Avoiding suffering doesn't always bring happiness

I have found recently that many people live life to avoid suffering. What many of us don't realize is that suffering is often part of the road to happiness so in avoiding suffering we also avoid happiness.

8:17 PM - 2 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

blog

I need a new place to do my blogs. china is starting to block this site. Any suggestions.

3:19 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Meeting Rachel¡¯s mom

Interesting circumstances that I care not explain allowed for me to meet Rachel¡¯s mom. I am surprised Rachel let this happen because this is a big step for her. Usually a couple is about to become engaged when this happens. But this was a informal meeting of sorts. So maybe it didn't have the same meaning. I met her without Rachel being there. We talked for about an hour and a half all in Chinese. Of which I didn't understand everything. But I learned a lot of Chinese words. We talked a lot about Rachel. Her mom was very friendly and hospitable to me the man dating her daughter which is rare for a Chinese mother of an only child, especial female one. I can tell Rachel has told her many good things about me. Her mother was very accepting of me. Rachel talked with her mom afterward and said she think her mom liked me a lot.

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About my girlfriend

As most of you know I am dating a Chinese girl.  It is serious but waiting.. Meanwhile we are building a good foundation and hoping to understand as many cultural barriers as we can so that we can be as prepared as possible. I will hopefully starting a job soon working for a foreign managed property management company. I am considering using this to get me into doing property management and real estate development here in Beijing. 

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XinHaoNanRen
Current mood: loved

They have this term here in China 'XinHaoNanRen' which translated directed means 'new good man'. There was a couple that visited here over the May holiday they have here. The girl told me I fit this title. I don't drink, smoke. I get up early and go to bed early. In general, I try to be a good person. Last night I mentioned to a chinese girl I have become good friends with whose English name is Rachel and given name is Zhang Xiaobo. She said that there was no man that was truly a 'new good man' according to the high standard it represents. I think in my head if only she knew Gordon B. Hinckley.

    It is sad to see the decline of morals in this country. Ironically historically Chinese are very moral. As wealth entered the country so did immorality. Most of the immorality is coming from America. They want to be like Americans. Friends and Sex in the City are popular here. They think it is common for Americans to talk about sex openly like in Friends and sleep around like the characters supposedly do in Sex in the City. But then there are still many who are very traditional in their perspective having been raised by goodly parents.

My friend Rachel is one of those traditional girls. She always dreamed of being friends with her first boyfriend for a year before officially dating. Actually it is common for traditional chinese to know each other for a long time before marriage and never do anything immoral during that long friendship and courtship. They tend not to express their love so openly in speech or through physical affection while in the getting-to-know-you phase and after marriage only doing so in the solitude of each others presense. Love seems to be something though less romantic that they feel deep inside them. Rachel has never seen her parents kiss or show affection but she knows her parents love each other deeply.

    One man put it to me this way: When you are young you say I love you to express it. When you are older you never say but you show through your actions. When you are too old to do anything, you just feel it deep inside and your eyes convey the deepest messages of love.

    I have seen this love myself a few times here. I once saw a very old couple walking down the street holding hands leaning on each other. They both looked too old to walk alone without the help of the other. You could see a love radiating from them that they had for each other.

    Reflecting on these ideas I think about the type of person I want to be. I hope I can become the type of man that my wife and children one day can say that I am a 'new good man'.

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New Temple in Cebu my mission to be built

New Temple Announced in Cebu, Philippines 29 April 2006

CEBU, Philippines ¡ª A new temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will be built in Cebu, Philippines, it was announced this week. It will be the second temple for the Church in the Philippines. There has been a temple in Manila since 25 September 1984. There are over half a million members of the Church in the Philippines, with more than 1,000 congregations. Church leaders say the new temple will be very significant for members in the central and southern parts of the archipelago who will no longer have to travel the long distance to Manila. The newly announced temple is the 132nd temple of the Church that is operating, announced or under construction. (See official temple list.)

I only discovered this today while browsing church news. I couldn't help crying for joy. This people have struggled so much not having a temple. For many of them it would take years to save of the money to go to Manila for the temple especially if they took their whole family to get sealed. I am still crying now. I now want to save up money to go to the dedication and open house.

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Culture of health

Chinese think health and living a long time is very important. People here exercise and stay often into their old age. As long as they can still walk they will and often they will go farther than you think is possible for them. Even if they need a cane or a walker, they will walk. In the parks there are exercise toys to help them do calistetics and some are gymnastic in nature. Though the older generations are fit they don't do competive sports in general except maybe badminton or pingpong. They are proud of there fit old bodies. In one of my classes, I started a discussion on what the students wanted to do before they died. One said he wanted to exercise everyday and stay fit. I asked why and he told me he needed to stay healthy and alive so he could be there and able for his family as long as he could.

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Matrilineal society in China

I found this and thought I would share for those who are interested.

The Mosuo are one of China's least-known minorities, yet also one of the most unique and fascinating. Their culture has aspects of matriarchal and matrilineal systems, they practice Tibetan Buddhism, and perhaps are best known for the fact that they don't practice marriage (women instead choose and change partners as they please). They live high in the Himalayan Mountains, on the border of Yunnan and Sichuan provinces, close to the border with Tibet.
At this talk, Mr. Lombard will give an introduction about Mosuo culture, the challenges facing the Mosuo, and some of the projects that the association is doing to
help the Mosuo. These include a project to develop a written language (right now, their language is only oral), support and improve education, and work with local leaders to preserve Mosuo culture, and promote awareness of the Mosuo in other areas. Whether you are interested in learning about a very unique culture, or are interested to know more about non-profit work/opportunities in China, this session should prove both interesting and informative. For further information, see: www.mosuoproject.org

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Sand storms in Beijing

Well a interesting thing happened. Yesterday morning I woke up to a layer of orangish brown dust covering everything. Well, as many of you know Beijing is located very close to the Gobi desert. It is rare that this heavy of a sand storm blows in. But it is often very dusty here. In fact sandstorm is a option for the weather forcast. So the night before last we must have got an atrocious sandstorm. Then last night I was out with friend after teaching and it started lightly sprinkling. The rain came down as mud the air was so full of dust. It looked like mud was sprinkled on your clothes.

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email copy
Current mood: calm

Well I wrote a email to my friend Celest who was over here during the summer. So I wanted to share with those anxious to here from me.(Jillena wink wink.)

    My mandarin is getting pretty good but I have a lot still to learn. I went through levels. At first no one understood anything I said and I didn't understand them much either(You were still here then). Then I focused on pronouciation because my teacher in Seattle didn't really teach us how to pronouce things well. Now my pronouciation is very good. But I still work on perfecting it. From that point everyone says "your chinese is hen hao(very good)". But anyone that can say ni hao with any ability is told that. Then people started saying my mandarin is "Ting hao" and I had to ask what that meant. Ting is just a little stronger very than hen is. Later they started saying my mandarin was "hen bang". Again I had to find out what that meant. "Bang" meant more like great than good. Now they started saying that I speak "lihai". When I recently asked what that means I was told that it meant excellent.

    When talking with the taxi driver on the way to church on Sunday I just told him the name of the building which is what I often do. The map is not necessary anymore. After conversing a while, he told me that I spoke really well. He then went on to tell me about all the foreigners that spoke really poorly. Then he said that there was this one foreigner that was really good. He supposedly studied in Taiwan. I asked him how long he was in Taiwan. He said between 2 and 3 years. I can only assume he was a RM from Taiwan. My mandarin really isn't as good as I hoped it would be by now.

    Actually they have us spending a lot of time traveling for work. You might leave before 7 and get home after 6 and only get 4-6 hours of actual teaching. So I haven't had time to do a lot of studying. So I am looking for a different job. You remember how much our job paid. It was a little over $6. Actually you were making almost $9. But there are jobs here that pay $25/hour teaching english. So of course I am still in the same apartment. But maybe not for long.

    The weather is interesting. We were still getting 70 degrees in October. But by November it barely ever got over freezing. Now it is warming up finally. I am tired of wearing long johns. It is very dry. It has snowed a few times. But it very light. It snowed on New years eve and SuperBowl Monday. Actually it snowed just this last Satuday. But only once did it stick around long.

    I think I am going to stay here a long time. At least long enough to get very good at Mandarin. If I get a better job I will have more time for study and I hope to take some classes. In the interest of finishing my degree, I might study at one of the very good universities here. But first I have to really improve my Mandarin ability. I have made friends with a older couple. They have offered for me to attend Ohio State and they would let me live with them for free. So I am considering that offer. But odds are I will just stay here. I feel very inspired to be here. I guess it is something I pray about frequently so I can be inspired in case there is other options that the Lord would have me consider.

    Dating here has been difficult. But I had a lot still to get over when you were here. I think there is still a bit to overcome. So I guess that I still have to consider timing. Besides there is a lack datable girls here. Most of the YSA are guys, great odds for a girl and Andrea is dragging about 10 more guys here this summer. All probably think they have some chance with her. Sister Coleman made it very clear to me that her daughter might be coming here for the summer in a hint-hint way. Honestly thats a complement to me that she would want me to consider dating her daughter even knowing my background( I told them about it).

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