Falling

I'm upside down,

falling up. Or is it down?

I can never remember which.

Here comes the ground,

faster each time I fall.

Brace for impact, here I come.

Down, down, down....

No, wait, I fell up again.

I wish I knew which way the sky was.

Up is down, down is up.

I'm always guessing,

never sure about things.

I don't want to fall anymore.

Come fly with me, instead.

I see the sun - there it is!

Let's fly.

12:30 AM - 7 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

HOLD THAT TIGER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Current mood: jubilant

NATIONAL CHAMPS, BABY!!!!

WOO HOO!!!

9:20 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The Writer

Thoughts blow about the mind like fallen leaves caught in an autumn dust devil. Dancing on the tip of the brain, just waiting for the right moment to congeal into something solid.

Please don't let me not know (she whispers) the substance of this thing taunting my memory. Helplessly she waits for that Eureka moment, eyes closed, pen poised. Waiting. Waiting.

It comes, finally.

Relieved, she opens her eyes and smiles. The soft scratching sound of ink flowing on paper fills the room.

12:41 AM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

The Winter Bed
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Writing and Poetry

"I'm going to bed. 'Night."

He kissed her on the cheek and headed off to their bedroom. In a few minutes, the sound of his snoring would drift down the hall, and she would have a little time to herself before she, too, would have to crash for the night.

It was the same every evening. Had been, for the last 5 years of their marriage. They had settled into a routine, and nothing ever changed, anymore. Where there had once been attraction or, every once in a while, even something akin to passion, there were now only nightly kisses on the cheek. The banality of their marriage made her sad, because even though she wasn't in love with her husband, she did love him. She was sure he felt the same way. But the only thing that stirred them now was their children. They had such energy, such promise, so much to look forward to - she fed off that, reveled in it, and it sustained her.

She had been in love, once, back in college. Truly, deeply, and wholeheartedly in love. Perhaps because it was so deep and so intense, the thrill-a-minute consummation of that relationship could not be sustained, and they broke up after a while. But even though they had not seen each other in twenty-something years, they remained friends.

She thought back to those long-ago days often, now. How they met, how they kissed for the first time during a thunderstorm. How they made love in the snow, their bodies freezing and burning at the same time. She remembered the image of snowflakes falling on his bare shoulder as he thrust into her, and she remembered something he never knew.....that at the moment of climax, a snowflake landed on her tongue when she opened her mouth to cry out. It was magic, taking that into her body at that very moment...something so unique, something so natural. An utterly beautiful thing.

She glanced at the clock and sighed. It was time to go to bed. She walked down the hall and slowly pushed open the bedroom door. Her husband had fallen asleep with a book, its pages held open by his heavy hand. She slid the book from beneath his hand and set it on the nightstand. She could feel the warmth of his body as she slid beneath the covers. The sheets on her side of the bed were still cool, and she shivered. She punched her pillow until it was just right, and closed her eyes. As she drifted off to sleep, her thoughts went back to the image of a snowflake, and it warmed her.

10:57 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Hangin’ in there
Current mood: tired

Well, my goodness! It's been forever and a day since I last wrote anything on here. Life has a way of sucking you in and not letting go of you, sometimes. I've been busy with my job, helping with my son's class on field trips, taking him to Taekwondo, my job, family time, my job and my job!! (Did I mention my job? OY!)

I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday season with friends and family. It's shocking to me that 2007 is almost over. Time passes MUCH too quickly, now that I'm older. Seems I just opened the clean, crisp first page of my 2007 planner, and here it is December 20th, already!

I'm not going to write much tonight, only because.....well, for a few reasons. One, I'm just too pooped to pop at the moment. Been a long 'ole day. Two, it's almost bedtime anyway, so I'll save writing anything substantial or meaningful for another time. And three, I'm slightly woozy after having one winecooler. (ONE?!? Lordy Lou! WHERE did my world-class I'll-drink-your-scrawny-butt-under-the-table bladder go? I was famous.....FAMOUS, I tell ya, when I was younger. "Course, I was 20 years old, then, too.....Sigh)

Anyway, just basically wanted to let you all know that, yes, I'm still alive. Hope you all have a great night, and if I don't see you before Tuesday....Merry Christmas!

10:34 PM - 8 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Random tangibility
Current mood: sad

a voice on the phone

electric sadness stabs the heart

so sudden, so young

beautiful family left behind

people to notify

people to comfort

"such a shock", they all murmur

wet hankies for multitudes

beautiful speeches

flowers, cards

a life that touched here and there

probably more than anyone will ever know

a good heart

a good person

miss you

never forget you

This is dedicated to my boss and friend, who died suddenly in his sleep last week at the age of 38. His funeral was yesterday. He will be missed.

10:14 AM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

A difficult week
Current mood: exhausted

Last week was one hell of a week.

Tuesday morning, about 8:15 am: 

I got a call informing me that our Executive Director, only 38 years old, died in his sleep while on a business trip in Chicago. 38 years old. Younger than me. He had a paternal family history of heart disease, but he was aware of it, and worked out every day, watched his diet, and took cholesterol medication. He was so fit and active, a great boss to work for, totally in love with his wife and two daughters.....just a great guy all around. Last person I would ever expect to pass away. It was devastating for me and everyone in our organization.

The next day: Wednesday morning, about 10:20 am:

My mom called and told me that my grandmother has been diagnosed with Leukemia. She hated calling me with that bad news on top of everything else, but hey, it's family. My grandmother is pretty matter-of-fact about the whole thing. "I've lived over 80 years on this Earth. The doctors and I will do everything we can to make me well, but if not.....I've had a great life."

Two people I love dearly. One so young, and one so old.

 The young one passing so suddenly, no warning at all. No chance to grow old with his beautiful wife and watch his kids grow and fulfill their potential. No chance for a do-over.

The old one receiving a diagnosis of an illness that, hopefully, can be treated and cured. She, having lived a long, active, full life, has the potential to live many more years if the treatment is successful. She has a chance for a do-over and for that, I am so thankful.

I haven't slept much in the last week. The news and the awful irony of the last several days have worn me out. The funeral for my boss was today. It was a very difficult thing. Even more than him being a great person to work for, he was a dear friend. I hope my grandmother does well with the treatment. I don't want to lose her, too.

10:21 PM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

You can’t look back...or can you?
Current mood: tired
Category: Life

Sitting here in the wee hours of the morning, Googling people I haven't seen in over 20 years....I feel tired.

T.M. is a lawyer with a large firm in a major city.

P.P. has his PhD and works with pro sports teams.

A.L. is the executive director of a corporation.

L.B. has a successful career, and his second marriage is working out better than his first. His many accomplishments are all over the internet.

Old acquaintances....old boyfriends....old friends....old rivals. Most seem to have "done something" with their lives.

Me? I'm sitting here in the wee hours of the morning, Googling people I haven't seen in over 20 years. Me with my little Associate's degree. My accomplishments are decidedly not all over the internet.

I want a do-over.

I'm so tired.

I'm going to bed.

1:04 AM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

These Colors
Current mood: nauseated
Category: News and Politics

"These Colors Don't Run," he said with a grim look of determination. He spent six years in the Army, and although he was never deployed, he remains as proud today as the day he signed up.

"No, but they bleed," I replied. Nauseated and sad, I turned down the volume on the television, weary of its constant bulletins about the growing number of casualties (both civilian and military) in that far off place.

I never told him about the day I drove past the local Army Post and saw a bird flying over the front gate, where a tank and a helicopter were displayed in a concerted effort to thrill and amaze any visitors. It was the end of the day, and as the easily identifiable silhouette of the bird banked and turned in the air, the late afternoon sun caught the edge of its wings. I gasped at the sight. "How symbolic," I thought. "Blood on the dove."

10:13 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Touch
Current mood: contemplative

Touch me

               Touch the sea...

Touch me

              Touch the earth...

Touch me

              Touch the sun...

Touch me

              Touch the sky...

Touch me

               Touch my heart...

I love you.

10:46 AM - 8 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment