My brother on Smackdown! His big debut!!!!
Current mood: Wrestley
Category: Wrestley Sports
This is so cool - my brother, who's been wrestling his ASS off for years in the indy scene as "Classic" Colt Cabana, had his big debut on Friday Smackdown! They changed his name to Scotty Goldman (I know what you're thinking...why not Wrestleberg Schartz)
...check it out (his intro is 2:10 in):
My mom was in town, so it was nice being able to watch it together. We both sat there looking like The Joker...ear to ear smile.
Get Smart - my first WALK OUT in over 10 years
Current mood: angry
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Oooooph.
I'm not hating on this movie because of some attachment to the TV show....to be honest, I never watched Get Smart. This movie had an effect on me as if I was watching one of those videotapes in "The Ring". I was feeling anger, agitation, depression....I couldn't fucking take it. I turned into a 4-year old, whining to my girlfriend "I wannnaaaa gooooo!!!!!!!" ..."Can weeee leeeaave!?!?!?!" We got up and walked out about an hour in...so, I guess this is just a half-assed review. But ya know, fuck it..this is a half assed movie.
This is the worst kind of comedy...the one that goes on for an hour without any laughs (and causes the aforementioned depression). Every "joke" out of Steve Carell's mouth is a bad 90's sitcom potty or pervy wisecrack, in his "uncomfortable straight-faced" delivery which I've never really found funny. It's got that annoying fucking crooked-mouthed bald rednecky guy that's in every shitty Will Farrell movie...it's got that fat asshole from the David Spade credit card commercials. Princess Diary chick isn't funny at all. The sight gags pretty much consist of people crashing into walls, or poorly edited set-pieces that have absolutely no worthwhile punchline. The editing is absolutely awful as well...THE EDITING!!!! You only NOTICE editing when it's bad, you know!? Seriously - at one point CONTROL's base is blown up ....a bit later in the movie, we see the base is in absolute mint condition, everyone's working again, all is well ....but then - a few scenes later, we cut back to CONTROL and it's in a state of disrepair, w/ people working to clean up the mess from the bomb ....WHAT!??!!? WHAAAT?!?!
There's another scene which makes no sense what so ever...Steve Carell falls out of an airplane, and Princess Diary jumps out after him maybe a minute or two later....she somehow catches up to him. Then this big bad guy catches up to them, cuts her parachute, and goes past them w/ his parachute......she goes down and catches up w/ him...cuts HIS parachute, then flies back up to Steve, grabs him, then flies back down to the bad guy....and then at some point, a new parachute deploys and they land safely. More than how she navigated thru a falling sky going up and down and up and down..where the FUCK did this parachute come from!?!? It's pretty clear that Steve doesn't have one, and the other 2 were cut!!!! GLARGHGHGHG!!! This fucking movie!!!!!
Even the plot sucks...it's a 90's throwaway plot....terror organization gets nukes, agents have to stop it. Yawn. The bottom line - this movie is basically like one of those shitty 90's Naked Gun rip offs....but without any visual gags or one liners. It put me in such a foul mood last night. A fucking comedy shouldn't have this affect on a person. The last movie I walked out on was Mortal Kombat 2....
Fuck everyone who had anything to do with this movie.
X-MAS = Xbox360: Monkey Ass Sucker!!!!
Current mood: crushed
I never imagined I'd buy an Xbox360 ...with the massive amount of defective systems and nothing to play but boring fps games like Halo....why would I bother.
But then they started getting some awesome downloadable games like Pac-Man Champion Edition, Alien Hominid HD...and the upcoming Rez HD. Then Katamari came out...and Virtua Fighter 5 Online...and BIOSHOCK. Best Buy had an awesome "mistake" where they gave away a shitload of free stuff w/ the purchase of an Xbox HD-DVD drive....so I took the plunge. I figured the newer consoles would be less prone to defects...
WRONG. I've had this thing for 2 months....barely had time to play it. I've got this week off and my girlfriend is outta town....you know what that means!? I'M PLAYING GAMES ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So - what do I get for Xmas? MY MOTHERFUCKING XBOX360 DIED TODAY! I guess this is what happens when you play it for more than an hour at a time? It freezes about 1 second into the start-up sequence. I wasn't even lucky enough to get the fabled "Red Ring of Death".
So after dealing with Microsoft's outsourced Indian customer service (they couldn't pronounce citi (CEE-DEE) or California (Carolina), I arranged to send my console away for repair, which means I'm Xboxless for about a month.
Well - time to fire up the PS3.
Greg
Currently
playing
:
Ridge Racer 7 Release date: 16 November, 2006
It saddens me to write this....since Spider-Man 1 and 2 are two of my favorite movies.
Spider-Man 3 fucking sucked...and I feel compelled to make a list.....Mild Spoilers ahead.
- Live action scenes in the opening credits. After the beautiful hand-drawn scenes from Spider-Man 1 during the Spider-Man 2 credits, I was hoping ofr something similar or better. This felt cheap.
- Sandman was the most retarded villian yet. First off - his motivations for crime is to save his daughter....cliche, but maybe I could buy it. Unfortunately, after one expository scene w/ his (presumably) ex-wife and daughter, you never fucking see her again! Not even at the end of the movie! All this bullshit to save her - but what happens!? I guess we're not supposed to care as much as he does.
OK, now lets talk about the "creation" of Sandman....he's running thru some field, jumps over some fence w/ a home-made sign that says something like "Caution - Molecular Experiments Ahead" ...then he falls in some pit of sand somewhere.....then we cut to some room of scientists starting an experiment. Who the fuck are these scientists!? Where the fuck are we!?!? Hello - this is a big hollywood movie, I'm sure these sequences were storyboarded before shot! ...I guess this one wasn't, cuz it doesn't make any sense. Show me the lab! Show some kind of connection between this sand experiment and the people doing it! OK - so, Flint Marko's been "demolecularized", whatever the fuck that is............so now, he's just a pile of living sand that comes back together on its own!?!? WTF?!?! This would have been a perfect opportunity to, I dunno - maybe show the scientists CONTINUING their experiment....show them RE-MOLECULARIZING the sand.......thus creating Sandman!!!!!!! RIGHT!? Then - how about Sandman is a bit angry about his newfound condition...how about he FUCKS UP those dirty scientists! Start off his life as a super-villian w/ a bang!!! But no, he just forms back together for no reason...and waddles off in search of some money for his sick daughter like nothing happened. "Oh - I guess I'm made out of sand now, whatever" ...FUCK THAT! I know this is all comic-book bullshit, but the other movies made it work. I could buy the military experiment and equipment that made Goblin (plus he killed all the guys he worked with...nice bad guy stuff!) .....I could buy the experiment-gone-wrong that fuzed the mechanical arms to Doc Ock (and who could forget the hospital scene where the arms come to life and murder everyone in sight!!!!) ....but this Sandman origin in Spider-Man 3!?!? BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!!!!!!!
OK, and Sandman can fly around as a sandstorm without any wind blowing him....OK, fuck it I'm done w/ Sandman.
-The Black Suit. Bah, this was all fucked up too. Spider-Man 2 set up J.J.'s son, the astronaut.......the symbiote should have come back from space with HIM! But no, it just lands w/ a meteor chunk, RIGHT NEXT TO PETER PARKER....oh, how FUCKING CONVINIENT. Lame. Then - you forget about the thing for half the movie until it decides to attach to Spidey's suit. Do we see Peter truly go dark....nah, he just dances around like a dork...but a dork with confidence. ...and - a scene that SHOULD have been done w/ the black suit was done too early! Peter/Spidey kissed Gwen IN FRONT OF M.J. ...what the fuck!? Peter knew she was there! That should have happend w/ the suit....DUH!
-Eddie Brock/Venom - The story starts to actually set up a compelling drama - Eddie Brock has a rivalry w/ Peter, Eddie digs Gwen Stacy, Gwen has a crush on Spidey, MJ and Eddie get jealous of Peter/Spidey......this could have been the whole story if handled right!!! But as it is - Eddie's barely in it, Venom's blown up almost right after he's created, and Gwen just vanishes from the movie entirely. BULLSHIT!!!!!!! A shame, cuz Topher Grace was probably the most fun to watch new character in the movie. He's not in it enough, and you sorta forget about him until he shows up again.
-The action.......SUCKED. The Harry/Peter fight looks like a videogame w/ a bad camera swinging around like mad........the crane sequence looks phony - and, Spider-Man saves Gwen from this big disaster..what about everyone else!??! He puts her down and takes off!!!! I like how in the other movies Spidey would fight some common criminals, and save lots of random people. Not in this movie. OK he saves a few cops...that's about it. The Sandman fights....ah who cares, Sandman sucks. Lots of weird mid-air punching physics. Look at the wonderful action sequences in Spider-Man 2...they had action, drama, suspense, and were nicely choreographed, w/ purpose to the shot and camera choices. Spidey 3 was just a rushed CG mess.
-ALL THE FUCKING CRYING! Every scene in this movie that's NOT action is just expositiony bullshit and crying! Aunt May just shows up to give boring relationship advice. MJ is just there to bitch about how much she sucks on broadway. Harry's just there to either be "WAH-WAH-WAH-MY-DADDY!", or "Happy-Amnesia-Tard" ...
-Hal Fishman and the News ....I don't need a creepy Los Angeles Newscaster STARING at me telling me what's going on in the movie I'm watching! I'm there WATCHING IT, motherfucker!!! Oh wait, I guess they couldn't be bothered to actually FILM sequences where Venom is mistaken for Spider-Man....so we need Hal Fishman to tell us "This black suited guy who we thought was Spider-Man REALLY ISN'T" ......thank you exposition-man, thank you!!! ...and the female reporter on the scene....again - like Sandman himself, she doesn't seem TOO freaked out that there's a 50-foot Sandmonster...she just says "oh, the brutality, I don't know if Spiderman can take much more" ...fuck you, phony-ass! Freak out about the GIANT FUCKING SANDMONSTER, not Spider-Man's ass kicking!
-BULLSHIT FLASHBACKS! OK - since when can you get away showing a flashback (in this case, Flint Marko killing Uncle Ben) that motivates the story...and then fucking REVISE the flashback later in the movie!!! The first time we see the flashback, Flint kills Uncle Ben in cold blood...but then after all the mayhem and carnage, Sandman feels the need to tell Spidey what "really" happend -and we see an alternate flashback...I CALL BULLSHIT! ...not to mention, why does Spidey believe him!? Cuz everyone is crying!? Bah.
-Gaylord The Butt-ler - Hey Butler! If you loved Harry and his Dad so much, why didn't you spill the beans earlier? Oh yeah - cuz it was a lazy-ass convinient way to get Harry to turn good. FUCK YOU, Butler! Aside from the "timing" ...what, is the butler an expert in Goblin Glider wounds?! He wasn't there, how does HE know what REALLY happened between Spidey and Goblin!?!? (Yeah, I mean...he's right...but still...fucker wasn't there)
OK, I'm spent....but yeah....I don't think I would be this ranty about a movie...but Spider-Man was supposed to be MY TRILOGY! I don't care for Star Wars or Lord of the Rings...and Spidey was 2 for 2 ........now I'll just have to pretend there are only 2 Spidey movies. *sigh* ...oh well, I've still got Back to the Future.
Family Guy and American Dad won Prism Awards!
Current mood: excited
So - I didn't even know what the Prism Awards were, but I found out yesterday that an episode I directed, "Deep Throats", was nominated for one. The Prism Awards are for TV shows and movies that highlight drug abuse and mental issues.....well, my episode was all about Peter and Lois smoking a lot of pot, and was nominated in the TV comedy category. American Dad's anorexia episode was nominated for the "Mental Health Award"
So - since we just found out this award show was happening, I was prodded into going, and Pam Cooke went for American Dad. I figured "oh well, what else am I doing on a Tuesday night...might as well take Julie to a celeb filled shindig" ....
....so, we're eating, drinking, having a good time....our categories come up ....and we WON! Holy crap - I had to get up in front of a ton of people and give a speech!! GYAAAAAAAAH! Pam and I are both kinda stage frightey - but I think we did fine....I said something like "I've never done drugs before, so I don't know how accurate my portrayal of it was.........but if I stop just one cartoon from smoking pot, I've done my job" ....Pam was pretty nervous, but at the end of her speech, Pam had quite a zinger (something like "Don't purge these beautiful meals"...haha) ....this thing airs on FX in November, so you can give me a review then!
Anyway - we snapped a few pictures, I put them in my pics section. Unfortunately I didn't have the time (or guts) to take any w/ celebs....I should have asked Danny Trejo! He woulda done it...heh. HRG, Isaac, and Matt the thought-reader from Heroes were there too!!! And Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore!
Currently
playing
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Mega Man ZX Release date: 12 September, 2006
You can see my house from here! And boobs!!!!!
Current mood: amused
Here's a little piece from G4's Attack of the Show about the NERDCORE calendar. What they don't tell you is that it was shot at MY HOUSE! Check out my arcades with the rare treat of GIRLS all over them!!!!
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