Su casa es mi casa...
Category: Blogging

" This use to be me before I met David......"

Sweet breakdancing Christ! I looked at my blog hit counter and it jumped from 1/2 a hit a day to 5 for yesterday!  I got a warm fuzzy feeling in my pants that someone is still stalking me - but then I realized that I had split my triple double whipple latte frosty on my pants.  NICE!

" That's going to be me when I move into my house.........."

Well it has begun......

The time for immaturity is coming to an end - me and Dave have bought a house together....I think we got a sweet deal on it - its brand new and the house should be complete in 3 weeks.....needless to say I am excited I wont be pissing my money away on rent and pron for David anymore.  It's all about being an adult now :) - yea baby! yea!

Let's see what else - I am still at my (newish) goverment job that sucks monkey ass!   Well the pay is good - but my two bosses are stupid whores and I can't stand them - they have all these rules for us......like the one that drives me insane is that we are not allowed to talk! We have to sit at our desks in complete silence - I think I am becoming crazy over it because I find my self going to the restroom and standing in front of mirror talking and laughing to myself like a hyena on Vodka & Red Bull! I don't know maybe it's not the job that's making me crazy it might be the meds and if it is, God bless 'em.

Then again, maybe it's just me finally coming out of puberty.

11:12 PM - 12 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Can I have a extra mayo on that sandwhich PLEASE........
Category: Blogging

"Bitch please. YOU'LL NEVER BE BABY JESSICA! NEVER!"

Just to let you all know, I haven't, as yet, choked on a sandwhich........I have choked on a cookie, a Carls JR burger oh, OH  and one time I swallowed my gum and choked that was fun let me tell you.   GOD MY LIFE IS INTRESTING AS YOU CAN SEE there is a whole helluva lot going on in my life, and it's just so damn interesting, I may even share it with you all. Or I could just go drink and make things better. 

forgive me for this sucky blog. I know not what I do.....

8:08 PM - 10 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Mmo Money, Mmo Problems.........
Category: Blogging

Free Pictures from DrewpyDraws

Remember when you could shop in America without getting asked these annoying questions at the register; "Do you have an Albertsons Card?", "Do you have a Preferred Shopper Card?" "Do you have our "Loyal Customer Card?" FUCK OFF with your stupid card questions! (Besides, all ya gotta do is give 'em "the look" and smile and say "Damn I think it's in my car!" and they melt and swipe their own fancy-smancy all-powerful "Cashier's Friend" cards and you get the discount anyway. (Pumpkin has powers.)

Oh yea I am starting my workout kick again and I'm already feeling better about myself (though it might be that I'm drinking coffee again...and beer at work). I'm started to get my condescending attitude back and my arrogance level has almost double since last week. I'm also telling people my boobs are larger than they really are, whether they want to hear it or not.

7:41 PM - 11 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Guess what kids crappy attitudes really do pay off..........
Category: Blogging

"Work fascinates me..... I can look at it for hours........"

About 8:15 this morning my boss came in and told me "Wake up Roberta! I need to see you in my office" I followed her and I sat down expecting to get canned - but instead of a 6 month vacation on the unemployment train - she gave me a raise! Sure the money is even better then before but now because of a small thing called guilt! I have to balance between what makes me happy and not pissing her off enough to kill me (ie:fire me). That's tough being most of what I like and want to do at work my bosses aren't game for and could be illegal in most states and maybe Mexico? (mental note: legal or not legal?)

Don't get me wrong, I care about my job in general, it pays for my bad habits and keeps me out of trouble for 8 hours out of the day.  So in short being at job is better then being incarcerated!

Oh yea that pet population in my house is out of control! I have 2 cats one had a litter the other one is prego again! The hermit crab is walking around like a perv without it's shell - The fishes are still alive! - oh and someone threw a puppy over our wall and now we have to keep him.  I don't blame them I am sure they think my house is a half way house for kids and animals.   Anyway they are a giant pain in the ass to clean up afterwards so I'm not liking animals too much so I'm trying to sell the little bastards (ie. not the kids) and ban anything that's not an adult or human from coming anywhere near my house (unless it's going to be used as food). 

Shit I just got a call that my other cat had her kittens!

9:57 AM - 28 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Strut that funky stuff........
Category: Blogging

"Look what my kids drew for me.........."

David thinks I am delusional because I sometimes think I'm a God and will act as such (i.e, "Let thar be lite!" then I'll turn the light switch on) oh and I also think I am funny when I am not (So they say)

I digress.....

Ever have one of those days where you don't want to do anything productive? Like when your boss tells you "Hey Roberta, we need you to organize the files in store room" and you say "Sure thing boss, why'd you call me Roberta?". Then you get some coffee and back on your computer to surf for pics of Vida Guerra's  ass to print out on the new color laser printer to take to the restroom to look in the mirror and compare? Well that's me everyday.

Well it was me until today. Now I really do need to clean the files along with getting together job numbers for a manager. I don't know why I keep making promises to people I really don't intend to do. I need more coffee cause that's the way I roll.

Work sucks!

7:24 AM - 13 Comments - 17 Kudos - Add Comment

H-E-Double Hockey Sticks................
Category: Blogging

Free Myspace Pictures from drewpydraws

"Don't mind if I do........."

 I was having a hard time getting this thought outa my head. It started while I was taking a pee in the urinal here at work, praying to Allah that nobody walks in and catches me (thank you mighty and merciful Allah!) and this thought about My Space pops in my tiny little head.  Gosh I hate that, I also hate not thinking ahead enough to grab some TP first so I don't have to woddel into a stall to clean up.

Anyways I digress......Can I just tell you people what the thought was - OK like 6 months ago I noticed that my profile changed and my weight was in kilos and the date was backwards and I was seeing people from Ireland, the music was from Ireland and I was getting pissed like everyday - cursing My Space! I was like why the fuck are people from the UK /Ireland wanting me to read there blogs!

Well fucking DUH! I somehow managed to change the settings in my account.  I had finally realized after these long months! Wow all those months of talking to Irish Lushes!........God Bless America! It was hell living in Ireland for 6 months.

2:41 PM - 8 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

.....SHUT UP my mom thinks I am cool
Category: Blogging

"Beam me up Scotty..........."

You know women can talk but men are the biggest talkers ever!  Something that could be explained  in 2 sentences ends up taking 30 minutes including the back story and character development. What the fuck? Just tell me how much your paycheck is going to be,  thats it! not what each asshole you're working with is doing for Thanksgiving!

Don't get me wrong, I love the menz but sometimes they can be so much work and I'm just so damn lazy….so, so lazy *yawn*.

11:57 AM - 17 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

In with the old out with the new......
Category: Blogging

This past few days I have unsubscribed to alot of blogs that I had on my list - I really try to give everyone a chace that sends an invitation my way.........but I have to be honest in all the new blogs that posted I still go to read the "OG" blogs that I started out reading back in the day and pass the newbies.....I just have not been able to form a bond with anyone new......you know what I mean?

Am I fucked up? and if I am hurrrrrayyyyyyy!

8:54 PM - 29 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Honey Bees are NOT flying death monkeys...........
Category: Blogging

I think that all the Honey Bees  that are dying are in Heaven , getting their lil buzzzzzzz on get it buzz on??? LOLOMGBBQ! I think they are doing lil shots of Jaegar and smoking some wicked stinky herb with some hot angel chicks .

I guess I feel bad and weird that the lil bees are dying off..... it's like I get these brief moment of sadness and/or lucidity that I don't think I've experienced that before. (I think it might be the meds and if it is, God bless 'em.)

12:13 PM - 12 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

.............I'm Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awsome I am
Category: Blogging

"I am so hungry I need me some CKRIPS"

So, I started eating more and working out less so that's not at all good. Other than the losers in my everyday life (sorry Mom), I don't really have anyone to impress so I'm not all that motivated. See, if the boyfriend would just let me have another boyfriend or two….maybe three…then I'd be more inclined to stay in shape. Simply trying to look better than everyone else is not too hard but I need an incentive to take it up a notch, BAM! Plus it would be nice to have more than one man to disappoint.

Signing off now~

Pumpkin

8:03 AM - 29 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

Working my jelly...........
Category: Blogging

".......She's a brick house she mighty, mighty letting it all hang out"

I bet people here at work think I'm on drugs. Man I wish I was on drugs (besides Zoloft). I have allergies so I'm always rubbing my nose and I go to the bathroom a lot because of all the coffee I drink. Bouncing my leg like I'm doing now probably isn't helping either. Damn I have to pee again.

Wait, damn my boss just went into the can - I will have to hold it for a bit.

So did anyone watch the Mayweather - Del LaHoya fight?? Screw this I have to go!

OK better I hate holding it......So where was I? Oh yes drugs, no wait the fight, yea thats right.  I think that is the first fight that I have enjoyed in awhile boxing has class - I am not really into that UFC stuff.  

Oh before I forget I thought this was cute: This morning I made a mess in the kitchenette we have here at work and didn't clean it up. I went back to get more coffee and there were a few peeps in there bitching about how rude someone was for doing that. I felt like shit about it for a couple of seconds but then joined in with bitching on how people are dirty LOLBBQ!......... I am going to hellllllzzzzzzz!

11:28 PM - 10 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Pinky for Brains...........
Category: Blogging

"Yea baby"

Since I have started my new job I have been struting around the office acting like I know what I am doing ,making people feel stupid because when they can't figure something out - I do it all easy and say in your face LOSER!  Then I had a thought. I wonder if people are starting to look at me as arrogant and egotistic? I was thinking maybe I should calm down a bit and be nicer to people and not so much "look at me!" crap.

After about 5 minutes I thought fuck'em, I don't care what they think so thoughts of playing the nice Pumpkin slowly floated away, just as any chance of me actually doing any work today. I'm trying to build my ego up to the point where it's damn near impossible to penetrate, like anal with an unwilling partner!

3:16 PM - 9 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Sometimes I stop for puppies that are crossing the road ...............
Category: Blogging

"It's quitin time bitches!......"

You might ask yourself, "Gee, this Pumpkin chick seems like a swell gal, I wonder what her day is like?". Well actually people tend to say stuff like "Why are you so smart?" or "Stop staring at my food!"
Anyway I'm going to let my ego just steamroll right through and just pretend. kthx!

Well- at around 5:40 I start staring at my alarm clock because that's when it goes off. I then start doing a crocodile "death roll" trying to get comfortable again hoping to fall back to sleep. My stupid cat then picks this time to lay beside me to take a nap which lowers my incentive to get up even more. At around 6:10ish (I suppose to be at work at 6:00) I push the cat off then start putting on clothes which are sometimes on the floor then off to work I go (not really I take a shower, yell at the boys to get ready cause that's the way I roll)!

It takes me about 20 minutes to get to work since I live about a 7 miles away. I get to my desk and check my emails for anything exciting then I open my web browser to surf for the next couple of hours. During this time I'm usually bouncing my leg like I'm real antsy (probably from drinking about six cups of coffee while I'm surfing) then somebody will eventually get me to do some work.

5:33 PM - 25 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

.........So, have you ever been with a real woman? Oh, you have? Well never mind
Category: Blogging

" I want rainbow colored tissue"

My sons share the same bathroom ("The boys bathroom") - one will take a huge dump and clog up the toilet - then WALK away and pretend they don't know it's clogged so they don't have to actually get the plunger and fix it. Then I'll walk in there and see the toilet clogged up and raise holy hell - "SOMEBODY better get in here NOW and un-clog this toilet!" I'll yell. All them will say - "I didn't do it!" - one even comes in there and glances into the toilet - "It's not MINE!" he yells to the other one. I tried not to LOLOMGBBQ - how can he tell this by looking at it?

"me likes a spank now and then"

On another note: I'm in the mood to blow some more money on myself but hubby is getting a little miffed because I'm all about me now. I've always been a little selfish but he's right, lately I've just been looking out for number one. I think what really got him upset is when he caught me in the bathroom making out with my own reflection in the mirror (that's not gay, rite?).

9:25 AM - 15 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Deja Moo: You have heard all this Bullshit before..............
Category: Blogging

Pumpkin thoughts of the day.......

So we got a boot leg of 300, gawd damn! gawd damn I say,  those Spartons are super sexy hot like a flock of sexy sheep wait! Sheep are not sexy.

" Wink wink Spartons like to eat out......"

Remember being in the playground and it's finally your turn at the top of the slide and the little bitch girl behind you is like "Hurry UP!" Remember you'd slap her really hard across the thigh and then quickly make your escape down the slide! I did this the other day at the park and the girl's parents ran up and were highly upset and screaming something about the cops.

Someone left a box of Anti-diarrheal tablets on my computr desk.....where did they come from?

"Note to self get cats fixed........"

On a lighter note Waffles had her kittens  I will not bother to post pictures they are the exact same as the last litter so just refer back to the pictures in my October 2006 blog.

I am secretly excited about work because it is something new. I sort of have like adult ADHD (I'm bad with math) which feeds into it. So I like anything new and different and with chocolate (dark chocolate num! num!) , to a point that is. I don't like changing jobs or putting chocolate on chicken….or do I?

5:43 PM - 12 Comments - 15 Kudos - Add Comment