Back around 1994 or so, I was spending quite a bit of time in the clubs...particularly goth-industrial clubs. Why? Not because I loved the music--I enjoyed some of it, like Nine Inch Nails and Ministry, and to be fair I enjoyed the music more than any of the alternatives available to me at that time/place...but in my personal time I was listening to Mr. Bungle and other musical oddities.
No, the reason I spent so much time in the goth-industrial scene was for the girls.
There was one girl in particular that I had a lot of lust for, and we ended up spending quite a bit of time together outside the clubs. I don't remember her name...and I can't even picture her perfectly.
The reason I bring this up (no pun intended, as you'll see shortly) is that one night we went to her friend's house, and the three of us watched a very strange soft-core movie called Up!--it was so surreal, it lodged itself in my consciousness. Every couple of years I've tried to track this film down, always unsuccessfully.
When Google appeared, I tried again, and failed.
Today, with the help of Wikipedia, I finally found it.
Directed by Russ Meyer, and co-written by Roger Ebert (yes...that Roger Ebert), Up! was made in 1976 and centered around a murder mystery involving a Hitler look-a-like named Adolph. If memory serves, Adolph is killed be a piranha in his bath-tub.
It only takes, like, two minutes!
Current mood: annoyed
Category: News and Politics
I am amazed by some of the shit I get in my e-mail box. Mostly, it comes from my father, although I've deleted contacts here on MySpace for the same thing.
I'm talking about political e-mails.
Every time I get one from my father...I do some quick research for a reply--which I send to EVERYONE he sent the message to. It doesn't take long--half an hour at the most (that includes the time to write the reply). In each case I usually get an e-mail back that says something to the effect of: "I am very proud of you--you are very smart. Why don't you give up the tattooing-thing and get into politics?"
Now, in the case of my father, I tend to give him the benefit of doubt. He gets these e-mails through the people he serves as an Episcopal Deacon. The last one was about laws passed in California to prevent teaching of biased material in the class room. The e-mail claimed that this law would make it against the law to use the terms "mom" or "dad" in the classroom, because children of gay couples don't have both. I looked up the law, read it, and found that it wasn't even close to being true. What the law DID say was that is would be against the law to tell students that being gay was a crime against nature and that all homosexuals were un-American and would be going to hell. Summed up, the law in question states that classes are not to use discriminatory language in regards to gender, sexuality, race, religion, etc. "Mom" and "dad" would be fine...but one couldn't say that all Jews are wrong...see the difference?
So I looked up the source of the e-mail. Turns out the whole thing started with an anti-abortion group (I prefer this over "pro-life"...if they were so "pro-life" they would be against capital punishment and war) that was miffed over the idea that classes couldn't teach children that abortion was the work of the devil himself, so they tried to spead misinformation to make themselves look better.
I've tried to give up arguing politics online--it makes me terribly angry when people don't "listen" and continue to spew their mis-informed garbage. So if you post a bullitin here, and find I remove you from my contact list...don't take it too personal. I'm not trying to take away your right to be vocal...I'd just rather not swim with pigs in filth.
...and I’ll love him, and squeeze him....
Current mood: amused
Category: Friends
At the request of Swoop, I'm moving this bulletin to it's own blog-page. Apparently she really likes my odd humor, and wants to make sure it's kept for a while.
After some online research, initiated by a chance encounter at work, I think I know what's wrong with me.
..you know, BESIDES all the neuroses and strange verbal habits.
I am now 95% convinced I've grown my very first ganglion cyst. I've named him George...not after anyone...I just enjoy alliteration. He's set up shop in my right wrist, and overall is a fairly pleasant fellow. He does get mighty upset if I try to do flat-handed push-ups. Apparently George wants me to do push-ups on my fists or not at all.
The woman I met at work was helpful, even if she spelled 'ganglion' incorrectly to me: she said it was a "gangland' cyst. I don't even want to know what this could refer to instead. Maybe repeated pulling of a trigger could result in a similar condition?
So far this has not affected my ability (or lack thereof) to tattoo. Drawing can feel a bit weird, but I use big enough grips on my tattoo machine that I've noticed no difference.
I'm not sure how this might affect my bass playing in the short term--I have rehearsal tonight, so we'll see how it goes. Worst case, I crank up my amp and fuzz and play very loud whole notes! heh.
Anyway, according to the medical website I was looking at, nobody knows really what causes these things, although people that perform repetitive hand motions (let's see: playing bass, drawing/tattooing, typing, sex, video games...yeah, EVERYTHING I do involves repetitive hand motions) are more susceptible. They're fairly common, not terribly dangerous...more annoying than anything...HEY WAIT! That sounds just like me!
In the olden days people used to wack them with a bible (they called people like George "bible bumps") to break them...the fluid would drain into the surrounding tissue. I'm not hitting George with a bible...and the Book of the Law is too small to do the trick. Besides, this practice is no longer recommended due to the separation of Church and Cyst.
I'm going to see my doctor today, to see if it'll be better to see if it goes away on it's own (which apparently happens nearly half the time) or if it'll be better to stab George and drain him of all his fluid/personality. Much like the Corrective Phrenologists* imply, draining George may make for a more pleasant ally...although apparently if one does this more than a couple times, people like George are likely to never come back...so I risk alienating my newest little friend.
Of course, considering my track record in keeping up with all my oldest friends, pissing off George will come as no big surprise to anyone.
*Phrenology--associating cranial bumps to specific personality traits--has been disproven as a science, but the Corrective Phrenologists state that science has blundered, and lumps on the head do relate to personality in so far as adding new bumps seems to change behavior.
Resisting the urge to pick fights
Current mood: aggravated
Category: News and Politics
Just went to the Myspace equivilant of "a friend of a friend" and found some of the most disgustingly racist dribble I've seen in a while. I was tempted to poke some fun...but then thought better of it. Last thing I need is some overweight ignorant redneck getting his panties in a knot and telling me about the size of his gun collection.
(Just a quick note, in case any of the participants happen to stumble upon this blog: I have very purposefully NOT listed any names or any info that would lead others to guess the identities of those involved. I am speaking less of individuals and more of general trends in sociological habits. If you think this is about you, and you have something to say in reply...it might be better to let me know personally and privately rather than posting a reply to the blog, which would only serve to reveal your actions to my other readers...because if you do post a "Fuck you you little shit" reply, I will let it stand, as I think it will probably be more embarrassing to you than to me. Lighten up, smile, and enjoy.)
I was told yesterday that a couple of bleach-blonde clones suggested to the man they're cheating on their husbands with (a friend of mine, to remain nameless in this here blog) that I needed fashion help. He then explained to them that I was trying to make nerdishness fashionable, to which they replied "Oooohhhhhh." Little lights went off, and everything returned to the sucking and licking without missing a beat.
...too bad, I was hoping to use their initial confusion to get a paid-for shopping spree, for a man can never have too many blazers and tennis shoes. After all, if their rich husbands don't catch on when their wives leave town for their extracurricular activities, then some charges at the mall shouldn't raise any flags either.
Currently
listening
:
Riley: In C
By
Terry Riley
Release date: 30 January, 2007
Permanent is a four letter word...oh wait....
Current mood: hyper
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
I have grown out the devil's facial hair, for my biggest fan as well as for the hell of it. It may not stay long...or it may---who the hell knows?
But Agent Daring and I agree--New Ancient Astronauts must always have at least one mustache in the band for the sake of believability. Now, nowhere is it written that it must be on an upper lip--one could grow one in one's pants.
Currently
listening
:
Anonymous
By
Tomahawk
Release date: 19 June, 2007
Pluto's downgrading: does it affect astrology?
Current mood: calm
Category: Religion and Philosophy
For context, here's the article from A.P.:
PRAGUE, Czech Republic - Leading astronomers declared Thursday that Pluto is no longer a planet under historic new guidelines that downsize the solar system from nine planets to eight.
After a tumultuous week of clashing over the essence of the cosmos, the International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto of the planetary status it has held since its discovery in 1930. The new definition of what is and isn't a planet fills a centuries-old black hole for scientists who have labored since Copernicus without one.
Although astronomers applauded after the vote, Jocelyn Bell Burnell a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings urged those who might be "quite disappointed" to look on the bright side.
"It could be argued that we are creating an umbrella called 'planet' under which the dwarf planets exist," she said, drawing laughter by waving a stuffed Pluto of Walt Disney fame beneath a real umbrella.
The decision by the prestigious international group spells out the basic tests that celestial objects will have to meet before they can be considered for admission to the elite cosmic club.
For now, membership will be restricted to the eight "classical" planets in the solar system: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.
Much-maligned Pluto doesn't make the grade under the new rules for a planet: "a celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a ... nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit."
Pluto is automatically disqualified because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune's.
Instead, it will be reclassified in a new category of "dwarf planets," similar to what long have been termed "minor planets." The definition also lays out a third class of lesser objects that orbit the sun "small solar system bodies," a term that will apply to numerous asteroids, comets and other natural satellites.
It was unclear how Pluto's demotion might affect the mission of NASA's New Horizons spacecraft, which earlier this year began a 9 1/2-year journey to the oddball object to unearth more of its secrets.
The decision at a conference of 2,500 astronomers from 75 countries was a dramatic shift from just a week ago, when the group's leaders floated a proposal that would have reaffirmed Pluto's planetary status and made planets of its largest moon and two other objects.
That plan proved highly unpopular, splitting astronomers into factions and triggering days of sometimes combative debate that led to Pluto's undoing.
Now, two of the objects that at one point were cruising toward possible full-fledged planethood will join Pluto as dwarfs: the asteroid Ceres, which was a planet in the 1800s before it got demoted, and 2003 UB313, an icy object slightly larger than Pluto whose discoverer, Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology, has nicknamed "Xena."
Charon, the largest of Pluto's three moons, is no longer under consideration for any special designation.
Brown was pleased by the decision. He had argued that Pluto and similar bodies didn't deserve planet status, saying that would "take the magic out of the solar system."
"UB313 is the largest dwarf planet. That's kind of cool," he said.
Most astrology programs include Pluto and Charon in their list of aspects. I've usually ignored Charon in my own calculations, as I figured it was so small and far away its potential effects would be negligible. With this new definition in place, I see no reason to downgrade Pluto in the same way.
Of course, the science of astrology is still under debate. How much do the celestial bodies affect things here on Earth? To that I answer with the following: Luna (our moon) creates our oceans' tides, and our bodies are 90% water--so it stands to reason that Luna could have quite an effect on us. This idea is consistent with increased crime during each full moon (when our planet/home is between the relative gravity fields of Sol (our sun) and Luna. So if such a little object, while relatively close, can have such striking effects, why should we assume the rest of our solar system has a net-zero effect? Such an idea seems dubious at best.
Astronomy does not ignore size and behavior anymore, and I propose astrology should follow suit. This decision by our world's astronomers does not erase the existence of Pluto, Ceres, or Charon; it merely creates a useful system of classification. Pluto, like Luna, has a smaller size. Unlike Luna, however, Pluto's path lies really far away, so it stands to reason that its influence (if any) would be much more minute than, say, Jupiter.
From now on, in my own calculations, I will pay attention to astrological aspects on a graded curve: Solar and Lunar aspects get top billing, followed by the other planets (Venus, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and finally Neptune). All the rest of the bodies are, in my mind, fractions--they may exist, but they are probably mathmatically insignificant.
Astrologers can be fairly pig-headed though, so I don't imagine most of them will follow suit. This will be to astrology's disadvantage. The nature of the scientific method calls for an open mind and a willingness to alter each discipline to adhere as close as possible to observable facts. Those that believe in astrology (as opposed to exploring astrology) will have a tough time with these new facts.
I'm becoming my father, tears and all
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Music
Listening to Radiohead for the first time in a while, and I find myself unexpectedly moved to tears--damn you Thom, Johnny, Colin, Ed, and Phil! Damn you all and your beautiful music!
Currently
listening
:
OK Computer
By
Radiohead
Release date: 01 July, 1997
amused
annoyed
ecstatic
aggravated
hyper
calm
indescribable
optimistic