Wrongedness

I've got the f'king rage this evening. And I'm not even coming down off anything. I'm not.

I woke up this morning when my radio switched itself on and the first thing I heard was "due to the gales there are no Isle of Wight ferries running this morning." Hmm, I thought. Work don't know were I've been this weekend, they don't know I was in Reading & Thatcham. I could phone in and say I'd been to see my mum and was stuck. But, but, I did the decent thing.

I was up the shop earlier and I saw something which encapsulates all I believe is wrong with the world. Some ex Big Brotyher no-mark, Chantelle is on the cover of a tabloid magazine looking pleased as punch and stating how she got new bOObs to 'get a new man'. Clearly she's a deep woman, she doesn't want to rely on those ethereal things like her charm, personality and wit to get a chap, just a great big pair of JUGS. Now, I have nothing against jugs, in fact I'm a huge fan, but surely a relationship should be build upon a more solid foundation? And there's the rub (fnarr fnarr). Style is winning out over substance. We see it in our politicians, our 'celebs', work even where the people whose faces fit get noticed, not those can actually do a good job. It sucks. Sucks arse. The tits are winning. Viva les ( o Y o ).

But the day has been saved. Giz has booked this years holiday. On 19 June (my birthday) the Reykjavik crew hit Helsinki. Finland, you have no idea what's coming. Bring it on.

Back to the wine.

As you were.

14:25 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

err, umm, ahhh

wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong

10:28 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Oh crip, they’re all crapples

10:09 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Iceland

SO, I gave up trying to load a gallery on this site - it's so slow. My ZX81 was faster.

Click here for Icelandic fun.

10:26 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Liam Byrne is an idiot.

Words quite simply fucking fail me...

ID cards 'to be UK institution'

The identity card scheme will become a "great British institution" on a par with the railways in the 19th Century, Home Office minister Liam Byrne says.

He said it was "time to get on with it" and predicted that the National Identity Scheme "will soon become part of the fabric of British life".

07:02 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Dorian Gray I presume?

What better way to spend a landmark b'day than travelling to London and back to renew my passport. Not for me to take heed of the "Do not make any holiday bookings until you receive your passport" signs, oh no. Had my flight booked weeks ago.
They actually run a really smooth operation. I was in, forms checked & stamped, card swiped and back out again inside 15 minutes. The only delay was as the passport woman repeatedly checked my new photo against the one in my old passport. I guess she was wondering how, with that picture being taken 14 years ago, I've stayed so pretty. Hurrah.

I should have gone to the Tate or somewhere lovely afterwards, but my back hurts too  much.  Woe is me. It's been nearly 2 weeks now and I ought to see a doctor really but fuck 'em. Hospitals are full of people who have just seen their doctor; follow me?

The contrast between the Passport Office and Optical Express couldn't be more stark. I pay a small monthly stipend for my contact lenses, a large box of which I should receive every 3 months. My last lot didn't arrive because my eyes were 'overdue and examination'. The eye test I had last September had dropped off their computer or something and they wouldn't take my word over a dumb machine would they? The computer says no. So I had a new test a week last Saturday and received a call last Monday checking my new address, and informing me that my new batch of lenses was being put in the post that day. Hurrah. Still noting received yesterday so I wandered up to the office. There I was told that they had actually been sent to me on Friday, but a helpful lady gave me 10 lenses to tide me over. I popped a pair in this morning and couldn't see a thing - they were the wrong prescription. Tossers. Went back in this afternoon for a moan, received abject apologies and a new box of lenses. On arriving home I've found not 3 months supply but 6. They have sent 3 months worth here and 3 months to my old address which the Royal Mail have helpfully redirected here. Should I be honest and send a box back or should I just let their screw ups cost them? Answers, once again, on a postcard to a man who gives a shit - tis not I. Today I am 40 and must eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow I'll just be another cnut with a hangover.

Thank you to all for the text messages, cards and emails.

Might just have a quick kip now.

22:24 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Rosa

Ages ago when I was on the IoW, I wrote about Rosa disappearing soon after my arrival. This is the pic that should have accompanied that post.

Better late than never.

20:54 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Tuesday

My most imaginative title ever. Hmmm.

So, seven months in the last place and my own 'puter didn't get online once - eight days here. Lightning. Aren't ethernet cables expensive though? And four, yes four hours it took me to update everything. My virus definitions had expired as well so I had to upgrade to Norton 2007 which is a great big lumbering behemoth of a programme.

The move went splendidly, thanks to all involved. Cats settled in OK, though Billie was a bit grumpy at the weekend. With the nice weather I've not had the heart to keep them in for the recommended 2 weeks and they had  their first nose about the garden yesterday and met the first of the neighbourhood cats tonight. Well Rosa did anyway; Billie had her back though. A tactical reserve. Like the Gurkhas.

Work is shit. No change there.

Vodka & tonics all round.

20:30 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Bad day for fascism

Swings & roundabouts innit?

Judges fail to back new ministry

Senior judges have refused to back government plans to set up the new Ministry of Justice, it has emerged.

The Lord Chief Justice, Lord Phillips, told MPs it had proved impossible to reach a deal with ministers.

I think a less Orwellian title would have helped eh? I'm not sure what they mean by 'plans to set up a Ministry of Justice' though. They already have a fucking website, even if it is packed only with plastic, identikit Labour ministers, rather than anyone who knows a shit or indeed gives a shit about 'justice'.

Some 2,000 residents were forced out when the British colony in the Indian Ocean was leased to the US in the 1960s to build an airbase at Diego Garcia.

The government took the case to the Court of Appeal after two earlier rulings declared the actions unlawful. It has a month to decide whether to appeal to the House of Lords.

The idea of royal prerogative dates back centuries and would allow, in times of crisis, the monarch to act without parliament, in say declaring war on France. Or Spain. Or Germany. Proud Europeans that we are. Now we have a constitutional monarchy, Mr Bliar wanted to use prerogative in a monarchical way to avoid parliamentary scrutiny of this American driven policy to deny people the right to return to their homes. Our (currently) independent judiciary said "No Mr B, you are wrong, you are sooooo wrong'. Anyone getting an idea as to why TB wants a Ministry for Justice, run by the government as opposed to independent, free minds? Answers on a postcard.

And while we're talking about 'merica, seen this? Made me hoot with laughter.

Bush asks UN for help in Iraq

The Bush administration suffered a humiliating diplomatic climbdown over Iraq yesterday as it presented a draft resolution to the UN, asking for military and financial help to rescue it from the ballooning human, financial and political costs of the occupation.

The balls! The very UN that the US ignored in 2003, the same UN who have said that the war in Iraq is illegal is now being asked to help finance the very same illegal, immoral war. If I was in charge of the UN my answer would involve much dropping of trouserage. And a big fat fucking NO.

Back to the Peoples' Republic of Bliar...

Rules on sham marriage 'unlawful'

Controversial immigration rules aimed at stopping sham marriages are unlawful, says the Court of Appeal.

Judges said the law breached the fundamental rights of immigrants subjected to the vetting.

Again, see the value of an independent judiciary in standing up for the rights of those who need help the most? We're a big country and we should welcome the fact that people want to come here and contribute to our society, both economically and socially. The myth that they all come here to sponge off our welfare state is just that. A myth. It's driven by the likes of the Daily Fucking Mail and the Daily Cunting Express (to give them their full titles), run by those narrow minded, little Englander bastards I hate. The sort of ignorant twats who retire to Spain or Portugal and utterly fail to see either the irony or the hypocrisy in spending the rest of their empty lifes complaining that "You just can't get a decent pint" while thoroughly pissing off 'the natives' because "none of them speak English". Stains. Die.

03:34 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Birthday Billie

Like the queen, my fat cat Billie has two birthdays. I'm not really sure when her 'proper' birthday is, but nine years ago today, on a Saturday morning, Claire went off in our old Nissan while I cleaned up, hoovered and smoked my first phat one of the day. She returned an hour later with a very nervous, remarkably slim (considering her current girth), but very lovely Billie Bobbins. And there has only, really been one female in my life since.
Billie was 9 months old and although she hadn't been cruelly treated, she had spent a large part of those 9 months alone and she was a bit of a nervous wreck. She was ballsy though, god was she ballsy, she had occupied Iggy's bed inside an hour and eaten most of the food we'd put down for the pair of them inside two. It was about a month before she would sit on my lap and probably six months before she'd comfortably sleep there or pad, but she became my little buddy, my shadow.
Happy birthday baby.

02:14 - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment