Perhaps, the world is a slightly better place than last blog
So, now there's a new guy about to become the fairly elected leader of the most powerful nation in the world and I, personally, sighed a huge sigh of relief when I knew the results. To me the fact that he, Obama, is black means little to me - anyway for me he's more coffee coloured anyone (black father / white mother) - more importantly he appears currently to be a man with massive determination and someone whose actually offered inspiration to millions in a country where sticking with the "tried and tested" had become the way to exist. Of course I cannot, and will not, ignore the significance of his colour especially in a country where once to a black person meant you were regarded and treated as a sub-human at best and lot else besides as well. In my naive way of looking at things I couldn't care less if a person is black, white, yellow, pink or fucking orange, or gay or straight or lesbian, or Jewish, Catholic, Atheist, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, a woman or man 'cos as I've written in much earlier blogs all those descriptions and catergories encompass two things - we're all human and when we bleed our blood is exactly the same colour, bright red! So, let's see how Obama moves forward and hopefully his intellect will become a powerful tool once again and will allow the world and the people of the USA to benefit from that and prove nowhere needs to be led by a blithering fucking idiot whose only concern is maintaining the status quo and keeping the mega-corporations happy; or kowtowing to the demands, pleas and pressures of some radical / reactionary religious group or radical ideal.
Yesterday I attended the funeral of an old friend of mine, the ex-partner of one of my closest friend's, Rob. I've known this woman since meeting Rob and we'd always had a fiesty relationship but it was also highly respectful. We didn't always agree on everything but she was a talented, astute and compassionate debator. The fact that her and Rob's relationship wasn't always the best thing for either of them didn't sour my relationship with her. So, when he told me last week that she'd died in the most tragic of circumstances, she was found drowned in a local river after going out, apparently, to find one of her pet cats that had gone missing I was like all who knew her, stunned. Added too which she leaves behind their three children aged 12, 6, 5; so the cruelty of life and death has hit them at a really early age. Fortunately all three have a close and deep and loving relationship with Rob so they won't be abandoned to unknowing relatives. This was my second funeral this year; I've also attended two weddings as well, now I'd love to be attending a christianing to complete the circle of life, as I percieve it.
Winter is setting in here, the cost of living is rising, I'm totally skint and worrying about making ends meets. But, I'm not going to give up or be defeated by those circumstances or by my disease which continues to run my body ragged from time to time. Got to keep trying to continue moving forward and upward. My love life goes from strength to strength with Ruth even though 3500 miles and a huge ocean seperate us. Plans are still being made to get her here for as long as possible, next time. In the meantime we both thank the world for the computer, the interweb and most of all Skype - how to reduce communication costs to nil and still have daily visual contact. Saw my children last weekend and went to a gig with Olivia of one of my acts. She wasn't totally sure of them but did agree with me that live they're pretty infectious. Stayed at her new house, the first time ever, and when we got back from the concert it was brilliant to just sit half watching stuff on the tv and drinking wine and chatting about this and that! Got to see Tom as well the next day for an hour or so and admired his latest hairstyle and colouring. On driving home I spent the journey reflecting on how my "little" babies are now fully grown adults with their own personalities and lives to lead. I also basked in the mutual feeling of love that flows between us.
Well, getting the end of this blog. It's a weekend now for doing a mass cook of meals to freeze down for the coming week(s) ahead. Went into the nearest big town today and pottered around and purchased lots of herbs and ingrediants for soups, curries and stews and these will be what I'll be doing once I close here. Plus lots of tasks around the flat which I need to engage in and get on with so it's going to be pretty time for me. That'll be good as it occupies my mind and reduces the missing them feelings I have toward Olivia, Tom and Ruth. Been listening to a massive amount of the Grateful Dead for most of the past two weeks, then switched to Keith Urban when I discovered I had his cd "Days Go By" in a pile of copied cds sent by a good friend ages ago. Rather liked it. Now, as I finish this I'm closing with the predictable fave - The Who, and I'll have them rocking out for the next few hours. Love n peace.
The world’s a slightly madder place than my last blog....
... so we've got economic terror rampaging across the globe and we're realizing that one way or another the average, generally law abiding, decent working or even decent not working person has been seriously shafted again by the few with money. Our governments struggle to bring some economic stability to our countries and the real culprits are getting off scot free, or just about. It is incomprehensible to the vast majority of us, those who still retain some basic common sense. Weren't we not told that you have to have the income to pay for what you're buying especially if it's a house. Where on earth did 125% mortgages come from, what the hell are they about?
Then we have shuffling going on in the British government's cabinet reshuffle where old adverseries are matched up and working together again. I think it's totally sensible move for Brown to have made in bringing back an experienced former minister in the shape of Peter Mandleson. Not a personal Labour fave of mine but I do have some grudging respect for him. The last thing this country needs at the moment is a change Prime Minister or change of government. The concept of Cameron and his cronies leading this country terrifies me, completely.
I see over in America the bail out was finally passed and I read today that Obama is edging further ahead in opinion polls. That's only a good thing in my opinion. The idea of McCain and Palin in the White House together is really a very, very bad cheap horror B movie come to life and here to haunt us. Not a pleasent thought. Due to all the focus on finances I'm giving my personal ones a close looking over to see if there's anything I can do to reduce expenditure generally and eventually overall. Lists need to be made. There's also planning for a visitor who is making an incredible mark on my life, we know who she is without it being necessary for her to be named. Yes, lots of talking on the 'phone and on skype (when it's working correctly at either end) and at the moment one of the finest things is that we always find something to laugh about together. It could an event that's happend to one of us, or a topic in the news that's caught our eye. Anything really can set us of.
There's been a posting by someone I subscribe to Madge I'm.... where she blogs about internet meeting and dating and her sceptisism towards it. Now I'm not going to reply to her on here I just thought I'd raise it as blog that was thought provoking for me considering my personal circumstances. I look at that life throws all sorts of opportunities at each and everyone of us and I think we should take them when they're offered. Now I am feeling as if I'm reawaking again, coming back to life after a long period where it seems as if I just sleep walked through nearly a decade. There's also a maturity inside of me which I didn't have earlier as I was younger. There's also experiences, good ones and bad ones, over that period and now I feel that I'm reinhabiting the right place for me and I'm enjoying as much as I can. Having someone to share those moments of laughter with is, I believe, the basic trick. Reading one of Marissa's recent blogs she recounts her husband running around impersonating a bat aand the laughter that came with it. Laughing with your partner, no matter how you met them, or wherever they are now, is so crucial to keeping a relationship happy and moving forward. And at the moment, I'M HAPPY
....back for another blog though I'm intending for this one to be less serious than this morning's blast at the world! I've had a great, gentle but productive day today doing very little actually but it does include a good walk up to the "farm shop" and then back around town for other groceries. Today I set out to buy as much from smaller retailers, or independants so the meat and cheese came from the farm shop, all my veg from a local green grocer and it was only the wine, coffee and chocolate that I bought from Tesco's. This makes me pleased with myself; I'll check on line later and compare prices to see if I saved money or not and if so where and how. I also got the added bonus of exercise with the walking because I estimate by the time I got in I'd probably walked around 3 miles. Not much, but enough to have me in a gentle pant and a bit hot, so to speak and I feel the better for it even though my feet did give me quite a bit of gyp at times.
Now I've checked out a recipe for my main meal this evening, slow roasted joint of belly port on a bed of onions, carrots and turnips which will then roast themselves in the port fat, well that's the plan. With this I intend to have mushroom creamed kale, or maybe just kale with butter and pepper. Currently I have The Who's debut album, My Generation, playing in the background. released and to me it is revolutionary in the sound now as it was then back in December '65. Though at the time they weren't as quite on my musical radar as some other acts, or sounds, in particular the bluesy sound of the Stones, especially Little red Rooster, or some blue beat like Millie's My Boy Lollipop or the emerging sound of Motown which really caught my attention. I followed / listened to loads of things over the next three or four years and eventually The Who, in my mind, beat all other opposition completely and hand's down. They were / are really a boys band, a gang and it seemed then, and to a degree now, that Townshend just completely verbalised and wrote about how I was feeling myself over those formative teenage years. It carried on into adulthood and has remained ever since but also Townshends skills and that of his fellow Who members are now joined, for me, by Springsteen who seems to captured my feelings, and the essence of me, as I've grown older and matured. Had children, got the mortgage, common things and still hoping that a dream can exist, never giving up. Who'd have thought (no pun intended) that 40 + years later acts like The Who, The Stones, Beatles, Pink Floyd, The Dead, Led Zeppelin, Dylan etc, etc are still listened to in their thousands and not just by oldies, or silver surfers but kids as well. When their first songs were being written and rehearsed, played live, recorded and released did they the composer(s) and / or band envisage that their success would span generations, decades and centuries.
Of course all the act I've named are / were past their prime but who cares, really? I certainly don't and with some of them I would go and pay homage and others I wouldn't cross the road to see. But, all of them and then those that followed like the Clash, Bob Marley, Springsteen, The Jam, have added further riches with some great material of their own. It all goes on and progresses and I still get a thrill and chill from all sorts of music at all different times. Like in this morning's blog I wrote about listening to some jazz and how that refelcted how I felt then well the same is being generated now listening to The Who and their debut album. Music conjures up images, real ones and fictious ones, our's or the writers, but we have associations with the song, the sound, the music through something that we were doing, or who we were / are with, or where we were at a particular time on hearing a song for the first time.
I first heard Hendrix's "Hey Joe" in a cafe around the corner from the old public swimming pool in Middlesborough, Teeside where I'd been swimming with cousin Paul and now we'd called in for bacon sandwiches and piping hot tea. Now whenever I here him and that song I am instantly smelling that cafe, the steamy swirling heat, and the scent of stale tobacco smoke along with tea and bacon sarnie. Happens everytime and is as rich each time as the actual event is remembered to have been. Dylan's "Mr Tamborine Man" heard in the study of a friend's school boarding house and the Housemaster walking past giving my friend and I a knowing look that said, "oh I see, better keep an eye this pair". Which over the following term he did do until I was barred from visiting my friend. The ironic thing though is that it was my friend playing me Dylan for the first time and not me taking it in for him! Then there was Kelly's record shop which I think was managed by a girl called Pam who seemed to take a shine to us all, even though we knew she had a boyfriend. But it was her just playing whatever we wanted to hear, or something she thought we'd like. Such treasure revealed - the blues, you know proper blues not just white boy blues, but the real deal, Stax and Wilson Picket and then some country, classical and opera and lot's of show soundtracks. Nothing was ignored but some sounds were dominant over others. Add this to the staples then you've got an idea where I was spending a lot of my time, and money.
Time for me to sign off but I will add before closing that songs still come along now and become intrinsically memorized with actual events. That's certainly the case for me at the moment with the "juke box" I have going off in my head when I think of what was heard when Ruth was visiting. It's still pretty real and the list too long to be revealed here, yet. Going to get on with the cooking now.
........you know what and we'll be the ones still standing in it when it settles as well . While the big boys, the CEO's, the "I'm really god's younger brother" kinda folk have scuttled away in their Range Rovers, and customized Mercs, to hide away while the rest of us buckle down or suffer or perhaps even both. And they will still be making money, coining in the dollars, pounds, euros as they play curriences off against one another and shift their stocks from that company to a hedge fund or something else I don't fully understand, or know much about. But I do know it's fucking pissing me right off! What right have they, worldwide, to do this other people and for what reason? Profits, but their profitting is from us, you and I where we've been sucked in by the dreams - "have, have, need, need, want, want" - bullshit marketting leading the way and us all following like lost fucking sheep.
Politicians obvoiusly carry some of the blame as well, but regardless of where one stands politically at the moment, left, right, centre ground, I don't think it really matters and I don't they're totally to blame. Bankers, investors, wheeler dealers, the really successful and clever ones, having been doing all their lives, they know the system, the procedures. So, they know how to goven it and also know how it can be abused and this is where I think the government needed (certainly needs now) tighter control and regulation. We've all I think been caught in a web which we've not really wanted to question, or be brave enough to do so without fearing the rest of world consider you barking mad and howling at the moon. Now it's us who are left standing holding the pot, and it's likely to be fucking empty pretty soon if it isn't already!
With all the financial comings and goings this week I've not paid much attention to anything else "news" or media so I'm a bit behind with US elections and what they, McPain and Obama, are rattling on about - or not! I know here Gordon Brown is under continual pressure / fire / bullshit to resign which I think would a stupid thing for this country for him to do so at the moment. For God's sake he was our chancellor, a very successful and prudent one at that, for ten years or something before getting the PM-ship, so if anyone understands money and finances I think it's him and it won't involve a pile more faceless civil servants and / or faceless back benchers fucking around for their own limited aspirations. Let's not have the Labour party tear themselves apart while financial markets are wobbling because if the Tories (and the Republicans in USA) get in then I believe the ordinary "Joe" will suffer a great deal more. To me this is common sense, thought, and collecting the facts together as they are and having my understanding of them.
For the past two / three days the weather here has been pretty damn good, sunshine quite a bit and temps to the top 60's early 70'sf which is nice. The swallows are still around but by the looks of them their numbers are decreasing so the first ones are off migrating to warmer climes. But as was said in a conversation yesterday with someone, "they (the swallows), don't know what bloody time of year it is anymore, or where to go if they did!" So, I'm glad they're still here but know they must go sometime soon, but fear the conversation was / is true more and more these days. I've had a morning of downloading new programmes onto the laptop which took an eternity so continued reading the autoboigraphy of Nick Mason, Pink Floyd's drummer, which is great even though it's a re-read (I still pick up new bits). The music I wanted had to be reflective of my mood so I started with Charlie Mingus "Mingus Ah Hu" which was perfect tinkling from the speakers in my lounge as shots on sunshine would come through the still drawn curtain. It gave me time to process something of the opinions I've voiced earlier. Blimey, thinking before opening my mouth, LOL, that's a change! Things must be serious. To follow Mingus I wanted something else in the jazzy vein but more modern so landed upon the Pat Metheny Trio "Live" which has continued the ambience I've tried to create but is also pushing at the edges as well. Just as I want. Some Metheny I think can be real hard work but over all I really think he's worth listening to; a man of many styles and techniques who always has some fucking incredible "sidemen" with him.
Life's moving along as best it can under the current circumstances, work is good and I'm busy and it's keeping me occupied, on my toes and more to the point making some money. The children seem fine which is always great. In the post this week I recieved from Ruth a most amazing bound photo album she'd put together of her trip here and the time we had together. There's little slogans or messages and tiny stick on penguins scattered throughout and around the photos. The photos themselves are brilliant and inspire much gentle warmth and happiness when looking through ~ remembering this that and the other from our time together. No-one has ever sent me such a wonderful (surprise) gift and once I've finished tidying the lounge bookshelves it'll go up there where it's to get to. Hopefully in the not too distant future we'll be able to take somemore photos together for another album!! Right it's time for me to sign out for now. Cheers N xx
Currently
listening
:
Trio Live
By
Pat Metheny Trio
Release date: 2000-11-21
Not been here for a while but been keeping an eye on the other bloggers. Also, in my opinion, made the terrible mistake yesterday of taking a look at the "most popular" blogs and have to say I was shocked and terrified by many of them. A lot of them seemed to be going on about the US election campaigns and especially the Republican party and how they, the McPalin's, are going to save America and then the rest of world. The level of vitriolic passion was so fucking scary. I'm sorry folks but who said that the USA should be the world's police force? Shouldn't you be putting your own house in order before starting to tell the rest of the world how to live? Please recognize that for some, perhaps a lot of us, we don't want everything homogenized, and the same, we don't want or need to be the slaves of mammon and the CEO's of multi-corporations who are making millions and millions of bucks on the backs of the workers as they force their product on us around the rest of the world. Neither do I wish to be told, or forced to believe, that there's only one true religion in the world worth worshipping. For fucks sake Buddhism, Sikhism, Paganism, etc, etc and of course the worship of Allah have been around as long or even longer than Christianity. Do we need a return to the days of the Inquisitions, it seems for some that is the direction they want their country and then the rest of world to take. Somewhere I've read that Persia, now Iraq and Iran, was the cradle of civilisation, where the first scholars and teachers originated. Now are some of the possible, prospective leaders and rulers of the USA wanting to wipe that place of the face of the earth and re-write it all to their blue print?
I watch the campaigns with such interest because I truly love America, the people there, the geographical texture and natural beauty, even the wide eyed innocence of so many people that I've met there. But never before have I ever thought that anyone was really, really fucking stupid. Over twenty plus years of travelling there, and not just as a tourist, I love the place. I have a number of incredibly dear and important and special friends who are American's. For fucks sake I'm enjoying right now a deep, emotional, tender and loving relationship with an American woman and she brings much sunshine to my life. When my day comes with each new rising sun my first thoughts are always of her. Please don't think I've been saying I'm better, or we're better as none-Americans or as Europeans. Somewhere in the "good book" it's says God created all men equal. Surely the simplicity of that message is born out by the totally plain and simple fact that when any of us bleed ALL our blood is exactly the same colour, red. There's no varient, no change. I don't know if I have a God in the common sense and understanding of the word but I do know that I believe that there is, or was, a higher power something much better, greater and wiser than me. I don't need a message being rammed down my throat that one person's God is better than another's no matter what name or title has been given. We all bleed blood, red blood. If, and I don't wish this upon her or anyones son, child, or next of kin, Palin's son should be killed in Iraq his blood will be exactly the same colour, and texture, as that of the person who killed him. Red.
I had a another of my mini-close calls with mortality myself this week when I got stung by a wasp and then had a severe allergic reaction which did result in my being rushed to hospital. It was the same sort of reaction people with nut allergies etc, etc, get and I've got to say it scared the living daylights out of me. But I survived and now know that I need to have the necessary precautions around to aid me should it happen again. What else - well the weather here has been total and utter shit with rain, rain, rain constantly but at least today it seems to be both dry and warm, for a change. Work is going great, my RA seems to be under control. My affair, and love for Ruth goes from strength to strength and all we both want, I think, is her here as soon as possible. We'll deal with hurdles life may throw at us when she arrives and we'll do it together. Right, that's enough from me for now. Love and peace to you all.
Currently
listening
:
Great Unravel Release date: 2008-07-29
Whereas a year or so ago I was on here reading and blogging daily, sometime multipuly (sp), these days I seem to prefer to be "here" from the sidelines and not participate or comment as much as I did. I still read all my fave bloggers, Ruth, Marissa, Gypsy, Madge etc, etc, and from time to time will appear and say something. Today I've read blogs by all four ladies above and it was informative to get four completely different topics, styles, opinions and homilies come through. The wonder of our differences, their differences shining through; further confirmation as to why the human species is a fascinating creature.
All is well for me, I think the swallows are getting ready to be heading off to warmer climes in the not too distant future. Further proof, perhaps, for me that the weather here has been pretty shitty for ages. Makes me glad that when Ruth came visiting in May / June she probably got the UK at it's best this year weather wise. I recall we only had a couple of crappy weather days all the time she was here. Now plans are being laid for her to get back across in December which we decided on last night and this morning I awoke and that was my first thought once my brain engaged. It made me / makes me feel great! There's a lot for me / her / us to do respectively between now and then but I know we're both up to it.
Getting here then means there's every likelyhood she'll get to experience a British winter which should help round out her climatic experience and picture of this country. At the moment the current "joke" between us is that it's always raining here and I try not to get too drawn when it happens. Lot's to be thinking about and planning for; now the difficult bit is going to be keeping the excitement contained until she arrives!
Moving onto other things I see the Team GB are doing rather well at the Olympics and as usual the journalists are spouting their personal opinions and still finding things to whine, complain and moan about. It does piss me off, when did "reporting / reportarge" evolve into the opinion of the journalist becoming more important than what they're meant to be reporting and telling us about. It was a sad day for us all when that happened. You know it not only takes place with sport but with everything in our daily lives. I am begining to believe that all this constant "news information" does actually have a detrimental effect - we're told there's a credit crunch on the way because we're not spending money, so what fucking happens, we stop spending even more! I could go on for ages about this as I don't think it's the first time I've aired these gripes.
Technology these days is amazing but I think we all need, at times, to resist it's influence and the way it can literally take over ourlives. Computers don't sleep, whereas we need to. I know it's possible for someone to contact me 24/7 - 365 so I take care to keep what control I have in my hands. It's now possible for me to work from anywhere and most people wouldn't be any the wiser as to if I'm sitting in my office, my lounge, my kitchen or on the beach or halfway around a Yorkshire dale. That's the way I like it and as long as I maintain the control it works very well for me. Which is why, usually, if I see my office number come up on my cell 'phone after a certain time each weekday, and over w/ends, I usually just let it go to ansaphone and will listen at my convenience, not the callers!
Time to sign off for now as work to be done, and plans to be made, laid and put into practice. Onward and upward; love n peace.
Currently
listening
:
Love Box
By
Groove Armada
Release date: 2003-01-21
For a period of time I've used my blogging as a sort of personal therapy, as a way to get stuff of my chest, to release my personal and emotional frustrations. Of late I've not been doing it that much, perhaps there's a peace settled over me but there again perhaps not. The world has continued to revolve without me having to contribute much. The places that were fucked up months ago are still the same, the people who were fuckers are still the same, they've not changed just been joined by somemore arseholes. Now, it seems half the world, perhaps more, are getting ready to sit and be enthralled by the Olympic Games from Bejing and I wonder in my head how many in that massive audience actually give a thought, or a flying fuck, that here is China - the country with probably one of the worst records for respecting human rights - trying to wash itself clean, publicly and we will sit there and clap and gasp at the feats and achievements of thousands of atheletes. Our fat arses spread across our couches, with a few six packs of beer lying around, and more in the fridge, and a side table laden with snacks to sate our appetites while, probably, somewhere in China another family is homeless, displaced to make way for the "Bird Nest" stadium or starving because they've not enough money to buy food locally because everything in their region has been taken to Bejing to feed the starving, ravenous, tourists and Olympic fans. Or another thief, murderer or rapist is taken outside and shot without much of a trial preceeding them. Now, don't jump on my back and accusse (sp) me of condoning any of these awful crimes as I most certainly am not - but for me a thief should get a sentence that reflects the severity of their crime and as for rapists and murderers well just lock the bastards away in the most miserable and uncomfortable manner as possible i.e give them a bed, feed them three times a day and then throw the fucking key away, don't let them have access to television, or radio or other human company, just leave them there to die a slow, miserable life before their own death allowing them to reflect upon what they did. For me capital punishment, whatever the crime, is not the answer for a civilised world or society.
In my personal world I went to a friend's wedding the other week and met up with a lot of my work contempories, guys and girls who do and have done what I do, for years and years. Many of them are now millionaires and so they should be if they're representing clients like Robbie Williams, Kylie Minough, Coldplay, James Blunt, etc, etc but at the end of the day they're still pretty much the same and I had a wonderful time and the bride and groom were fantastic and I think they had a brilliant day with their wedding in a gorgeous little ancient church and then the reception held at an exclusive and private country club. Crossing paths with these friends again after many, many years was great and for me inspirational and instead of coming away feeling like a failure, which is how I'd have been not so long ago, I left feeling pretty damn good with myself and believing that there's still a lot of potential left in me work and life wise. It would've been nice to have had Ruth there with me, especially as she met the groom when she visited here a while back but it wasn't to be, this time. I think of her everyday, her smile and laughter and it just makes me feel fucking great. We talk practically everyday, as well as emailing all the time as well, and I'll say here thank God for Skype, what a brilliant facility. We can Skype for hours on end and see one another via webcams which brings us closer. Not as close, of course, as if we were together in the same place at the same time but certainly better than having to rely upon snail mail and everything associated with old time long distance romances. Suppose one of the best things is that we do seem to just laugh a huge amount of the time. I think everytime we talk, no matter how serious we can get (and we do), we always manage to have at least one moment where we're giggling uncontrollably which is so brilliant and wonderous.
My new medication, Infliximab, appears to be working wonders and making my life physically much easier and a lot of my aches and pains caused by my RA disease are tolerable. Though at the minute I am suffering from a fucked Achilles tendon, which I did at Glastonbury, and it's not healing as quickly as I'd like so I'm hobbling around a bit as it mends. I see Bruce Springsteen is knocking them dead in the States now as he tours there. Some of the set lists that I've read about on his website are making me salivate with desire to have seen them being played and it's such a bummer that I haven't and won't be able to. But, at least I got to see him here in December and then again in May and on that occassion with Ruth who I believe was amazed at just how stunning the guy and the band are when they're perfoming live. Well, for the time being I've run out of things to write about and to bore you all with so I'm off now to get on with my Saturday as I wait now to talk with Ruth, baby, sometime today. Love n peace to y'all.
chipper
