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Thursday, June 19, 2008
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I’m selfish
Current mood:  irritated
Category: Blogging
A co-workers father died yesterday... I am very sad for him and his family.
Something happened at lunch, that made me angry and rather upset... it also left me feeling petty and selfish given that a friend just lost his father.
Another co-worker came to my table with not one but two Sympathy cards and was asking for donations for the family.
THAT is what set me off.
MY step-dad died almost a month ago... I didn't get a card, or ANYTHING else for that matter., only a handful of people ever gave their condolences.
At first I thought "well maybe its because everyone knows I didn't like my step-dad", or "because I acted like it didn't bother me and seemed quite cold about it", but NO... all of that is beside the point, he was a part of my life for 33 years. My children LOVED him.
My sister and I sat with his body for 2 hours waiting the funeral home to pick him up, not because we loved him or even liked him, but out of respect for him and for our mother, who was physically unable to stay herself.
Co-workers who have blatantly stated that they HATE their parents, received more sympathy and respect than I have.
I suppose that after 9 years.. I know who my friends are.
As I said, "I'm selfish and petty", I hope God can forgive me for having these feelings, while someone else is grieving for their loved one.
I hope I can forgive myself.
3:08 PM
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
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Forever
Current mood:  crushed
Category: Writing and Poetry
Forever
I'm alone again
He says he loves me
But he's afraid he'll hurt me
I'm scared
I'm confused
I can't stop crying
What now
Be alone forever
Or just lay down and die
Give up
On Loving
On trying to find Love
Why bother
It wasn't meant to be
I was meant to be alone
Forever
© 2008 Poetic Angel
'all rights reserved'
4:40 PM
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Thursday, May 22, 2008
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He’s gone
Current mood:  sad
Category: Blogging
Ok... it finally happened
after 2 weeks in the hosp, my step dad is gone
My mother and step brother,
after discussing it with ALL the doctors
decided to take my step dad off of the respirator today
he died at 3:55pm
I took my mother home, so that she could have her "Alone time"
and went back to the Hosp to stay with my sister and stepdad until
the Funeral home came for the body
No I didn't like the man, but I have known him for 34 years and I'm sad for my mother and my step brother and his family AND for my children,
because above everything else... he LOVED my boys
I made all the notifications to my family and family friends
am extremely exhausted
I will be home tomorrow to help my mom start gettitng things together
Please say a Prayer for my mom and family
Much love,
~Angi
8:22 PM
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Friday, May 16, 2008
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Die already
Current mood:  distressed
Category: Blogging
My stepdad went into the hosp last Thursday night... double pneumonia
Sunday night he had a heart attack...
Tuesday he had 2 more at 8:30 am and 11:30am
and yesterday (Thursday), we were talking about whether or not to...
well you know
This is not hard for me
if the man dies... I don't give a rats ass
he's always been a worthless SOB
mistreats my mother
hits her when she's defenseless
puts me down in frront of my kids
(but not to my face)
you know... a real man
BUT just like my dad
he may not be the best role model in the world
but he loves my boys
and they love him
and this is hard on them
so THAT is hard on me
David saw him today
my sister took him
he cried
David doesn't cry
he's like me
Sean needs to see Grandpa
I can't see my baby in pain
so tomorrow
we walk up to the Hosp
*sighs*
ok... I've finished ranting
Love you all
~Angi
6:21 PM
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Saturday, January 06, 2007
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Faith in You
Current mood:  thoughtful
Category: Writing and Poetry
Faith in you
Dangerous?
No, Sweetie
I see what others cannot see
You could never hurt me
and… I have Faith in you
Temper!
Yes, my Love
I've got one too
Difficult to control, I agree
but…I have Faith in you
Aggression?!
No, Baby
I'm passive, through and through
I know the gentleness in your Heart
and… I have Faith in you
Grief!
Yes, my Darling
I feel the Pain in you
You can't blame yourself for everything
and… she still has Faith in you
Love?
Yes, Beloved
I do love you
You mean the world to me
and… I will always...
Have Faith in …YOU
© 2007 Poetic Angel
For my dearest "GW"…. I love you
4:41 PM
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7 Comments - 8 Kudos
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Friday, January 05, 2007
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I've never...
Current mood:  curious
Category: Writing and Poetry
I've never seen your face,
but you fill my dreams.
I've never heard your voice,
but you I love the way you speak to me
I've never felt your touch,
but I can feel you.
I've never kissed your lips,
but I can taste them.
I've never felt your love,
but...
~Angel
4:28 AM
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
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Angel and Night
Current mood:  romantic
Category: Writing and Poetry
I light a candle
I wait for you
Shadows come
You'll be here soon
Light the Candle,
Think of me
It is I your Nighttime Fantasy
I'll say the verse
Close my eyes
Come through my window
for you my heart cries
Then from the Shadows
to your side I drift
To save your Heart
And Soul bereft
Kiss my lips
Touch my cheek
Feel the Love
My Heart speaks
© Poetic Angel &
Nocturnal Poet
6:39 PM
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Sunday, December 10, 2006
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Magic and Memories... a poem by the Nocturnal Poet
Current mood:  impressed
Category: Writing and Poetry
This was written by my friend the Nocturnal Poet... he is also the inspiration behind my Angel and the Night series. He doesn't post as often as he should... I think he needs more encouragement than just me. Thanks my loves, Poetic Angel
Magic and Memories
Magic and Memories, Moonlight and Might
Do you cry for your lover in the Heart of The Night?
Why did he leave you? What did you say?
Was it something you did? That stood in love's way?
Now your Heart's heavy, your Soul it is lost
Heavily laden with Ashes and Frost
You settle in Darkness and the Memories set in
The long Nights of Romance then Heartbreak and Sin
You cry out in Darkness "I can't take anymore"
"He's with another our love is no more"
And still you remember on hot Summer Nights
A kiss in the Darkness it felt oh so right
But he's with another your Love it is scorn
Your feelings are shattered your Heart has been torn
And feeling your sorrow your hurt and your fright
On the wings of a Blackbird in sweeps The Night
Come Hither My Love as he pulls you near
Walk with me Darling you have nothing to fear
From Darkness I've come to answer your cry
I know of your Love that turned to a Lie
Let me mend your hurt feelings with me you shall ride
Let me share The Night's wonders, the feelings inside
Let the Night work his Magic with the beat of your heart
As I mend your fragil Soul now torn apart
I'll wrap you in Starlight to Nightbirds we'll dance
With Mist at our footsteps if you give me a chance
We'll play in the Shadows at the feet of the Moon
As Dawn is approaching, it's over too soon
Pray call for me Darling when the feeling is right
Call for your Lover, call for The Night
And when Darkness comes and Light fades away
With Magic and Memories I'll come home to stay.
*The Nocturnal Poet
4:20 PM
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