Across the Universe

I'm in love with Across the Universe. I found this little player with the soundtrack! ENJOY!

10:14 PM - 7 Comments - 13 Kudos - Add Comment

He had me hypnotized!
Current mood: imaginative

Yesterday I got off work early, at 4pm. At the Improv, we had Flip Orley... comic hypnotist.

I was very interested in how that works with comedy. I have done some meditations and other hypnotic cd’s, but never thought it would work with comedy.

Let’s preface this story with the fact that I had talked to Flip a few times, we found out that we are both from Arizona. When you meet a fellow native, it’s a rarity and a chance to reminice about what made Phoenix great, and how it’s gone to shit... so I had built up some trust. I decided to check out the show. My best friend’s babydaddy came to make sure I wasn’t hypnotized into running off with Flip.

Flip did some stand up and then asked for volunteers. I went up there. I mean, I wanted it to work and be awesome.... but I wasn’t sure if it could. The only hypnosis cd’s I did were to relax and dream. I’m a trained actress, and I think I can recognize acting when I see it. So I was also interested in being up close with the others to see if I felt like any of them were acting.

I don’t want to shit in Flips punch bowl, but I’ve been trying to figure it out ever since it happend, kinda like if you see a magic trick, you want to know how it was done, how it could trick you like that.

I think that it had to do with the lighting as well as patterning suggestions. We started out looking at a crystal ball. He told us that the crystal ball was just something to focus on, and he guided our breating. I almost felt like I was doing a new drug for the first time with a friend who had did a lot of it. He guided us through it. My eyes would start to burn and I would blink a lot, then he would say that our eyes may be getting heavy, and burn, etc. Since he was kinda telling me what I was going through as it was happening I gave in to it and trusted it. He had us close our eyes and gave us a suggestion that we were going to forget the answer to his question when he called on us to answer it. I thought that was silly.He started asking the people, some of them remembered... some of them didn’t. When he got to me, I forgot what he asked me. Then I remembered he asked my name and replied, Alana. I thought "ha! it didn’t work on me." I had remembered that his suggestion was that I would forget the answer, not the question. He asked us to close our eyes again, each time I closed my eyes I felt more tired, each time a noise distracted me I cared less about that noise, and what it was... more about finding something in my brain. I felt like I was listening to him with out my ears. The reason I say this is that it was really hard for me to understand a word he was saying. When he was giving suggestions to other people, or ones I thought were silly, it was almost like his words were boucing off walls in to each other. When he sat down int he empty chair next to mine I could feel his energy and hear his words more clearly.

With each suggestion I could feel the lights going up and down. I knew stuff was going on around me, but I was more tuned in. At first I thought that the lights going up and down was my mind going on and off, but as I was looking in to my mind I could feel my pores opening and closing when the lights got hotter and cooler. The whole time I was trying to analyze what was happening to me, and it was kinda psychadelic..

He suggested to us that his clothes would fall off his ass when he was talking. I have preconceived notions about road comic ass, and I felt so badly for him, but thought it was funny as hell! The way it looked to me, and this is very interesting. I could tell he had clothes on, but my eyes thought that those clothes were the same as his skin. I don’t know how to explain it with out sounding like a colorblind person trying to describe what the color green looks like to them.

He made another suggestion about him being super hung or something, but I felt like it was innapropriate for me to catch a glance, especially with all my coworkers around... and couldn’t bring myself to really look at him, only the other people on the stage to see what their reactions were.... Especially the dudes on stage. There was one chick I really thought was faking it, but the white dude was kinda angry and shocked looking and the black dude was just plain shocked.

The order of the suggestions is getting a bit hazy at this point. I think the next one was that I worked for Disney Land Theme Parks as Cinderella and I got in trouble, the cops were called on me and I had to take a character anger management class or something. I remember just not wanting to be there at all, and then he pointed at me, did you work at disney land? I said yes. He started to ask me other questions and I remember thinking, uhg it was such a horrible job and I’m over it. I don’t remember what all I said about it, but he must have gotten the vibe that I couldn’t give two shits about it, and he moved on to other people who were feeling that suggestion more than I was. I remember in my mind I took real life experiences from my past to make sense of me working at Disney Land. I recalled a monologue I had done about the Wicked Queen from Cinderella, I remember working at a movie theater dressed up like Cruella DeVille when I was sixteen... and those memories combined were tricking me in to thinking I was working at Disney Land.

THIS IS THE BEST PART!!! Aparently he told us that we weren’t going to leave our seats, but I don’t remember that. I don’t remember any of the other suggestions until he came and sat down next to me. He told me that when I heard him say "Ladies and Gentlemen" I was going to think that he was being incredibly rude and hateful to the audience, I was going to tell him to stop. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me that I was going to be offended and want him to correct his behaviour. Sure enough we open our eyes and he thanks us for being part of his show, and turns and addresses the crowd, ladies and gentlemen. My jaw dropped and I looked around to see if any of the floor guys were on their walkies. I let it slide, thinking... it aint my fuckin’ job to fix this mess! Then he did it again, ladies and gentlemen. I don’t know how to explain it, but in my mind... he may as well have flung poop at every person in there. I remember a million thoughts flashed through my mind. I stood up and tried to get flip to talk to me with out the mic. I told him I didn’t think he should address the crowd like that. I asked him to please fix it and move on. He said I’d like to apologize ladies and gentlemen. Then I got really mad. I was hurt he would put me int hat kind of position, when he knew I worked there. I asked the audience if I was wrong, and if they were okay with it. A guy down near the front yelled out NO! That’s when I got really pissed. I thought about how I had probably sold tickets to atleast a third of the people in there, I told lots of people that it must be a great show because the seats fill up fast... I was worried about all my new friends at the improv who are servers, waiters, and food runners... I thought they would be stiffed on tips. I thought about who ever is scheduled to work in the box office today having to take hundreds of angry phone calls of people asking for refunds! I was so pissed I was shaking and I walked right off that goddamned stage! I was looking for our General Manager, Angelique. I love her, that chick takes so much shit from people, but she knows when not to take shit. I just knew in my heart that she wasn’t going to take this shit. I saw a few of my coworkers standing near the exits not helping me out, and I was pissed at them. I busted into the lobby, and found Heather... another one of our managers. God I wish I could remember everything I said to her. I was so concerned that I had already stepped out of line, but I felt like I was the one on stage when it happend and that I needed to make sure the matter was resolved. She told me that she couldn’t come out there, and that she thought I was handling it well, to go out there and tell him it wasn’t right and put him in his place. I still felt really uneasy about it, and turned to our head floor guy and told him that this was his job. He told me to handle it.... so then I was getting pissed at my coworkers for not doing their jobs and making me take care of this stuff on my night off. I asked Phil, to come with me or something and he told me to go back up there and that he would be in the room. Soo I walked back up there and told Flip that he was playing at the Improv and I know that he has played shows there before, they went great and I just couldn’t understand why he would want to close his week out like this. I wanted to tell him off for having all of his shows go late... people were leaving so entertained, and he has to fuck up his final show, and the one I was there for. I told him him it was so sad because his show was going really great until the end. I remember asking him, what the fuck? I honestly felt all shakey and felt like I was going to cry. I felt like I was probably going to get fired after having to deal with heavy shit.... and it was my night off. I felt like a douche bag for having to take action.... but when I looked out to the audience I saw people who were whispering amongst themselves and they all looked shocked and angry to me. I looked to my left and right and straight out hoping to find some of our floor staff there, ready to have my back but instead I felt like they were all stading around not even paying attention to the show. I was pissed at all of them. I was embarrassed, and genuinely felt bad for all the people who paid to be there.

I don’t remember if there was another suggestion after that. My emotions were pretty worked up. I just remember when I was finally out of the hypnosis that I was able to see the humor in everything. It was weird though because I didn’t laugh at all during the show. I wasn’t involved in it like that, until the end and it was all over. I felt like it was still 8pm ish even though it was 11 ish!

He told us that we would remember everything, and I probably do, but it feels like a dream. Like I remember it if something reminds me about it, but it was something I woke up from.

1:03 PM - 5 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

2008, aint it great...
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life

Well, the familiar songs rang out everywhere. It's the start of a new year. Everything you said you'd get to... you officially never got to. 

2007 was a crazy year. More of my friends and family got married, engaged, and started families. My little sister got a job in Texas and is moving out there (tonight) to be closer to her boyfriend. (who better treat her well)

I took more risks than I ever had, and most of them panned out. The ones that didn't... didn't phase me. I just learned a little from it, and picked up where it left me. I am still finding out about what I love to do, and working at getting better at it. I have been very lucky to have loved ones who are always encouraging me!

I have a lot of people who love me, as much as I need. There are also a lot of people I love as much as I can. I feel like the year is starting off better than most of them have. I have a lot of hopes for the year 2008.

I hope that my friends and family all find happiness everyday. That everyone laughs a lot everyday. That my friends and family who didn't get to make it to 2008 will stay in my heart and memory for my whole life. I hope that everyone I know and love makes it thru to 2009.

Currently listening : Imagine By John Lennon Release date: 11 April, 2000

7:28 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Damn birds!
Current mood: tired

Today a bird pooped on me. It just barely grazed me, but it got me none the less. It just happend to be on a day when I feel sick already. So it sucked, but I gotta admit, it was funny.

Birds are such weird animals. They just fly around and poop freely with no back up plan to get rid of it. Fuckin' birds!

I took it as a sign that I need to take another shower, relax, and really appreciate the times in my life when I am not being shit on.

11:08 PM - 9 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

I thought I had a FRIEND in the digital age, damn it!
Current mood: Not lettin' "the man" get me down
Category: Not lettin' "the man" get me down Life

Well the honey moon is over. I totally had this awesome friend... from the digital age. Only, now I don't even know who they are anymore.

My last few conversations over the phone have sucked dearly.

So my friend Cox was supposed to hook me up with digital telephone since Qwest lost their spirit to serve. That's a whole nuther story that I'd rather not get into, but I could hear it in their voice, through their *crystal clear phone line* that they just lost their "spirit to serve" So I cancelled the service at the end of the billing cycle.

I called Cox...you know, my friend in the digital age. Man, this guy Keith (he works at Cox) said he's hookin me up with the movie tier. Well, I'd rather not. I already tend to be a home body... What's that? Free with the "bundle service".... well, right on. But what about the installation, that can't be easy! Oh but it is! It's free installation and they don't even need to come inside, they only need to have access to the phone line and cable. The only bummer, I had to wait a week for it to be installed... but my friend in the digital age let me pick out my phone number. That's pretty awesome buddy. Thanks.

So, the day finally arrives and my "friend" is supposed to come by and hook up my phone. They didn't say when they'd be here.

Hmmm.

No word.

I better call and check on them. So I called and Trudy said that they would be by sometime before 6. The contractors are very busy hooking up their other friends. Well, that sucks, but whatever.

8:30 rolls up, and I was like.... oh no, they didn't!

They didn't call, they didn't show up. They didn't do anything.

I call up right away! Maria, what is the meaning of this? ( a new rep, stay with me) Well, apparently my "friends from the digital age" stopped by and left on their "notes" that there was no access to the cable. Weird because the alley behind my house was totally open and oddly enough, free of any vehicles including a "cox communication" truck... all day long. Well she didn't know what was happening because she is a sales friend so she had to transfer me to my cable phone technical support friend, Paul. That's when Paul told me that he would have my friends in the dispatch company who dispatched my crummy friend, call me and tell me why their contractor said that there was no access and that I had to pay fourty dollars to have it "professionally installed" They would call me between 8-6 and straighten this out... so the phone will be on real soon. 29 minutes later Thanks Paul. "No thank you, Alana, for choosing Cox communications, your friend in the digital age"

Well the next day 8-6 blew right by. No word from dispatch or datpatch. So I figure I better see what's goin' on with our digital friend. What's the dilly Mitsy? Well, I'm sorry they didn't call you like they said, but they scheduled your "professional installation". It's $40 and it is scheduled for July 9th.

WHAT?! But Keith said it was free. I already waited a WEEK. July 9th is totally not cool Mitsy. Well, she's just my sales friend... so she needs to get James, my technical phone support friend to find out if we can get that date pushed back. My "friend" James was friendly enough, but he wasn't really friend material. The "professional install" went down to $4.95 and it turns out that movie tier costs 5.00 a month, he's not sure why Keith told me it was free with my "bundle package"

So, what's goin' on Cox? I want service and all you want to do is find out if I want to sign up for your easy payment methods and talk to me about my bundle package.

I mean, I like you... but I don't really "like you, like you."

Because I don't know what crowd you're running with... but my friends, whether they are from the digital age, the space age, the new age, or any other age... they aren't such corporate douchebag fuckers!

Would friends pass you off on other subcontracted friends?

Would a friend say that they would help set up your phone and then get all douche bag about it and say, tell ya what how about in about 6 weeks?

My friends wouldn't do that. They might puke on my shoes a bit after a rough night, bum too many smokes off me, accidentally put a cig out in my Dr. Pepper that I just opened...hell they might even get me sick with their germs they prolly got from their kids or some random bar whore.

but you know what they wouldn't do?

They wouldn't tell me they were going to be there and not be there, with out a phone call. Then put me off for a month.

No my friends would show up half an hour late the day they were supposed to.

My "friends" always do two things...(other than show up a little late)

1. make it up somehow if they fuck up a bit, and 2. smoke me out if they got it.

If Cox can't handle that, those two little things, we can't really be "friends"....

 aquaintences in the digital age, maybe.

thanks to the friends who'd clean their puke off my shoe with a hose, buy me a pack when they've bummed way too much, and get up and get me a dp after making a new ashtray of the old one.

slack be with you.

xoxo

11:17 PM - 20 Comments - 29 Kudos - Add Comment

In the past 48 hours I've only slept for 2, ah the movie biz
Category: Life

Tonight I was talking about myspace, with someone who doesn't have a myspace. I told them that I blog about anything in my life that I think people would care to know about.

Normally my blogs are written when I am deprived of sleep. I am completely honest in my blogglings, and there has not been a topic off limits for me. This includes my Peter Pan Peanut Butter Diarrhea log (aka. my brown log blog)

Then my buddy Special effects Mike (who has no myspace) said, "Oh cool, so maybe I'll get to read about what you're doing here!

Fuck guys, I never thought you may actually care to read about what I have been working so hard at lately. I told Mike that you guys just want to read my mindless songs and about diarrhea. But hey, if you want to know more about me read on.

I worked as a PA on "The Kingdom" it's a Universal Studios film starring Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, etc. It was a crazy amount of work packed in to a fuckin long, long day. I got addicted to the movie set though. I had so much fun working with such amazingly talented crew members. It made me think of movies from a production point of view which gave me a new found respect for ALL the work that goes in to the movie, not just the actors.

I got hooked, the movie set is a great place. Addicted  is the only way I can put it. I put my body through so much, I'm exhausted, but no matter if I get one hour sleep or five ( haven't had more than five hours while working on a movie yet) I'm ready for call time and more than ready to do it all better than yesterday.

So after wrapping on the Kingdom I started ressearching things, trying to get on another set, when I was cast as a featured extra on a Discovery Channel/BBC show called "Futureshock: Comet" I was a college student, with a couple speaking lines.That's when I found out that "Kids in America" starring Topher Grace, Anna Faris, Dan Fogler, and Chris Pratt is shooting in AZ. So I tried to get work on that set. It didn't seem like they were going to need me, and so I started trying to find some more stuff to work on... then out of the blue, I got the call to be an extra. So far the past 4 nights of filming have been a blast, I'm working with a lot of great people I worked with on  "The Kingdom" and "Future Shock" And I am working with a lot of "new" (to me) great people too.

So when can you see it?

Well, The Kingdom is set to come out in September. Future shock will play in England, France, and Australia this fall, and it will air in the USA on The Discovery Channel  in about a year... and it's still too early to say when Kids in America will come out.

That's all lately.

I need to stop writing now, and get a little sleep before doing it all again, later tonight. We don't have to be to set until 8 pm, but that means we probably won't get out until 10am or so.

9:15 AM - 12 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

The case of my mysterious diarrhea
Current mood: loved
Category: Parties and Nightlife

I'm eatting better, drinking more water....

I've been cleaning the house, going to the grocery store, cooking meals, and gettin' shit done. Now....Let's cut to the day after I cleaned my toilet bowl. (oh irony)

I woke up, had a good cereal breakfast, then a little later on that day I had some cellery and peanut butter. Mmmmm. Good stuff right? Yeah.

You wouldn't expect to get explosive diarrhea from it, but that's what happened to me, and Thad. The peanut butter I bought was Peter Pan Peanut butter, on the top of the lid, the numbers start with 2111- which is the Georgia plant that is putting out Chunky Peanut butter with 100% more salmonella. The CDC had been investigating an outbreak of more than 300 (reported) cases and five reported in AZ and traced it back to that peanut butter. What the fuck Peter Pan! Hey look I can fly too, fly to the toilet!

Salmonella isn't just diarrhea, nope it's way more fucked up. Fevers, chills, having to make sure your intestines didn't shoot out your ass with the last eruption. So, what does the company have to say to the consumers who got salmonella from their product? Bring the lid of your jar to the store to get a refund.

Consumer: I had diarreah for two weeks, here's my peanut butter jar lid.

Grocery clerk: Here's two dollars.

Gee. Thanks.

I'm sure that there are soooo many people out there who got sick off their shitty shit splatter inducing peanut butter, but they didn't know why their asses were gushing. There's gotta be countless more who didn't have a doctor treat them. They've been putting out diarrhea inducing peanut butter since May!!! If you haven't been feeling well, seriously....

Check yo' peanut buttah!!

10:04 PM - 11 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

¿que pasa? Rogan vs. Mencia
Current mood: amused
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

It's all too Hollywood for me to really give a shit, but Joe Rogan & Carlos Mencia's quarrel has reached an all new level, and I thought it was funny enough to be blog worthy. In order to really understand what's happening, you have to watch this video posted by my myspace friend Redban.

After "Carlos" started the pissing match with Rogan, they ended it by agreeing too disagree. Rogan posted the event on youtube, then Carlos had the video pulled from youtube. He claimed that it was "copyright infringement" I bet "Kramer" wished he could have claimed "copyright infringement" and had his infamous "N word rant" pulled off you tube, but I digress.

There was never a physical altercation, but Carlos had the Comedy Store cancel Rogan's other shows and ban him, saying Carlos felt threatened. Many people called them about it, but they were all promptly hung up on. That wasn't enough for Mencia. He and Rogan have the same agent, and Carlos, with the wisdom of a two year old, devised a plan... make them choose... him or me! So Rogan's agent dropped him.

I think it's awesome that Rogan is letting everyone know what a hack Mencia is, at the risk of looking like an angry ex girlfriend. I wonder why Rogan takes it so personally. Has Joe's material been stolen? Or is he upset that other people's stuff was stolen and not his? I think it's just one of those things, you see something happen so much, then it comes to a point where you're sickof it... and you aren't gonna take it anymore. I don't know. What I do know is that Mencia has completely stolen material and he should be paying out some meals/copy/credit  and cash to the people who came up with it. He can deny it, but it doesn't change the facts.

The saddest thing is... people who like Mencia will like him even if they know for a fact that he steals his material, they don't care. They are used to watching reality tv shows and other scripted tv. I just wish tht Mencia would put the real comedians  names in the writing credits, then people could see the Mencia act performed by a funnier and more inventive comedian at half the price.

PS... be sure to come out to the Comedy Butthole in Beaverton and see me do Dane Cook's set live.... you know, all Louis C.K.'s stuff!  

It's gonna be fresh. Bring your bachelorette party!

9:36 AM - 7 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Sunday bloody Sunday
Current mood: good
Category: News and Politics

It's another George W. Bush music video!

Enjoy.

12:58 AM - 6 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

No star for you! Pagans need love too.
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Religion and Philosophy

At the Veterans Memorial Cemetery in the small town of Fernley, Nev., there is a wall of brass plaques for local heroes. But one space is blank. There is no memorial for Sgt. Patrick D. Stewart.

That's because Stewart was a Wiccan, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs has refused to allow a symbol of the Wicca religion -- a five-pointed star within a circle, called a pentacle -- to be inscribed on U.S. military memorials or grave markers.
 
The department has approved the symbols of 38 other faiths; about half of are versions of the Christian cross. It also allows the Jewish Star of David, the Muslim crescent, the Buddhist wheel, the Mormon angel, the nine-pointed star of Bahai and something that looks like an atomic symbol for atheists.

Stewart, 34, is believed to be the first Wiccan killed in combat. He was serving in the Nevada National Guard when the helicopter in which he was riding was shot down in Afghanistan last September. He previously had served in the Army in Korea and Operation Desert Storm. He was posthumously awarded a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star.

His widow, Roberta Stewart, scattered his ashes in the hills above Reno and would like him to have a permanent memorial.

She said the veterans cemetery in Fernley offered to install a plaque with his name and no religious symbol. She refused.

"Once they do that, they'll forget me. They don't like having a hole in the wall," she said. "I feel very strongly that my husband fought for the Constitution of the United States, he was proud of his spirituality and of being a Wiccan, and he was proud of being an American."

Wicca is one of the fastest-growing faiths in the country. Its adherents have increased almost 17-fold from 8,000 in 1990 to 134,000 in 2001, according to the American Religious Identification Survey. The Pentagon says that more than 1,800 Wiccans are on active duty in the armed forces.

Wiccans still suffer, however, from the misconception that they are devil worshipers. Some Wiccans call themselves witches, pagans or neopagans. Most of their rituals revolve around the cycles of nature, such as equinoxes and phases of the moon. Wiccans often pick and choose among religious traditions, blending belief in reincarnation and feminine gods with ritual dancing, chanting and herbal medicine.

Federal courts have recognized Wicca as a religion since 1986. Prisons across the country treat it as a legitimate faith, as do the Internal Revenue Service and the U.S. military, which allows Wiccan ceremonies on its bases.

"My husband's dog tags said 'Wiccan' on them," Stewart noted.

But applications from Wiccan groups and individuals to VA for use of the pentacle on grave markers have been pending for nine years, during which time the symbols of 11 other faiths have been approved.

Department spokeswoman Josephine Schuda said VA turned down Wiccans in the past because religious groups used to be required to list a headquarters or central authority, which Wicca does not have. But that requirement was eliminated last year, she noted.

"I really have no idea why it has taken so long" for the Wiccan symbol to gain approval, Schuda said.

The department declined repeated requests from The Washington Post to speak to higher-ranking officials about the issue.

Retired Army Chaplain William Chrystal, a United Church of Christ minister who was chaplain of Stewart's National Guard unit, has strongly backed Roberta Stewart's request.

"It's such a clear First Amendment issue, I can't even conceive of why they are not granting it, except for political reasons," he said. "I think the powers that be are afraid they'll alienate conservative Christians if they approve a symbol that connotes witches and warlocks casting spells and brewing potions."

Nevada's congressional delegation, including Senate Minority Leader Harry M. Reid (D), also has supported Roberta Stewart.

But letters printed by Nevada newspapers indicate how much hostility Wiccans face. "I don't see how anything that supports witchcraft and satanism can legitimately be called a religion," one reader wrote to the Reno Gazette-Journal.

Stewart said that she is trying to educate people about Wicca, as well as to fulfill her husband's wishes. "Until he is laid to rest," she said, "I cannot rest."

***UPDATE***

Well, if you wrote to the VA office like I did, thank you. Looks like the pentagram has been approved to be a religious marker on grave sites. Here's the story!! -Alana

11:04 AM - 15 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment