Thoughts, rain, giving a damn and Nature spirits
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Religion and Philosophy

               Greetings to the blogging myspace community alike.  I don't usually choose to take the time to blog much but journaling always seems to leave me with a page full of skribbels anyway.  So here is some partially legible text to digest instead.
         I find myself working in the Selway Bitterroot Wilderness as a crew member for the Montana Conservation Corps clearing trail with modern primative tools. On my off time (as I am now) I am crafting all sorts of projects and chours to do while trying to get myself geared toward going back to university. All my friends I started school with are now all graduating and getting jobs while I am starting out again as a 23 year old freshman.  Well I suppose that should keep me out of trouble anyway.
           On my last outing into the work field of the Selways I endoured a great many rain gear failures and the reaction was borderline hypothermia which was pleasently chilly.  I love the rain don't get me wrong nothing can be better but on that perticular day I cursed at the rain and gravity for the pain they were putting my through. I later apologized for I forgot who I was talking to here. Nature, and if nature has taught me one thing, it is do not shit where you eat or bite the hand that feeds you and so on.  Many people freak on the jesus this and jesus that and what about the jesus and jesus invented toaster ovens. But when talking to nature and exaspecially out loud one should refrain from ever talking down on nature because i have come to find out that she's a biter. Its true, even when you talk nice she's a biter but not as hard as when talking negatively. The truth is that mother nature as a hard lady with soft candy.  We all love her for it but we chew the dickens out of her. Even with her hard candy coated shell exterior she weakens with the ever increasing masses nurturing off of her. Drilling into her, warring over her life bloods, and trappeling over her flat, slanted, and high lands.
      The wilderness is the last best place to hide from the truths of the world but the truth is still out there beyond that wilderness border waiting to pounce on you like a hungrey couger when coming back to civilization. As the born agains says don't take the lords name in vain, I shall not curse at nature my Goddess ever again. Not for reasons of fear of being hypothermic but at the nessessary willingness to respect that from which I came in a manor much like honoring ones elders.  Like the spirits of nature I encounter daily living and working in the mothers wilderness. 
       I am finding for myself a connection to nature not so much through my work of clearing trail but simply by being there and contemplating on the good of the land.  My mind sits sometimes on the sadness of how this land came to be called Americas and The lords country for at one time it was its own. And it made home to a great many people, animals, cycles, plant and animal life not yet seen by outsiders.  And we torched it like the Spanish did the Aztecs our ansetors almost did to the Natives of this land. Trails of tears and I weap for them as well.
       I honor this land and the people who once walked this land in honor, for this land of honor knows not honest from dishonest. It is pure, whole, and fertal. It sees not justice from injustice. The tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil is our minds. A gift from nature which our intelect the snake became awair of through our interactions with God/Nature/Aliens/Mushroomz?Trees?
        However there is one truth in nature that is universal of all natures inside and out. If one falls out of his or her or its own true nature, than it can be only natural for a natural selction to take place and remove or reward it.
         All we are is yeast in a jug slowly devowering ourselfs to death. Let us slow this, let there be light on this. Let the masses give a damn! We don't need to poison lakes to save a hybrid trout from taking over a none hybrid territory. It would be too damn hypocritical of us to do so. But we do it. 
          As I try to find my yesterday that fell away from me I wonder, could things ever be the same? Could they be as they once were? Could the cycle be as once was? And I say no but close to it. Maybe in far off generations but not here and not now. This is when they will talk about in the far off, of when things began to change.That's what natures all about is changes. Blessed be to the Earth which grounds and holds all that we know.  Let her be our guide to the future in this ever amorphic world. 
AJ

4:52 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Love, and the people it fucks up
Category: Romance and Relationships

  Ah love, one of the strongest of human emotions if not the strongest.  Love has the power to heal and the power to destroy all in the same feeling.  Many of us have experianced what we believe to be love at one time or another in our earthwalks and for alot of those people it works out or doesn't. 50..50~.  I have as of lately ask myself the question " What good is love to me?"  It always seems to just be a bandaid for my heart.  Healing me just enough to tair a new wound into my allready scared heart.  Should I ever trust again? Of course, someday. All I know now is that when and if I ever happen apon this feeling again I will approach it with a extreme caution.  It really scares me now. Trusting people scares me.  Who is trust worthy out there and how do I know. These are old questions with a new emphisis in my life.  I just hope I can hold out for that one true person I meet someday that isn't a cock thirsty suckubius. I'm sure she's out there so I am just going to take it easy for now. Live life to it's fullest and concentrait on my goals and school.

2:44 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Super Brain Food for the soul.
Category: Life

Oh the days of youth, how they were so careless and worry free. You play, run, jump, hide from aliens, build snow birds.  Living life in laughter.  And As time goes by cares and worries seem to become more important.  You graduate, go to collage, maybe get a degree, pay back 50,000 dollars in student loans and maybe have a little time left to take out a morguage on a home. All so you can get older, work tell your fingers are more scares than fingers, and enjoy life when your bearly able to get up and walk around, not to minchen the lack of sex drive at that age!
   Feel blessed for taking part in this earth walk and rejoice every moment you can forget about the worries of life.  The sun on your face, the wind on your brau, and a cold chill of friendly delighty rising up your spine in these times tells the tale.  That's how you know it's safe to be free.  When you unknowningly rejoice in nature you unknownly pull in the energy of nature.  And that energy is pure gold ore as far as i'm concerned.
Forget, but then remember, but remember to forget again. Take time to rejoice and get lost, but always find your way back and keep a map of how to get lost again.  Remember to forget, not worry, and to be spontainies(with careful planning:) to aid you.

9:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment