I Feel Too Much Part 2
Current mood: contemplative

My "feeling too much" has gotten me in a bit of trouble...Health wise anywho. I got back from my Doctor a few hours ago and though he and I have talked about this over the last 3 years it seems this time action has to be taken. He and I have talked about my taking things too hard, my emotions getting the best of me and he has been concerned about my hypertension...Not enough to put me on pills but that is not the case anymore.

My "feeling too much" my "taking in" too much from my surroundings has landed me on High Blood Pressure Avenue and this time it is not just an on and off thing my blood pressure is through the roof! So little pills I must take now and that does not sit well with me.

So all the things that cause me to rant and rave I've got to somehow find a way to let go of them. I need to run more than I already am but maybe just not as far so I can run every day.

I have to appreciate the things that are going right in life even more than I already do and let that dominate my world. In other words I need to push the outside world further away only because it DOES affect me so.

I need to stop caring so much about debt and know that it will get paid off since I am one of the lucky ones who has a job in this volatile market.

I need to begin to celebrate April and our rapidly approaching wedding day and not worry about the cost of it. Not worry about who is and who is not attending.

I need to just stop letting so-much-get-to-me. I know it is all about "control issues" and I just need to "let go"

So I will take my pills, run more, eat even better than I already was, celebrate April even more and tell the world to get outta my head!

Currently listening : Lick It Up By Kiss Release date: 1998-09-01

1:31 AM - 15 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

I May Feel Too Much I Guess

With the election over and the build up to it, all that expended energy, all the hope which was behind every issue, from both sides of every issue, and all of it taking place while the world economy spirals out of control I feel like I feel TOO much because it has affected me so deeply. I feel simply drained even while my wedding day approaches.

Don't get me wrong. I am BEYOND thrilled AND amazed that it is happening to me to begin with. Who is this woman who actually said "Yes" when I asked her to be my wife? Does she have ANY idea what the hell she is getting herself into? LOL!...She has made life amazing yet I still feel exhausted by all the other things that has been happening outside of April and my little life.

As our wedding day approaches and as April and I have been planning it out we have all endured an extremely emotional election. Not just for President but also votes on social and financial issues. Not one person out there can stand up and say that everything went the way everyone wanted things to go....If you can say as much then you're naive!

The election for President was very emotional for me and not for the same reason that it was for many other others who were shedding tears or shouting in anger with blood in their eyes. I have stated my feelings in regards to the Obama worship and my disappointment that Hillary did not get the nod. I was also troubled that McCain lost "who he was" along the way. The whole Palin debacle was such a shame....Why in the HELL did he pick her? I'm not saying I would have voted for him had he not chosen her but when he did. There was no way I could give him my vote. We NEED a third party so we are not having to choose the lesser of two disappointments....I guess I just feel too much about this!

The Prop 8 disaster. I KNEW if it passed we would see continued protests and people just losing their minds. I also knew that if it was voted down....We would see protests and people losing their minds. I grow even more weary every time I see, hear, or read anything having to do with Prop 8. Look I voted NO on Prop 8. I thought it would be voted down this time but it was not. We have a world going out of control and this has become a central issue people?? REALLY??? I guess I feel too much about this from both sides.

I want ALL people to have ALL the same rights but there have been two votes and both times it has been shot down. Why not give it a rest and when the world gets a little more used to the idea bring it up again. You can't point a finger to someone who has deep religious beliefs about this and just write them off as wrong and get all violent and abusive. And why get people who did not really care one way or the other all pissed off and have them become people who are now AGAINST Gay marriage? The radicals are becoming counter productive. This CAN'T be compared to the Civil Rights movement. That movement asked for minorities to be seen as human beings...Prop 8 is about MARRIAGE! If you want to compare it to the woman's right to vote then I can see that but c'mon! I guess I feel too much about this.

The economy has me singing the blues along with everyone else. I got a pay cut so I could keep my job which was in response to the world losing their God damn minds over the economy. Evey day we hear or read about companies laying off thousands of people, or others making money off of others misfortunes. I feel the tension of everyone's angst in regards to the economy. I have a gut feeling about this though. I think there are many in power who over reacting BIG TIME and it's causing things to get even worse. I am not saying it does not exhist...I am just saying that it seems to me that CEO's of companies are out to save their own asses, all grabbing for their golden parachutes and just screaming "Damn the torpedoes!"

I watched how the "Big Three" American auto makers arrived in their private jets to their meeting with the Senate today. It made me so sick to my stomach. I screamed at the TV "How the FUCK could you guys do this? I was pulling for your bail out because I don't want millions losing their jobs and Obama has a mission for you guys. To build better vehicles for the future, greener, more efficient and competitive and you show up like THAT...FUCK!!!!"

I want the "Big Three" to succeed because of what I said but I also believe in what they once stood for. I am sad and sickened to see so many things that used to be made in the U.S.A. not made here anymore. I get sad when I see institutions close such as the Mervyn's stores closing down or just a "Mom & Pop" that was around for 30 years go down in flames. It gets to me....I know...I feel too much.

With me seemingly "feeling too much" I have been having horrible dreams. Dreams of friends who have passed away coming to talk with me and at one time one of them asking me to "go with them." I was freaked out by this for days and I still am. So now I get to worry about my health since maybe that could be a sign? Just when I found the lady of my dreams at this point in life I have that on my mind? I don't want to be thinking about me leaving this place for at LEAST another 40 years ESPECIALLY now that I have found her!

I may feel too much but I like the fact that I feel. I know so many who seem to not be able to feel anything unless they are physically *SmAcKeD!* I am going to enjoy my wedding. I am going to have hope that Obama can make some changes. I am going to wish for a quick resolution on Prop 8. I am going to hope for the waking up of the economy so we can all stop worrying so much. We need to get back to worrying about Mother Earth and fixing her because you know she is going to be put on the "back burner" while we sort this mess out...Hey "Big Three"....Here is a chance for you to help Mother Earth while helping all of us out during this financial crisis.

What a way for April and I to start our first year of being husband and wife. *SiGh*

Currently listening : Go: The Very Best of Moby By Moby Release date: 2006-10-24

4:14 AM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Just Sayin'
Current mood: nauseated

Can 4 or 8 years of Obama be as bad as 8 years of Bush....I fear the answer is "Yes" but with a different spin. I have said already that I WILL cast my vote for Obama this November because he seems to offer more hope than McCain can and it was sealed when McCain chose Palin.

I will never back a candidate who feels they have a say in what a woman can or can't do with her own body nor can I back a candidate who feels that religion has ANY place in politics! Ummmmmm NO!

My point as to why I feel Obama could be as bad as Bush is real simple...The same ultra right wing, ultra conservative, ultra religious, oil thirsty ultra politically powerful war mongers who backed Bush and helped him steal the first election and shot us towards this situation we find ourselves in will now shift to the ultra militant, ultra special interest group lead, ultra environmental-Nazis, ultra anti American sell outs who find refuge in Obama's world should he get elected.

OH HOW I WISH we could have had Hillary as the Democratic nominee. She would have brought Bill back to the White House to be by her side and on top of that what I think this country needs right now is the female's point of view on things. We need it for at least a term or two if not longer.

I feel Hillary would have been so much more healing. Yes some of the leftist maniacs that back Obama would have come with her just based on her being a Democrat but God damn it all. I am seeing a shift in the political make up of this country if Obama is elected, which I think is a sure bet based on the last two debates, that will be a shift from the extreme Right way of thinking and doing business to the extreme Left way of thinking and doing business. We just can't win!!! We need a woman's touch right now and not one like what Sarah would deliver, (although she is beautiful and a mom!)

Damn it all...It would have been so amazing to have one of the GREATEST leaders we have had in this country EVER standing right by her side to guide when need be. Damn it! DAMN IT!!!

I loathe all that I have been seeing on TV, hear on the radio, or read in the papers. The Obama Maniacs strike fear in my heart just as much as the Bible thumping extreme conservative cowboys have over the last 8 years with Bush.

I continue to be sick to my stomach about this...What could have and should have been!

Currently listening : Dig Out Your Soul By Oasis Release date: 2008-10-07

9:26 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

A New Season!!!!
Current mood: excited

With all this DNC/RNC shit going down and what it has been doing to my insides, "Should I go with Obama or should I go with McCain?" but not liking either choice all that much. With me DJing weddings in a seemingly never ending cycle with no rest for the weary. With some of life's heavy blows coming from people in my life passing away or coming down with life threatening diseases all while April and I are planning one of the best days of our life coming this December it is time for some distraction...The good kind....49er Football baby!

The things in life that, for me, make life worth living is sex, music and sports. I can't think of any other things in life that make me love living more than those three. Football in general is my most favorite sport and growing up it was the Green Bay Packers and then later on for whatever reason I began loving the 49ers...All while growing up in Minnesota! Back then the Packers were a machine destroying teams in their path for years and years even BEFORE they called the NFL championship game The Super Bowl...Yeah I am that old kids!

My father was a Packer fan because Minnesota did not have a Football team when he was growing up since the Vikings were not born until I was born, 1961. So dad, being a loyal sports fan, did not gravitate to this new Minnesota team even though they were good coming right out of the gate, but not even close to as good as the beloved team from Green Bay otherwise known as Title Town U.S.A.!

The Packer backing was passed on down. My brother and I were baptized Packer fans. As I grew up though I became bored with the Packers style of play and wanted to watch other football being played and saw the red and gold uniform of the 49ers and this Quarterback named John Brodie flinging the ball all over the field and playing in playoff games against the most HATED of teams the Dall-ASS Cowboys...and losing to them!

I would route hard for the 49ers against those HATED Cowboys and I became hooked on the 49ers. From that point on I routed for them and the Packers....Who KNEW that I would someday move to the Bay Area and be able to follow my team in person and not just on my dads TV. Who knew they would go on to become a dynasty. Who knew I would develop some animosity to my first childhood team since they for a few years were handing the 49ers their asses in their helmets and if there was EVER a doubt which team I loved more that was cleared up in a heartbeat when I went to a 49er / Packer game here and BOOED the Packers as if they were the Cowboys!

SO it's another year. The 49ers have been sucking like it was the 49ers of the mid to late 70's all over again and we the 49er Faithful are hoping that we can get back to our 80's and 90's form again here soon...I have hope that those days are near...I thought that this was the case LAST season and we know how well the 49ers honored Coach Walsh's passing last season....HORRIBLY!!! At least they wore their 80's throwback uniforms a few times to honor him. I just wish they would have played like the 80's 49ers for him while in those uniforms...It was embarrassing.

So 49er Faithful, 49er Empire get on your gear..Get ready to cheer until you have no voice left. Let's hope for a great season where we can forget all of our troubles for at least 3 hours on a Sunday and live off the euphoria of a Sunday win at least through Monday. Let's show the Raiders fans that we can no longer be called band wagon fans like they loved calling us in years past because of our teams success...I think the last 5 years of MAJOR SUCKAGE have proven we are so NOT band wagon fans. Hey Raider fans, at LEAST we can watch our team on TV when they play a home game so don't talk to me about being a fan!

Let's let Nolan know he is on a short lease and lets celebrate our Defense and hope our Offense will run like a machine so our Defense is not having to win every game for us! Let's see some new stars rise and lets give back some pride to the players before them who built this team to be a once proud franchise....Let's see that happen again. Let's have some fun again!!!!

GO NINERS!!!!!

Currently listening : Death Magnetic By Metallica Release date: 2008-09-12

6:10 PM - 2 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

OK...I’m Voting For.....
Current mood: hopeful

.....Obama after all...I even removed one of my Blog Rants about my disgust with the machine behind the Obama image but kept my Blog about why I left the Democratic Party up.

I am not going back to the party, I will stay an Independent so I can vote for those from either party who stand for what my beliefs are but after Obama's speech tonight I am not as upset as I was when my choice for President, Hillary, did not get the nomination in what I thought was a shady and sad state of affairs at how my former party went about it.

But after Obama's speech I feel some hope and I feel energizerd about our future with him at the helm and I see possible healing from the last 8 years of SHIT the Bush administration has put us through.

OK Obama....I am giving you a chance even if you don't need it....You get my vote but my choice for President will be waiting for a another shot in 4 years should you fall apart and not come through with your promises...But I have hope that you will.

Currently listening : Forth By The Verve Release date: 2008-08-26

3:29 AM - 3 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

Mortality Bites!!!
Current mood: numb

I know this experience happens to EVERYBODY so I know I don't have a "lock" on such experiences and I know that "this" will happen to all of us, to me,  sometime but today I am angry at God and at death. Right now I have no time for those who try to explain to me how is it a part of life and it is a necessary thing and the circle of life blah blah blah and all the other statements one hears throughout life to explain death.

In the last year I have lost 3 friends who were far too young to leave us. Some who I had a continued relationship with to this day and some who I lost track of but still would speak to from time to time or who just plain had a place in my heart BECAUSE of the experiences we shared in this life during whatever time period. Maybe this is why the elderly can be angry people. They have seen so much loss due to their longevity.

I have also been told that I WILL lose another dear friend of mine because of cancer. I wish death was a being or an entity that I could look square in the eyes and kick said entity's head it. Beat it into the ground all the while screaming out the names of those it has taken away from me and taken from those who I love.

I know that it is the way it is...I just hate it. I hate the explanations. I hate the reality. I hate the hurt it causes those who I love and I hate the hurt it causes me. I hate the fact that it will happen to me..I don't wanna leave ever.

I mourn the loss of my friends Jamie and Lorrie. I am hurt by the news of my little lady friends from my former Rock and Roll days Annie and Patty who have passed away just recently. I mourn those who may have touched my life for a period and I have now lost track of who may not be with us. I am still saddened by the loss of those who I met during my time with Team in Training who lost their battle to cancer.  I still mourn the loss of the animals in my life and always ask why they only get a fraction of a lifespan that we do?

I know that every family, every person goes through this in this life we have...Especially those families who have military, police or fire fighters in their circle. I am just so pissed off that we have to endure it. I am mad as hell at God and this mortality we ALL have.

Rest in peace my friends...I can't get over the fact that you are not here anymore. I don't know if I ever will. May peace be with those of you who are still with me and who are hurting because of loss. Please know that I care and love all of the people who are in my little circle.

Currently listening : Forth By The Verve Release date: 2008-08-26

8:56 AM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

I’m Leavin the Democratic Party...Time to Be an Indy!
Current mood: disgusted

Not that anyone would care what my political views are but the sad truth is I used to believe in what the Democratic Party stood for in so many ways. My mind set came about back in the 70's during Nixon's second term which ended in disgrace. I was only a 6th grader but my mind was set after that and I began reading up on both parties and having opinions about the Presidents from that point on. Let me just say I am pro choice, pro gay marriage, I think gay people should be as miserable as straight people LOL! I am eco friendly but not a fanatic and I am not religious..So don't go thinking I have gone Republican!

With this joke of a race going on it has become very clear to me that the Democrats do NOT speak my language anymore. Their choice of Obama was the first nail in the coffin for me, the second, third, fourth, etc. is what is happening in Congress with Pelosi, Boxer and other Demos who have this scolding ideology about our current energy crisis and how they are going about getting their way in regards to the Sierra Club's strangle hold on our government. Right now they are more concerned with trying to go on vacation and don't want to hear anything more about nuclear power or more drilling to help us in this crisis and for our future...I can't take it anymore.

We the people elected the majority Democratic Congress in BECAUSE they said they HAD an energy policy that would HELP us BEFORE Bush left office and what do we have today....Nada..Or should I say over $4.00 a gallon for gas, higher utility and grocery bills and a continued fall backwards from the rest of the world in regards to power and industry.

All my former party can do is just demonize Bush and the Republicans, which is how they spend most of their time instead of working, and they also have this "punish us" attitude when it comes to energy and our taxes..I am so-not-not down with this and I am so not down with their Lord and savior Obama who they are giving the "Rock Star" treatment. Rock Stars don't have the substance the media machine gives them..They just happen to write good songs that people enjoy but have ya noticed when they get world wide they all of a sudden have the answers to all the world's problems???

People....Obama and the Democrats will get NOTHING done as far as energy, the budget, or defense and they will surely raise our taxes even higher, fill the pockets of the Sierra Club maniacs, and theirs, while we will pay maybe up to 8 bucks a gallon for gas with double the power and grocery bills with no end in sight. Then the Democrats on the hill will just be wagging their fingers at us saying; "We told you so now go find that magical potion to create a new energy resource to get us out of this mess but no no no, don't you DARE say nuclear, don't you DARE say more drilling on our own soil or coasts because the Sierra Club will get rearwee rearwee sore atchoo if you do!

Oh and by the way..They will also need us to pay for the Universal Health Care program they are preaching, continue to stop the entire logging, steel and textile industries, (what's left of them), so we can continue to pay for those goods from other countries because we have to save the fucking spotted lizard and take care of the world market because Obama the savior and his followers say so...Rubbish...I can't take it anymore!

I am not down with all the celebs pimping for the smoke and mirrors that is Obama. They have a distorted view of what is really happening in the world..Have ya looked at Hollywood's idea of what a beautiful woman is? Ummm say hello to bobbleheaded skin and bones. Have ya looked at the lifestyle most of them live? Have ya seen the money they make for the crap they produce to entertain us with? Hell, even when it is good it is not THAT good to me making the millions they make..Who are THEY to tell us, the working class, how to live our life and who we should vote for based on their gut reasoning?? They are just as bad as ANY fat cat, unplugged, ultra religious Republican.

I can't deal with the prospect of other countries taking our ideas and industries and making them their own and then turning around and screwing the people from the very country the products STILL come from or came from and STILL could come from.

I am not down with these militant "Greenies" or militant leftists, or militant Obama Maniacs who say, with a smile, that "We know what is best for you and the world but if you don't agree you are a facist, or a racist, or a religious fanatic, or an elitist....Ummmm I remember when the people who used to make up the Democratic Party were about being open minded and respected people's right to their own opinions or even to agree to disagree. When they were about the little man but not so much so that they would demonize the other side to the point that they in turn invite the extreme sections of the left....Like Castro-ites and those who live in fucking trees in Bezerkley to keep a football team from improving a facility...It seems those days of why I loved the Democratic Party are over so I am outta their party and on to "Indy Party Land"

I will now cast my votes for those who are speaking to what I believe in and I don't care WHICH party they are from...I want to vote out all of those who are in office now and get on a campaign to get people in who are for nuclear power, who are for drilling for more oil on our land and our coasts, flip off OPEC and the fucking Sierra Club Nazis and restart the industries in this country that once thrived and delivered to the world quality products and who also had OUR people working!

Logging HELPS forests not hurts..Look at all these God damn fires burning out of control all over California....We need to thin the forest people to get rid of fire fuels. The steel industry needs to be retooled and restarted so we can build products HERE put the money in OUR worker's pockets....We need to build nuclear power plants so we can catch up with the rest of the world and STOP burning so much coal which is polluting our air and helping increase global warming. HELLO you can recycle nuclear waste and if we have more nuclear power we WILL have enough power in the grid to power up all the electric cars the leftists keep telling us is the answer. Well without the nuclear power we won't have enough power to charge up said cars since we don't even have enough power with what we need it for now....Remember the recent black and brown outs???

Now don't go painting me Red or Blue please paint me Purple because I will also vote for a Woman's right to choose, for humans to marry each other, not just a man and a woman but HUMAN BEINGS. I am for animal rights and I am for conservation but not to the militant extreme that others go about getting their point across and those extremists seem to be making up what was once my Party.

So I'm saying "See ya later Democratic Party I am gone and I hope most of you will be out of a job soon too when, hopefully, the people of this country start to get mad enough to take action. But I guess this is all evil thinking of me though since I am not thinking EXACTLY like you do huh Democrats?"

Currently listening : Our Love to Admire By Interpol Release date: 2007-07-10

10:34 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I Know All Too Well That Being an Event DJ is Like Being a....
Current mood: drained

....Waiter at a tourist stop or a maid at a 5 star hotel....I could go on. Let me ask you. Do you have a career or work somewhere which causes the first sentence uttered out of someone's mouth to be something like, "Oh that MUST be a fun job!" Do ya work one of those jobs? Well do ya? HUH??

Like my Blog title and opening lines state my feeling is "not so much." Working as an Event DJ is not what some people would expect. Oh it is not like working at a job where you are digging a ditch or even one of those jobs that Mike Rowe spotlights on that Dirty Jobs show but it can be damn close!

Being an Event DJ is not like being a radio DJ or a club DJ...An Event DJ is working weddings, corporate events and school dances. You either have really good people who are there for a good time and will ask you for a few tunes here and there and then pretty much let you do your job or more often than not....You have rude, drunk and arrogant people, Bridezillas, Momzillas or musically insatiable teens at your event.

I am going on my 4th year of being an Event DJ and this past March was just my 1 year anniversary of being a full time DJ/Office Manager. Being in radio was nerve racking because you were always looking over your shoulder for a firing plus the pay was always lousy unless you were the star..I was never the star but I did love being on the air and creating and being community involved.

At my current position I think the office work is alright. I don't really mind that at all. It only becomes a major pain when I am stacked with event prep and other requirements like multiple meetings or the multiple God for saken Bridal Showcases we are required to work each year...I thought those were over when I left radio!!!

Besides the pain of the drunk, rude and arrogant people or the Bridezillas, Momzillas, or the musically insatiable teens where you can NEVER play the right song or enough of the right style there are also the support people you have to deal with at these events. To their credit...Some of them are wonderful people in a tough job. The other side is you are dealing with just plain snobbish, angry, rude people. On top of that you work all over the Bay Area endure crazy equipment load ins and load outs, insaine hours and horrible parking situations

One of the weirdest parts of the DJ part of the job is when people act like they will just die if they don't hear Brick House or Celebration. It's almost like when I was in radio and we'd get requests for songs on the phone or via email that already play like 17 times a day! I mean do you REALLY need to hear Brick House AGAIN??? I never knew the job was going to be quite like this and I KNOW that people who don't do this for a living have no idea either.

I like the job when I have nice people to work for and work with. When I'm in my home town area. When I'm not out working every damn weekend missing a lot of the good life. When I'm home at a decent hour and the music I am playing at the evet at least makes people happy and complimentary....Unfortunately those occasions are few and far between and the year ain't even over yet!.

The best way I can put it is it is a J-O-B and a hard one at that. Like any other job out there it is NOT what it seems. I can hear my friends who are reading this saying "Oh yeah..Well try this or try that!" Ummmmm I have! I have had so many jobs in my 47 years on the planet it is not even funny!

You are a lucky person if you can honestly say you LOVE your job. I'd have to say right now love is NOT a word I would use to describe it.

I'm just sayin'!!!!

Currently listening : Miss Crazy By Miss Crazy Release date: 2006-09-05

7:51 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

I Caved!!!!
Current mood: indescribable

After one of my Blog rants which included me asking why EVERYONE has been insisting that I get a Facebook page and me saying I will resist doing so...I finally made one! You'll find me by my name Timothy Bednarz there.

I made the Facebook page while I was on vacation and I have re-connected with quite a few people from my Team in Training running teams who did not have a MySpace and that's nice but, I stand by my complaints about Facebook vs. MySpace.

I am not into all these applications on Facebook and the look of the profile page is not very kewl and there is no "real" music presence either. Oh you can find bands and whatnot but those pages are not even near as kewl as the MySpace pages.

The good thing about Facebook is the IM is way better, the lack of spam and the automatic screening process it offers by not just letting any Tom, Dick or Harriett in to harrass you but other than that I still think the MySpace product is better and I really don't mind peoplke I don't know contacting me because I have met some really nice people on Myspace who I have never met in person. MySpace is better to look at, and more user friendly....In my humble opinion.

All that being said....I now have Comcast and Gmail email accounts, a Yahoo and Gmail IM account and now a MySpace and Facebook account to go with my cell phone and home phone..I think anyone can get a hold of me now.

I THINK that is a good thing since I have nothing to hide but we shall see since now I have to always open all of these to see who is communicationg with me.

I never was good at letter writting anywho!

Currently listening : Viva La Vida By Coldplay Release date: 2008-06-17

6:21 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

OMG!!!! The Cure, and I Have Gray Hairs Not Just On My Head!

I am still feeling the euphoria from being at The Cure concert. I sat on the main floor 17th row bitches! MmmmHmmmm! Well seeing Robert Smith and The Cure live is always such a treat because of Robert's presence and just because he might be one of the coolest artists on the Earth. Yes I said artist. I feel he is much more than a musician. No matter how he retools The Cure it is he who is the constant and always seems to represent the band with artistic substance.

For me, Robert Smith also embodies a nice part of my youth since it was in 1983 that I discovered The Cure and I kinda liked them and their image since I have always been into make up and music but then I had an amazing reconnection with them when "Head on The Door" came out and I heard the track " A Night Like This." My then Bass player was blasting it in his room and I was like; "Who is THAT? and he then handed me the album cover. I was like this is The Cure? The "Let's Go To Bed" and "Love Cats" guys? I asked him to tape it for me...LOL!!! Tape it for me...Oh those words must seem strange to a 20 something. Then when Pornography came out and later on Disintegration I was beyond hooked and have continued to be with every new release...Especially 2000's "Blood Flowers."

Anywho, Robert Smith does not seem to show age because of his make up, hair and clothes. It is like being frozen in time when you see The Cure even when they play brand new stuff it still seems retro. Well, because of seeing the concert this week I have been playing and re-buying old Cure albums every day since a lot of the Cure I owned were on cassette or LP. While enjoying this audio timewarp I have been kinda forgetting about my age until I look at the liner notes on the re-issues that read (Original release 1983 or 1985 etc.) but never the less listening to The Cure is "Just Like Heaven" Oh!!! Did I say that??!!!
San Jose Setlist Below:

Plainsong, Prayers For Rain, Fascination Street, The Perfect Boy, The Blood, The End of The World, Lovesong, To Wish Impossible Things, Pictures of You, Lullaby, Catch, Hot Hot Hot, The Only One, A Strange Day, Sleep When I'm Dead, Push, Doing The Unstuck, In Between Days, Just Like Heaven, A Letter to Elise, From The Edge of The Deep Green Sea, Shake Dog Shake, Wrong Number, One Hundred Years, Disintegration

Encore 1: At Night, M, Play For Today, A Forest,
Encore 2: Feakshow, Close To Me, Why Can't I Be You?,
Encore 3: Boys Don't Cry, Jumping Someone Else's Train, Grinding Halt, 10:15 Saturday Night, Killing An Arab.

I loved seeing the show but I REALLY missed the Synths and Keys of Roger O'Donnell and I was too tired to make it through the whole show which brings me to the other part of this Blog title.

I just got back from the doctor's office for a 40 something check up which included some blood work last week. After feeling ageless for a while because of my Cure concert and CD listening experience I DID feel my age at the end of the concert night because I get tired anytime after 11:00 PM! I am also seeing evidence of my 47 years on this planet today because of the doctor appointment and test results..... Oh yeah.

We are now on a "cholesterol and blood pressure watch" more than ever before. Can't eat this, gotta take this suppliment, have this test, do more of this and less of that. Oh my GAWD it BLOWS! I have been running my ass off with Team in Training for 2 plus years, have not smoked since December 21, 2004, changed my entire diet, and this is what I get?? I have not lowered anything enough so I need to do more. Add insult to injury I am now finding grey hairs all over not just on my head. I have been letting the grey come through on my head for a about a year now..no more coloring it and now I have found some on my chest AND I am seeing some "down there" more and more. I know it could be worse but getting old bites.

Yeah getting older DOES beat the alternative but damn it. I thought I'd be young forever. So I will continue to do the "new plan" with the doctor and see if I can get all in order and I will continue to fight old age of the spirit by ALWAYS listening to new music as well as remembering my youth by going and seeing or just plain listening to those bands that are still out there, still relevant and ageless and who make me feel frozen in time while I am at their concert.

See you all out on "Fascination Street" indeed!

Currently listening : Disintegration By The Cure Release date: 1989-05-01

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