Astrocan American Anthem

If there's a pecking order on the phantasmal farm, and there certainly is, numero-uno is the Astrocan American. Well, the farm itself is a living being, but the farm requires the Astrocan Americans as much as Astrocan Americans require the farm.

Other than a few intelligent gases, they are the only free thinking entities to exist within the farm's quad dimensional boundaries. Subsequently, they are the primary artists behind the farm's unquestionable beauty. Their purpose is simply to create.

Much like myself, they are a very slender people, though their bodies are not shaped from the same amino proteins that humans need. They require a steady stream of ill beats to grow and evolve. This track here has nurtured them for generations and it will continue to do so. It is to them what fiber is to humans. It helps them poop.

Click here to listen to the new track and be sure to leave comments under the posting on the website.

12:12 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Barn Party

Your friends are all barn animals. You, yourself, are a barn animal, one of many cattle to be precise. Tomorrow…you'll be hamburger, so tonight is YOUR night. Goats, chickens, and hogs gather from the far reaches of old man McGukin's 100 acre farm to salute you. It's been a good run. Not a great run, but a good one. It's time to tell that little heifer how you really feel. And go ahead, sample your own milk. Heck, why not take a victory lap around the barnyard with your homeboys. You deserve it. But remember noble one, in the coming weeks, your flanks will feed four families of four. Hold your head high my dear and enjoy the Barn Party.

Click here to play song.

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360 Degree View of the Phantasmal Farm (NEW TRACK!!)

At this stage of the game, very few individuals know of the Phantasmal Farm. It is time to change that, though information must be revealed gradually for reasons of your sanity. You see, this farm is a farm that exists only within the realm of information. You can't Google maps it. You can't arrange an eco-farm travel adventure for you and your family. You can't sign up for the Phantasmal Farm CSA. Knowing the Phantasmal farm is like knowing your dreams, intimately. You might struggle mightily to understand it, you might not. It is important to note here that I can never show you the barn door, I can only hold it open for you. You must find it for yourself. OK…since most of us here are newbies, I thought it would be best to start things off with a 360 degree view of the farm. Well, actually it is only a preview, so at this point its about 90 degrees or so. Anyways, hopefully this helps lube your rototiller.

Click here to hear the track. Be sure to leave comments.

10:48 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Halifax, Nova Scotia added to the tour list
Category: Music

Halifax, Nova Scotia has officially been added to the tour list. That makes four cities officially or is it five? For those who are unaware, I have scheduled a tour for this summer. If you can get your city up to 40 demands, your city will be next. So if Hudson, WI and Halifax can do it, I'm sure some of the bigger metro areas can as well. Rally the troops!

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Interview with Tunequest

Yet another interview has been published on the fabled Tunequest.org. I encourage all listeners and readers to delve into these glimmers of who the polish ambassador really is.  An excerpt, to tickle your taint.

Tunequest: Where can all the kids get their own Polish Ambassador Jumpsuit?

The Polish Ambassador: You must collect 10,000 proofs of purchase from Cap'n Crunch Crunchberry cereals (part of a complete breakfast), send them into General Mills, and then in 6 to 8 months you'll get your very own one-size-fits-all Ambassador gear. Easy, right?

Read more here.

3:06 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Carpal Tunnel Mag Review

I have been interviewed by the highly-esteemed Carpal Tunnel Magazine. Its fantabulous. Here is an excerpt to wet your whistle.

Carpal Tunnel Mag: Where are you from?

The Polish Ambassador: That's too complicated to truly get into. I am a child of the heavens, half brother to the earth, bastard nephew to the winds of time, and a descendant of the cosmos. Actually, that wasn't too complicated at all.

Read the rest of the interview here. Scroll down a little ways. Its the 4th interview. You'll see my grille.

1:53 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Diplomatic Immunity Review: Webomatica

I asked Nick over at Tunequest.org for a few refferals of other blogs that would be interested in reviewing Diplomatic Immunity. He referred me to Jason over at Webomatica.com. So, out went a copy of Diplomatic Immunity and in comes another review. Jason posts multiple times daily and has quite a readership, so this review should help spread the word a bit. I'd encourage you to subscribe to his feeds. He'll keep you abreast on latest internet services, everything Apple, favorite James Bond moments, and even a little Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica from time to time. Here's the review. Stop everything you are doing and read it.

Diplomatic Immunity Review: Webomatica.com

PS - remember to snatch some free ringtones while they last and be sure to stop by my website and comment.

6:25 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Houston Makes The Cut!

Houston recently reached the 40 person mark on Demand It, so they are the next city guaranteed to be on the tour (which is most likely happening this summer). So, again, if you can get your city up to 40, you will be officially added to the tour schedule, otherwise, its going to be a crap shoot. Signing up is easy, so no need to email me saying, "I'm not going to sign up for the demand it, but you should come to 'enter your city's name here.'" Additionally, I'll be looking for people to help with booking pretty soon. So if you operate within that realm, or are planning to, get in touch with me!  Oh, also videographers. I need those too. 

8:13 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Diplomatic Immunity Review: Tunequest.org
Category: Music

Tunequest.org is another well recognized music blog extending the far reaches of cyberspace. Headed by Nick Freeman, a devotee to Star Trek, video games, technology, robots, space travel, and internet trends, he falls directly into The Polish Ambassador's target market. I asked him to do a review, which he gladly did and it is a great one. Here is an excerpt, but you should most definitely check this one out, and also click through Nick's site quite a bit, Its bursting with content. Thanks Nick!

The influence of early game music and culture is unmistakable here, from sounds themselves (Infiltrating the U.N. features a direct SFX sample) to the bit-mapped pixel art that adorns the disc and jewel case. These instrumental tunes could almost be the soundtrack to their own game, circa 1985.

I say almost because the passage of 20+ years means the The Ambassador is not restricted to the meager capabilities of an ancient game console. Where those compositions would end, Diplomatic Immunity takes off, adding fantastic beat after fantastic beat. This stuff is so groovy that each listen has the potential to kick-start the best damn dance party this side of Canopus.

Read the rest of the review here.

5:57 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Featured on Humble Voice

I don't even know how I found out about this website, but it was definitely stumbled upon. I think I was looking at Wordpress themes and someone had designed a blog after the Humble Voice website theme, and thus I was led to the community. Anyways, I'm glad I found it. The site is an online community specifically targeting artists. From writers, to musicians, to videographers, to graphic designers, to painters, to photographers, all are welcomed and given the appropriate tools to showcase their work. I normally don't plug services unless they are of value to me and the readers of this blog, so if you are any type of artist, I'd recommend getting yourself an account. Its quick and painless. You can check out mine here.

As of last night, the powers that be at Humble Voice featured The Polish Ambassador on their homepage. I have already met a couple graphic artists over there that are interested in doing some artwork for future polish ambassador releases. Although traffic levels to my website have not drastically increased, visitors from the Humble Voice community are all artists that will potentially want to build with you, which in my eyes is an invaluable resource. Thanks for the great service, Humble Voice!

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