Gender: Male
Status: Engaged
Age: 30
Sign: Aries
City: Deland
State: Florida
Country: US
Signup Date:
08/05/05
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Blog Archive
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Friday, August 22, 2008
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What’s up in Raven’s world...
Current mood:  blank
Category: Life
This is a very boring post about all the different stuff that's been going on in my life lately. If you're looking for some entertainment keep on keeping on, lol. If not, then by all means keep reading...
So what's been going on in Raven's life these days you ask? Well we're still in our house but we don't know for how long. We haven't gotten a final word from the mortgage company about how much (if any) they are going to lower our payments. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
I'm still looking for work. Putting apps in, checking up leads in the Penny Saver, making calls, etc etc. Right now I can't find my work history so that makes it kinda hard to fill out an app accurately. Not having a work history at 30 years old really puts a dampener on new employment, not to mention my little "situation" that keeps a lot of places from hiring me.
My friend Bobby had a bad break up (again) with his ex and he's moved in with me temporarily. It's kinda cramped on Jenn and I's privacy a little but I can't let one of my best bros go homeless. He's working for a demo company but they don't have any work right now. He's looking for other work and we're trying to figure out a way to get the rest of his stuff out of his other house before the bank changes the locks on him and all his shit's lost. The worst part is how she did it. He went to take a physical for a job and when he got home 3 hours later her, her broke down car, and all her stuff was gone. No explanation, not even a "Dear John" note, Nothing....She's done shit like this to him in the past, took off for days at a time with other guys, fucked around on him, and he's taken her back like a dumb ass time and time again...Usually I'm all for True Love working out in the end and fighting through your problems to work things out and stay together but Not with these two. I've been telling him to ditch this skank for years but poor Bobby's head over heals for her. Anyway, I'm sure he doesn't want me blabbing on about his personal life so I'll stop there on that subject.
Jenn's leaving with her Dad to go to Georgia for the weekend if the rain doesn't stop them. I was going to go with them but now with Bobby here and Tropical Storm Fay still pounding us I don't want to leave Mom and Gran alone and I don't want to risk Bobby getting depressed and doing something stupid. So, I'm gonna chill here with Bobby. We'll probably get high, play video games, and watch movies all weekend. If Carls not working maybe we'll go get him too. I've been training Bobby in the ways of MySpazz as well so we might work on that too. I'm gonna miss my baby though :(
So that's about it. All the good and the bad. In one hand things have never been better, in the other they have never been worse. My philosophical side has been poking his head out a little and I've been getting the urge to write more lately. My fragile ego does miss being everyone's favorite poet as well ;) , so who knows, maybe I'll start posting regularly again, maybe not, we'll see.
To anyone who's made it to the bottom of this boring non-entertaining post, well done!!! That means most likely you're a true friend and actually care what's going on :). Thanks.
~RavenX
11:04 AM
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11 Comments - 16 Kudos
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
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To my Mom and Gran on Mother’s Day
Current mood:  grateful
Category: Writing and Poetry
A Mothers love is like nothing else in this world.
Willing to sacrifice all for their children.
A Mothers love gives a child the strength to live.
"Mother" is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.
I have been blessed with the kindest most loving family in the world, my Mom and Grandmother.
You have both given me everything I could have ever hoped for in parents.
I love you with all my heart and I'll always be there to take care of you just as you have me.
Happy Mother's Day
Love, Your Son, Todd
1:28 PM
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6 Comments - 12 Kudos
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Thursday, March 13, 2008
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As She Lay Sleeping
Current mood:  high
Category: Writing and Poetry
As She Lay Sleeping:
As you lay sleeping, I watch you dreaming,
and I know that you love me true.
While you are sleeping, my mind is scheming,
of a future that I can share with you.
As you get your rest, my heart will attest,
that our love shall stand the test of time.
Your beauty is enchanting, surely I’m obsessed,
but only because you are so sublime.
Close your eyes my beloved, I’ll watch over your sleep,
you’ll be forever safe in my arms.
I’ll guard your love always, your heart I will keep,
and I will never let it ever come to harm.
Sleep well my fair goddess, safe and warm,
with my arms wrapped around you tight.
I’ll watch over you in the darkness, I’ll guard you from the storm,
I’ll be with you in the morning because I was there through out the night.
3:17 AM
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14 Comments - 20 Kudos
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Friday, March 07, 2008
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How I Love You
Current mood:  inspired
Category: Writing and Poetry
How I Love You:
You are the most amazing woman the Gods have ever created,
your beauty and grace shine their light through out my entire life.
Our joining has been written in stone, so long ago fated,
one day we shall rule eternity together, always man and wife.
Every moment of my life I will show my devotion to you,
I would write our names in the stars if you asked me.
I promise to always be faithful, to show you that it's true,
I'll give you all I am and more, this is my decree.
You are my world, my everything, the very air I breathe,
without you I dwell in darkness, I have no light to see.
When you are near I feel alive, you cause my heart to seethe,
all the world seems full of hope because I know that you love me.
To say you are beautiful would not be enough,
you are also loving and caring and kind.
You're the most perfect creature that I can dream of,
you complete me, our souls are entwined.
Holding you is the most amazing thing I have ever felt,
nothing in this world can compare.
The fire in her eyes can cause glaciers to melt,
the sweetest winds are no match for the scent of her hair.
No words could ever say how much I love you,
no poem or verse can capture what's in my heart.
Stay with me and I will show you all I say is true,
and nothing will ever break our love apart.
3:10 AM
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15 Comments - 24 Kudos
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Tuesday, March 04, 2008
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When I Fall in Love With You:
Current mood:  hopeful
Category: Writing and Poetry
When I Fall in Love With You:
When I fall in love with you the world is a better place.
I see my future in a whole new light because of the smile on your face.
Just knowing that you love me makes me a better man.
I'll always be there for you, every day, doing everything I can.
When I fall in love with you, my entire world disappears,
you are the center of my attention just because you're near.
I live and breath to make you happy and to hold you close throughout the night.
Every day I'll do all I can for you to make everything alright.
When I fall in love with you nothing else is important, you are all I see,
and to you I'll give my heart and soul and I will come on bended knee.
I am stable like a rock with my love and devotion for you,
and if you say that you'll be mine always you'll make all my dreams come true.
When I fall in love with you the Earth will stand still, time its-self will stop,
our love will last throughout eternity until the heavens begin to drop.
No one will ever come between us, no matter what they say or do.
You become my everything..... when I fall in love with you.
12:56 AM
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13 Comments - 22 Kudos
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Monday, February 25, 2008
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Sexual Healing:
Current mood:  evil
Category: Writing and Poetry
Sexual Healing:
I'll bury my pain in her lust filled cries,
I'll find my comfort deep between her thighs.
She'll devour me with her wanting lips,
and I'll guide my kisses between her hips.
I'll make her moan and scream out my name,
she'll fulfill my fantasies without any shame.
Her eyes are filled with hunger, she knows my desire,
the heat from her body is hotter then fire.
She is my perfect drug, I'll always relapse,
and without her soft touch I think I'd collapse.
She has the cure to make me forget about you,
her sex is pure healing, a strong witches brew.
Her legs wrapped around me, her scent on my face,
my arms wrapped around her in a loving embrace.
When she's writhing below me I forget all the pain,
I forget all the memories that drive me insane.
Her body unchains my heart, her tongue brings release,
only lost in passion do I find a moments peace.
I can lose my mind in her, take solace in her flesh,
get lost in the pleasure of how our bodies mesh.
She kisses me deeply, runs her nails down my back,
while my senses are assaulted and under attack.
Her hands start to tremble, there's sweat in my eyes,
as she moans with pleased and fulfilled cries.
I'll please her desire, she'll bring peace to my mind,
as we move in motion to the rhythm and grind.
Her sex will release me, no more will I cry,
her body will heal me, then I can say good bye.
12:07 AM
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12 Comments - 23 Kudos
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Sunday, February 24, 2008
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Let Go
Current mood:  miserable
Category: Writing and Poetry
Let Go:
As I let go of my hopes and dreams,
and my blood red tears come down in streams,
I remember the love and the times we shared,
I know it was real, I know that you cared.
But now it can't be and you've moved on,
and it's time I looked forward to a bright new Dawn.
Yet still I remember how things used to be,
and I remember a time when you only loved me.
I wish I could say that it didn't end bad,
I wish I could say I was happy, not sad.
I'd rewind time and I'd play it back slow,
so then maybe I'd know it was time to let go.
Still I look back and I know that it had to be real,
I can still taste your kiss, your touch I can feel.
I look at our pictures, I re-read our letters,
and a part of me thinks I can still make it better.
I wish that I could but I know that I can't,
no matter how much I try, pray, or chant.
There is no tomorrow in which we are together,
the skies are all cloudy and I'm in for rough weather.
So I'll do what I have to, I'll get on with my life,
though it will be filled with sorrow, heartache, and strife.
I'll move through these days and these nights filled with woe,
and when I get to the edge I'll finally let go.
4:17 AM
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8 Comments - 14 Kudos
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Friday, February 22, 2008
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Memories of a Lie:
Current mood: dead
Memories of a Lie:
The only pieces I had were fading hopes and dreams,
broken promises and tangled lies, treacherous memories.
Thoughts of things that should have been, but won't now come to pass,
memories of the lie of you and me, thrown headlong to the past.
Now I know the truth, it was all a lie, I guess it wasn't real,
I guess it's easy to throw love away when you don't have a heart that can feel.
How your words cut me and tear me apart, they make me wish that I was dead,
and now I wish I could forget it all and erase you from my head.
Memories are a curse to me when I see your smiling face,
I know now it wasn't real, you'd rather it was him in my place.
The things you say to hurt me, they kill my heart and soul,
O Gods of old, please grant my wish, give me back control.
Hide her shining eyes and smiling face, burn them from my mind's eye,
take her love from around my heart before I break down and cry.
Let forgetfulness come to my soul, take away all that I recall,
Make it stop, make it end, before I let go and fall.
Every time her image flashes in my mind I wish that I was dead,
just a mention, or the smell of her, fills my heart with dread.
This pain is something I just can't take, I can't keep going on,
I gave my entire life to her and now I can't be strong.
I fought through hell to come back to this, a faded memory,
with all the hurt you've caused me now, why did I ever want to be free.
Bury me in some prison hole, erase this all from my mind,
even a fate as cruel as that would surely be more kind.
Please take these memories I have of her, they're tearing me apart,
I can't take the pain of her anymore, it's shattering my heart.
Everything that happened was just a lie, she said it wasn't real,
now I can't get past her memory, though there's nothing left to feel.
7:45 PM
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7 Comments - 20 Kudos
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Sunday, February 17, 2008
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Home
Current mood:  tired
Category: Life
Home. What is home to you? Is it where you keep your things? Is it the house you were born in? Is "Home" the area where you live? Yes, it is those things, but it is so much more. They say "Home is where the heart is". A "Home" is where people love you for who you are. "Home" is where you're always accepted. "Home" is the place where the people you love and who love you stay. "Home" is where you can be comfortable and relaxed knowing you are safe and loved by all around you. "Home" is where families and friends gather.
Finally.........I'm Home.
I was lucky. I had the support of two loving families. The support of the best friends anyone could ask for. I owe so much to so many that I can never repay the debt because it is a debt of love. A "Thank You" post is coming tomorrow or the day after for all those who stood by me while I walked through hell, but it will never be enough to show how thankful I truly am. Rest assured, I'll never leave again.....unless it's in a body-bag. For now though, I will rest and just enjoy being Home. Pictures are coming shortly as are new poems and posts.
Home....finally.....I'm Home!!!!!!!!!!!
4:11 AM
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25 Comments - 36 Kudos
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Monday, February 11, 2008
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Miss Me?
Do you miss me when you lay there at night?
Do you think of me much when I'm gone from your sight?
Do you long for my touch when you lay there at night?
Do you wish I was there, do you wish I was home?
I can't tell if you do since you didn't write me back,
I don't know if you miss me, my hearts under attack.
I wish I knew if you thought about me,
I wish I could tell, but I still can't see.
I know I miss you, your touch and your smell,
I miss your soft kiss that I knew so well.
I miss the way you'd lay on my chest,
and I miss the way you said you loved me the best.
Do you miss me at all when I'm not there,
have you missed me much, or didn't you care?
What will you do when I'm back and I'm free,
will you look me in the eyes and say you missed me?
I've missed the way light sparkles in your eyes,
I've missed it all these long lonely nights.
I know I've missed you, but I still can't see.
I've wondered for a while, do you miss me?
8:21 AM
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5 Comments - 9 Kudos
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Saturday, February 09, 2008
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Choices:
From him to me and back again,
you play us both at your beck and whim.
But in five or ten years what will you want,
or will you still be pulling these childish stunts?
I won't do this again and be treated like a dog,
I'm not going to stick around and wait in the fog.
Either it's him or me, you make the choice,
what's the final answer, speak true with your voice.
It should be obvious, who you should choose,
but if you don't choose right then both you will lose.
One will love you forever and always treat you right,
the other will play you and with him you'll fight.
I know it's confusing, not clear is your choice,
just remember we're real people, not your play toys.
I'm not a yo-yo to be pulled by a string,
and he's not a man or a fun play-thing.
It would deserve you right if we both walked away,
if we left you alone in the darkness to stay.
But I can't do that, because it's you I still Love,
and life isn't perfect, it doesn't fit like a glove.
So choose and choose well, that's all I will say,
and perhaps I'll still be there loving you every day.
Or maybe not, and you will choose wrong,
then you'll be stuck with him, and I'll be long gone...
6:04 AM
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4 Comments - 10 Kudos
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Tuesday, February 05, 2008
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How Long:
How long have I wished you were back in my arms,
How long have I dreamed of your unfailing charms?
How long have I waited to come home to you,
How long have I dreamed that you still love me true?
How much longer must I wait and wonder why,
How much longer until my soul dies?
How much longer until you see the truth,
How much longer will you coddle the youth?
How long will it take until you see I am stronger,
How long can this last, an eternity longer?
How long can you make me wallow in pain,
How long can I last under all of this strain?
How long will I wait for you to see?
How long, not long, for soon I am free.
How long until I give up on you,
How long is forever when my hearts broke in two?
So long are the days and nights without love,
So long without my Goddess who was sent from above.
So long has it been since I left your soft kiss,
So long now, my love, that I truly miss.
Too long has it been, without your soft touch,
Too long have I languished and missed you so much.
Too long have I lain dead, lost in despair,
Too long has it been, and now you don't care....
.
6:19 AM
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4 Comments - 8 Kudos
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Friday, February 01, 2008
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Through Flame:
Through flame and fire I walked to you,
so I could hold you in my arms.
I braved the demons and monsters here,
so I could keep you safe from harm.
I gave my life and soul for you,
yet you choose that you would betray.
You left me standing in the fire,
and in it's heat I burned away.
I withered in pain and agony,
while you ran and went to him.
Even though the flames burned very bright,
still my sight grew very dim.
A fantasy he has fed you,
but I know it won't come true.
And you still can't see me in the flames,
even though I burn for you.
Perhaps you thought you were doing right,
when you left me in here alone.
Maybe you didn't think it would hurt,
even though it cut to the bone.
In the end it all comes back to you,
for there I lay the blame.
Your betrayal is the reason I suffer now,
and burn to ash in endless flame....
2:30 PM
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1 Comments - 4 Kudos
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Trouble in Paradise:
Is you little man up to par,
can he give you the attention I did?
Can he fulfil your hopes and dreams,
or does he still act like a kid?
I gave you all I had to give,
I gave all my life to you.
But I guess that wasn't enough to give,
because still you proved untrue.
Don't think I'll take you back again,
for in you I can not trust.
I think eventually you'd go to him again,
to fulfil your wanton lust.
Is it really so hard to stay the coarse,
can't you pick one to love for life?
If the answer to that is "No", my dear,
then you'll never make a very good wife.
In the end you must have faith in love,
or heartache will be by your side.
Then you'll truly understand,
you were the reason so many cried.
2:19 PM
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2 Comments - 6 Kudos
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So Much For You:
So much for you, you silly girl
you gave up the best you ever had.
Too bad we don't have a future now,
we won't have kids that call me "Dad".
I hope you're happy with the little man,
and I hope you have a wonderful life.
Hopefully he can do all I did,
because I know I won't call you "wife".
Some day I know you'll be sorry,
and I know you'll change your mind.
Too bad by then I'll love another,
and to you I won't be too kind.
Your family can't stand your new guy,
and neither can most you know.
They'll always say you should have stayed with me,
but too bad down the road I'll go.
So try to stay happy with the choice you made,
it's permanent this time for sure.
Because nothing can make me change my mind,
this time I found the cure.
I won't turn around and I won't look back,
even if you say you love me true.
All I'll do is shake my head,
and I'll say "so much for you"....
2:04 PM
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4 Comments - 10 Kudos
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