Cinderella

This week, a well known christian artist lost his five year old adopted daughter in an accident on their property.  It seems that his teenage son was backing out of the driveway and didn't see his sister and hit her with his SUV.  I can't imagine the grief. 

What do you say when things like this happen.  This is a family who has been serving God faithfully for years.  Their oldest daughter just got engaged, and she has been doing missions overseas for a few years now.  Their two sons play with dad's band, and they have adopted three lovely little girls from China.  They founded an organization to help other families with adoption.

Life just doesn't make sense sometimes.  Steven Curtis Chapman recently released a song he wrote about his daughters and not missing the "cinderella" moments, when his little girls dress up as princesses and want to dance.  He said God showed him that in those moments, he shouldn't be worried about what needs to be done, and the deadlines and bedtime.  He should just dance with his daughters because in the blink of an eye, they'll be gone.  And now Maria is gone.

You can't say, "It will all be okay."  Their five year old is gone.  You can't say, "God had a plan for this." Their five year old is gone.  It won't all be okay, and God did not plan for this to happen.  I don't know what to say when things like this happen.  All I know is that when life doesn't make sense, God is still faithful.  I hope that the Chapman family can take comfort in their and Maria's savior. 

"Cinderella" (Steven Curtis Chapman - This Moment)

She spins and she sways to whatever song plays,
Without a care in the world.
And I'm sittin' here wearin' the weight of the world on my shoulders.
It's been a long day and there's still work to do,
She's pulling at me saying "Dad I need you!
There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I'd approve of a dress
She says "Dad, the prom is just one week away,
And I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy, please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
She will be gone.

Well, she came home today
With a ring on her hand
Just glowin' and tellin' us all they had planned
She says "Dad, the wedding's due six months away
And I need to practice my dancin'"
"Oh please, daddy please!"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song,
(even one song)
Cuz all to soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

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Breakout

8:36 PM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

36 1/2 weeks.

I went to the doctor today.  It's always fun to meet a new doctor while you are sitting on a table naked.  Anyway, it turns out I'm already dialated a couple of centimeters.  That doesn't necessarily mean I'll deliver sooner or anything.  It just means that I'm progressing.  They did a strep b swab, which I'll find out results from at my next appointment, I guess.  Toby is pointed head down, which is good.  He could do what Nate and Sabrina's daughter did and turn at the last minute, freaking us all out and making it more stressfull, but that's unlikely.

So Toby is just about ready to be born.  Are we really ready for him to be born?  It's hard to believe that we'll be responsible for this little guy (outside of the womb, I mean) in about a month.  We don't even have his room finished yet!

We do, however, have clothes for him for when he is born.  If he grows quickly, we'll have to scramble to keep up.  But till he gets bigger than teeny tiny, we've got him covered. 

I just finished my gift registries, so maybe he will end up being clothed a little more as he grows.  At least I think they're finished.  We registered on Target.com and snootybootydiapers.com.  With the diapers, I plan to buy more of the ones I like as he grows.  Since I haven't been around a whole lot of cloth diapering mothers, I don't know what we'll like and what we won't.  Besides, they vary from kid to kid.  And I guess I can sell or trade them online if I don't like these particular dipes. 

Just saw what time it was.  I gotta go get Nathan from work now. 

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Stream of Consiousness

I'm hungry.  The smell of fries in the hub is enticing.

I went to the OB today.  The LPN told me I have PUPPS.  That is a harmless rash that itches like crazy.  I looked it up online and found out that apparently less than one percent of women get it.  Lucky me.

It's ten after six.  I go to eat with Nathan in about an hour.  I'm starving now.  I think I'll go to Wendy's and get some chilli or something in a few minutes. 

I feel really unpretty right now.  I wish I were one of those women who feel all beautiful and empowered during pregnancy.  I just feel ugly.  I know in my head that's not true.  It doesn't help.

It's been raining for two days.  I like it.  Except for the basement water I had to walk in at the hospital parking garage.  That was not fun.  I like the rain.  It makes me feel like curling up with a cup of tea and reading a book.  Or maybe I feel like jumping in puddles or something.

4:20 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Be proud of me!

I am posting a blog without first being asked! 

First of all, I apologize to my friends who have had harrowing weeks and I did not know about it and could not comment till today.  Sarah and Tanya especially. 

You may need our new address.  If so, it is: 

515 Water St.                                                                        

Carthage, Tn  37030

If not, that was my nifty way of telling you that we closed on our new house last Friday and moved in on Saturday!

We've had a few homeowner's experiences already (water all over our kitchen floor on a Sunday morning before church), but with help everything will be okay soon.  We have so much work to do; painting, switching out cords on the appliances, fixing the broken water line on our kitchen sink.  However, it's rewarding work because it's work on OUR HOUSE!  I'm a bit excited in case you can't tell.

Baby Toby is fine.  He likes to kick and roll over, which makes me laugh (it feels funny).  He is due to come out in about two months. Hopefully we'll have his room ready by then.

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Monthly Baby Blog?

Sorry.  Hopefully I'll do better with pictures and things like that after he's born.  Somehow I doubt it. 

Toby (Tobias Miles Greenhalge) is getting bigger.  I can feel him turn over and kick my ribs and organs (painful stuff).  The doc says I'm doing fine, and so is he.  I know this is true, because I've been getting hungrier and more uncomfortable.  I'm told these are signs of a healthy child.   

Last time I went to the doctor (last week), I had a glucose tolerance test done.  Since I haven't heard anything from them, I am assuming that it came back fine.  Lucky thing, since I almost passed out on the way to the lab to get blood drawn.  They had to take me in a wheelchair.  So embarrassing!

In other news, we are set to close on our new house next Friday (the 28th).  As far as we know, everything has gone through with that and there should be no problems.  It's so exciting to know that we will have a permanent place to live!  We are so blessed by this house, and so thankful that God has brought us to a place that we love so much. 

I get to paint in my own home for the first time in my life!  When I was growing up, we were never allowed to paint our rooms or anything because the houses we lived in belonged to the churches my dad pastored.  We always left the house exactly as we found it, except cleaner.  I've been going nuts with designing and decorating ideas.  I can't wait to make this house our own.   

I'm off to shop for registries and pack some more.

7:27 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Babies, homes, and everything in between

Okay.  Sorry I haven't updated about Toby or anything else recently.  Our compy died about a month ago, and it has been hard to get to a computer in the labs or hub with my schedule. 

Toby is doing fine.  I can feel him kicking now (especially when I drink a Dr. Pepper or cup of tea), but Nathan can't yet.  I have a Dr. appointment on Monday, so I'll know more then.  As of last month, I have lost four pounds since becoming pregnant.  That was better than the month before, when the count was -6.  I'm not worried about it because Dr. Beyer isn't worried about it.  I'll gain weight eventually.  I am starting to pop out a little with the belly.  I'm beginning to look pregnant instead of just chunky.  That's a nice thing.  I hated that stage of people not being able to tell.

We got a big box of diapers from a woman I found online.  I am so excited about using them!  I know I'm a nerd about all of this, but I really am excited about cding (cloth diapering). 

In other news, we went to the bank today to finish our paperwork for the house loan.  Our loan officer said she didn't see any reason for us not to get the loan since Nathan's credit is so good (how in the heck did that happen?).  We could be moved in by October!  That is really exciting.  We talk every weekend about how much we hate living in Nashville and can't wait to get out.  It's hard to believe that it may actually happen soon.  Please pray that God will have his hand in this.  We know that it could be a disaster if we aren't careful, and we don't have the best track record of that. 

Watching the kids start school makes me wish I had a second chance at some of this.  I definitely would have done so many things differently if given the opportunity.  I guess that's why I'm a mentor to them now, though - to make sure they know the things I didn't.  I am glad to have that opportunity, and I wouln't trade all the mistakes I made for the chance I have now. 

Goodbye for now, friends and family.

9:17 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Pastoral Letters

I have spent the last couple of days reading the pastoral epistles of Paul (1st and 2nd Timothy and Titus).  They have provided much encouragement.  Coupled with the night of brokeness and prayer I had Tuesday on my way home from work, I feel much better about my current situation.  Here are the thoughts I jotted down while reading:

First Timothy

Chapter 1

Verse 5 "The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a cood conscience and a sincere faith."

Let my aim be love.  Love of Christ and love of people.  Let me remember that I don't do this for recognition or authority, but for the passion for ministry God has placed within me and the ministry he has called me to.

V6-7 "... Wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions."

Let me not become distracted by vain discussion, but remain focused on a love of God and scripture.  Help me, Lord, to not miss the point.

CH2

v 1-4 "First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people., for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.  This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth."

Help me to pray for those in my circle of influence, and those in authority over me (whether I want to or not).

v8 "I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling."

May our church finally be able to do this freely.  Lord, help me to be one who encourages this practice, not hindering relationships, but upholding them.  Reign my tongue when it needs to be silent, and loosen it when I need to speak.  Help me to speak encouragement rather than complaint, and help me to not be afraid to speak up when I know I should.

Chapter4

v12 "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers and example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."

Chapter 5

v25 "So also good works are conspicuous, and even those that are not cannot remain hidden."

Ch6

v 12  "Fight the good fight of the faith.  Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

Even in this time, I can remain sure of my calling to ministry.  Just because I feel held back doesn't mean that I am.  God has called me to do specific things for this church right now, and one of them is prayer and intercession for its leaders.  Whether or not I fell like I am fulfilling my calling while "sitting on the sidelines,"  I am as long as I am also remaining faithful. Once again, I can watch and gain wisdom from what I see.  While keeping my mouth shut in the past two years, I have learned things that work and things that don't.  I have a list in my mind of things I will and will not do when I lead a youth group.  This has been so beneficial to me.  I don't think I would have learned these things if I had been in more of a leadership position.

Second Timothy

Chapter 1

v6-7 "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control."

ch2

v23 "Have  NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOLISH, IGNORANT CONTROVERSIES; you know that they breed quarrels."  (emphasis mine)

This is obviously something I need to learn more about, since I always seem to find myself in foolish, ignorant controversies and quarrels.

v24-25a "And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness."

Ch4

v2 "preach the word; be ready in season adn out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching."

Patience agian, huh?  Seems as if that is an area in which I am still lacking.

Titus

2:7-8 "Show yourself in all respect to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us."

My opponents have had much evil to say about me in the past.  In the future, I want to be of such sound character that they feel foolish even thinking about gossiping about me.

As you can see, I was encouraged by these writings.  God has shown me my place for now, and I will hopefully accept it for the time being and not struggle for what I want, but for what God wants to happen in our church.  The time will come when I come into the fulfilment of God's calling on my life.  We'll call this period "Preparation."  Spross would like that.  I am preparing and learning.  Just not in the classroom.

There is more.  I have learned a lot of ugly things about myself in the last couple of weeks.  Jealousy, pettiness, mistrust, and more have come to light in my attitudes.  We'll discuss those later.  For now, I'm dwelling on what I've learned. 

11:35 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Baby Blog: week 16

So this is the sixteenth week of me being pregnant.  I felt a little sick this morning.  I haven't been very hungry lately, and I haven't wanted to eat at all.  I know I need to eat more, but my experience of forcing myself to eat has not been good. So I've been only eating when I am hungry. This morning, I was hungry and tried to eat a couple of bites of chicken salad at work.  I gagged as soon as I opened the container.  I couldn't come close to eating any of it.  So I went to Panera for lunch and was able to eat some soup. And tonight I ate a bowl of Jambalaya. So it's not that bad.  I'm showing now, and I plan to post a picture soon.  That's all.

3:37 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Musings

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