Just for You - Rework/Repost to She & He
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Writing and Poetry

So with some guidance and suggestions from friends, the old one is now this (the first half is the same...I think...)...I do prefer it, not happy with it, but I do prefer it...interested in what people think...(excuse whatever's going to happen to the fonts, I'm guessing it won't be good)

She
I placed my vanquished demons, one by one, on a golden platter
Just for you
Offered it to you on bended knee
Though battle wounds still oozed
You asked for more

I searched my soul and tore words from my essence
Just for you
Bound them in blood
Tossed them on the turgid corpses
You asked for more

I stitched my mouth and gouged out my eyes
Just for you
Threw every weapon I held on the pile
Made myself disarmed and dumb
You asked for more

I ripped my gown and bared my form
Just for you
Naked and shamed
Giving you my tattered rags with bowed head
You asked for more

I wrenched my failing heart from my chest
Just for you
Watched it pulse in the putrid heap
Watched it die
Watched me die

You asked for more

He
Powerless as you fought alone, I itched to join
You stayed my hand
Each wound you took, I felt your agony
Took your pain for mine silently
My love was true

Wrapped your gifts in finest gossamer I did
You never saw
Buried them deep and safe, my treasures,
Along with my humble offerings for you
My love was true

How could I tell your pain, mine own eyes long blinded?
You never said
I only wanted your weapons to get to you
And would shield you with my life if you let me
My love was true

With clumsy hands I stitched you finery of silver and gold
You never wore
Loved your beauty in all its glory
So much it struck me dumb
My love was true

My soul suffered a thousand tortures
You were my balm
I watched, still as night, waiting for you to come to me,
Watched in waking death
Watched my heart dying, as ‘twas yours

My love was true

Currently listening : Final Straw By Snow Patrol Release date: 2004-03-30

11:30 PM - 15 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Fairytale Women...And Why I Hate Them
Current mood: chipper
Category: Romance and Relationships

Fairytales. They've been around for centuries. For the purposes of simplicity (why make things difficult for yourself in a rant I say) I'm going with the Disney versions. No, I'm not going to go Pinkola-Estes on you, nor am I thinking this is particularly radical insight at work. And yes, this is the closest thing I'll ever get to doing a movie review.

Let's start with Cinderella. She's pretty, but unappreciated. She allows 'evil' women to manipulate her, steal from her and work her fingers to the bone. Eventually she gets rescued by a fairy godmother (a myth within a myth) and of course a handsome prince, whose only accomplishments are to be able to dance and collect stray shoes.

Sleeping Beauty – She was beautiful. She was cursed. She pricked her finger (sewing). And she slept. Wow. Gosh darn. Wow. What a heroine. The hero, Prince Valiant, has to battle evil to save her. And save her he does. (Save…rescue…is a theme emerging here? Surely not!).

Rapunzel – Got trapped in a tower by an evil enchantress. As the result of her mother's weakness and her father succumbing to her mother's weakness. Rescued because, basically, the lovely prince conned her stupid arse.  I'd like to think that a real woman would've cut her hair long ago, made a rope and gotten the hell out. Depending on the version, she does heal his blindness with her tears. Which is of course fabulous, and just goes to show you that women wailing on the sidelines of life does actually serve a purpose.

Snow White – Pretty much a combo deal here – evil stepmother (wow, another theme), unappreciated, then lots of sleeping (although with appalling dress sense, but that's another issue). She did work her butt off for seven single men in between, earning their devotion. And of course, insert prince for saving here.

Beauty and the Beast – My particular favourite. This time the prince is cursed by (yes you guessed it) an evil enchantress. Ugly demon he-man Neanderthal type kinda guy (yeah, your average rugbyhead). Steals a woman. She falls in love with him and vanquishes the curse. What does this tell you? Yes you can tame that bad man! If you're just sweet enough, kind enough, if only you can see the prince beneath the hideous exterior that everyone else sees…etc etc…if only…then he'll be the prince charming she always wanted…yeah…same things are in anecdotes of abused women everywhere.

So the summary – women are passive, or evil. They need saving. (And their power lies in sleeping. Or crying).  Their job is to look pretty, love their man and produce offspring. (Have to say, it can't have been much fun for the guys either...all that slaying of evil...must've been hell on the nerves).

Now, that was ages ago, you say. Our heroines are much feistier now. Why yes, yes, they are. Drew Barrymore was a way cooler Cinderella. Most definitely (still got manipulated, rescued etc but hey, it's a start). 

And of course, Lara Croft and co kick ass. These heroines can beat the everloving shit outta anything that moves. They're tough, they're savvy and they don't muck about. Yay.  But look closer. They're men with tits. Sure they might show a feminine side when a gratuitous sex scene or nudity is required but basically, they are masculine. Look closer again. Find a feminine character in there (if you can). What's she doing? That's right, she's sitting there, looking pretty and waiting to be rescued. Or she's evil! So, as with most things 'feminist', we haven't acknowledged that strength can be feminine. We've just made females more masculine. I guess that's easier.

This is obviously simplistic analysis...but I'm betting pretty much everything I own that you really really do not want to hear the detail about the differences in portrayals of heroes and heroines...right down to the way posters and images are differently posed...yeah...safe bet methinks.

Oh and yeah I know I haven't watched enough movies to have any kind of expertise here...but hey, 'twas fun.

Buried at PhotoCasket

Currently listening : A Knight’s Tale Release date: 2001-05-08

09:43 PM - 17 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

The Power of Words
Current mood: grateful
Category: Blogging

Yes, it's me. Yes, I'm slack. Yes, I'm sorry. Yes, I will be making an effort.

As is usually the case, Mikki encapsulated this far better than me...but I'm a lil rusty (It's been so long I'm back at "so which button do I press?" and I'm fairly sure it's gonna get ugly as soon as I try and post this).

I live by the power of words…I make my living from them, I am struck by the power of them and I'm careful with the use of them because of that. And sometimes, it all comes together and…well I have enough for a rant…doesn't do much else but hey.

We misuse words – we proclaim our need for simple…not realising we're actually going for stupid by trying to dumb down the complex into words that are sufficiently short that our lowest common denominator doesn't feel threatened. Not realising we've lost 90% of the true meaning in the process. Not realising we're saying the same soundbyte catchphrases that somebody said ten years ago…and that didn't work then. Not realising we're doing the same things as our schools have done. Not realising we're apologising for being intelligent.

We have the CEO of a publicly-funded organisation saying he's a Libertarian. He's not a Libertarian. We're not sure what he really meant. Rumour has it libertine would fit. We have correction facilities…not jails. We have offenders…not criminals…and they commit offences…not crimes…so much nicer. So much for the victims.

We absolutely love everything… instantly… fervently… passionately… forever… for the 15 seconds it takes for our attention span to move on and then we love something else… instantly… fervently… passionately and forever.

We vaunt our emotions as excuses for our actions. When our actions speak far louder volumes than any words ever could. Our actions reverberate to the very souls of other people. But we have our words. Our excuses. Our claims. Our style, not backed by anything approaching substance.

We have words, and they do have power, if they stand alone. When you know the author of those words, then they can slice to the bone, or they can float on the air as the meaningless wisps of wannabe that they should be. The biggest danger…is wanting to believe those words. If we believe, then the author of those words has power. They have substance. When really, they are nothing more than a fetid swamp of false echoes playing through the winds of your mind.

Just as I do not want baubles and promises and flowers, I want a heart, truly given; I do not want meaningless beautiful lies masterfully rendered. I will always prefer true simplicity, honestly and purely etched. And I am amazingly thankful both exist. It makes dealing with the other so much easier.

Currently listening : Poets & Madmen By Savatage Release date: 2001-04-17

03:36 AM - 24 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

MY Space Commandments
Current mood: restless
Category: Blogging

Sorry I didn't comment on my last blog, for some reason Myspace wouldn't let me; apparently any blogs in 'romance and relationships' don't exist in 'my' world - not even my own (there's an irony there I'm sure).

Anyway, I'd blame Dave for this, but as he noted, I was about ready to snap anyway. It's spring and I've had a bit of a clean out of my page and subscriptions. These are my new commandments that came to mind as I was doing so:

Thou shalt not post seven bulletins a day, every day, unless thou hast included a cure for cancer or similar lifesaving information.

Thou shalt realize that posting the same bulletin more than six times is called spam, as is hawking your sister's/wife's/mother's wares and that thou shalt be dealt with as spam is.

Thou shalt understand that if I did not like thy blog the first five times thou toldest me about it, it is extremely unlikely that I will like it the sixth time thou tellest me.

Thou shalt not comment on my blog and make it patently obvious that thou hast not read my blog. Thou shalt be ignored.

Thou most certainly shall not use my blog just to advertise yourself. Thou art an attention-whore and thy stupid arse needs a boot in it.

Thou shalt not act as if thou hast deigned to come down from Mount Superior-Writer to peruse my meagre offerings. Thou may thinkest thou art 'all that' but thou needs a reality-check. Thou art on MySpace, not shortlisted for the Booker Prize.

Thou shalt not tell me about the power of my kudo. Kudos is not plural, therefore there is no such thing as a kudo. Unless thou art making up new words or believing those that do such things.

Thou shalt not pass off fiction as truth. Thou shalt also try and understand the difference between opinion and truth.

Thou shalt not misspell thy blog titles if thou expectest me to read them.

Thou shalt not involve me in thy Myspace drama. Thou shalt understand that I have enough drama of mine own, I do not need thine. This is particularly so given thy drama tends to be boring, repetitive, pathetic, and indicative of someone who has not gone outside in a decade.

Thou shalt not expectest me to search for funny pictures to posteth on your page, excepteth in certain circumstances where I am feeling nice, or unless I am in very big trouble. Thou shalt understand I am by nature both lazy and a bitch.

Thou shalt understand that sometimes I get busy and do not have time to comment. Thou shalt not take that as a personal affront and realise that thou gets the same understanding from me from time to time.

Thou shalt not post-date thy blogs unless in exceptional circumstances. Few writers write something of enough interest to keep me scrolling down my page for a damn month and thou are most certainly not one of them. If thou needs the reinforcement of a blog ranking on a website, thou shalt remember the adage that even if thou art winning at the Special Olympics, thou art still a damn retard.

Thou shalt also note that Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are popular. Thou shalt also try and understand that that does not maketh them talented. If thou doest not understandeth this, thou art a tosspot.

Thou shalt not expect me to satisfy thy foot-fetish!!

 

Currently listening : Lifestyles: Music for Spring Cleaning By Isaac Albeniz Release date: 11 July, 2000

05:44 PM - 36 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment

Women’s Guide to Men
Current mood: bitchy
Category: Romance and Relationships

Okay, so I'm not what you'd call the most prolific blogger on Myspace. Okay, so it's about quality, not quantity. And I still suck. This I know. I will try to catch up (again) on comments, but don't hold me to that.

Anyway, in the interests of proving I don't hate men, I just hate stupid people, here is the alternative to my previous blog on Men's Guide to Women. This one here is more caustic than sarcastic, but what can I say, I'm a cynical, bitter and twisted individual.

Rule One: Manipulate. Men expect it anyway so what the hell, give in to those baser 'feminine' instincts and manipulate the hell out of them. And it gives the rest of us the challenge of trying to convince them that not all women are passive-aggressive game-players.

Rule Two: Double Standards (see also 'Be Bought'). Look down on hookers/prostitutes/those nasty women who wear low-cut tops. But be quite happy to get the purty shiny in payment for when he cheats on you/beats you/goes missing for six days and turns up with tyre tracks on his jacket. Insist on trinkets/baubles or a new car for anything your friends deem 'dirty'.

Rule Three: Be Bought (see also 'Double Standards' and 'Manipulate').  As long as it's not direct cash he's giving you (and obviously household expenses don't count), you're still able to look down on, well, everyone around you. You can hold your head up high in church knowing you've never stooped as low as some of the 'fallen women' (and that your clothes and jewellery are so much better than theirs). That's what Christianity's all about.

Rule Four: Be a Feminist (see also 'Double Standards'). Of course, you must define feminism as having the right to be a traditional capitalist male. You want that job. He should do at least half the housework. Childcare is obviously where you put kids, otherwise why would it be there? Objectify men at every opportunity but clamour to sue for sexual harassment the first time you hear anything remotely similar from a man. And, of course, when it comes down to it, he should be the one getting out of bed to check for burglars because he's the strong one. However, this physical difference should never apply for any role, job, career or sporting opportunity that you may have your eye on.

Rule Five: Play Dumb (see also 'Double Standards'). This is crucial. Men don't want intelligent women. They need to feel superior. And that's okay, really it is. So prove yourself in the workplace all you like, but when it comes down to it, always defer to a man. Giggle about it to your girlfriends and be sure to shrug delicately and say things like "well, it's just the way men are". Of course, this also covers when you have done something wrong and are caught; it is perfectly acceptable not to act like an adult in these circumstances, but rather to to twirl your hair, bite your lip, look up at him with your big baby blues/browns/greens, and act like a coquette. Of course, if it's big trouble, burst into tears. Sure, he'll never quite treat you like an adult again, but what the hell, you don't want that anyway.

Rule Six: Fixate on Possessions (see also 'Be Bought'). Carry on six-hour conversations about the renovations to your kitchen and be sure to show everybody who visits. The size/quality of your house and possessions is the only true indicator that your partner loves you. On a side note, be sure that it is his money that pays for it all. Your money should be spent however the hell you like, it's your right as a woman. And men like to be the providers, it's just the way they are.

Rule Seven: Be Completely Fucking Illogical (see above). Not only will you give men every opportunity to generalize about women, put their heads in their hands and wonder what the fuck planet we're from, and treat us accordingly; you'll make it bloody near impossible for real women to deal with men without wanting to smack them all in the head! And you get the added bonus of being able to win points with men by agreeing with them that yes, we must be lesbians.

Currently listening : Stupid Girls By Pink Release date: 13 March, 2006

03:03 PM - 16 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment

A Better Place
Current mood: savage
Category: Writing and Poetry

I feel like I should put a caution ahead of this...I'm sorry if I offend anyone, I'm sorry if I cause discomfort...beyond that, I am not sorry. I'm not even sorry for bad poetry.

Apparently
You're in a better place
You couldn't deal with this one

Unfortunately
Your daughters can't sleep without screaming
With their dreams blood red and teeming
Your wife hangs onto reality by a thread
Grief and guilt stricken, hope smashed and love crushed
But she has to deal with it

Unfortunately
Your father shoulders blame like Atlas
And your mother sobs her anguish
Your sister sits alone with shattered fragments
And your brother's just lost
But they have to deal with it

Unfortunately
Each of us now has another mantle of guilt
Choking and constricting
Binding and restricting
We have to stumble on
We have to deal with it

Unfortunately
They love better, or are better, than me
And I will say what they can or will not
I call coward
I call selfish
And I call fool.

Apparently
You're in a better place
Lucky fucking you

Currently listening : Faceless By Godsmack Release date: 08 April, 2003

06:27 PM - 25 Comments - 26 Kudos - Add Comment

Dreaming of Jimmy
Current mood: tired
Category: Writing and Poetry

Okay, so I'm slack. This we all know. And after all this time, you'd think I'd come up with something pretty bloody amazing....you'd be dead wrong. Just to be clear, Jimmy was my horse. A rather magnificent horse. Yes I was incredibly lucky. Yes I've been thinking about horses. I blame Mikki. Jimmy had a fancy racing name, but I don't remember it...I just remember freedom. And I wasn't going to post this because, well, it's crap (yes I know I always say this but you see if I ain't right!!) but then I googled and this...well this is Jimmy, bar the white blaze being smaller...



So that clinched it I'm afraid...herewith, bad poem (I might try reworking it some time, but right now I'm just plain sick of it):


Outside, she commands, she drives and she musters
No fluster, directed energy like a laser
Tightly laced in every way
Sharp, cutting, magniloquently harsh
Thinking five steps ahead
Manoeuvring three steps aside
Scuttling towards shifting sand goals
Everything's fine
No problems here

But deep down inside, deep at the core
Someone is screaming from within the dank mire
"This. Is. Not. Me!"

And that girl is wakeful dreaming
Of rolling surf and magnificent blue
Of hoofbeats on sand, heartbeats in time,
Drumming as the sea air thrums.
Breeze whips her hair and the salt stains her lips
Pure power surging from her hips
Wind-kissed cheeks and sun-clad thighs
In barefoot delight, bareback she rides
The thunderous fall and rise

To race the tide and win, for a heartbeat
Just a heartbeat
Until the breakers take us


Did I say sorry for being slack? Sorry.

Currently listening : Brazen Weep Pt.3 By Skunk Anansie Release date: 17 November, 1997

03:18 AM - 23 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

I wanna whinge
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Life

Now, I'm not a big fan of the whinger...not a fan of the victim...not a fan of the whiny-arsed mealy-mouth whinging fuckheads that generally just make me want to slap 'em...but y'know what....when you're standing in the rain...again...after a day of every goddamn thing that could go wrong going wrong...and in the most annoying inconsequential but oh-so-consequential ways...and you know your make up's ruined and your hair's frizzy, and you're soaked to the bone and you're cold and you're miserable, and you've tried cajoling and you've tried professional and you've tried yelling and hell you've even tried mild flirting to get your way...and it hasn't got you a great goddamn bit anywhere...and all of this is at the end of a frustrating week...of a pissant pillocky month....well then a whinge seems bloody appealing. And yes that is the longest sentence in history.

Anyway, where was I? It's not so much that I don't know that people have it way worse than me...I only have to read the paper to see that. But still...it would be nice to just take your sodden and probably ruined shoes off, throw them at the latest person to piss you off, and just drop to the floor and have a good ol' tantrum, complete with bawling and kicking.

It'd also be so good to grab that bastard by the scrotum, and scream "Do you not understand what kind of day I'm having here?!" It'd be great to just for a few minutes, not give a flying fuck about the consequences and just yell "Why meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" in the highest-pitched most annoying nasal squeal you can muster. It'd be fabulous to just sit down in the foyer and refuse to move with the biggest cutest most irresistible pout EVER until someone does what you want them to do. But I'm not spoilt, really I'm not.

What would be so wrong with just digging in your heels and saying "Don't wanna!" to everything for a day? Most people do that anyway, they just use fancy speak like 'policies don't allow us...' or 'my workload means I won't get to this...'...I say get in touch with your inner 4yo brat and go with pure honesty!!

No, I'm not a fan of the whinger...but I would really really really really like to tell those miserable misbeggoten sonsawhatsits to get their heads out of their arses and be constructive for one goddamn minute in their goddamn day...and then I'd like to tell off whoever's in charge of the weather that there is only so much rain that one person can handle...and that just once.....just fucking ONCE.....could they wait until I remember my umbrella before they make it piss down in a previously perfectly clear sky? Then I'd get started in on that Karma, boy have I ever got a message or two for that cow...I'd like at least an inkling of the fantastic life I previously led...or perhaps the massive carnage I perpetuated...to make me understand this life a lot better....

Then I'd get on to people who deal with me like I'm retarded...I would like to get on to them physically....with something shiny and sharp in my hands...just because I look like a drowned poodle does not mean I have the brains of one!! And while I'm at it, why do I always have to prove I'm right to people....why do I have to wait for them to go....oh yeah...what you said....way back before we ignored it and fucked up...yeah that was actually right...who knew? By the way, would you mind terribly cleaning it up?

"Don't wannnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"

I feel better...thank you.

Still don't like whingers tho'.

Currently listening : Maniacal Renderings By Jon Oliva’s Pain Release date: 01 January, 2007

01:25 AM - 18 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

For Nia
Category: Life

This is Nia Glassie. Please take the time to look into her eyes.

Currently listening : Passion and Warfare By Steve Vai Release date: 24 June, 1997

12:38 AM - 20 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

Nobody
Category: Writing and Poetry

Okay so this is really naff.....but really, whatcha gonna do? And look, pretty pictures!! (Hopefully)

Nobody can be your only light forever
But they can teach you to find the sun wherever




Nobody can fight all your battles for you
But they can show you the warrior within, stalwart and true




Nobody can be your island and withstand all the seas' roars and sighs
But they can be the unyielding rock from which you stand and rise




Nobody can change your history or make you other than you are
But they can help you know that you shine with the light of a star




Nobody can be you, or solve everything for you,
But they are all beautiful and all can be of value




Nobody can be everything to anyone
But yes they can teach you the beauty of the sun

Currently listening : Drops of Jupiter By Train Release date: 27 March, 2001

05:03 AM - 26 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment