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as this sweet tea heats my face and fingers and think about my long day, a day which i wish i could have spend in bed, with a book and maybe this same cup of tea.

lately i havent had the need or want to blog, maily because there hasnt been anything to discribe to a non audience. none the less not much has changed since my last blog. i didnt win or get close to winning the competition. sadly. it seems so very long ago, i remember it being warm.

i didn't pass my microeconomics exam- which i deep down knew i hadn't, but my optomistic self made myself believe i was fine which was great for my other units which i did well and passed with. amazingly. who would have thought a year three unit at uni would be much easier to pass than a first unit of microecomics... today i re-enrolled into the class. ill tell you if i passed later this year. remind me if i forget to mention it.

my resume' is top knotch, i got a buzz when carrers lady mentioned 'well with that written down, thats an interview already!' i'm actaully excited about everything again. its daunting, but thats a natural feeling. i hope.
i dont want to be someone who gets a latte' with one sugar because coffee is what makes them get though the day and i dont want to be the kind of person who has six sugars in their cappachino because they can't stant the taste of coffee, though drink it because they are old; its what old people do.
i just want to have enough to enjoy the taste of the coffee in my mug.

yes i deserve sweetness.

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253

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252

As Mum has mentioned before, life will teach you the rest. Of course this means a whole abundance of things ranging from general society to the kinds of things you do behind closed doors. but what I'm referring to is something less provocative and something more innocent but probably more nasty; customer service.
it feels as if my blog has an uncanny theme which sticks around like extra gum on your shoe, but in all honesty and respect ive been taught the excellence of customer service through life and a delayed v-line train service.

Stepping off my suburban train at Southern Cross thinking I would catch the busy 6:25pm train home, I looked on the screen which read that I could possibly catch a train departing in 3 minutes on platform 8. So, like all commuters would; I ran like a crazy person towards the platform, past a boy I saw that morning, past a few tempting vending machines, dodging a few slow-coaches and reached the doors of the train. Clearly impressed by my athletic efforts I headed towards a free seat and sat down and waiting for my heaving breathing and dry mouth to go back to homeostasis.

waiting... waiting... waiting... thinking this minute had turned to perhaps five minutes, maybe twenty then off we went, I didn't bother listen to the conductor tell us that the train had no driver and the train lines were not clear. I was happy to have made it this far, happy in my own ignorance that this train service would get me home in time to watch TV and not use a public toilet. Little did I know?

Re-capping on my day I decided to change the song I was listening too; I saw a few sour faces and realized the conductor was talking to us ticket paying delayed passengers. I pulled my headphones out of my ears and listened to the crackling voice over the twenty year old P.A system. WOW! This man knows how to move a crowd I thought, perfect customer service. It was not what he said, but how he said it, I'll give you an example.
"Sorry customers for this thirty minute delayed train, but we had some *mumble* *mumble* *mumble* with the lines and the *mumble* conductor. The next *mumble* footscray."

As blown away I was, I needed more... this terrific excuse, this was art to a humble McDonalds employee.
A few more times over the P.A system I realized how I can place this into my working life; it would go something along the lines of...
"HELLO!! We're just waiting on your *mumble* *mumble*, so *mumble* around the corner *mumble* thanks! It shouldn't *mumble* too long."
*smiles uncontrollably and closes the window*

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251.

We are given the name humans for a dignity reason. We don't want to be associated to the word or lifestyle of an animal. We see ourselves as intelligent and understanding creatures. My point?
When I'm working, cleaning up your rubbish I think about the respect you have for others. What happened to treating others how you want to be treated?
Sometimes at work I see myself bowing to you when I say thanks for waiting on your bloody big Mac.

Turning over empty large coke cups full of ice isn't respect.
Leaving melting ice cream cones on a table isn't respect.
Shitting on the walls isn't respect.
Peeing on the floor isn't respect.
Throwing pickles isn't respect.
Yelling because you have to wait isn't respect.
Crushing up mc.cookies on the floor deliberately isn't respect.
Writing your name in ice cream isn't respect.
Writing cash money over furniture isn't respect.
Spreading sweet and sour sauce over tables isn't respect.

Yes, you're right. It's my job to clean after you. But it's also your job to be a human.
What if that was your sister, brother, mother, father or best friend cleaning up after non-cultured arseholes?

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250.

Recently ive been comparing everyone to animals, preferably the ones which are wild and some domesticated, I'll get to this later.

I came to my realization on the train this morning, looking at a beer advertisement and it said "reduce carbon emission, walk to the pub". I looked over to the lady wondering down platform 4 and thought; she's been drunk before, maybe so drunk that she's vomited her dinner. But what the fuck happened to her vomit? Did she walk away and never think about it? Probably.

in this life we have so much pleasure time we actual forget what were really meant to do; fuck and die, just like some male spiders who purely only goal in life is to do that exact thing. This brings me to the topic of animals.

Wild or domesticated, we're all bloody crazy and too proud to admit it. We use so many things which end up making our life hell or just plain worse.
- Alcohol makes you sick and does things which a normal person just wouldn't.
- Smokining may cause side effects such as death; we've all seen the health warnings and Cleary we've laughed at the lady who 'wasn't always like this'.
- cars; were late to our ape bosses meetings or to our elephant teachers
- fast food; we act like animals wild and domestic when we have to either wait 2 minutes on a burger and fries, or drool at the thought of carrying our new heart attack on a black tray lined with in-store advertising.
- porn; the key goal which most animals have is to reproduce, basically we can't all be porn stars and have men with bigger genitals than a horse.
- Sex toys; first few times it might be great, eventually you forget the feeling of having something natural getting you off.

Animals also roam around in gangs or pack most males and female humans also do this, sometimes you might see a lonely mate though it's the survival of the fittest which we humans are attracted too.
You see this mainly with school children and most teenagers walking about in groups of 3-5. while the men use their high level of intelligence to call over females with the alpha-male whistle, women then come and 'swoon' to see which mate would fit their 2 week relationship.

Other animal characteristics which we humans possess are the disgusting and probably most funny, but there are ones which compared to my dog we have discovered from the ape, picking our nose; so yeah, we all do it and pick a few winners. It's a disgusting habit, but it's socially gross to have a big bogger hanging out of your nose when you're using your alpha-male whistle.

It's too hot to continue, I might go roll in some mud.

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249.

First dates & first impressions they ought to mean something.
You pig out, stress out, and go out.
There's nothing to actually worry about, you just got to play the part of someone good. The best way to do so is pretend you're the hot chick walking down the street that you know would look like a babe naked. Take on a persona, even better; make it your alter ego.

If the fuck head doesn't turn out who you thought he would, his missing out on your alter-ego. Maybe you might feel like shit, but it's not really you. Clearly, it's an easy and contagious cycle. Don't think I'm planting a seed, oh babe it's already planted.

But seriously, sometimes you're better off sticking with someone who you can smell like home cooking and greasy hair. Might sound like a nightmare to you; where you find that your mum is a dad, but fuck. You're not alone.

So next time you're on a first date, ask... Coke or Pepsi?

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248

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247.

To be honest, i can't fucking wait to do absolutely nothing and the only thing i have to worry about is filling up my car with petrol.
okay, so ill start from the beginning.

as of late, things get more and more annoying, intense, frustrating, repetitive, and uncontrollable; (fucking macro).
school, work, family, friends and just basically life is getting on my nerves; maybe its the pressure of growing older and gaining responsibility, but i'm allowed to vent like a year 8 school girl who's biggest problem is having no one to sit next to in math*.

lets start of with school; i'm a TAFE student. (you fucking uni students aren't better than me, you're bachelor of arts will only gain you friends and a general knowledge of utter shit) i work my arse off at that bloody school, attend classes like a dog with a bone. hand in work and travel a good few hours home usually.
i'm bloody sick of hearing 'you're smart so you'll get through it". most of my assessments are the same deal, you write a report on a company and make sure to add the little extras for brownie points. speaking off points, my point is why do people get through school/tafe/uni with doing jack all and still pulling off decent marks? they're obviously the people who are smart.

work; oh fuck, another weekend? i don't even have 5 weekdays anymore, i have 7 which start at 10pm and finish at 2am not to mention cleaning Melton's scummy toilets while you're tucked in bed, getting high/drunk or fucked. i'm here stuck cleaning shit off walls and cleaning dry ketchup off bins.
i too have weekend rights; i wanna see you give up 2 months of Saturday nights and see how Mc.Happy you feel.

family; so i don't want to seem rude knowing family members will read this and think less of me for blogging, i just want to raise one question which had me up at night thinking; for of 5 people, why do we have so much bloody cereal? i think mum's gone a little fruity loopy with the chucks of sweet goodness floating in milk. i realise she must want to have us up and going, but i don't want to eat cereal for the next month because it was on special at Safeway.

friends; oh hello, i haven't seen you in ages? what you've been impregnated by a commodore driving prick? you're SO lucky!.
sick of small talk, and sick of them rubbing in life experiences which ill happily experience when i'm not acting 25, but really am. i don't care if you're going on a happy holiday, studying more, moving out, or fucking a new man. a nice "hello i'm alive, how about we go out and have a drink or watch a movie sometime and catch up?" then i would think you're mature enough to act 25.

life; karma or just bad luck? do you know what... i don't care, really just over it. i used to be a karma person and sometimes you might get the odd 'thats bad karma' Rebecca but i don't believe it. you do good shit and think positive, petty shit like car problems, ATM's eating bank cards, wrong train tickets, working every Saturday night, not seeing your boyfriend and ankle sprains will be over-looked, but who has the time? i don't.

*don't be offended year 8's, its okay to worry about pointless shit, we all do it.

6:20 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

246.

deep inside swallowed hole.
we lay there knowing why we met, here, now, today, this second.
lets place a bet, who can see me pass? you? me? together at last, i know you
thought it, ill give you your last kiss and we will share our something lovers won't.
our final independence.
you'll see my last seconds and ill see yours.
bound by our thoughts, we wont forget.
deep inside, swallowed hole.

i'm your fucking god sent.

(08/05)

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245.

holidays soon, but before i settle into a slack mode of doing "nudda" i better get my assessments done. recently i just realised... "fuck, i have all this due and all this to be tested on and i have no idea what ive learned".

in hindsight of this term, ill tell you what ive learned; when your teacher is going away on long service leave, don't assume he/she are going away on a fantastic holiday to Queensland where the sun never stop shinning and theme parks are forever. instead... read their body language and realise what they are telling you about a holiday isn't exactly a walk in the park. a week later i found out my teacher was going to have a heart operation, and here i am telling him to have a good time at Queensland and soak up the sun before he heads down to wintery Melbourne. i felt terrible, horrible.

never put your newly brought met-ticket (train ticket) in your jean back pocket, it will get lost. i think that speaks for itself, it was a total shame, that $23.40 gone with the wind. while it made my day bad luck, it made someones good luck. i hope they really needed that 5x daily zone 1+2 ticket... i really do!

ALWAYS check your met-tickets when brought. not once, but twice was i coned in validating a wrong ticket! I'm happy with my 5xdaily tickets and twice too many times this year i have validated a weekly or 10x 2hour ticket. it was a shame that both times I'd brought my ticket from the same man, who conveniently decided to give me the wrong ticket. ive learned my lesson, I'm checking my tickets.

scummy people live everywhere, and not just in the western suburbs. thats right, you pathetic eastern suburbs retards, ive caught you out! we might have more impregnated teens and holden driving gangsters but what i saw only a couple of days ago shocked me. a feral, dirty man/boy asking my for a "smoke".
"hey you, little student girl... i know you probably have stresses from school" *right now I'm thinking... maybe his a salesman?* "but do ya have a smoke?"
oh please, you revolting unshaved pig, it really was disgusting and trust me, ive seen disgusting before.
to make matters worse, he turns around... and his obviously shit himself, sat in someone elses shit or doesn't wear clean clothes when his had a shit encounter. the poor man/boy  had some brown colour smudged over his white 'wu-tang' clothes.
to be honest, i actually felt sorry for him, thats someones son or brother. the last thing i would want are my sisters asking students for 'smokes' with unclean pants.

i've probably learnt other things, but really... how else are you meant to learn?

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