I Wanna Be Beautiful
Category: Music

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
Count on the make-up to cover it all.
Crying myself to sleep 'cause I can not keep their attention
Thought I could be strong, but it's killing me.

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life.

I wanna be beautiful,
Make you stand in awe.
Look inside my heart.
Be amazed.
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
I just wanna be worthy of love
Beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone
Other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory?

I wanna be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am I quite enough
I just wanna be worthy of love an beautiful

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You look inside my heart
And you are amazed
I love to hear you say
Who I am is more than enough
You say I'm worthy of love and beautiful

Currently listening : Bethany Dillon By Bethany Dillon Release date: 20 April, 2004

6:33 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Moving on
Current mood: blank
Category: Life

Saying goodbye to a part of your life you always thought would be there is probably one of that hardest thing you can do. Especially if its a part of your life where you have not only worked hard and really accomplished goals but also learned lessons. For some it brings new light to who you are and where you are going and for others, its just another chapter closed. For me ..I believe it's both. I have closed a very dear chapter of my life right on the edge of starting a new one. and with this closure comes light for new adventures, new memories, new goals to pursue and new lessons to learn. I do not regret leaving my past behind but only that I was shown the road too ubruptly. Things were left unsaid and  time moved too fast. But what I have learned is that important people leave footprints on your soul. They leave you with the knowledge and the skills to move on and make dreams come true on your own. They teach you that life isnt always fair and people arent always truthful. You take these lessons with you as you go forth in life and you treasure the words that are spoken.So although saying goodbye to your past will always be hard, the memories and lessons u have learned will live inside you forever.

Currently listening : Songs of Life By Bret Michaels Release date: 20 May, 2003

6:29 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Being a Mom (Stepmom)
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life

Someone sent this to me and i couldnt find it more fitting. Even though I am not thier biological mom they have never let me feel like i wasnt. To the four beautiful children who have changed my life..I love you all...

I love you Chris, Alex, Tori and Michael...Forever!

Currently listening : Walt Disney Records : Children's Favorite Songs, Vol. 1 : 25 Classic Tunes By Disney Release date: 01 July, 1991

12:26 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Check out this video: 911 loose change pt1

Posted By:tim osman

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

10:34 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

WTF????????????????
Current mood: stressed

i dont understand why is it ok that when someone talks to you like your a child and treats you like your the last important thing on the list, that when you are upset and you want answers and you want to knwo why that it makes you the bad person? why is it that i have to keep how i feel bottled up inside cause i am made to feel like whatever i say means nothing and will never be as important as whats going on in life! i am sorry that my problems dont seem as important as others or that the way i feel is just a miniscule part of the day but they are my feelings and they are my problems. even though you say you dont care doesnt mean i cant hear it in your voice. but when i say i dont care i am uncaring and heartless. why is it that when my life feels like its crashing down around me that there is never anyone there? once again here i am in this world of crap!! sometimes i feel like i am screaming so loud in a room filled with people and no one can hear me!!! why dont you hear me screaming??? my whole life i have been pushed to the side while others live. sometimes i feel like i am suffocating in this life. i know that this word is filled with problems and hurt and hate and greed and just fucked up shit! an i know that my little life means nothing to so many, but my life should mean something to a small group and when that small group turns thier heads when i am pleading for some kind of compassion, should i have the right to scream hey what the fuck???should i have the right to say hey i dont like this? or hey dont fuckin talk to me like that? or if your would just shut the fuck up for one second and listen then maybe you will understand!!but no one does. no one listens. so hear i am silenced again..for how long...who knows. all i know is that everything hurts. i need to smoke.....

1:06 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

You wont ever have to say goodbye...
Current mood: loved

I've been waiting, goin' crazy
I can't sleep when I know you're not around
I've been saving what you're cravin'
Look at my face I'm about to replace
Every hurt, every tear that you cry

Cause when you feel this strong and you can't go on
There's nothing wrong, just try to realize

You won't ever have to say goodbye
You won't ever have to say I've wasted all my time
If the dream you dream ain't what it seems
Just look into my eyes
You won't ever have to say goodbye

I'm just praying, you hear me saying
I'd be there if the sun refused to shine
As the night gets colder I will be your shoulder
I give you my heart until death us do part
Every day, every moment, forever

Cause when the love is strong the feeling's never gone
There's nothing wrong in trying to realize

You won't ever have to say goodbye
You won't ever have to say I've wasted all my time
If the dream you dream ain't what it seems
Just look into my eyes
You won't ever have to say goodbye

Cause when your feeling's strong and you can't go on
There's nothing wrong, just try to realize

You won't ever have to say goodbye
You won't ever have to say I've wasted all my time
If the dream you dream ain't what it seems
Just look into my eyes
You won't ever have to say goodbye

For my Marky

1:07 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

You...
Current mood: hopeful

You got lost, For a while.
You've been trying to find a smile.
You got stood up, then you fell down,
and when you needed , there was no one 'round.
You loved the previews and hate the movie.
You scream at the screen, "Something move me!"
before you start to fade away.

Give me all your fear, Throw it all away.
and think about the good things, no matter what they say,
we'll take tomorrow baby, yeah,
one day at a time.

You just stare into space,
you found love but it got erased,
you're on the road with all the stoplights,
and you're too afraid to turn the wrong from right.
You ate your soul and it made ya fat,
starve yourself from everything else that makes you completely full.
So give me all your fear, throw it all away.
Think about the good things, no matter what they say.
We'll take tomorrow baby, yeah,
one day at a time.

So you run, so you hide,
and you watched as they die,
they all fell, you could fall too,
or you could sew your wings and try to fly right through.

Give me all your fear, throw it all away.
Think about the good things, no matter what they say.
We'll take tomorrow baby, yeah,
One day at a time.
One day at a time.

Currently listening : Left of Self-Centered By Butch Walker Release date: 09 July, 2002

7:18 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

You Said It Butch...
Current mood: relaxed

So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
but I don't ask why

I can feel it in my bones
I'm a careless season it started just the other day
And what'd you expect
that just for no reason I packed it in and drove away
Now I don't mean to pin this one on you, darlin'
It's time I found something good
When it comes right down
You're just one of many people that never really understood

So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
but I don't ask why

As I drove into a city painted on the desert
With everthing 10 miles high
Hard to believe that nobody will see what I see
Through my blood shot eyes
Now I don't mean to sound so young and naive
But I think we've found something good,
And now I can feel me leaving who I used to be
As we're driving into Hollywood

So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
but I don't ask why
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
And now I know why

I can feel it in my bones
I'm a careless season it started when I woke today
And now that I'm here
It's all so very clear
The reason that I drove away
Now I don't mean to call so early now, darlin'
But the waves just feel so good
And I'll always come around
And watch the sun go down
Just like you knew I would

So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
but I don't ask why
So at last southern California
Sun sets like a long goodbye
I've been dreaming about it for days
And now I know why

Currently listening : Letters By Butch Walker Release date: 24 August, 2004

12:28 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

i wanna be beautiful...
Current mood: crushed

My dad told me today that i need to do somthing about the way i look. he said that i need to work harder and go to the gym more. it doesnt matter that i have already lost like 60lbs!  he said " Cat, dont worry...one day you will be beautiful!"... well dad i didnt realize till right now that i wasnt! not that i thought i was just oh so beautiful..no its not like that! but i didnt think i was ugly....yeah ..i know..thanks Dad!

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
Count on the make-up to cover it all.
Crying myself to sleep ‘cause I can not keep their attention
Thought I could be strong, but it’s killing me.

Does someone hear my cry?
I’m dying for new life.

I wanna be beautiful,
Make you stand in awe.
Look inside my heart.
Be amazed.
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
I just wanna be worthy of love
Beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone
Other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won’t you help me back to glory?

I wanna be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am I quite enough
I just wanna be worthy of love an beautiful

Currently listening : The Beautiful Sessions By Bethany Dillon

10:54 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

fly away from here...
Current mood: bored

i need a road trip! anyone wanna come!

gotta find a way
yeah, i can't wait another day
ain't nothin' gonna change
if we stay 'round here
gotta do what it takes
cuz it's all in our hands
we all make mistakes
yeah, but it's never too late
to start again, take another breath
and say another prayer
and fly away from here
anywhere, yeah, i don't care
we'll just fly away from here
our hopes and dreams are
out there somewhere
won't let time pass us by
we'll just fly
if this life gets any harder now
it ain't ,no, never mind
you got me by your side
and any time you want
yeah, we can catch a train and
find a better place
yeah, cuz we won't let nothin'
or no one keep gettin' us down
maybe you and i
can pack our bags and hit the sky
and fly away from here
anywhere, yeah i don't care
we'll just fly away from here
our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
won't let time pass us by
we'll just fly
do you see a bluer sky now?
you can have a better life now
open your eyes
cuz no one here can ever stop us
they can try but we won't let them
no way
maybe you and i
can pack our bags and say goodbye
and fly away from here
anywhere, honey, i don't care
we'll just fly away from here
our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
fly away from here
yeah anywhere honey
i don't i don't i don't care
we'll just fly...

Currently listening : Just Push Play By Aerosmith Release date: 06 March, 2001

11:05 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment