God is Pooh Bear
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Life
Several things amuse me with the passing of time. Firstly the people born in 1970's who are now in thier 30's or late 20's. They, well most of them, all have jobs. They who wasted their childhoods listening to music and watching television and then spent their teen years drinking alcohol illegally and/or playing video arcade games. They, most of them, seem fine now. At some point in the 90's possibly due to the Backstreet boys or perhaps even Vanilla Ice they decided to pack in the whole irresponsible partying thing.
Now then. There is also my generation. Those born in the 80's who are now in their 20's or late teens. We appear to be doing ok. Getting a bit screwed over in inflation and such, but you know, all generations have thier problems. We wasted our childhoods with cartoons and computer games. None of which prepared us for the whole, you know, having a life. Except of course Degrassi. Which showed us Highschool kids problems like drugs and teen pregnancy, whilst we were still in primary school. At least we weren't surprised then. We ended up spending our teen years all jaded though. Now here we are facing an ever growing reality television empire and cop dramas or hospital dramas or lawyer shows or combo of two or all of these ideas.
What amazes me, however is that now the kids from the 90's are in their teens or tweenies or you know at least coming to the end of their childhoods. I don't know I can't explain it, it seems like madness. People who have never heard the music of Don McClain or only heard remixes of Micheal Jackson will now be out partying to some band who were inspired by Nirvana and the kids don't even know it. Those kids have wasted their childhoods on video games and the internet. They will never know what it was like to wait a whole night (or two) to download an album. To have to hide the fact you were downloading things onto the computer from your parents by switching off the monitor. Just so that you could watch music video that had just come out on MTV. Also most of these kids don't even know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Nor do they know what Television was like before The Simpsons. Honestly I don't even think I ever watched channel 10 in the 80's.
Anyway this blog is getting kind of long. I just think its weird that children now will never know the problems of internet dial-up. The joys of being able to fast forward thru the ads on a VHS tape.
I'm going to wrap this up with something from the end of the novel 'On the Road' by Jack Kerouac; "... and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear". Its a random unexplained sentence on the last page. I thought about this for ages. I realized why God is Pooh Bear, because we are Christopher Robin. We play in the Hundred Acre Wood. We all play a different game in a different imaginary place. But God is Pooh and we are Christopher, but remember even Christopher was make believe. And here's the bit that blows my mind, he was based on a real child...
I hope one day some one will understand this. I have trouble communicating my thoughts, but I believe I have figured it out.
I am a sucker
Current mood: irritated
Category: Life
This is what happened today. I planned to leave my house at 10am, do a bit of shopping. Due to my usual procrastinationism I left close to 11am. And just to prove that lazyness is a sin and therefore punishable. I get caught by one of those Heart foundation peoples. Now the thing is I wouldn't mind giving them money straight up. But its the fact that they take it out of your Bank account for the rest of your life. Anyway I sign up, cause I'm what the kids call a 'pussy'. I don't use that term myself, its kind of sexist in a way, you know suggesting that pussy are not as strong as penii's which really I guess they aren't really but I digress...
The point is I signed up went off did some shopping came home. Decided to go out again. Went to the city. Bought a few things. Thought to myself I'll catch the train. I waited in a line for the only working ticket machine for about 10 minutes and decided that it would be better for all concerned if I just left. I don't want to go into the complications right now of the way I buy train tickets (the whole weekly ticket, multiple paper money fiasco). So I walk home and think to myself this is good. I'm burning up all kinds of fat. I'll go to sleep faster tonight and I like walking. Gives you time to think about stuff. Which I will get to in a minute. Then I see a service station and think, I'm going to get a coke. One side goes, "no are you mad. Think of all the sugar and crap. Plus you were just thinking about how you will get a good nights sleep tonight as you will go to bed early, but not if you drink that caffine." The other side goes. "Look we've burnt stuff off and in the end who cares about sleep you can drink warm milk before you go to bed." I give in to temptation. I buy my coke. There is a fricken credit card dude. INSIDE the store. But the jokes on him, cause I have a bad credit rating so I may not be accepted. Haha loser.
Point is that before the service station guy I was thinking about how i have to go into work tomorrow and ask them if I am getting Saturday off. I applied for it like two weeks ago. They've said nothing to me. So in my mind I was going into the office and being all hardass about it. But I'm thinking in reality I'm just going to go in there and ask them if I have Saturday off. And if they say no. I'm just going to say ok and slink out. However I will not be going to work on Saturday, its eay to not show up that doesn't take any guts. And I'll just be all cool and submissive when I get in on Sunday. They wont fire me and if they do in some ways it may be a good thing. At least I wont be able to pay off all those charity dudes anymore.
There was a Green Peace guy that I managed to say no to. But you know, Green Peace its easy cause they really are turning into a bunch of wankers.
Moral of the story; always look ahead of you when walking around the city make sure you either walk in the middle of a crowd if you see dudes and girls with clipboards. Cross the road if you have too. I've walked into traffic just to avoid them in the past. But also be alert when going into service stations now. Be aware but not alarmed they can sense that and they prey on it. I know, I once worked for the Cobra Group...
Freakonomics - A semi-review (But it has an interesting facts)
Current mood: argumentative
Category: Writing and Poetry
Freakonomics is a book written by Steven D. Levitt (An economist who has won the John Bates Clark medal for being the best American economist) and Stephen J. Dubner (Writer for the New York times)
First a very quick review. Freakonomics contains many many interesting facts and pieces of information that I believe would benefit alot of people, for example if you are looking at buying a house or if you are going interested in what kind of life your baby will have depending on what name you give it. Overall the facts are interesting and will both shock and intrigue you. For myself personally though occasionally the writing is a bit pretentious and uses larger type words when obviously smaller ones could have been used. But that is just my opinion.
The most interesting fact for me was the one in the introduction. In the mid-nineties many American experts on sociology, crimonology, etc. were saying that the rising crime rate was going to get a whole lot worse before it got better. However suddenly in 1995 AND uniformly across the United States the crime rate dropped. The period of 1995 to 2005 (when the revision of the book was published) saw a drop in crime. Why was this? Fascinatingly it all comes down to one individual, twenty-five years previously in the year 1970, a woman by the name of Norma McCorvey...
Essentially she was a bit of a... loose girl, she was from a low income family and had given up 3 previous children for adoption. Not wanting to do this again she wanted to have an abortion however in the state of Texas at the time abortions were illegal. So basically a pro-choice group backed her and the case was taken up in court and eventually went to the supreme court. Who in 1973 decided to legalize abortion across the United States of America....
What happened next? Basically it was now any woman in Norma McCorvey's position could get an abortion, the thing to note is that statistically the people in Norma McCorvey's position, lower-class, drugged up, single mothered children are sadly the types who often grow up to commit crimes. What had happened was now a larger portion of these potential adult criminals were never born. As a result the crime rate dropped at a time when they would have been adults.
The irony that I see is when people say abortion is murder, imagine (in this case) how many murders were avoided. It bogles the mind. Well my mind anyway.
A blog for the ages
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Blogging
So I haven't done this in a while, just kind of seeing if I still gots it!
Many things have changed in my life since the last blog, moved out of home, no longer single, grew a goatee... umm I'm like nearly 3 months older, you know heaps of stuff has changed.
I have missed out on writing many reviews of books, DVDs and life that I really should have blogged. And since it would be a crime against humanity and indeed all life on earth for these things not too be blogged about by me I shall do several mini-reviews now. Reviewettes if you will.
1984 by George Orwell - I highly recommend this book as I believe it is still relivent to our times. Its a bit depressing but when you realize that it is what we are heading towards then you know... you get more depressed. I chose to read this superlative novel during the whole APEC deal which just helped to make me super paranoid about being watched by APEC dudes who just wanted to make me disappear.
The Mighty Boosh - This is a well weapon series. Totally random comedy, which I love. Highly recommended. The random songs are the best one of my faves being 'Calm a llama down'. And 'Soup' also the moon being a character who is basically an alabasta retard in the second season is the radest. This series also introduced me to the sub-culture of the Mods whom I was only vaguely aware of.
Stanmore - Stanmore is a lovely suburb just on the fringes of the city. When we first moved in to our new place I was like I wish I was a little closer to the city like maybe in McDonald Town or Redfern, but now I see the error of my ways, I was just being greedy. Stanmore rocks the cas bar!
Monkey (Journey to the West) - So I read 'Jouney to the West' by Wu Ch'eng-en; which is a great epic novel about a Buddhist Priest (Tripitaka) going on a quest from China to India to fetch the holy scriptures. He is helped by 3 spirits, King Monkey (Great Sage Equal of Heaven), Pigsy and Sandy. You will probably know it better as 'Monkey' The Japanese TV show from the late 70's early 80's. The book is pretty much just as funny as the series in that it is meant to be kind of ludacris mixed in with the beliefs of the early Buddhists. After I read the book I went on to Ebay and bought the entire series of Monkey on DVD. They are both super rad and I highly recommend them.
Facebook - Perhapse I shall be banned from myspace for this but here it goes. Facebook kicks myspaces ass. And it wasn't two months ago when I would hold a grudge against someone who said such blasphamy but we must accept certain things as fact. The applications are fun and now a days Myspace is just stealing all of their ideas, with the status updates and the emotion updates. Alas Myspace has gone the way of MIRC and usernet groups. Sure you still use them every now and then but its gone. No doubt by this time next year it will probably be superceeded by some new online networking thing but until then Facebook is truly the king of online networking.
Rooney - I quite like this band. They have a kind of retro mid 80's too late 90's feel thingy happening. Definate Mods. I did have a band in mind that I was going to liken them too, but now I forget.
Well that's it I think. For now. Until laters... Futures readers.
There is a Conservapedia!
Current mood: bouncy
Category: News and Politics
Oh my Gosh! This is one of those things that is funny and yet not. It's like from a movie.
The Conservapedia is a conservative version of Wikipedia. Created due to the belief that there is a liberal bias in the Wikipedia...
This is real. Check it out: http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page
Now I believe that everyone is entitled to they're own opinion. I have no problem with a right wing website, it's good it fuels debate, so long as people don't start flaming each other and they keep to the issues. However... when you display your page as being an encyclopaedia and then have a page dedicated to evolution littered with info on how evolution is not true and how creationism is more likely. That kinda gets to me a little.
Also I recomend the page on homosexuality. Apparently being gay is linked with several mental and physiological diseases. Also the spread of AIDS, as we all know, is due to the promiscuity of homosexuals. Also it leads to violence. I don't really understand that one you'll have to read it yourself.
I also recommend thier page on Fox News. Nuff said on that really.
Well that's all for now freedom fighters, friends, I'm not going to write the blog I was planning to. Why plan blogs for? No reason.
EDIT: I don't know why the writings coming out big halfway through. I didn't touch the size. Alas, I'm not yelling or anything, sorry about that.
I did actually have something that I wanted to write today, I remeber that before my Birthday I had a great idea for a blog that had to wait until today to be written. I've been trying to remember it all day but its gone. Alas
I have come to the conclusion, dear readers, that my job is even more meaningless and pointless than I first thought. It tricked me, you see, at first it seemed like a veritable utopia. However this I believe was only due to how bad my previous jobs have been. Apart from the Videography and yes (ok I know some will disagree, but I cannot help the way I feel) my time at Rayon Productions, all my jobs have been very shite. Physically draining, mentally wasting and soul destroying. Therefore compared to these DHL appeared to be an actual nirvana. No stress, nice people, laid back. But now I have discovered that it is the Queen of the Harpies! Queen of the Harpies!! Here's your crown your majesty!!!
Here is why it is pointless. I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. Nothing physical anyway. Fiscal yes. Not physical, nothing real or important. At the end of every week all I have to show for my hard work is the money. Pffft. And?? So what!? If I work there for a decade what will I have to show for it? A DHL watch and probably a gift certificate if I'm lucky. Useless. In 10,000 years it's not like they're going to say 'Did you know that during the beginning of the Information age that Joseph McCarthy worked for DHL.' No they wont even know that DHL existed! But the clincher for me is imagine a timeline that runs for ten million years, imagine it being about a metre long. It begins 5,000,000 years ago and ends 5,000,000 years from now. Even assuming DHL exists to the end of the 21st century on that metre long scale showing human evolution you wouldn't even be able to see DHL.
Admittedly on such a scale Homo Sapiens, assuming we continue to exist for another 100,000 years would hardly reach 6cm and most civilizations would be a millimetre or two. But I still think the point is valid.
I need to start my own business. That's all that I can do really. And slowly phase out my current job. Plus I'm 26 now. In ten years time I'll be 36. That's ten years older! I remember thinking ten years ago. "I can't believe I'm 16. When's my life going to restart." I'm still kind of waiting for the restart, but as each day passes I loose my faith in the restarting thing. Twenty years ago I remember thinking how much life sucked because my kindergarten nun teacher use to beat me on a daily basis. So now whenever I think life is bad I just think to myself 'Well at least that bitch is dead.'
I just remembered what my post was going to be about. Right! But it will have to wait for another time as I am sure I have crapped on to much now. Hopefully I wont forget. I'll just write what it's kind of going to be about...
Me/us (ie people I know) being born at a different time.
Oh I should say thankyou to everyone for my presents. They were great. Awesome even. I got a bed and a Homer beanie and a Red Dwarf quiz DVD and some new Dunlop shoes and a cup from Euro Disney (which I'm not allowed to drink from because its a collectors item, whatever) and a Dalek keychain and a book on asking the question where all the futuristic technology type stuff is. But the three most memorable have to be the 'Red Son' Green Lantern action figure that Chris got me, the Crusader knight, that you excavate out of clay (who may recieve his own blog one day soon.) that Karlton got me and of course the Optimash Prime that Anna May got me. That right Optimash Prime a transformer Mr. Potato Head ('More than meets the fry' truly taking cheeseyness to new levels of cheese.) Notice I didn't say best gifts basically because gifts like the bed and the shoes are pretty rad and actually serve a required purpose. But I do like my toys. Can you say "40 year old virgin"?
This is truly one of the greatest anecdotes I have heard in a while. It was told to me by Anna May who heard it from Mark who heard it from one of his old army mates. So kudos to all of you for keeping the story going.
So Mark's mate witnessed this couple having a bit of a domestic dispute. Now imagine two Australian ocker (way out west, like Penrith sort of thing) drongos (to use an Aussie term) having an argument. It's all like him saying "you're a slag" and her saying "yeah well you're a dick head." And this continues on for a while. Finally she drops the big one. "You don't even love me anymore." Too which the man replies; "I buys ya pies and fucks ya don't I?"
Classic
Best! Line! Ever!
Rhonda once said to me there are many different kinds of love. Well, here we have an example of Aussie lovin' "I buys ya pies and fucks ya don't I?" If only I had known that that is what women wanted earlier on. Pies not flowers or chocolates or romantic songs and stuff. Pies and fuckin' That's true blue love.
See people like Billy Joel and Lionel Richie have been sending me in the wrong direction "Tell her about it" and "Dancing on the Ceiling". That might be the American way, but that's not how we roll down under. If only John Farnum had come out with a song called "I Buys Ya Pies And Fucks Ya". Then, just imagine, I'd be a player now. ROFLOL. So long as I went for the type of girls who wear flannel shirts, who use the word 'cunt' in every second sentence and who like a bit of meth with their beer. Classy chicks ya know.
Tell you what if I ever have a band that is definatly going to be a single. And if they ever publish my memoirs that is going to be a whole chapter. In any of my travels over seas in the future when people ask me about Australian girls that's the story I'm going to tell.
'Hey true blue...'
Currently
reading
:
A Confederacy Of Dunces
By
John Kennedy Toole
Release date: 30 September, 2004
Review 12 - 'The Simpsons Movie' A phojeff blog
Current mood: excited
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
The Simpsons movie aptly entitled - 'The Simpsons Movie' has, for some of us, been over 15 years in the making. Others (mainly those under the age of 16) have been waiting for this film for thier entire lives. Now not many films could stand up to that kind of anticipation e.g. 'Superman Returns' (I don't even remember if that's what that film was called now.) However as my friend Mark said, "Its the Simpsons, the whole movie could have been Homer just saying 'D'oh' and it would have been great." Let's face it, this is totally true.
I will now add spoiler space so that if you don't want to know certain things about the film you don't have to read on.
The story is pretty bland really and could have just been for a one of the episodes, it only seems epic because its about an hour and 15 minutes long. However as Homer points out at the beginning when the family are watching an Itchy & Scratchy movie "I can't believe we paid to watch something that we could have seen on T.V. If you ask me everyone in the audience is a sucker." Which is true. Strangely this is one of the intermittent lines in the film that has a Simpsonesque feel to it. The story is all about how polluted Springfield river has become and so a law is passed making dumping in the river illegal. Which of course Homer breaks to the detrament of the town. Who are then encased in a giant glass dome by the Enviromental Protection Agency. And from here chaos ensues.
Heres what I feel, there weren't to many funny lines in the film, a lot of the jokes were more physical or not really that quotable. Where as an episode of 'The Simpsons' will usually have many quotable quotes. There was a subplot of Bart kindof moving away from Homer and closer to Flanders but it was kinda tacked on. Even more so than Lisa's subplot about this Irish boy that she gets a crush on. Also you know who has no lines in the film... Hans Moleman. That's right poor old Hans makes one fleeting appearance but has no lines. And damn it! There wasn't enough Lenny and Carl moments! They deliver one of my top 5 favorite lines in the film.
Mayor Quimby: ...We're stepping up to code black.
Lenny: Not black! That's the worst colour. No offence Carl.
Carl: That's ok I get it all the time.
Which reminds me of my other favorite line, delivered by Mr. Burns
Mr. Burns: Finally for once the old rich white man has the power.
Classic. And then there's the 'SOP' sign Homer makes. Funny, funny stuff.
E.P.A Guy: We can't stop at ever 'SOP' sign that we see.
You know what the problem with the Simpsons is. It's that Matt Groening knows that we are going to see the film and watch the television show no matter what now. So they don't have to really try anymore. It's a condition that I have named the Lucas syndrome. Basically ever day that passes you loose more and more of your creativity as every day you have to try less and less. There is no known cure. Alas, alas.
For we are all suckers, some of us more so than others. I'll probably go and see the movie again, but why? Why? I don't know. I just don't know.
I give it 4 out of 5. Okay, not great. Groening could probably stick the Simpsons faces on a brand of toilet paper, use it, film it and to be honest, I'd go see it....
Consider the following; there is no free will, every action, every speech, everything has already been decided. There is no way to change it. Depressing perhaps but enlightening.
In a way some of you out there who blieve in prophecies and tarot cards and the like are therefore correct and should be happy. Basically if future events are under our control then they couldn't really be predicted. Because people who looked into the future would see nothing as there would be nothing there.
Also let us consider for a second, and I'm not saying its true, I'm not saying its wrong either, I'm a fence sitter on this one. Anyway, you people out there who truly believe in God should be happy as well, because even though he says that he's given us free will he can't have because apparently he also has a plan and whatever God thinks happens because of his all powerfulness. Now that means that you can't deviate from the plan and therefore, ergo, no free will. And don't say God wouldn't lie. Remember the fruit from the tree. He told us that would kill us. And don't say well people wouldn't have died if we didn't eat the fruit. Cause he didn't say you'll die eventually or you'll loose your immortality, which it doesn't say anywhere that they were. So yeah, he's lied before he'd do it again.
Heres my reasoning for the whole predeterminism thing. I don't think the universe or God or the fates or the stars (astrology type) or the inivisable spagettie monster or the great garage or the secret or whatever want me to be a writer. I have done various courses on the subject (so I have the knowledge), I have gotten praise for my work (so its not bad), I have met people in the industry (keeping contact always a problem but still...), yet now what am I. A box throwing monkey. What's the go?
Many of my friends are in similar situations, have degrees up the wazoo, have all the necessary experiance, are good at what they want to do and yet... Life jsut doesn't seem to give them what they want. WTF indeed.
Now I'll also say this, it isn't all negative some of my friends have fallen into jobs and lifestyles that they never even considered and are very happy. They were happy to go along with the plan. Which is fine, no probs. Whatever.
But it still proves my theory, well, not MY theory, its just a combining of fatalism and determinism theory, which are nearly the same anyway. Still yeah I don't think I have any control over my life at all. I definately have no control over the lives of others or over my country or planet as whole.
Even if you do think that you have some control over your own life and little to no control over the lives of others, you can't seriously think that you have any effect on what the government decides to do or that of any other nations.
In conclusion 90% of the population is deluded into thinking they have contol over there own lives and approximately 99.9% are deluded into thinking they can make a difference on a political scale. It's the less than 0.1 percent who see the truth and I think most of them end up commiting suicide, coincidence, I think not.
Review 11 - 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theatres'
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Writing and Poetry
I am not even sure if this movie came out in Australia or if it ever will, most likely straight to DVD. But I highly, highly recommend this film.
I have seen 3 movies in course of the past week; 'Oceans 13', 'Transformers' and 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theatres'. The first two I saw in the cinemas with all the added benefits of surround sound and film quality ATHF:MFFT I watched in 10 parts on youtube.com (God bless youtube).
I can review the first two for you right now.
Oceans 13 It's okay, not great. Standard heist movie. A few lighthearted moments. My cinema experiance was FUBARed from a group of hormonal highschool girls walking in and out of the cinema the whole time.
Transformers It seems to me that the product placement in that film was out of control. You do not need a close up of a memory card showing its brand. And what about Hasbro getting a mention in the title credits. So I'm reminded again of a song from the movie Team America: World Police. "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies...?" This is a very good question.
But now on to the Aqua Teen movie. If you haven't seen an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force I recommend going on to youtube and finding a full episode. Anyone will do. It really doesn't matter. Its not like it will make any more sense to you, trust me. If you don't find it funny though then I'm afraid we just can't really be friends anymore. No I'm sorry, you know, we had a lot of good times, good times but now its just over. We can still hang out and be myspace friends but... We're not friends anymore.
Basically the Aqua Teens are anthropomorphic fast food items, Master Shake (A Milkshake), Frylock (Some fries) and Meatwad (A wad of meat). Now I know what you're thinking, it sounds like McDonalds got some of their massive profits and made themselves a television show. Trust me. I thought that two, I actually refused to watch the show once because that's what I thought. Just goes to show don't judge a book by its cover. There really is no continuing storyline of any kind in the first two episodes the Aqua Teens work as detectives but after that its only been occasionally mentioned but they haven't done any actual detecting in years now.
I can't really even explain what happens in the movie. It is just so original, random and pointless. If it does come out in Australia you should watch it or buy it on DVD or at least rent it and then burn a copy of the DVD. Here's the thing. You watch the whole 1.5 approx. hours of the whole thing and in the end you're like, what, what just happened? what's going on? Is that all? What the hell was that? But as they say in the beginning song, "... your money is now our money and we will spend it on drugs!"
I really hope that I can watch this movie in the cinema just so I can see the look on other peoples faces after the credits have rolled.
Whilst the movie does answer some questions and give a semi reasoning to a lot of the surrealist things that happen in the T.V. show really it just creates more questions than answers. But I fricken loved it.
After you've watched a few episodes on Cartoon Network, late Friday or Saturday night or like me just watched them on youtube then watch the movie. It wont make much more sense but at least you'll be in the same mindset as me.
thoughtful
At least we weren't surprised then. We ended up spending our teen years all jaded though. Now here we are facing an ever growing reality television empire and cop dramas or hospital dramas or lawyer shows or combo of two or all of these ideas.
irritated
argumentative
bouncy
bored
what will I have to show for it? A DHL watch and probably a gift certificate if I'm lucky. Useless. In 10,000 years it's not like they're going to say 'Did you know that during the beginning of the Information age that Joseph McCarthy worked for DHL.' No they wont even know that DHL existed! But the clincher for me is imagine a timeline that runs for ten million years, imagine it being about a metre long. It begins 5,000,000 years ago and ends 5,000,000 years from now. Even assuming DHL exists to the end of the 21st century on that metre long scale showing human evolution you wouldn't even be able to see DHL.
giggly
excited
okay
cheerful
