This is the only time I wish I was still living in Denver
Current mood: tired
Category: Parties and Nightlife

I mostly hated living in Denver, but this week I would give anything to still live there.  Well, except for trying to get anywhere downtown in my own car would be a nightmare right now there, I'm sure, and they don't have much mass transit.  But I digress... 

I don't have much in the way of entertainment tonight... just a few housekeeping items.  Do you like how much I've written this week?  Do ya' care?  Yea, didn't think so. 

First off... I realize they just had like 3rd stringers and stuff in tonight against Detroit, but I want to know... do I even bother watching the Buffalo Bills any further this year?  I mean, is it just going to be more misery like the past few years?  Let me know on that one, k?...

If you are in town, that is my town Rochester, this weekend, and want to have a beer, come over to my house on Saturday afternoon.  Oh and you could even lift a box while you're there.    I'm moving, don't forget.  So, if you want to help, or just stop by and say hi, write me for details.  And screw you Pat - Straight Home Inn... I don't want to go to that next level with you anyway!  lol

The lovely and talented Delilah will be in Rochester this weekend also, so I'll be popping about with her and Douleur and Jeff at certain times of the weekend.  All are welcome.

Small change in plans for the weekend of September 5th gathering... Anthrogeek has pushed back her trip a month or two, but Chocolate Rob is still coming up from NY, so everybody is still welcome to come and celebrate his birthday with us.  I'm sure we will be karaokeing it up somewhere!!!  Write for details.

Back to the Denver thing.  Man I wish I was back there for all of the excitement!  (and then come back to NY immediately after the convention was over)  Did anybody see Obama tonight?  Rousing speech, good points, gives me hope, but I thought his wife was more captivating.  Not that charisma is the most important thing, but just in the way of entertainment.  But speaking of good speeches, holy shit Bill Clinton made me orgasm last night!!!  Yes, I know he's a pig in his personal life and all that, but boy do I wish he could run again.  He made me want to go out and change the world.  Hell of a speaker.  And we were in far less of a mess when he was president.  Sure, sure let the chatter begin.  I just think the US was much better off 10 years ago than now.  IMHO.  Oh, and gotta' love that nice Irish Catholic boy - Joe Biden. 

Alright, I gotta' watch Letterman now and then go to sleep.

3:26 AM - 34 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment

I am the caped crusader of...
Current mood: blessed
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I've decided my new profession is going to be in law enforcement.

That would be enforcing the laws of common sense.

I'm going to ride around in a sensible car that gets good gas mileage and leap out onto the street, run up to people and with a blast of an air horn, alert people to their wrongdoings.

This, I believe, is my civic duty, as I was blessed with super powers of… common sense.

I know, I know, it is a rare gift.  It is truly a blessing when one is born with the super powers of remembering to roll up my flair leg pants before peddling a bike.

Yes, yes… please… avert your eyes from my holiness, else the shining crown above my head blind you.

What sort of gifts do I possess, you may ask?

Well, just today, I saw a groundskeeper on my soon to be former apt. complex (yay!!!), using a gas powered weed whacker while a cigarette, with an inch of ash on the end, was hanging out of his mouth.

Mere mortals may not see this very difficult to figure out hazard, oh, but I was born with that miraculously complex super power of common sense.  Through my genius I was able to see that this dude could done blowed himself up.  He could make shit 'splode.  And being that he was up against the side of my house, he could make my shit 'splode too.  I know, I know, he was just an Earth bound being, what could he possibly know.

Another example… I saw a woman on the street, but she picked up a pigeon that was kind of hobbling around.  The pigeon got a little spastic, but she continued to hold it, pet it, and, yes… kiss it.  Now, thank God my superior powers tell me that a hurt animal can get really nasty. And… also, pigeons are the rats of the sky; they pick at garbage and eat carcasses of dead stuff.  So, thank God I have the vision to not get my face or hands near something that could bite me and give me bubonic plague.

(to be fair, this woman could very well have been a mentally ill street person, by her appearance and actions, and it's not her fault but I'll protect her anyway)

I have seen it all.  People that need to be saved and things that need to be stopped.  I will use my gifts.  I will help 'merica.  I will save America from  perhaps the most heinous of all breaches of common sense… voting Republican and lack of gun control.

(Oh yes, I went there, and didn't leave a tip)

(Again, please wear your special sarcasm goggles to view this blog.  Except for the part about Republicans and guns, I meant that.)

1:52 AM - 54 Comments - 70 Kudos - Add Comment

Are mind reading and inference mandatory to date a man?
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Romance and Relationships

My computer and Myspace can just fucking eat my labia majora right now.  I'm so pissed.  Between the 2 I have written about 4 blogs tonight that disappeared.  Fuck fuck fuckity McFuckstick.

All I had was one stupid question... are men capable of expressing emotions verbally?

Or am I asking way too much?

Should I only expect an answer of "I'm still here aren't I?" when the question is "Do you care about me?".

Are men emotionally retarded or is it just the ones I find?

And no it's not about them not just being into me.  They pursue me and try to stay with me, but they ride the verbally expressive short bus while wearing a helmet and licking the windows. 

Is it dellusional to think that a man would say, "I love the way you make me feel.  I love being with you.  You make me laugh.  When I hold you I feel something I haven't felt in a long time and I don't want that to stop"?

Do I expect way too much or is this just how men are?

Should I only expect the answer to "Do you want me, do you want to make this work?"  to be... "I'll try"?

Give me the truth, I can handle it.

Do men liken talking about their feelings to shitting out a railroad spike?

Input on this is mandatory...

3:34 AM - 88 Comments - 98 Kudos - Add Comment

If blood is thicker than water, then what about a Bloody Mary?
Current mood: blah
Category: Life

Well, here I am... I'm back.

I went out to Arizona with my kids to celebrate my parent's 60th anniversary.  All of my brothers and sisters were there with all of their kids, blah blah blah.  I'm the youngest of 6 kids, I'm sure you know.

It was fun I guess, but I just really couldn't enjoy myself because of all the things on my mind, and all the things I have to do this week (final papers and moving and sending out resumes).  I just couldn't put that stuff out of my mind for a minute.  Oh well, life doesn't stop just because I went out of town.  That shit seems to follow ya'...

I did realize a few things on my trip though.  As usual, I mostly prefer hanging out with the grandchildren as opposed to my own siblings.  And that's for a couple of reasons, one is because I think I have more in common with the kids, and two I feel more accepted by the kids than my siblings.  I don't mean to get pity for that, it's just a fact. 

Like... have any of you ever thought about how the hell you are related to some people sometimes when you are so different?  You know, sometime do you question how 2 (or 3 or 4 or 5) people that were raised in the same household can be so different?  Not just siblings either... you may be completely different from your own parents?  How's that play into nurture vs. nature, huh? 

You share the same genes... yet you are different.  Sure, you may all have the same big ass or blue eyes... but one of you has masters degree and the other is a high school dropout?

You share the same environment growing up... yet you are different.  Sure you raised by a set of devout Catholics, but one of you is a priest and the other became an atheist?

I mean, I guess I'm not that different from my brothers and sisters, we are all educated, professionals, parents, with a flare for the intellectual.  And the thing that holds us together is or love of alcohol.  The booze never stops flowing at family events.  Hey, I've seen families that contain polar opposites... one good friend of mine was raised by wonderful parents, the father was a dentist, and the mother a very involved homemaker.  An old money family, if you will.  But within that family, 2 of the kids are professionals and well to do, the other 2 kids are, well let's just say lost, both college dropouts, never really had jobs they stuck with and feel more comfortable in workboots and jeans.  So... how does that all come about?

Why don't I want to sit with 2 of my sisters and talk about recipes and shit?  My other sister just wants to talk about... um, I don't know, I think she just wants to analyze everyone (huh, we should have that in common, shouldn't we, but she's totally Type A, I am not).  But I like her, she at least asks me questions about my life and cares.  My one brother I have a shitload in common with but he doesn't see it ( I guess it's because I don't lead some glamorous, high powered lifestyle) and he could give a rat's ass about what I do.  And my other brother, he is as sweet as can be but we really don't have much in common.  He's 11 years older and is into all that nature hiking, biking shit and lives to all that fake boring yuppie music like Dave Matthews and shit.  Like all  my siblings, he will go on and on about all of his exploits, but when it comes to asking someone else about their stuff, he's clueless.

But like I said, unless you have done something like take a trip to Kenya (my sister) or our families town of origin in Ireland (my sister) or litigated a case against Leona Helmsley (my brother, of course before she died), then mostly nobody really cares.

See, I come from a family of overachievers.  You see where I get my self-depricating humor. 

I envy those of you out there that have a sibling that is a best friend.  In fairness to my family, it's tough getting close to one another when there are so many of you and the age difference spans many years.  But also I'm glad that I don't have a sibling that has tried to kill me either (yea, I know someone that shot and killed their brother).

I love my family, I really do.  But sometimes I still wish I had that child-like awe I used to have for my family.  However, as we get older they become human and have faults and we grow apart and become our own people.

Although, I think I am a complete fit on my Mother's side of the family, where a healthy Irish sense of humor was the thing that impressed everyone most.  Where being a goof and getting a good laugh, and sharing hugs and kisses was most valued. 

My Dad's side of the family was old money, educated and a bit stoic with an extremely dry sense of humor.  Think spending an evening with the staff of The New Yorker magazine. 

I'm proud as hell to be a Madigan... but sometimes I wonder if my Mom didn't get bored one day and ask the milkman in for a cup of coffee...

(Note: That was a joke.  To keep my Mother's good name, I know I am in fact legitimate, as my Grandfather had red hair and I definately have my Father's thick eyebrows, his leprechaun ears, and his hairy arms... and there were far too many children around the house for my Mother to ever get some alone time with the milkman.) 

1:27 AM - 53 Comments - 72 Kudos - Add Comment

Tales of an egocentric douchebag
Current mood: blah
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Here's a tip from your old pal Madge...

Ya' wanna' know how to stop annoying the fuck out of people?

Stop using the word "I" all the time.

Learn how to listen to people without ever using the word "I"... think you can do it?

When people are sharing something about themselves and they just need to vent... stop yourself from inserting that fucking vowel.

Egocentric people just annoy the living shitstains out of me (which is no easy fete).  Seriously, they are my big pet peeve.  I want to smash them in the face with a brick.  On Myspace they are the people that post a million pictures of themselves and take themselves way to seriously at how wonderful or sexy they are.  But the worst offenders are the ones I know in real life.  I know a couple of people that are incapable of relating to others in a way that does not involve themselves.

Consider this... a good friend of yours is saying how they are so overloaded in life by their job, cheating husband, sick children, going back to school, money problems, and weight gain.  As a true friend... what is the worst thing you can say?

"Oh, that's nothing, you think you have problems?  I know what it's like my cheating husband, and my bank account, blah blah blah.  It's hard and it sucks because I have those problems too..."

X

Wrong answer

When someone you love (or even just like) is counting on you to listen to their problems, the worst thing you can do is make it about you.  Sure you can maybe relate a story of how you handled a similar situation, but it's not a pissing contest.  This tip applies especially in relationships.  There is no quicker way to piss off your mate.

What's the correct way to respond?

"Wow, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time right now, I can't even imagine how you feel, you must be mentally exhausted.  But you are strong, you can do it. I remember how I felt when my husband cheated on me, it sucks, but I can't even imagine how you feel."

See... first a little sympathy then some positive reinforcement, then possible a little empathy.  The I statements there were only to express sympathy and empathy, and not to launch into a monologue of how my life rivals Tom Joad in "The Grapes of Wrath".  Again,not a "can you top this?".

Learn how to give in a conversation, people.  I have been on a million dates in my post divorce life and there is nothing worse than the guy who sits there all night talking about himself and never asks a single question of me.  Oh yea, he gave a complete unabridged autobiographyof himself, but never so much as asked me "What do you do for a living?"  That is an immediate axe on a second date.  If you can't let go of a conversation and yield the floor to me, than I can only imagine what a great big suckhole of selfishness you must be in bed too.  No thanks... I'll stay home and wank, it'll be just as effective.

Conversations are not a device for you to constantly turn attention toward you.  Everytime someone tells of their news, like "My husband is in the hospital after having a heart attack and I'm trying to hold down the fort at home", you sound like a gigantic asswipe if you launch into "Oh I know, I remember when I had my heart attack I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and they wouldn't let me out and then they want to do another stress test and then called in the specialist, blah blah blah".  Shut the fuck up and just say, "Geez I'm sorry to hear that, hang in there".  It's not always about you.  Remember that... and maybe people will actually like you .  Stupid douche.

Peace.

3:20 AM - 75 Comments - 115 Kudos - Add Comment

This is why I suck
Current mood: bummed
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Hi, I'm Madge, and I'm a professional fuck-up.

No matter how good I am at one particular thing, I'll majorly fuck up something else in my life that will completely cancel out the good things I do.

Yup, that's pretty much the story of my life. 

I can't keep my mouth shut.  Never could.  It started when I was in the third grade and asked a nun, "Why are you so angry all the time?  What makes you so grouchy?".  She didn't appreciate that, and stuck my ass on a chair out in the hall.  Thus began my counselling career.

Wait, scratch that, I kept my mouth shut for about 8 years one time.  That was only because I was afraid of another person living in my house.  Never again.

So maybe I go overboard now.  Maybe not.  Maybe I don't know which end is up right now. 

I'm not very good at playing along.  I mean, I'm good at getting along, and making nice and maintaining peace, but if someone is just so blatantly wrong, I can't hold back.  Just because you make a lot more money than I do, doesn't make you immune from me telling you that you are a jackass and just plain wrong.  THAT, right there is my fatal flaw.

I've taken a vow to never hide my head in the sand again.  Hell, I didn't even take a vow, it's just an involuntary reaction.  But I guess that's not the best attribute when you are in certain lines of work that require ass kissing or diplomacy.  But how can I not defend myself when the VP of the development company that built a condo building you manage calls and he is blasting you a new asshole for telling a homeowner that his own homeowner's association couldn't get service because the bills haven't been paid (which was common knowledge, so I thought) and how shitty your company is because he wasn't made aware of this... when in fact his said development company owes my company $30,000 that we could pay some of these bills with, and he damn well knew that, I was in that same meeting when my boss told him.  I just have no tolerance for bullshit anymore.  I just can't pretend things don't exist.  I can't just do the step-n-fetch and say "oh yes masah, whatever you say masah, you is de boss". 

 I wasn't an asshole, but I just mentioned that he did know this.  Bad move, I guess.  But he knew I was right, that's why he was so mad.  But it's a bad career move to not continually stroke the people with the most money's cock.  I guess.

I walked into a major clusterfuck at my current job.  MAJOR clusterfuck.  Like, so much stuff was uncovered the week I had to run the place while my boss was out of town because of the death of his Father.  I wanted to slit my wrists.  Seriously, there was shit that hadn't been done in months, and just because I answered the phone and discovered it, guess who go their ass split in two?

Yea, I could have been a good worker bee and worked 70 hours a week and saved the world.  But I can't... I won't.  I refuse.  Am I lazy or am I committed to my kids?  The company make me feel lazy.  Those same people that have kids, but also have a husband that can go pick up the kids if they stay late, or make them dinner or take them to practice.  Or if they don't have a spouse to do all the schelpping, they just have fat, stupid, troublemaker kids that are losers that sit at home or don't finish school or get pregnant or don't go to college and just work at KFC.

I don't fuckin' know anymore.  I know that I have a euphoric high when I'm with my kids.  I know that my kids are all A students, very personable and well mannered, good athletes, and just great little people.  And the other thing I know is that I suck at work.  I suck at places that I have to deal with career cubicle dwellers.  I can't deal with people who have had the same clerical job for 15 years and will probably have it for the rest of their lives, never striving for anything more.  And those same people who strive for passive-aggressive dominance by "telling" on others or making that fucking pudding filled cake everytime it's someone's birthday just to show off how "thoughtful" and domestically skilled they are.

From the day I was born, I swear I was never meant to be a part of a structured society.  I can play nice within reason, but I just can't turn a blind eye to fuck-uppedness.  I call shenanigans when I see them.

And for this... I fuck up my life.

I'm looking forward to when I can be a therapist then I can just use my intellect and decipher the problem and devise a solution.  That's what I'm good at.  I won't have to stroke any egos or make any sales quotas, I won't have to be a cheerleader for my company.  I know you all mock me, but that's why I like Judge Judy and Doctor Phil... they just tell you how it is.  They don't pussfoot, or coddle, they just say, "Look, you are being a total douchebag", or "You're just a dumbass for putting yourself in this situation and stop making excuses!".  That's how I see the world too.  So, yea, it's hard for me to get along with others sometimes.  And especially work with them.  That makes it kind of tricky since it's going to be a few years til I can be a psychotherapist and I kind of have to earn a living in the meantime.

That's where the fuck up in me is.  I can't make shit work.  I can't just keep my mouth shut, even if I am right.  I'm not very good at playing the game.  And I'm lazy, I'd rather just be a mom than to run a fucking company.  I suck.  

1:48 AM - 86 Comments - 110 Kudos - Add Comment

The Life of Madgey... I envy that Reilley guy
Current mood: busy
Category: Life

Hey ya' little bastards!!!

I forgot to do something that I promised a friend I'd do, so I'm doin' it now before I forget again.

Who says I'm not a good friend?

Eh, probably a lot of you...

Anywho... One of our favorite little friends here "Matty" or whatever the fuck he is going by these days, got deleted or deleted himself or masturbated into oblivion.. I don't know... but anyway he is starting over with a new profile.  So here it is...

The real

Subscribe to his blog.

We love our little Matty.  But here's a piece of advice and this goes for everyone... I know you all enjoy being so witty and changing your name and picture all the time, but those of us who are slow on the uptake can never find you!!!  Say like when a bulletin comes out with your new name,  I won't read it because I don't know who the hell you are.  Same goes for blogs.  A new blog comes up from "Hung Lo, Master of Illusion"... how the fuck do I know who you are?  Then I finally realize you are that kid named Frank that I read.  It's enough to make me unsubscribe.  (I totally made up the Frank guy, but I have deleted people for confusing me too much)..

So, keep it simple.  Change your headline alot if you have a short attention span.  Or if you must change your username, at least keep one thing in it constant, maybe like the original name you used?  See, I could keep changing mine to things like, "Madge - Keeper of the Cheese", "Madge - Winner in Polish Horseshoes", "Madge - I'm Flummoxed!".  See, people would still know who I am.

Again, I love Matty.  Not picking on him... just making an example out of him.   That's maybe why people haven't found you again, honey. 

So, a few people asked, so now it's time for...

**MADGE'S PERSONAL LIFE UPDATE**

I feel like their should be theme music here...

So, yea, I'm busting my ass for school every night.  The term ends August 29th, so I am busy doing my final projects and handing in any last assignments for the 2 courses I'm taking.  It's a hassle, but I'm making it through.

I'm leaving for Tucson next Wednesday (8/20) with my chillens to go to my parents 60th wedding anniversary party.  All of my siblings and their kids will be their, my niece had a baby, so I think we're up to 25 in my immediate family of parents, siblings, spouses, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.  That'll be plenty of blog fodder there.  Oh, anybody that lives in AZ, I'm not too sure I'll have time to meet since I will only be there a few days and will have to spend it with family.  Unless those of you that live in Phoenix... I will be staying in a hotel overnight on Sunday the 24th because we leave from Phoenix like 6am on Monday the 25th cuz I don't feel like driving an hour and a half at 3am to the airport.  So if any Phoenix people want to meet then let me know.

What else... getting ready to move.  Will be moving into the house on the 29th.  I have a moving party on the 30th set up, so if anyone wants to join in for a couple of hours to move a few boxes, there will be plenty of free beer and food for you.  I already have a few people signed on, so come join the fun!!!

Also, I guess we are still having a Myspace gathering of sorts the weekend of September 5-7.   We are celebrating the visitation of Anthrogeek, so come one, come all.  Fellow partiers so far - Douleur, Jeff, Theresa, Pat, Chocolate Rob, maybe Jessica (yea, I remember you said it), maybe Bobby Ramone (yea, I remember you said it too), and a host of other local jackasses... including myself.  So let me know if you want to come visit... plenty of room, no hotels needed.

I didn't even mention my hell week last week, but why bother rehashing.  My boss' Father died and he was gone for the week so I had to handle all 12 properties on my own.  It rained like a mother so I had calls night and day all week of emergencies of things flooding.  I had people yelling at me all week, non-stop.  Also the wheel basically fell off my car in the parking lot at work.  The ball joint broke... had to have it towed to the garage.  $350 later everything was fine.  (knock wood)

And oh yes... I am still talking to Kilt Man.  I suppose we are having a pretend virtual long distance relationship, but I haven't advertised it, because really it's just kind of... well it's just there.  Ya' know?  He's there, I'm here, we talk everyday, several times a day.  We don't own each other.  We make each other laugh like crazy though.  And he is so sweet to me and says flattering things to me.  That's why I haven't been so cranky or losing my mind through all this moving and school finals.  He's supposed to come back here for work in Septembr.  We'll see.  He's in Brunei... 12 time zones ahead... what's a girl to do?  Eh.

And... kids are doing phenomenal.  The boy is getting ready to start high school, starts football practice next week.  He's been at hockey camp all week.  Girls are finally doing NOTHING right now, and I couldn't be happier.  Soccer finally ended... it was year round.  However, tryouts are in a few weeks for the new year of travel soccer.  At least I get a break.  But now the older one wants to play travel softball too, and the youngest starts her hockey season end of September too.  Ugh.  At least I get a break now.  The kids all start school Sept. 3rd.  Hooray.

So, there's Madge's roundup.  Come visit us, k?

And add Matty.

And tell me how you are doing...

2:57 PM - 60 Comments - 76 Kudos - Add Comment

Everybody was kung fu fighting... except me. *added content*
Current mood: curious
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

If I hear the song "I Kissed a Girl" one more time I'm going to jab someone in the eye with a rusty corkscrew.

This blog isn't really about that song, even though I do fucking hate it.  And who the fuck hasn't kissed a girl by now?  Jesus Christ, do something unusual.  Why not remake the song to something really shocking, like "I Fucked a Dog"?

Ok, so anyway, this blog is about violence.  I've often wondered why people react to violence the way they do.  I wonder why I react the way I do. 

Now you see that remark I made about the corkscrew above?  I think that's totally funny.  Like, it's totally ridiculous.  It's something I would never do in a million years.  I don't particularly revel in the gore of it either.  If I seriously try to envision that it makes me cringe.  But I don't even think of the gore when I write it.  I just think it's absurd and funny.

But on the other hand I absolutely cannot stand violence.  I hate watching boxing.  I can't turn the channel quick enough when I see that dumbass homoerotic ultimate fighting shit on.  That fucking disgusts me... 2 men beating each other to a bloody pulp while they roll around legs intertwined and locked.  I can't stand to witness a bar or street fight. I run away.   I loathe watching a video clip on TV of a real life fight. I cringe and turn away.   And yea, I really hate to admit it but I really don't like to watch hockey fights.  I mean if they are just kind of tussling and grabbing each other fine, but when the gloves are off and there are bare knuckle punches to the face, I have to cover my eyes.

I've always hated violence.  My family has never been into violence.  I don't think my brothers or my father have ever been in a fist fight in their lives.  I know... they must not be true Irishmen then, eh?  Well, we're Lace Curtain Irish, not Shanty Irish.  (if you need that explained, let me know)  My family watched sports growing up, but the violence was never glorified.  My Father was a huge college football fan when I was growing up. (My parents are both Penn State grads, duh)  But it was never about "Did you see that hit?!!!", it was about the finesse with the passing and the running... and the marching bands.  (we're well-rounded, what can I say?)

I don't know how much of it was being exposed to violence or not, or how much is I just don't have a stomach for it.  Nurture vs. nature and all that...

My 14 year old son can watch fighting on TV, however he's been known to flinch when a fatal blow has been landed.  I'm pretty sure he's never witnessed a bar fight so I don't know how he reacts to that.  But I do know, it took him a while to learn the "hitting" instinct in football and hockey.  He has never hit anyone with his fist.  And I know he has no desire to be in a schoolyard scuffle or streetfight.  I've always known him to stick up for the weaker kids and be kind to all people. But I know he likes to watch a hockey fight.  So what does that mean?

Why don't I like violence?  For one, I just don't like the gore.  I don't want to see blood or wrecked body parts.  Two, maybe it's not wanting to witness the humiliation of a person.  I think there is nothing that damages someone's pride more than a physical blow.  I mean yes, words and actions can hurt, but a physical beat down is what one fears most.  I think.  Anyway, it's a form of humiliation.  I guess that's compassion on my part?  Maybe?  Right?  I don't know.   Or am I a weenie?

Contrary to popular belief, I have never struck another human being in my life.  Yea, there goes my reputation huh?  But I do believe that if I had good reason, like someone had just injured or abused one of my kids, I would beat the living shit out of them.  I still probably wouldn't want to watch their face as I did it, but I would pummel them, that I am sure of.

So, I ask those of you that enjoy violence... why?  What feelings do you get when you watch violence?  Is there really such a thing as blood-lust?  Do you enjoy watching someone dominate another?  Think about it.

If you don't like violence... why?  What feelings do you get when you see violence?  Why?

Talk amongst yourselves...

** Extra thought here... I think one's penchant towards violence also has a lot to do with how much anger is in their diet.  If a person is harboring festering anger deep down inside, I think that definately will contribute toward their thirst for violence.  Say you harbor lots of anger deep down because your Dad beat you or abused you.  You are constantly finding subconscious ways to take that out on things externally.  I have someone very close to me who's like that.  He has anger issues, still not totally aware of the root cause, but I know something in his past really fucked him up.  When he was younger he was always in bar fights and he played hockey and he was a total goon.  I do think internal anger is directly related to how much violence you seek, as well. **

On a related note.  Internal anger is NEVER good for anyone.  Get that shit taken care of.  Seriously. Feeling angry all the time isn't natural and it's not healthy.  Everyone should get their subconscious anger level checked just like their blood pressure... because if you don't fix it, it just might mean giving yourself a heart attack and dying or killing someone else with your weapon of choice.  People... check your anger.  Just a PSA from your old pal Therapist Madge.

1:54 AM - 65 Comments - 106 Kudos - Add Comment

My love for the color green has been tainted...
Current mood: annoyed
Category: News and Politics

If I hear the word "green" one more time I'm going to cut a bitch. 

Or vomit. 

Or cry.

Or laugh.

Or put a cap in Anne Curry's ass during her next "How to Have a Green Vacation" segment on the Today Show.

(Please find some other shit to fill your new 14th hour that you've expanded to.  In fact, please fill Kathy Lee Gifford's mouth with a ball gag while you're at it.)

By now any ad exec that tries to launch an ad campaign around  "being green" and in fact just using the word "green", probably finished last in their class at the DeVry Institute for marketing.  Or they worked their way up through the agency after drawing "Tippy the Turtle" from the back of Reader's Digest and mailed it in with their $35.

I just never understand when some marketing people use an idea that's been done to death already.

It's like if somebody just said, "Hey, let's use some of that new rap music in our ad, I hear it's all the rage, aren't the Fat Boys popular?"

Ummmm, no... that was about 22 years ago and one of them is dead already.  But you can still catch "Disorderlies" on vhs.

Ok, I do agree that being more energy efficient and ecologically responsible is on most people's minds these days.  Pretty much anyone who drives a car or pays the energy bill at their house, is concerned with gas and oil prices and probably would be interested in conserving some fuel anyway they can. 

Fair enough.

But enough with using the fucking word "green" like you are some ultra cool hipster that just realized boot cut jeans were back in style.  (newsflash: they started coming back 10 years ago).

Maybe I'm just a marketing snob.  Maybe some of you don't notice.  Maybe some of you could care less.

All I know is that word is bugging the fucking shit out of me. 

Even if you don't buy into Al Gore and his merry band of global warming doomsday sayers, I still feel it's important to be responsible with our resources. 

Conserve water... you never know when they'll be a draught.  Even in NY, land of lakes and rivers and streams and humidity, we have had draughts.

Conserve heat in your house... it will keep your costs down.

Conserve gas and use mass transit... it will keep costs down and surely there isn't an endless supply of oil in this world ya' know?

Recycle... do you want the world to eventually become one big landfill?

Go ahead and be a douchebag and spout your "Fuck Al Gore" rhetoric... but we should all be more mindful of our usage of the Earth's resources.

But for the love of all that's holy, in Jesus Lefkowitz Christ's name... please stop using the word green.

Oh, one more thing... if you're not quite sure when something is cutting edge or hip and when it's not anymore... a good test is, if you've just seen it on Larry King Live... that ship has already sailed.

Thank you and goodnight.

2:27 AM - 78 Comments - 116 Kudos - Add Comment

Whoring myself for blog love!!!
Current mood: neglected
Category: Blogging

As if my life isn't interesting enough right now, I feel the need to stir up some shit.

I haven't had any good excitement on here in a while, that's probably why I haven't been on much.  Oh yea, and not to mention that I'm in school and packing up a house after I work all day and schlep 3 kids around.

So, I need a quick jolt.  A diversion.

I've been perfectly content to be (for the most part) the common sense blogger.  While not everyone always agrees with me, I usually make a decent argument for my beliefs and I'm not a douchebag about it.  So, most people just agree with me.  I have over 750 subscribers and I don't always get that many comments.  I'm wondering... how do I bring about more comments?

How do I get more views?  How do I get more kudos?  How do I get more love?  In other words... how do I conquer that last hurdle and become... a top blogger?

What is a "top blogger"?  8,000 blogs have been written about it.  You all know that.  Everytime I write a blog it's always in at least the top 50, most times top 25-30.  You might say that's "TB" status.  But why not have loftier goals?  You know me, I like to push myself further.

So, I've been on Myspace since January 1, 2005.  I've been writing blogs since October 2005.  I'm thinking I kind of suck ass if I'm not more well known than I am?  Now don't start giving me your assinine sermons about basing my self-worth on blog rankings.  You must have me mistaken for some stupid twat that has no life.  This is tongue in cheek... how sad is it that I have to actually say that?  However, what the hell... it's another thing to cross off my list.

Where do we start?  What new tack should I take?  (btw, tack is a sailing term, see now you learned something new)    What makes some of these people so popular?  Natural charisma?  Hmmm, not so much. 

* I notice a couple of people are extremely arrogant.  Being extremely arrogant draws people in for some reason, and it makes other people love to hate you so its a double edged sword.  You draw them in from both sides.  Maybe I'll try that...

Yea, you know I always have the answers.  How did I get to be so enlightened and you are all a bunch of dumb fucks?  I am a Myspace Goddess and you all want to do me, I know.  Guys, I will use you and throw you away faster than a Swiffer refill, but you will keep coming back for more...

(did ya' buy it?)

* Ok, next option... be really hot.  Ok, that would require liposuction, so scratch that.  No, actually there are some people on here who aren't all that hot, but certainly think they are and post half naked pictures of themselves all over and other people eat that shit up with a spoon.

I can't even pretend to go for this option because I have self-respect and I've done a reality check.  So, yea, uh... no.

* Next option... be America's sweetheart.  I could spread the love and be super optimistic!  I could be that girl next door that everyone just loves.

BAH HAHAHAHAHA.  You can all go fuck yourselves on that one. 

* Onto the next... be the filthy nasty sex queen.  I could constantly talk about how I give awesome blow jobs, and talk about all the toys I use, and all the guys I bang, and all the women I've hooked up with.

Again... I have self-respect.  Besides... I know people on here!  And you never know who's reading your stuff!!!  I have a career, I'm out in the business community and I have 3 very active kids and I'm involved in all of their stuff, so I'll run into somebody somewhere.  I'm not gonna' be talkin' about all the 7 ways from Sunday  I've been violated in my adult life. (and believe me, I'd have some good stories for ya')  Not gonna' happen.

* Oh, here's one... I could try to be a really hip and cool Christian!!  I'll be a married pastor and post 20 year old shirtless pics of myself!

Whoopsie, that one won't work because I don't believe God wants us to be narccisstic attention whores.  (yea, I went there)  Can you say, "trying too hard"?

*A sure fire one is to bash the shit out of someone else on here.

Hmmm, I think that's what I'm doing in my own little passive-aggressive way right now.  Let's see where this one gets us...

*And another sure winner is to get a disease or have someone close to me have some health crisis.

Fuck I'll just make it up!  My dog has Onomonopeaitis, please pray for Scruffy!!!

I believe in karma, if I mess with that, something really will happen, so no thanks.

Ok, so what's it gonna' be?  Let's launch Madge to the top!!!  I'm going to rule Myspace!!!  Because this virtual world needs a queen, and her name shall be...Madge!!!  Send in all your pictures and write "I'm Madge's Scratch 'n Sniff" on your body, or hold up a sign!!!  It's all the rage!!!  I'm so fucking hip, I kill me...

(remember people, read this blog with your special "Sarcasm Vision" goggles)

2:12 AM - 138 Comments - 149 Kudos - Add Comment