DARJEELING LIMITED, current theatrical release, grade c+

DARJEELING LIMITED

"I love you too, but I'm gonna mace you in the face!" - Jack

Film auteur We Anderson has made a career of small irony laced films that border on the self-aware.  Usually centering on young (or older but not mature) characters struggling with their place in a world in which they don't seem to fit.  In his early work these traits were charming as his excellent BOTTLE ROCKET was infused with a leisurely pace that was reminiscent of the best Jarmusch films and his film RUSHMORE, which is perhaps the best example of this premise since THE GRADUATE (anyone who wishes to mention GARDEN STATE at this point will be slapped, that was a overindulgent A.D.D. attempt to mimic real filmmaking).  Anderson seemed to be widening the net with THE ROYAL TENNENBAUMS, which expanded from centering on one or two characters to a larger dynamic that took aim at the shared responsibility for dysfunction that exists within any family.  Unfortunately, with TENENBAUMS we saw the beginnings of more calculated quirkiness permeating his films, which took hold and sank the tragic misfire that was THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU.  I had hoped that with THE DARJEELING LIMITED Anderson would have scaled back from the idiosyncratic and focused instead on the growth of his characters.  Alas, this was not to be.  Though I think he aims for something larger than previous films, as it appears that the acceptance of death and finding ones spiritual center may be the intent, but the result is more along the lines of a 91 minute music video produced by the Indian Tourism Board.

The film centers on the reunion of three brothers.  Francis (Owen Wilson) has recently been involved in a near death motorcycle accident which has awaked a need to reconnect with his family that has splintered apart after the death of their father.  To this end he has invited his brothers to join him on a cross country tour of India aboard the fictional Passenger Train "The Darjeeling Limited".  He has developed a rigid itinerary to stop and visit the most consequential spiritual locations in the hopes to awaken his family's spiritual bonds.  Jack (Jason Schwartzman) and Peter (Adrian Brody) willingly join him as they have issues within their lives that can conveniently be abandoned (albeit temporarily).  The family connection never quite comes together though, as each of the brothers seems to be a 2 dimensional cliché versus a fleshed out character.  Wilson's portrayal of Jack as a controlling, if out of his depth, wannabe leader is reminiscent of his amiable turn in BOTTLE ROCKET, but never displays the warmth he so casually imbued that portrayal with.  The same can be said for Schwartzman, who seems to be reliving his RUSHMORE portrayal in every one of his subsequent roles, though with more watered down results at each reoccurrence.  Of the brothers, only Brody seems to bring any emotional depth to his portrayal, which is not a surprise, his ease at displaying grief or thoughtfulness with simple facial expression is a boon to the understated tone of acting that Anderson films are known for.  As the train ride embarks, we see the brothers squabble often and expected comic results follow, but without creating the underlying tension and love that should exist in the rivalry of brothers.  After a string of unenlightening visits to the scheduled spiritual stops, the brothers find themselves ejected from the train and here, away from the structured and very Americanized itinerary, the trio is supposed to begin to grow and reflect upon themselves.  After a encounter with 3 young Indian brothers (certainly numbered to make sure our 3 self obsessed brothers can get the point) death again touches their lives and is supposed to give them the opportunity to reconnect and understand the grief they have carried since the death of their father.  But at the point that the film should embrace this within the interactions of the brothers, Anderson chooses to go into his slow-mo music video mode, which seemed fresh back in the days of RUSHMORE but now comes across as the Anderson roadmap.  On cue, within his films, music is used to make sure the viewer realizes THIS is an important emotional moment.  Used sparingly, this can work well when it is a companion to revealing dialogue, but within DARJEELING it exists as a substitute not a companion.  Anderson seems to be falling into habits within his films now and that would be my greatest criticism of DARLEEJING.  As is typical with all his films, the details are exquisite, colors are lush and every detail on the screen is controlled and specific, Anderson certainly has a vision of what every shot is to be comprised of, but this attention to detail and to his own identity as a director has overwhelmed the film he is making.  As scenes play, they should develop the story and bring the viewer into an immersive world where one feels connected to and believes in the film itself. Anderson, increasingly, creates scenes that are beautiful, but emotionally bankrupt.  There exists a disconnect within this film that keeps the brothers at arms length from the viewer and if one never really sees them as actual people it makes it impossible to care whether they transcend their failings or not.  Later in the film Angelica Huston appears as the mother and does so with a gravitas that DARJEELING could have used far earlier.  Unfortunately at this point it was too little to bring this disjointed film together.  As with all Anderson films, there are many clever and fun ideas and Anderson's love of India is displayed in every shot, but on the whole this film is not the sum of its parts.  With all of the affected posing that occurs here perhaps it is no accident that Anderson's next work is the stop motion venture THE FANTASTIC MR.FOX.  Ultimately, I can only recommend THE DARJEELING LIMITED to Anderson die-hards and of course anyone that was impressed by the equally lightweight GARDENSTATE.

Grade: C+

12:18 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

RATATOUILLE current release dvd - Grade A
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

RATATOUILLE

"If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff" - Remy

Several years back writer and director Brad Bird gained much deserved notoriety with the aptly named CGI film THE INCREDIBLES, but he also helmed a true gem of a film that slipped in under the radar due to horrific marketing and unfortunately was missed by most of the US, THE IRON GIANT(which was their loss, THE IRON GIANT may be the finest family film ever made).  After viewing THE IRON GIANT I doubted Bird might ever touch such greatness again.  Though THE INCREDIBLES was an outstanding film, it never touched me emotionally as THE IRON GIANT had (the superman scene STILL chokes me up on every repeat viewing).

With the release of RATATOUILLE I have, in a manner, been proven wrong (not the sort of thing I readily admit).  Though not as emotionally satisfying as THE IRON GIANT, RATATOULILLE is with no doubt the most technically marvelous animated film I have ever witnessed (and I have witnessed ALOT, I'm a serious tooonhead).  Repeatedly I found myself shaking my head in disbelief as Bird repeatedly upped the ante as RATATOUILLE would build from one stunning scene to another, with each being a bit more marvelous than the previous sequence.  The details are magnificent, the progression of scenes that take place in and around water are a revelation, never has water been rendered so beautifully or real to life.

The plot is actually a rather standard one, trying to become more than the circumstances of your life allows for, a typical Jonathan Livingston Seagull moral.  In this case the story centers on a rat named REMY (voiced by comedian Patton Oswalt) with an enhanced sense of smell and taste and He longs for more than the usual fare of meals rats are accustomed to.  To avoid the garbage piles, REMY begins venturing into forbidden territory, a human home where he discovers cookbooks, spices and a love of fine food.  A series of unfortunate events occur and eventually Remy finds himself torn away from his rat colony and living in the sewers of Paris underneath a once great restaurant.  Here he founds a friendship with a well intentioned, but entirely untalented kitchen worker named Linguini. This partnership allows for Remy to pursue his passion in cooking.  It's this friendships dynamic that the film centers on and this unfortunately may be the one place where the film may have missed the mark.  By centering on food, younger viewers very well may become disinterested.  Though full of subtle humor and the requisite slapstick that is expected of a PIXAR film, RATATOUILLE spends a great deal of time concerning Remy and Linguini's emotions as they struggle with self doubt honesty and responsibility.  All of which certainly belongs in this film, but Bird's  script deals with these themes in such a cerebral and adult manner that it may just slow down too much to keep the attention of today short attention span youth (I spied my own 13 year old son yawning several times).  Don't get me wrong, all of this is handled in an exquisite manner; it just paced more for an adult audience.  I'm sure Bird wrote the script he intended, it just doesn't play as broad as THE INCREDIBLES or THE IRON GIANT did.  The film's primary antagonist exists within the kitchen staff, but a more important force in the film is the enigmatic food critic Anton Ego voiced by legendary actor Peter O'Toole. Ego comes across as menacing and powerful due to O'Toole's incredibly strong performance.  Often I have complained that "Stars" voices are inferior to vocal talent that exists in the animation establishment, but that is certainly not the case here (For an example of what I speak of look no further than equally legendary Paul Newman's lackluster performance in PIXAR'S CARS) Ego's shadow falls across the entire film as his previous review of the restaurant led to it's fall from grace.  RATATOUILLE's climatic scene involving him would seem rather mundane by its circumstances, but it is far from it.  This scene carries such emotional impact that it takes my breath away thinking back to it now as I write this.  Very rarely does an animated scene come along that will be remembered as an iconic moment in cinema.  Cinderella's transformation, the crashing of waves about Ariel while she sang in THE LITTLE MERMAID, the aforementioned IRON GIANT's superman scene and perhaps Japan's MILLENIUM ACTRESS's rocket launch.  These are scenes that if watched but once, will always be remembered.  RATATOUILLE's climatic scene belongs on this list.

With this film, Brad Bird has cemented his place among the greatest living directors of animation.  He joins Satoshi Kon, Nick Park and Hayao Miyazaki in what may be the greatest era for fans of animated cinema.  Ratatouille is a magnificent achievement that demands to be viewed on the largest screens available.  If you did not have an opportunity to catch this astounding work when it was on the big screen you missed a once in a lifetime opportunity, but do yourself a favor and take this opportunity to acquaint yourself in the comfort of your home with a truly great filmmaker at the top of his game. 

Grade: A  

4:58 PM - 7 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Hot Fuzz, current release theatrical film - Grade: B
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

HOT FUZZ

"Swan!" - Just about everyone

HOT FUZZ comes to us from director Edgar Wright and Actors Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, the same team that created the cult Brit TV show SPACED (find it on DVD immediately) and SHUAN OF THE DEAD, which very well may have wrested the title of "Greatest Horror Comedy of All Time" from Sam Raimi's EVIL DEAD II.  Where SHAUN OF THE DEAD satirized zombie films and the British working class (making the point that most of the living are just as much zombies as all the newly risen dead), HOT FUZZ tries to use the trappings of American action films to take aim at small town life and the politics of tyrannical town councils with the artificial sense of hominess and security they often try to promote.  For the most part Wright and Co.'s aim is true.

The Film opens with Simon Pegg as Sergeant Nicholas Angel, a cop that has dedicated his entire life to his duty as an officer of the law.  In his pursuit of law enforcement excellence he has lost his girlfriend and in fact has never made a true friend, save a peace lily he meticulously cares for (bringing to mind Leon of THE PROFESSIONAL) His feats of bravery and daring have also managed to ostracize him from the police force as well, as all the other officers' performances pale in comparison next to his uber-cop actions.  This prompts them to initiate a plot to have Angel transferred from London to the small village of Sanford where he can no longer make them seem inadequate (feelings of inadequacy most likely led these guys to a life in law enforcement in the first place).  As this sequence plays out the laughs are delivered at a rapid pace and as he moves from London to Sanford the sound and editing is so fresh and crisp it reminded me of what is so lacking in American comedy today. 

As he arrives, we are introduced to a number of familiar small town characters and his strict adherence to the letter of the law quickly riles them as they are used to a small town atmosphere.  This is also the case as he joins the local police force and a rivalry erupts between him and a duo of pricks (Rafe Spall and Paddy Considine) that both sport a Burt Reynolds moustache and the attitude that goes with it.  These two offer some of the best laughs in the film and should have been utilized to a greater degree.  Angel is teamed with PC Danny Butterman (Frost), the force fuck up, who appears to be an officer due to the fact his father is the Chief Inspector and for his love of action films.  It is during the progression of their relationship that the film stumbles.  In what I suppose was an attempt to spoof the self doubt and male bonding (male on male sexual tension?) that are staples of the genre, FUZZ managed to illicit the same response from me that every LETHAL WEOPON did... squirming in my seat wondering if the lobby arcade had any vintage video games (I tell you, if any theatre had the TRON game, I'd walk the hell out of a lot more films).  As this plays out we find the extent of law enforcement that is required in the village seems to be investigating the escape of a local swan (Played by the badass swan-actor Elvis).  That is until Sergeant Angel begins to suspect the Village's quaint feel and low crime rate may be due to far more sinister reasons.

In the third act the film shifts into full throttle action gear and does so in exciting fashion.  Scene after scene are clearly inspired by specific films (including Godzilla!) and many action clichés are embraced to the fullest, guns never need reloading and even glass deli display cases deflect bullets when one hides behind them.  In most films these scenes would be boring and leaden, but Wright uses a deft hand and they come across as light fun peppered with the sharp wit of the rest of the film.

Occasionally the film slides from satire and spoof to clumsy emotion in an unsteady manner and when violence occurs it can be shockingly graphic in relation to how light the rest of the film is, although one scene features a crushing impalement that is so ludicrously graphic that it is hilarious in its sheer audacity.  Though not as solid and satisfying as SHAUN OF THE DEAD, HOT FUZZ holds up amazingly well.  This is a movie by film geeks for film geeks and the passion and fun come right through.  Much like Tarintino's PULP FICTION, Wright crafts HOT FUZZ in adoring fashion and the love shows.  Unfortunately, too often young hip directors lose sight of what was exciting in their earlier work and worry more about how clever their films can be, but not how much fun they are (KILL BILL, anyone?).  Fortunately, Wright hasn't fallen into this trap yet, let's hope he never does.

Grade: B

5:22 PM - 7 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

The Host, Current Release Theatrical Film - Grade: A
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

THE HOST

"My message in this film is that for weak people in society, the world itself can be a monster." - Director Bong Jooh-ho

Director Bong Jooh-ho's "The Host" hails from South Korea and is in fact Korea's largest grossing domestic film.  There is a very good reason for this.  The Host may be the greatest monster movie of the modern film age.  The only thing that may keep it from holding this title is the fact that is so much more than a mere monster movie. 

The film opens with an American Military Doctor releasing chemicals into the sewer systems of Seoul in what is apparently a reference to real life events that occurred there in 2000 and strained ties between Korea and the US military.  This is just the first of many scenes within the film that take aim at the US as well as other institutions and the way in which they can subjugate those who are most powerless in society.  The films aim is true and as it progresses the frustration and fears of the common man are displayed in scenes that are funny, frustrating and most tragically very authentic. 

For all of this film's satire and classic monster movie trappings it is at it's core the story of a family and how tragedy requires them to come together.  After the introduction that sets up the creation of the beast, the movie shifts gears with a light comedic tone and we are introduced to Park Gang-Du (Kang-ho Song) a slacker with little motivation whose family runs a small food stand on the shore of the Han River.  As further members of the Park family are introduced their dysfunctional relationship becomes evident.  These scenes are touching and fun and a relationship between the characters and the audience quickly develops.  After our bond with the family has been established the movie yet again shifts quickly as the monster appears and surprisingly does so in full view.  Often with monster films we are teased repeatedly with slight views of the beast as anticipation is built to the big reveal.  But with this film, it is unnecessary as we find the beast is not the real monster in this film.  As the family is forced to confront the creature it is repeatedly obstructed by the local authorities, the media, the U.S. army and ultimately their own government. 

Often I found my self filled with rage or choked up with emotion as the film progressed and the fact that it could illicit such responses is a testament to Bong Jooh-ho's incredibly delicate touch. The Host shifts so effortlessly from comedy to satire, to monster film to a biting indictment of society that I was left in awe with the scope of what in other hands would have been a simple genre film.  Bong never takes the easy way out of any given situation and often I found myself surprised and astounded by the directions the film takes.  The film builds impressively as he ratchets up the tension and you feel the palpable fear and anguish of the Park family.  The film's excellent cinematography and editing moves fluidly with the pitch perfect Byung-woo Lee score and I found myself drawn effortlessly into the world Bong has created.

This movie should be required viewing for all film directors, particularly in America.  There was I time when America led the way in groundbreaking film production, but it is long past.  When I look back over the past year, there have been many well made and fun American films, but they always seem to play it safe and push no boundaries.  But international director's such as Del Toro, Cuarón and Bong are making films that can be fanciful as well as making important statements or at least films that require the viewer to engage their minds while dazzling their eyes.  If you are a fan of film or the examination of the human condition you need to find this film NOW, you have no excuse not to.

Grade: A

10:10 AM - 12 Comments - 11 Kudos - Add Comment

300, Current Release Theatrical Film - Grade: C
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

300

"This is Sparta!!!!!!!!!!" - King Leonidas

This film was made for testosterone drunk young male Americans.  It has close to no plot and lots and lots of gory violence.  There is little to interpret here, so I will get straight into it...

The king of Persia, Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), has sent his royal emissaries into Sparta to demand that the Spartan King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) recognize and give tribute to Xerxes as the ruler of all people.  Leonidas reacts by tossing the emissaries into a giant pit conveniently located at the gates of the city for the ease of disposing of royal emissaries and door to door salesmen.  After actions such as this, war usually follows.  But that is okay, because Sparta, unsurprisingly enough, is populated by Spartans, warriors who thirst for battle and believe the only honorable death is on the battlefield.

 At this time its worth mentioning the rigorous trials by which Spartans are raised. They include tossing any newborn who doesn't measure up into a pit of death (no one under 8 lbs?), taking children from their mother's at the age of 7 and sending them as pre-teens into the snowy mountains to battle giant wolves.  This being the case, I initially assumed there would only be the titular 300 soldiers fighting on behalf of Sparta due to the fact that 300 was the total number of Spartans that managed to reach adulthood.  But nope, that's not the case.  On top of a ridiculously high mountain there exists a colony of mutant inbred perverts that forbid the army of Sparta from going to war, so Leonidas takes his best 300 to the coast to try to cut the bastards off at the pass.  AND THEN IT IS ON.

At the pass, known as "the Hot Gates" King Leonidas and his 300 finally square up against Xerxes, King of Persia.  Xerxes (who appears to be the Grand Marshall of the world's largest gay pride parade) leads an army of over one million.  this seems to be about even odds versus the 300 Spartans and from this point on the movie becomes one looooong drawn out bloody battle sequence.  Wave after wave of Persians attack and are slashed, pummeled, chopped and beaten back.  Over and over again. 

Unfortunately, I felt as though I had seen all this before (though perhaps not in such a bloody manner).  This Flick is hugely derivative.   From stealing THE MATRIX's bullet time and pacing, to the shallow replicas of the LORD OF THE RINGS epic battles and even going so far as to nearly replicate the final scenes of BRAVEHEART (I kept waiting to hear Leonidas bellow out "FREEDOM!").  Also, there is a number of cameo's from previous films, such as a very pissy "Sloth", borrowed from THE GOONIES (who takes only a few minute of hanging with Xerxes to don himself a Phallic hat) and whole legions of "Orcs" who swing by after apparently confusing these battles with those of "Middle Earth".  Even Xerxes appears to be a 10 foot tall bald version of Jaye Davidson's "RA" character in STARGATE.  None of these beasts should appear in a story based on "history" but I suppose these exaggerated characters are meant to represent the corruption of power, or the evils of excess...  but at one point there is an orgy presided over by a goat headed man. As in a man with a goat's head instead of a human one.  Not sure what that's supposed to represent, but to me it symbolizes that you should never have sex with "Goat-Head Man".  That should be pretty self evident. And while I'm going on about unreal characters, let me bitch about the "regular" people in this film.  The Spartan warriors are so ripped that it is apparent that not only is SPARTA the land of the greatest warriors, it is also the land of the fewest carbs.  Also, Sparta must have an overabundance of oil (all the better to rub one's body down with) and a severe clothing shortage (not that that matters, most of them end up on everyone's floors).  But ultimately none of this focus on superficial appearances matters much, as the film seems to focus primarily on one thing above all others.  Beheadings.  Lots and lots of beheadings.  More beheadings than Henry the VIII ordered, more beheadings than the French Revolution.  Hell, speaking of mutants earlier, this pic has a giant fatman with crab-swords for arms (can't explain it much better than that) who's sole purpose is to behead people in what is destined to be this year's biggest "What the Fuck?" cinematic moment. I could go on, but it would be pointless.

Technically speaking, the film IS visually arresting, but after about 30 minutes in it becomes laborious and its incessant use of "Bullet time" began to make me dizzy.   It would speed forward, slow to a crawl and pause in complete choreography with the ridiculous Tyler Bates techno/metal score and it appears only to exist so the camera can freeze on the "Money Shots" (not the kind the costume design would suggest).  I assume these frozen moments are representations of actual frames from the Graphic Novel and I've even considered paging through it to see how many of these shots actually are true to the source material.  But to do so would require me to revisit the dialogue, which is so testosterone heavy, my head would explode in a cloud of blood and gore. This, of course, is right in line with the blood drenched effects of the movie, but I don't think I would find it very pleasant (either the exploding head or reading the book).

This film is so overindulgent and excessive it is guaranteed to be a monster hit in America (as the opening weekend take of 70 Million dollars attests to).  And I was entertained, but primarily it was because I found it to be the funniest unintentional comedy I've seen in years (just beating out CRANK which pandered to the audience with many of the same elements, just not as stylistically).  So I guess if you are looking for lots of violence, not much plot and more violence (or you just happen to be under 20) this film may be just what you are looking for. But if you search for anything more from a highly stylized graphic novel adaptation, re-rent SIN CITY or ROAD TO PERDITION. 

Also, I should add, had I seen this when I was 16, I would have proclaimed it the greatest film ever made.  So on that basis...

GRADE: C

10:04 PM - 11 Comments - 15 Kudos - Add Comment

13 Tzameti, Current release DVD - Grade: A
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

13 Tzameti

"Everyone Stare at the bulb" -Master of Ceremonies

13 Tzameti is a French Noir that initially feels pretentious, poorly acted and clumsy.  It is also the most visceral, white knuckled thriller of the last several years.  The first 30 minutes of the film may come across as tedious and many viewers who don't care for foreign films may find it to be too art house for their tastes, but trust me, stick with it.  It opens with Sébastien (Georges Babluani), a French roofing worker who is struggling to help his poor family makes ends meet. He takes a job repairing the roof of an older man, who himself is struggling financially.  As Sébastien continues his work, he overhears his new employer having several mysterious conversations regarding a business proposition that offers great financial rewards, but at great risk.  Events unfold in a manner that allows Sébastien to take his place and it is here that this review becomes difficult to write. 

As the movie moves into the second act, it becomes a rollercoaster shooting down a vertical drop that threatens to punch through the earth and carry the viewer straight into the dark bowels of Hades.  That sounds hyperbolic, but I'm excited.  The event that takes place is so heart pounding and stress inducing, you will never forget this film.  In fact, you may hold this up as an idea to measure certain future thrillers by.  But to allow this film to have as much possible impact, I cannot convey any of the plot and in fact I would suggest if you rent the DVD, don't look at the cover, read the back or even look at the menus when you start it up.  The marketing of this film, which I suppose was necessary to get the public interested, gave far too much of the story away and having known the subject matter took a bit away for me (of course I wouldn't have seen it if not for the marketing, so I can't complain).  But everyone that I have shown this film to, went in without any idea and the impact was huge (by the way, I've probably pushed this one on my friends more than any other film since Chanwook Park's "Old Boy").

Sébastien is portrayed by George Babluani, who is the brother of the film's writer and director, Géla Babluani.  At first his performance starts very subdued, bringing into question whether he has the strength to carry the film, but as the movie progresses and his character evolves, so does his portrayal.  Later in the film a police detective interrogates Babluani and in the verbal jousting that goes back in forth Babluani invokes an intensity that recalls a young DeNiro.  Actually most of the portrayals in this film are fairly soft-spoken, as the situation doesn't allow for a great deal of dialogue between characters, but Géla Babluani's casting is so spot on, that every actor is able to articulate every necessary emotion by facial expressions and in this manner it gives the film a great visual punch.

Ultimately, the film pushes a fairly standard noir morality tale. Remember no lie is a small lie and if you make a deal with the Devil, you're gonna have to pay. No new ground is broken here, but that is of no matter. This film will make you sweat.  You will be at the edge of your seat and worry about the outcome of every action that takes place. If you're looking for a thriller that will grip you, you can't ask for much more.

Grade: A

5:41 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Masters of Horror, Current release DVD, Various Grades
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Masters of Horror

The masters of horror is an anthology series filmed for and shown on the Showtime cable TV network.  With each new one-hour episode a short film is featured by a "well-known" director. Unfortunately the range of "Well-known" directors is broad, running from household names such as John Carpenter (Halloween, the Thing), iconic foreign directors, Takashi Miike (Audition) and Dario Argento (Susperia) to relatively unknowns such as William Malone (Fear.com). I mean really does Fear.com count? does anyone consider this guy a master? Does anyone know who he is?

So far I've caught about 5 episodes now and will give each a short review below. As they are filmed for television and on a much smaller budget, they will be graded on a more forgiving scale, as all my television reviews will be (Film requires a higher standard).  I will post further reviews of additional episodes in the future.

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John Landis's "Deer Woman"

"You know, it's a woman with deer legs, motive really isn't an issue here."

-Casino Manager

John Landis's directing career has been spent mostly in the field of comedy (Animal house, trading places, Blues Brothers), but he holds a special place in the hearts of horror aficionados for revamping the horror/comedy genre with 1981's "An American Werewolf in London".  With that film he showed that horror could be graphic, frightening and genuinely funny at the same time.  Previous horror films dealing with humor always had at the least a wisp of camp or more likely never even attempted to go into the terrain of real fear, perhaps in the belief that the two emotions could not be joined harmoniously.  Landis proved this not to be the case and in doing so changed the genre and influenced numerous directors in the process. This being the case, I had high hopes for Landis's first foray into the masters of horror with the horror/comedy episode "Deer Woman".  Unfortunately, this episode stumbles out of the gate and never rights itself. 

"Deer Woman" stars Brian Benben (Radioland Murders), who gained some small fame in the early 1990's as the lead in HBO's "Dream On", which interestingly enough had Landis as director for 8 episodes.  Benben retains his angst ridden ironic personality that worked so winningly on "Dream On", but the material here just doesn't give him enough to work with.  He plays a detective investigating a string of murders that begin to appear to have been committed by a deer. Yup, that's right, the mainstay of horror films that strikes fear into the populous, THE DEER. Amazingly no one believes him, even though deer are famous for their ferocity, and Benben finds himself paired with the only person that recognizes the obvious culprit, a street cop played by Anthony Griffith.  My first assumption about Griffith's performance was that Landis must have lost a bet. To pay it off, he had to cast Griffith in this role, though Griffith had no previous acting experience. But, to my surprise, I looked the dude up online and he actually has had previous roles. His performance was perhaps the most frightening aspect of this show, I believe it must be the single worst performance I've witnessed in the past year and boy I've seen some pretty shitty performances (see "pick Me Up" below).

In their investigation it becomes clear that the murderous deer is a mythological Native American creature and in the search of traditional Native American lore, they go right to the source... a reservation casino.  I'm not sure if Native Americans should be offended by this episode, but I sure was. 

This show fails on every level.  At one point Benben is arguing with his Chief and actually references the events of "An American werewolf in London":

"In London, in 1981, a series of brutal animal attacks were directly linked to a freak wolf that was gunned down in Piccadilly Circus"

The Chief replies "This is not 1981, this is not London."

No Shit.

Grade: F

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Dario Argento's "Jenifer"

Director Don Coscarelli (Phantasm, Beastmaster) has had a bit of a career revival in the last few years with the release of Bubba Ho-Tep, the production of Bubba Nosferato and this very strong episode of "Masters of Horror".  It opens when Ellen (Bree Turner) is involved in a car accident on a secluded road and quickly becomes the target of a monster like serial killer who attempts to hunt her down through the rest of the episode.

Luckily for Ellen, she has a past that may have equipped her for just such an event (did I say luckily? Damn luckily is more like it) and she attempts to turn the tables on the killer.  The tension is taut and much like the enjoyable horror film "Jeepers Creepers" it works in a very "Monster is after you, run like hell" sense (side note, avoid Jeepers Creepers 2 at all costs, it is a homoerotic bus wreck of a film with a monster, really that's all it is)

Grade: B

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Larry Cohen's "Pick Me Up"

"You promised you weren't going to be a lunatic" -Birdy

Larry Cohen has built a consistent fan base from his low budget horror comedies ("It's Alive", "Q-the winged serpent", and the scripts for the "Maniac Cop" series), but he has never done anything for me.  I've always found his humor to be too broad and his horror too campy, and that holds true with this offering.

The story centers on Stacia (Faruza Balk), a young woman who is running from a failed marriage (and probably life in general) and seems to have a real knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The bus she is traveling on breaks down and sets the passengers as the center of a turf war between two different serial killers with vastly differing philosophies on murder.  This could have been the set-up for a humorous allegory on American business practices or as a satire of horror movie clichés, but Cohen goes for the easy jokes and horror themes and they all fall flat. 

Michael Moriarty (Law & order) goes over the top in his performance as "Jim Wheeler", one of the serial killers, but the material is so poorly written, he comes off as a low rent "Hannibal Lecther".  There is one true frightening aspect to this episode, though, and that is in the performance of B-Actress Laurene Landon (Maniac cop).  Her line delivery is frightening enough on its own, but unfortunately, her face was hugely distracting.  She probably was striking back in the 70's, but she has had so much plastic surgery she no longer appears human (bringing to mind "Jenifer" of my earlier review).  I know it's in bad taste to go after an actress's looks, but someone should have stopped her 22 surgeries ago. Now she is no longer acceptable in the roles of any ordinary character, as no one in the day to day world looks anything remotely like this.  It's really all I remember of the film, if it were not for my notes I couldn't write a review. I'm sorry to say the show wasn't scary, but she sure was.

Grade: D

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Brick, Current release DVD - Grade: B+
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Brick

"You better be sure you wanna know what you wanna know."

-Kara

Brick is an explosively entertaining debut feature film from director Rion Johnson.  In an attempt to reinvigorate the film-noir, Johnson's film has joined the Cohen Brother's "Blood Simple" and Tarintino's "Reservoir Dogs" as not only an instant neo-noir classic, but more importantly by heralding the arrival of an important talent in film that is not to be dismissed.  Like "Blood simple", "Brick" takes the bones of the classic noir and fleshes them out with excitingly fresh camerawork, inventive writing and a modern perspective that breathes an electrifying new energy into the genre.

"Brick" is set in a southern Californian middle class high school and opens with loner student Brendan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) receiving an alarming phone call from his ex-girlfriend, who appears to be in some form of serious distress.   Brendan then begins to investigate the seedy underbelly of his school in an attempt to save her from an unknown peril.  This set-up allows Brendan to move through a number of situations that involve many archetypal Characters either in conversation or confrontation. Unfortunately for Brendan, everyone has a story to tell, but no one's talking. Anyone even slightly familiar with the noir films of old will recognize these characters as they will many of the situations, and though occasionally coming across as gimmicky, Johnson brings such an energy and self assured sense of humor