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If you want one, follow this link.

Don't forget to show us some love at our cafepress store.

Admission is $20, but if you're hott I imagine you can get your STDs for free. All profits go to charity, naturally.

Check out this email I got from an equally disgusted anonymous source, who also informs me that the building is known to locals as "The Aids Factory", inspired by its lovely graffiti.

This post continued at RationReality.com

Apparently, alleged criminal masterminds Alex Joshua Horn and Johnathan Anthony Porche tipped off police by inquiring about PVC pipe and gun power at a local Wal-mart. (Subtle!) 

However, it wasn't the police that ultimately foiled the alleged bomb plot, but the cherry on Porche's lit cigarette. 

The ash from the teen's cigarette ignited a bottle filled with gun powder shoplif–I mean, procured from Wal-Mart, causing considerable damage to Porche's residence and to the boys' persons. 

Perhaps we should listen to our parents when they say things like "don't smoke; it's bad for you" or "don't attempt to make pipe-bombs with stolen explosives, especially if you're dumb enough to keep an open flame around where you're making them."

(read the rest at RationReality.com)

                                                                                                                            -bagel

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A.J. Valliant

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Let me tell you something: The nations of the world have been getting free ride here at Beats Entropy for too long. In our early stages I was willing to allow them to coast on reputation and meaningless U.N. surveys (when assessing their relative worth). I fear this laissez-faire approach has given them a false sense of security in regards to our affection; made some of them let themselves go to a unacceptable degree. Time to rectify the situation.I present you with the inaugural edition of:

AJ Valliant arbitrarily ranks the Nations of the World.

The system goes as such: I rank each country by a highly scientific set of criteria I have chosen, producing an end score that reflects my assessment of them.

Note: this is the assessment of the Country as gestalt entity, and not necessarily a reflection of the individuals that make up that country.

The categories break down as such (The higher the score, the more favorable the review)

Style

• 0 to10 points
• How much style, panache, edginess, and distinct character that nation has.

What have they ever done for me or against me

• 0 to 10 points
• What has the country as whole ever done for/against me, AJ Valliant.

Flag

• 0 to10 points
• How cool/decent vs pathetic/boring is their flag.

Non Jerk Factor

• 0 to10 points
• Does the nation, in both international affairs and aggregate citizen's behaviour comport itself as a stand-up country, or jerkass nation.

General livability

• 0 to 10 points
• How pleasant it is to actually live in said country.

Wildcard

• -10 to +10 points
• Potential bonus/minus points for whatever the hell I chose.

Lets get down to business.

North Korea

Style: 10

North Korea's style begins and ends with their beloved leader, Kim Jong Il, the most craziest nigga on the world stage. It's like Joseph Stalin and Michael Jackson got together and decided the create the despot equivalent of Neverland Ranch. While brutal and repressive, there is something about his berzerko, hyper-megalomaniacal reality disconnect that that I find captivating. Maximum style points.

What have they ever done for me/to me: 7

No world leader/nation has provided me with more absurd sound bites, drama, and magnificent what the fuck? moments than North Korea. Come on: they told Australia they would "turn the sky to fire" because Australia conducted navel maneuvers a thousand miles away. They make Iran seem Switzerland. It's like someone gave Yosemite Sam control of a country…and that is goddamn entertaining.

Flag: 5

Fairly run of the mill, but reasonably aesthetically pleasing. I really think he dropped the ball by not having a golden hairpiece surrounded by chorus of angels on it somewhere.

Non Jerk Factor: 5

At first though this seems a sure 0; the guy threatens to plunge the world into nuclear winter every time his cable goes down. The thing is he's pretty much all talk; aside from testing some long range missiles and nuclear weapons. Ok, he's all talk… and testing. But he still has never actually managed to do anything outside his own country. He loses the maximum five for jerkiness to his own people, but beyond that his only external impact is rhetorical (and possibly plunging the world into Nuclear Armageddon, which would lower this score all the way down to 0).

General livability: 1

Constant starvation. No freedom of movement or expression. No contact with outside world. General unrelenting drudgery. On the plus side every home get snappy portrait of Kim.

Wildcard: + 7

What can I say, that bad wig/giant sunglasses/jump suit combo revs my engine.

Score and assessment: 35

I know they're evil, they really are…but it's the international equivalent of the slow kid in public school you would rile up at recess just to see what happens. There is a chance someone I like could be hit by his metal lunchbox; but there is also a chance he will hold down the fat kid and hump him till they both start crying: and that is just too funny to pass up.

Canada

(click to read the rest)

 Now, at Ration Reality, we are first and foremost a comedy site.  We are experienced in the art of finding humor in the mundane, the grim, and at times the downright fucking awful.  You want vomit?  No problem!  You want Neo-Nazis?  We got it covered!  You want incest?  It's here!

 If you had asked me a few days ago whether I could make the rape of a fucking ten year old girl funny, I would have said something along the lines of '*vomit* get the fuck out of my sight!'   Now, sure, I made a comic strip that had some child molestation innuendo in it, but even then - in the end it turns out that the little girl is just ordering a cheeseburger.

But this guy.

This judge.

A ten year old girl got raped in a park and he made a fucking joke out of it.

A little background information, first. 

Keith Fenn is a window cleaner by trade, and a kiddie fucker by avocation.  He's 25 years old.  His cohort, Darren Wright, is 34. 

These two …   I can't even bring myself to call them human.  These things found a ten year old girl in the park.  Fenn took her clothes off and fucked her in the park.  Wright brought her back to his house and fucked her there. 

Judge Julian Hall, QC, sentenced Wright to nine months.  He's already free.  Fenn was sentenced to a twenty-four month sentence and an eighteen month sentence, to be served concurrently, but he will be released in just a few weeks.

Why such lenient sentences?  (more…)

 

  

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Not living within 500 miles of Burbank, California is a two-edged sword.

 On the one hand, you don't have to put up with all the bullshit of California, Nevada, or Arizona.  Chances are good you don't live in a desert.  Chances are also good that your smog problem is very nearly nonexistent.

However on the other hand, you also do not get to have In-N-Out Burgers on a daily basis.

(more…)

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Featuring Dotty from our comics

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Let the pimping begin!