 'my songs'

'My songs'—songs that I listen to and I will take it to myself that the lyrics were written just for me—to fix me, songs which sang and told that things will be okay. All the notes and sounds that were compose to make me feel safe and relived. And if I want to feel like being loved, I would turn on "Take Me Away" by Lifehosue, if it was sent by someone then you will completely fallen for him. A song that telling you to wait, and don't give up on it, yet.

There is no need to be depressed or crying in desperate, and wondering why you can't be one of those you are dreaming of, wondering  why can't you be special to someone, and why there is not anyone special to you. Perhaps, one is busy with work, perhaps one is else where, and perhaps one is playing a guitar and singing a 'love song for no-one' , just like you. However, someday, someone will help you to hear the songs in the world, one will tell you that everything will be okay, and one to promise that will always be there for you.

At this very moment, I would probably have 3% of alcohol in my blood but that is not the point, point is that I went to a party earlier this evening, met many nice people and some lovely couples. Watching this lovely couples is a little of something, they have been together for 10-20 years and some of them are about to turn into 30^th years anniversary of sharing both up and down.

These people showing you that true love is still exist. And even we live in a world that full of hates and lies, cold and pain but that makes it worth to look at, worth to live in, and  worth to hope for…

Paul Sprite

5th Nov, 2005

3: 54 AM

"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, when life get hard, when things change, true love remains the same"--William Shakespears

Currently reading : Dear John By Nicholas Sparks Release date: 30 October, 2006

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Broken

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes…all you need is one" (One Thee Hills-TV Series)

Everytime that life sucks, I love to read this over and over again. I have been thinking a lot, I keep saying I am a nice guy and I derserved something better than that. I am not sure now if it is true.

I broke thousand of peoepl's heart in town, there is no one that do not know me. I ran away from one to another, and from another to the others for so many time in the past. There are a lot of people that want to build something up with me and I just ruin everything. I do not know how to say, it sad to say I wish I could bring them back.

People are always like that, we do not know what we've got til it gone. And by the time that the thing that you ve waiting for destroys you, the person who was waiting for you had alreayd gone.

Sometime if we would just look around, what we are surrounded by, thing that we have not noticed could be the best thing you ever had. I promise that this time I will make thing better--

However, at this moment, I try very hard to look around but there is no one.

Six billion people in the world, six billion souls, he might be somewhere; waiting for train to work, sleeping in bed, showering a dog, at the party, or even on the air plane....we'll find them some day

hugs,
Paul

Oct 1st 2007

Currently listening : Who We Are By Lifehouse Release date: 19 June, 2007

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If You’re the Luckiest One, the Person You Love Will Love You Back
Category: Writing and Poetry

A few years back, I saw a film called Wicker Park.

PLOT--taken from Wikipedia

"Wicker Park is a psychological drama about a man, Matt, (Josh Hartnett) caught in an obsessive search for a woman he fell deeply in love with, Lisa, (Diane Kruger) a woman who then vanished without a trace. Two years after her disappearance, he catches a fleeting glimpse of her in a local bar and begins a twisting search to find her and discover what really happened.

At first the protagonist, Matt, is portrayed as a stalker, who is obsessed with Lisa and is probably mentally insane. He follows her and breaks into both her apartment and hotel room. As details are revealed regarding their former relationship through a series of dreams and flashbacks, the plot begins to thicken as Matt is portrayed in a more sympathetic light. Indeed, after an encounter with a woman that initially leads the audience to believe that Matt is hallucinating, it is revealed that Matt's obsession may not be completely irrational and that he is indeed the subject of a twisted plot by his own obsessive stalker."

Watching this film and listening to its theme songs, it kinda weird and scary...Asking me if I would do anything to make the person I love to fall in love with me? Yeah, I'd definately do. Yeah ofcause, I had been doing that for a long time. But that does not matter now.

At some points, we will realized that both of our hands that used to hold on to something or someone, are need to be free, to let go and use that both hands to hold ourseleves.





Strange and Beautiful : By: Aqualung

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see, lyricstop
And you'll realise that you love me.

Yeah...
Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

Currently listening : Strange and Beautiful By Aqualung Release date: 17 January, 2006

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Everyday Is Sunday Evening

I suddenly woke up automatically today at 8.30 am as I thought it was Saturday that I have to get ready for Italian class, and 8.30 am for Saturday is already late according to my schedules. But no, it is not Saturday but it's Monday. I opened my bed room door and make sure no one is inside the house, then I closed it and I shout the word "FUCKKKKKKK" out loud.


It's Monday already, my weekend gone. Pleaseeeeeeee at least a day off ?

Dude, it totally sucks to be me these days, I work and study 7days/a week. Especially, Wednesday and Thursday is the worst of it. Since I have to get up at 6am on Wednesday and go to class at 8.30am for a boring Pronunciation Class. Then, in the afternoon, the worst class I have ever had in my whole life; 'Listening and Speaking 1'. At 5.00 pm, I will be heading to Wall Street where I got such a good paid job but not so-enjoying-work these days. I got home around 11.30pm and by the time I get ready for work it would be at least 1 am. And the next things I know---

--Here it comes, Thursday, I got up at 6am and have class from 8.30 am until 6pm (Advanced Reading, Psychology, Listening and Speaking-Lab) Friday is alittle better because I have only one subject in the afternoon.

My weekend, I spend my whole Saturday on Italian and a little bit time for a movie in the evening (love you). However, Sunday to Tuesday I work at Wall Street.

This cycle must be repeated at least until the end of December.

It always sad to woke up on Monday and realized that your weekend is gone. Normally, I will just open my eyes and go back to sleep alittle longer , thinking "Ohh, it's Monday already" but today I somehow lose control since I even aware in my sleep that I must not be late for class/work. I am only 19 yso, I think I deserved something a little better than that, at least a day off, but there is no one to blame because it all my choices.

Most people hate Monday morning, but to me—everyday is Sunday evening—when you know that tomorrow sucks and your weekend is a long way to come.

Currently listening : Exile on Mainstream By Matchbox Twenty Release date: 02 October, 2007

11:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Available Seat (next to me)
Category: Romance and Relationships

It funny isn't it, when you are in a relationship, you would feel like you need a little spaces, you will miss a quiet shopping at the book shop, you will miss enjoy the evening  watching ballet or listen to orchestra. Most of all, you will miss the ability to look at cute guys without feeling guilty. You will miss so many things that will lead you to feel like 'fuck our relationship, next time we fight, I'll leave'  I had one of those days.

After break up, for the first few months, I was very happy and was very enjoying my single life. I did everything I wanted to. I enjoyed watching films, dinner, shopping, saw plays and ballet, stayed in the library at the University until late.

However, it went for a couple of months and I got bored, tired of being alone. So I decided to go on dates again.

Going  on a date with guys was difficult, but wasn't sure wether it was a date or just a quick fuck was a disaster. I am not much success on dating guys. I do not know why, but I can never make a guy fallen for me. I do not what is require to make a guy to like you. Most of them will leave after second or third time. I have been through a lot recently, I am not saying I am a better person now. I have been thinking  a lot. Maybe it isn't the right time, or isnt the right guy, or was it because of me. I can't just wait until I find someone that will really like me for who I am, but I am willing to adjust myself to get along with one.

It been more than a year now to be called 'single'. And I started to think of what I used to have, hands to hold, text messages to my cells, picture to be taken with someone, something nice I can do for someone, and someone to do something nice for me. Every places I go, ballet, plays, films, concerts, libary, parks--the seat next to me is available.

I would not mind, if you will just have a seat for a minute or twos. I'm just willing to share.

Currently listening : Why Does It Always Rain on Me By Travis Release date: 13 June, 2000

5:30 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I Know How You Feel...
Current mood: jealous
Category: Writing and Poetry

When you like someone and you thought he feels the same. And you brain is full of non-sense and confuse you. You have no idea what is going on and things are unsure. Then, you keep asking you self, wondering what you are to him. When you later realize that he does not feel the same way as you. That is when he and you agree to be friend. Well, you thought you can handle it and promise to the world that you would think differently about him from then.

Then again, it is hard to forget what was going on. You wonder if there was nothing then why; those sweet words, kisses, Valentine and others "why". That would not make any difference but hurt your self to rethink about it. Then, you started hanging out with him as a friend. But whenever you saw him with someone, you get a strange feeling and it hard to keep the promise you made—to be just friend. The feeling which how much you wish you were the guy he is with. A wondering of what you have not got to be in the place. A reminding to what you used to had, and wishing that it was you who get those touches and kisses. A pain that you have him there, know where he is, but you cannot touch him. All you
can do is holding it inside, not letting anyone know that you have not forgotten any of those "why" he had offered you.

All of those I know how you feel, but there is nothing we can do except accept the pain and move along. It is not your fault that you cannot make him see and feels what you tend to offer. Although, you might think you deserved pain but you are actually deserved something better than that. There must be someone out there who will like you for who you really are. And I know that it hurts to wonder if he would ever looks back at you, because that would be hopeless and disappointed. I know how you feel...

Currently listening : How to Save a Life By The Fray Release date: 20 February, 2007

6:52 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Is It Getting Smaller or Are We Getting Bigger?
Category: Life

I turn off the radio that easy-listening songs were replaced by hip-hop songs from western. It was not that bad because now I know what magic word to split out of my lips when I get angry. A reporter said on the television that war on the middle-east would not be finished soon. I pick up the news paper and a big headline was "teacher rape 12yso std." I do not know when it all went wrong, but I know that it happening all around the world. I guess everybody is going crazy.

On the street, I can see homeless children asking for money just to buy some food. Sometimes their saving is more than what I have in my pocket now. On the sky-train platform, all good gentlemen make their way to be the first to get a seat, you know, man and woman have equal rights, then do not be surprised when you see that. At the restaurant, a couple having lunch together but the lady talking on her cell phone with another person from another side of the world, left her guy talking to his dish. At the corner, a gang of girls having chocolate ice cream and cake while they talking about how fat they are getting, because they want be skinny like a 'celebritard' (celebrity + retarded) Paris Hilton that they see on MTV. I look around and I start to wonder if how many women in here have not been to surgery, I guess that countable. But no matter how much these women love plastic, still they carry leather bag that import from Paris.

Everyone seems to enjoy their life these days. Because of technology but no one seems to notice the negative side of this because it has already become their routine. The world is getting smaller and smaller and it looks like it hard to live in. But we do not have to kill ourselves to stay alive, yet. We do not have to get small like the world. But only if we know how to save a life, know what is real and what is not. And as long as you know how to deal with it, then enjoy the shrinking world. Don't you worry that you will ever get lost like them.

9:41 AM - 2 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Say and Do Before It's Too Late
Category: Blogging

Say and Do, Before It Too Late

I do not know why I am always shy to do nice things for people that love me. It seems to be the hardest thing for me to say "I love you, mom", even on mothers-day. It seems to be the hardest thing to do, to make a cup of coffee for my dad before he goes to work. It seems to be impossible for me to be nice to my brother, because we always fight. The funny thing is that, it seems automatic for me to say "thank you" to a taxi driver, every time before I leave the cab. I have never been shy to do something nice for a person that I have never met before. Is there something wrong with me?

It was the middle of December 2005, I went to school early in the morning, and found one of my classmates was sitting alone crying. Still, I did not bother to ask what was wrong. It might have been another broken-heart situation and I thought perhaps she wanted to be alone. Later that afternoon, a friend of mine mentioned my classmate that I saw earlier, and that she was crying because her father had died. I did not know how it felt, because I have never lost someone that I love.

Two days later, I went to her father's funeral. The experience changed my life; in the moments before her fathers' body was cremated (it is Thai Buddhist tradition to be cremated). The worst feeling I have ever had in my life, was seeing my friend and her mother holding each other and crying. I have never seen anyone cry so much. It was sad and scary at the same time. Come to think of it, it was their last moment to see the body of a person that they had loved and were loved in return. It was the last moment for them to feel the body of a person that they used to hold and be held in return. Soon after, the body of her father was set on fire and burnt. All they have left is ashes and memories of their beloved husband and father, and of course life.

I went home with a terrible feeling. The picture of my friend and her mother holding each other and crying is still in my head. Later that night, I found an excuse to get into my parents bedroom, I said I could not sleep. I asked mom to give me a hug, so she did. I did not want to wait until it was too late, I realized how lucky I was and am. I do not have to wait until I lose them, to feel and express that I love them, because what I felt that night was already too much to bear.

9:58 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Holiday Romance ( A Lot Like Love)
Current mood: cynical
Category: Romance and Relationships

My Life is much more like a movie named "A Lot Like Love". In this case, it called Holiday Romance relationship.

Paul Sprite

 Click this to see A Lot Like Love:This part is the most obviously about Holiday Romance. He came to see her with all the problems he had but all he expect is just someone to talk to. However, she don't even know how to deal with her own life but she is still willing to help him. They both enjoy spending time together, they feel comfortable around each other. The morning came and he had to go--can you notice that she look away out of the car's window, just to hide her sadness about this leaving. All they could do was act cool, but he would never know how much it hurts her inside, and so did she know what was going on with his mind, because they don't speak out, but that because they dont want to ruin their friendship.

Currently listening : Best I Ever Had By Vertical Horizon Release date: 27 November, 2001

7:07 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment