Wait!I'm having deja vu.I think the last time I had a talkin' to from me… I bought one.
Mad giggles….
as the snapshots from that night flood my head
It's sooo funny.I just had a complete relapse of time.See, I was smiling as I watched the memories.My smile faded as the reel started making that funny click and slapping sound as the film broke… two minutes before the end.
Man, it's permanent now.See, his voice is on that recorder.
I went to get glasses yesterday. I was trying on glasses after glasses.There was an older guy sitting in a seat waiting for his wife.He was just watching me. This slimy dude walks over and tries to sell me some rimless glasses.He tells me, "Yeah, those are rimless."He proudly proclaims, "That's the same exact pair Palin wears."
I look at him like he just shot me. If I hadn't had to use my flexpay right then, I would have walked out.
I took the glasses off of my face, gently put them back and said, "If she wears them, I definitely don't want them."Then I made a puking sound.The old guys that was watching from his seat started cracking up.
I don't care if she is a mtlf/vptlf. Men will do a hole in about anything.
700 billion bailout
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Life
I don't know much. I never have claimed to know anything other than my own opinions based on my life lessons.
I would love for someone to explain, in human language, how this bailout will help us, the taxpayers.
I hear big financial guru experts speak, and they seem to think that it's all-great. Man, how is it great for me?
The government will bail out those who fuc)(*& us up in the first place, saving their as*(^&*(& not mine. The government will borrow from the Federal Reserve… the bank that owns the money printer. Not only will myself, and all taxpayers be paying 700 billion for a bailout, we will be paying the interest on the borrowed 700 billion to the Federal Reserve.
The Government has already spent my social security. We have none. It was spent years ago. The taxes Americans pay now don't cover the interest on what the Government currently owes the Federal Reserve.
I haven't looked at my 401K because I'm scared to death. I would bet that I lost more than what I will owe in taxes for the next three to four years.
If they are gonna print 700 billion dollars to fix the economy, why don't they give it back to the American people? Then maybe we can catch up on all the Mortgages. With all that money floating around, surely those who need to refinance would be able to do so. The banks would be getting their money. Then I'd like to pay the Government back, interest going to me. Now that would be a change.
Cindy Callinsky
Yeah.... lets call it a rescue and not a bailout. That makes me feel so much better -I'm being a smart ass if you don't know me. I feel even better knowing the the 700 billion is nothing compared to what we, the Americans, lost in the stock market crash. It cost more than a trillion while these butt heads are moving shit around to try and save their millions. That's why it crashed. Hello? Anybody out there listening?
This is gonna be a long one. I'll be all over the place because that's how I feel inside… all jumbled up.
I've been trying really hard to get back in tune with whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing. I've had a very difficult year. No worse than many others. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that it has been difficult for me. There have been massive amounts of joy and massive amounts of fear and hurt in my life.
John and I had issues this last year. It's the first time that we've had them. I guess that comes with his age. It was very hard to deal with. I came very close to losing my car and damn near lost my house. You wanna talk about freaking out. There were days that I didn't know how I could possibly get through them. Now, that being said… John and I would never have been homeless or even without a car. I have some very wonderful friends here and more than one person offered to share their dwelling with us, and even a vehicle.
Now, I'm not making excuses for that situation by any means. The thing is that when I look back over the things that happened that brought me here… it is absolutely crazy absurd. People probably wouldn't believe me if I listed them off. The word absurd doesn't even do it justice. It didn't happen all at once either. These odd things started happening just after I decided to go back to Washington. The paths that lead me to a near breakdown happened over about three years. The really odd thing is that it wasn't until I admitted to myself that I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon that shit started to clear up and put itself in order.
There were times when I would be driving home from work and I would actually scream at the Universe, "Why are you keeping me here?"
I ended up falling in love for the first time in like sixteen years. I mean, really in love. I don't know that it will work. It may not, but I have learned a lot in the process. Most importantly I learned that I could truly love someone again. I'm getting past the fear/hurt that I have carried with me for years. I found strength in the fact that even if it doesn't work, it will hurt like hell but I have the strength to get through it, heal, and start again. I know that I have it in me. I don't know that I had it in me five or even ten years ago.
Sometimes the things that are the hardest for us to struggle through are the ones that offer us an even better situation, a situation that we were meant to be in. We may not understand that at the exact moment but it plays out and we "get it" later. The Universe knows my spirits deepest desires, even though I may not. It is just doing it's best to fulfill my desires. If something is so unbelievable difficult that it feels like we are fighting the world… well, it's because we are and it wasn't meant to be. That's when you throw up your arms and say, "Okay, show me what you will."
When something is meant to be the answers come to you and you have faith in the fact that if you just do what you passionately feel, the rest will fall into place. I hate to keep harping on this, but it reminds me of writing the book. I heard a song at the little country store by my house. It was Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten." I felt the thought for writing a book about my life come to me. It felt so right. I didn't doubt it. I didn't think I'm not Oprah. I'm not famous. I'm not a doctor.
When I went to work I told Jasan I was gonna write a book. His first question was, "How you gonna do it?"
I replied, "I don't know but it will come to me."
About half way through it I started looking into different publishers. They just didn't feel right. Lulu felt right.
Thinking about the cover… I just thought until it felt right. Using the windsock actually came from a dream about my past. I never worried about how. I would wonder how and let it go. I was certain that it would come to me when it was right.
When I was about ready to put the final touches on the book Jasan and I had another conversation. We talked about how cool it would be to have a soundtrack. I was all about it but had no idea how that could ever be done. I mean, really. Come on. Then Gene Gregory landed in my lap through someone else. I love you, Gene.
I actually talked to Warren Allen Brooks, the writer of "Because I love you." I have all the information needed if I ever wanna option it for a movie. He is a very nice guy by the way.
For little old me, I've actually accomplished a lot in a short period of time. That's because I just let go and went along for the ride. It wasn't until I was dead set on picking my future path that it all started to fall apart. I'm not meant to go back to Washington right now. Will it be meant to be later? Maybe. I don't know what my future holds. I have decided that the unknown is not a bad thing. It is just that, the unknown.
We are facing a financial crisis as profound as any we have faced since the Great Depression, but there's something you can do to make your voice heard right now:
The Obama campaign is asking folks to support a responsible recovery plan that is fair to taxpayers and will fix our broken economic policies moving forward.
It's actually a very simple plan:
* No Golden Parachutes -- Taxpayer dollars should not be used to reward the irresponsible Wall Street executives who helmed this disaster.
* Main Street, Not Just Wall Street -- Any bailout plan must include a payback strategy for taxpayers who are footing the bill and aid to innocent homeowners who are facing foreclosure.
* Bipartisan Oversight -- The staggering amount of taxpayer money involved demands a bipartisan board to ensure accountability and oversight.
Join me and support these principles for economic recovery:
This one goes out to Anita.She will be the next big author… far surpassing Rowling.Man, Anita's shi(*^) is fabulous.When I know how and where to get it, I will let you know.
Congrats, Anita.I bow and tip my hat to you.
Cindy
UPDATE - Some paper work wasn't signed. They had to mail it to Anita in the UK and she had to send it back so it will be a few more day.
Anita Stewart's The Guardians.
I didn't want to advertise on your page - She is soooo sweet. Its available on Amazon. com and Barnes and Nobles. The publisher couldn't give us a time but the release date is the 22nd. Yes its under my name. Anita Stewart and it's called The Guardians. I'm currently working on a new series, well two that will combine to tell a story over six or so books. I've got another book called Genie. He's bugging me to write. Too many characters wanting my attention.
pissed off
grateful