God’s Will? Are You Sure?
Current mood: contemplative

10:17 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Don’t Miss This...
Current mood: inspired

I was going through my journal this morning and reflecting on a story that was highlighted at the conference I went to last weekend.  So just as I promised, here you go!  We focused on a story that is usually used to teach hypocrisy.  But there is a story that is much more important...

In Luke 13 there is a story about a woman who was sick for an extremely long time.  She was hunched over, and couldn't straighten herself.  If you think about it, someone can miss a lot when they are hunched over.  You cannot see the tops of a mountain, or gaze at the stars in the evening sky, or even look someone in the eye. 

This woman was sitting in the synagogue and Jesus was teaching.  She had faith that he could heal her, yet didn't speak up.  Hello!!!  The one you can heal you is right there and all you have to do is speak up.  All she had to do was say, "Down here, Lord.  Down here..."  He surely would have listened.  She must have been flled with something that weighed her down, that kept her from speaking to Jesus.  Was it her fear?  Shame?  Doubt?  Pain?

Just as this woman may have been feeling these things, we feel them as well.  But just because we feel these things and cannot speak up for ourselves does not mean that God doesn't know us.  In the story Jesus sees her and meets her personally where she is.  He touches her and helps her to stand up straight for the first time in 18 years.  And He does the same for us.

When you can't speak for yourself Jesus speaks for you.  When you can't say, "God, I'm hurting... I need help.... I can't do this alone..."  Jesus hears you any way and helps you to get through that moment.

Jesus sees us every day, no matter who we are, where we are from, or what we are going through.  Don't miss the woman in the story.  Don't miss the chance to see Jesus in your life.  Don't miss this....

11:04 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Hope in Fear

This weekend we talked a lot about hope.  We talked about the querks that make us who we are and how God put them there for a reason.  We talked about the women that Jesus changed and how He can change us.  And I came home with a sense of hope - exhausted, but still sensed hope.  I was going to be okay.  I was going to break through the layers that I am hiding under constantly.  And as I sat this afternoon and began to discuss some things with myself and with Kelly I found myself breaking down.

My mind is saying "I don't think I can do this."  It is dwelling in fear - fear of the truths being lies, fear of the future that seems a little dim because of some of my current struggles.  But my heart is crying out for hope.  My heart refuses to meet with my mind and wants to press forward.

Maybe it's because I got some news this afternoon that just hits a little too close for comfort... maybe it's just the emotions that I am constantly going through, whether I like it or not... maybe it is the fears that seem so overwhelming right now that I can't stand it... or maybe it's the fact that I am letting go so that Hope can take hold.

Whatever it is, this is hard.  But I am holding on to the hope that lies within my fear.  The hope that this too shall pass.  The hope that there will be another chance for my friends.  The hope that there will ever be a chance for me.

4:38 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I Want to be Proud of My Body

Currently listening : The Way I Am By Jennifer Knapp Release date: 20 November, 2001

11:43 AM - 5 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

I Did it for Love...
Current mood: blessed

I tend to do a lot of "random acts" at my office for the staff and the students.  I bake coffee cake so that my co-workers have a warm and semi-healthy treat to get them through a long week, baked cookies for the entire month of December for our students (and not those frozen ones - all from scratch!), I leave notes of encouragement, etc.  I do these little things to show appreciation, to show that I care, and to show love to the people that I work with and serve every day.

Recently I've been asked if I turn in the receipts from my "random acts" so that I don't have to pay for these things out of my personal pocket.  I usually don't.  I'm not being asked to do these things - I do them of my own will.  I do them because I care about theses people and want to encourage them.  I want them to know that they are loved whether they realize it or not.  When I tell the people that ask me that I don't submit for reimbursement they think I'm crazy and lecture me about how I need to get paid for what I do.

I guess this bothers me a bit because I don't understand when it became so taboo to do something nice for someone else - not because it is in your job description but because you want to.  Since when do we need an alterior motive to be nice to our fellow man?

The other day I mentioned that I wanted to send a Starbucks card to the staff at a Les Schwab because they went above and beyond their job to serve me.  I was told that they were just doing their job and that they treated me no differently than anyone else.  Even if this is true I still don't see the problem in thanking them.  Why do you tip a waitress?  She's just doing her job when she takes your order and fills your glass.  Why should you play the tip game and decide if you're going to leave her what you feel is required of you or more?

I guess I just don't understand why we are so afraid to show appreciation for others.  Take a moment today to show someone some appreciation, whether it be a loved one or the person who drives your bus every day or knows you so well that they prepare your latte of choice before you have even made it to the counter.  And if anyone asks you why tell them what I tell them now... I did it for love.

Currently listening : Share the Well By Caedmon’s Call Release date: 12 October, 2004

7:53 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Life
Current mood: thankful
Category: Life

I found out today that my aunt Allison is cancer free.  She still has to go in every 6 months but she is healthy and strong!

Getting this news reminds me of how much we take life and the people in it for granted.  We argue and leave things unsaid when we should know that we may not have another chance to make things right or to tell someone we love them.

There are many more things I could say to be profound - but maybe this is one of those times that you should just take the message as it is.  Love one another.... don't go to bed angry (married or not)..... and be thankful for all you have, even when it seems to be so little....

Currently listening : Waking Up By Bethany Dillon Release date: 03 April, 2007

9:57 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

A Change for 2008?

It seems that everywhere I turn I find people preparing for the new year.  Many are taking inventoy of what they have gained and lost in the past 12 months; the dreams, goals, failures, accomplishments, and changes that have occured.  Some of these things have come easily while others are things that have made us fight for our rights, beliefs, relationships, and for some of us we ave had to fight for our lives.

As I sit back and reflect on this past year I find a lot of challenges and incredible blessings.  I have watched my sister grow strong through her experiences and education, my mother attempting to move forward from a challenging past, co-workers add members to their families and open themselves up to the world again.  I was honored this past year to be asked to be my best friend's wife and was reminded that I have a much bigger family than I thought I had.  But I have also found myself battling for friendships, struggling with myself and am still attempting to "find the girl I used to be, discover who I am today and grow into the woman that I have been created to become."

As the year 2008 is quickly approaching I pray that this year will bring me greater strength, that I will learn to be couragous again and that I will find the purpose that I am longing for.  I have the desire... but is this desire enough for a change?

Currently listening : Imagination By Bethany Dillon Release date: 16 August, 2005

11:57 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Nothing Great...

Lately I have really been feeling like I'm in a rut when it comes to my work.  Personal life is wonderful - my marriage is off to a wonderful and blessed start, I'm back in school, and I am learning more from God every day.  But in my office I feel like I am just waisting time...

Everyone says to just enjoy the fact that I can do school work while I'm sitting around at the desk - and I am.  But I miss having solid purpose... I miss the fullfillment that I feel when working with youth and with my passions...

I heard this song and made it my prayer today.  Hope you can find something in the lyrics as well:

The same old stuff I have to do
Over and over and over again each day it seems
Nothing great to show of my abilities and my worth
So show me my purpose in the midst of this routine

Because I'm trying to understand why I am here at all
With so many guesses and too many simple answers
Could it be that life is not what I think at all
It's not the big things but the ordinary in between
And maybe this is not the time to be waiting for
Any better reason to be glad that I'm alive at all
So help me take each day each simple thing that I must do
To bring glory to you

And I could search out a lot of ways
To keep me doing things in attempt to make my mark
But then maybe I'd miss the mark of your desire for me
So I will trust in you and in everything I do
Do it as for you

And I am learning to understand why I am here at all
There's no need for guesses when you are the simple answer
And You show me that life is not what I think at all
It's not the big things but the ordinary in between
And maybe this is not the time to be waiting for
Any better reason to be glad that I'm alive at all

So help me take each day each simple thing that I must do
To bring glory to you

Currently listening : Late Tuesday By Late Tuesday Release date: 20 April, 2001

10:51 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Think About It...
Current mood: contemplative

"To be in Christ--that is redemption;
but for Christ to be in you--that is sanctification!

To be in Christ--that makes you fit for heaven;
but for Christ to be in you--that makes you fit for earth!

To be in Christ--that changes your destination;
but for Christ to be in you--that changes your destiny!

The one makes heaven your home--
the other makes this world His workshop.

Major W. Ian Thomas
The Saving Life of Christ

Currently listening : The Way I Am By Jennifer Knapp Release date: 20 November, 2001

11:16 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Love...
Current mood: content

It has almost been one month since Kelly and I were married and I can tell you that life with my husband gets better and better every day.  I know that life will have its twists and turns - that has been made clear in the past 22 years.  But I have my best friend by my side and God guiding us along the way.

In this past month I have learned a tremendous amount about love.  I thought I had a pretty good idea of what love was the day that I stepped up to that altar to say my vows to Kelly.  But through growing in my faith and watching Kelly step into his role as a husband I have found yet another beautiful layer in this crazy little thing called love.  Kelly has reminded me that love requires sacrifice, and that it takes time to grow.  It needs action to be nourished and patience to allow it to do whatever it wants to in the hearts of those it enters.

I have found new strength, intimacy, and life in the love that Kelly and I share in the Lord.  I can't believe that almost a month has passed, and I am amazed at how blessed I am.  It's easier to stay stuck in all the junk that life throws at you - but God doesn't want us to stay there.  That has been made incredibly clear.

"Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.  If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."
-Song of Solomon 8:7

Currently listening : Who We Are By Lifehouse Release date: 19 June, 2007

2:38 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment