the artist formerly known as Reeves

I've had an interesting month. I took part in the final of You Must Be Joking at the Newbury Comedy Festival. Guess who won? Not me. Although I did get a "mixed" review. I've got "presence and style" apparently. I won't tell u what the reviewer said next!

I've also had to write a song about the fear of cows for Richie and Caroline at Breakfast. Not something I imagined doing when I was trying (and failing) to get into the Royal Academy of Music as an idealistic youth.

I've also just bought a Nintendo Wii. Unfortunately playing Wii Sports Baseball has aggravated an old shoulder injury and I may have to undergo some physiotherapy. I'm not certain what it is but something is clicking that wasn't before. Unlike my relationships with others which aren't clicking where they were before. (don't read anything into that. It just sounded good in my head)

I got the free Prince album with the Mail on Sunday. As much as I love the guy I can see why it's free. It basically sounds like shit tastes. It's really poor. Perhaps it will grow on me but I doubt I'll live that long.

I've written another song for my musical. This one is Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I've got Dracula and Frankenstein done now. My next one will be Cleopatra. Any suggestions???

10:36 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Analyse This

Long time no blog.

It's a mixture of illness and fatigue. Last week I was proper ill for about 5 days. So ill in fact that I couldn't even bring myself to eat crisps. Yes I know it's very disturbing.  I had to do a gig in London whilst in the grips of death and I swear it nearly killed me. It didn't help that the audience consisted of Israelis, Swedes, Spaniards, French, German, Australian and about two English people.

I'm also tired because I got back from Eastbourne at about half one last night and then had to get up to do my song on 2CR at 6. I thought the song was very cool. And the gig last night was in a very rough looking pub but it turned out to be really great. In fact the gigs are all going really well at the moment. It's quite disconcerting. I feel I should go on some self destructive rampage. I must fight against my self sabotage tendencies. I haven't done anything self destructive in ages. I am quite proud of myself!

I also have a stag night to attend on Saturday, a video shoot on Sunday at midday in London and then I have to get back for my Mr Kyps gig in the evening. Although I'm not M.Cing this month. I'm just too exhausted.

7:28 AM - 7 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Cleanliness and the King of Pop

I hadn't realised but I'm gigging in London this Saturday. It's Upstairs at the Queen's Head in Piccadilly. It's a great gig and it's always fun to play. It's probably my favourite London gig. Although I haven't performed there since awhile back. I've changed a lot. Different hair cut, different jokes and different underwear (finally).

I have a love/relationship with London. Well I say that. It's a hate relationship really. There's lots of great stuff to do but I don't enjoy the people. Just too many of them I guess. I also hate travelling to and from London and travelling within London. I'm something of a germaphobe and this does not go well with travelling on the Underground. As part of a transport for London study, scientists took swabs from seats, banisters, ticket machines etc. And they found every conceivable bodily fluid you can think of on all of them!

When I was given this information I went into some kind of hygiene meltdown. I have since developed a way of travelling on the underground and not touching anything. You have to stand in the middle of the carriage (seats are a no go) and make your body completely rigid. You also need to learn all the routes. So you know exactly at which points on the journey to lean left and lean right to keep your balance. It's rather like Michael Jackson in the video to Smooth Criminal. If you can perfect this technique it's very effective. Also if there are any mothers with their children with them, as soon as they see you doing what they perceive to be a superb Michael Jackson impression they will move to the other end of the carriage.

9:56 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Poor man's Crimewatch U.K

Just been watching Manhunt on t.v. What kind of filthy media world do we live in where some guy who used to be a dirty thieving bastard burglar (200+ crimes) can declare himself reformed and then forge some t.v career as a security expert. Sickening. I don't see the purpose in having someone describe the various techniques they employed to steal from people. It's like having a convicted paedo being allowed to go into a school and teach children not to talk to strangers. "Most of the time I used sweets, occasionally panini stickers"

Saw an anti begging sign in town today that said, "Help rebuild someone's life, not destroy it". I thought that would be a very rewarding job, destroying someone's life. I wonder what A levels you'd need?

2:25 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Death in Venice

Went to see Death in Venice (Britten) last night at the Coliseum. It's one of my favourite operas musically but I've never had a chance to see it before. Because of the scale of it it's rarely put on so I jumped at the chance to go. I think the musical gods were smiling on me and my friends because halfway through the first act (we were sitting in the upper circle) someone tapped on my friends back and asked him to stop moving his head!!! (he wasn't moving it anymore than anyone else – the guy behind him was being fucking unreasonable) During the interval there was a slight altercation. Staff were involved. Basically we got moved. But to really expensive seats right near the orchestra!

The show was pretty awesome and it was interesting to hear Britten's orchestrations in the flesh. This guy really does have some pretty impressive tricks up his sleeve. His string writing is sublime. Also the Gamelan inspired Tadzio music (on tuned percussion) was played exactly how (I think) it should be. There are only two recordings of the opera and the later one I think the Tadzio music really lets it down.

If anyone else has listened to the score I'd be interested to know what you think. I find it very hard to describe to people because it has elements of lots of different stuff. It has some serialist elements but isn't at all avant garde. But it also uses loads of very melodic pentatonic stuff aswell. The strange thing is I find it combines really well to create a very distinctive but unified sound.

I wasn't sure how I would feel about seeing the story portrayed onstage. It has quite a difficult plot in so far as it's a about an old guy who (Aschenbach) becomes infatuated with boy (Tadzio). And if you know much about Britten's life then it can become even more problematic. But I guess after seeing it the story isn't really about that. It's more about a man slowly losing his dignity. Which of course is compelling viewing. So I wasn't too sickened!

Any else have fave operas? (Musicals are excluded from this debate!!!)

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Currently listening : Britten - Death in Venice / Peter Pears · John Shirley-Quirk · James Bowman · Kenneth Bowen · Stuart Bedford By Benjamin Britten Release date: 07 February, 1990

6:25 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Ten Good Reasons

Just saw Jason Donovan on t.v. Apparently he's going on tour. I remember seeing him interviewed once and they played him the "especially for you" video to him and he got quite upset as it brought back a lot of memories. He started talking about his relationship with Kylie and then said it had taken him a couple of years to get over the fact that she had dumped him for Michael Hutchence (one of his heroes at the time).

I don't think he minds that much now. Well, she's got cancer and he's dead.

4:44 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Rowan Morrison

Watched "The Wicker Man" (again!). I've decided that this is the best British film ever made and that the song "Gently Johnny" is the greatest use of a song in a film ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42zkSLC0I2o

I mean having a room full of people below singing that you whilst you're shagging Brit Ekland upstairs. How good is that. In fact I'd say that Summerisle must be  one of the top 10 places to visit in a film. It's up there with Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, Narnia and Omar's Arse Fucking Anal House.

8:05 AM - 7 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The trouble with C##ts and Dogs

So Jose Mourinho got in a bit of ruck because of his dog. I don't really know the details. I like the guy. He's got some personality and I'll always listen if he's interviewed. But it did make me think about rich people and their pets.

Why is it that any super rich, super famous person has to own about thirty dogs? Have they become so alienated from real people and so mistrusting of those that surround them that they can only find companionship in a blindly loyal animal?

Everytime I see the Osbournes or watch an episode of Cribs it's the same. Here's my house, here are my dogs. I have a about a dozen. I'm never here to look after them so I pay some immigrant minimum wage to pick up their shit. Some poor guys job, his very existence is to look after the Osbourne's dog shit.

Cribs as a show generally makes me quite sick. Seeing smug celebrities show a camera crew around their house. "who lives in a house like this? – A cunt?". I particularly enjoy the way they give a tour of the property as if I've never seen a house before. Here is the kitchen – this is where things are cooked. This is the fridge – this is where the things to be cooked are stored at a low temperature. This is the bedroom – this is where I fuck my gold digging whore of a wife. She doesn't say much on camera. Why? Because she is retarded.

Those who have seen the show may have heard the much uttered line. Here is the bedroom – "this is where the magic happens". Please! Just say. This is where we sleep. We know what you get up to because you've told us a bunch if times in your sub r/b pop shit records. Besides sex and magic don't work. Although if you pull out a series of multi coloured handkerchiefs from between a woman's legs it can be quite stimulating. Just don't try the same thing with a rabbit… A rabbit's vagina is too small.

My favourite part of cribs is when they show everyone their cars or "rides". "Here is something that most of you will never be able to afford. I have ten of them."

7:06 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Belated eurovision blog entry

Finally watched eurovision last night. Thank god for Sky Plus. (advertising slogan potential?). I gave each act ten seconds to prove they weren't shit before I fast forwarded it to the next. Took me less than five minutes to watch the whole thing. I actually thought it was a rather weak eurovision in terms of the songs (I know that means it was really really bad). I thought visually it looked pretty awesome though. I thought Ukraine were amazing and probably deserved to win. They're song though was just slightly too shit despite their superb stage show.

Obviously my favourite was Russia. They were some seriously cute girls. Mmm eurochicks.  (please tell me they are above the age of consent - I don't want people thinking I'm a paedo) . Sounding kind of like the Sugarbabes but with a euro pop sensibility. Also the main girl has a nice gap in her teeth. If only she'd been wearing glasses I might well have found a future wife or at least someone else to send soiled underwear and abusive fan mail to. Sadly, Jet from Gladiators will keep receiving her monthly post as usual.

I've always had two songwriting ambitions. One is to write a Bond song and the other is to write a Euroviosion entry.  I'm not sure what my subject would be for eurovsion. Something to do with finding Peace in the former Yugoslavia. That seems to be popular,

"I stole your house, I killed your sun, After that I raped your mum
 So please forgive me, please come and live with me, this AK47 is a little bit fiddly, Forgive me"

Something like that.

8:44 AM - 7 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Mr Kyps Review Monday 7th May

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Monday 07-05-2007

Comedy Night hosted by Reeves Peterson

Despite it being the end of a long weekend, the Kyps Comedy Night still managed to pull in the crowd and put on a fine night of entertainment. As expected for the end of a bank holiday, the crowd took a while to warm up, but once the night's first act, Jim Grant, took to the stage, everything started to settle in. Jim immediately created a friendly atmosphere and eagerly got to know a few of the audience, before delving into his set, part of which was dedicated to the regular use of cannabis and its result when combined with driving and a police officer. The audience were next introduced to a special guest. Co-presenter of 2CR FM's breakfast show, Caroline Verdon was given the opportunity by Reeves to practice a short routine as a rehearsal for a comedy challenge set to her by her boss. Not only did she get a fantastic reaction from the audience, but she lived up to the characteristics of a professional comedian in the way in which her stories were told and the way in which the punch lines were delivered. In my opinion, a possible career path for Caroline. The excellent reaction was continued as Paul Redwood took to the stage. The crowd didn't get a chance to settle down as Paul continued the eagerness to involve the audience and generally kept the atmosphere at a high. Paul seized the opportunity to show off his own designed set of comedy mugs to Poole, which went down extremely well, as did crowd-interaction-extravaganza at the end of his set with his own version of a well-loved television game show. The monthly song centred around one of the most annoying parts of the bank holiday, the invasion of caravans, which allowed Reeves to produce a fantastic song. But now it will be difficult to look at a caravan without thinking of the Bucket and Chuck-it and giggling. The night's headline act was a fine comedic creation, fresh from Germany. Helmut took a different approach from the other acts, and based his act on one-liners. The intelligent, dry humour had some of the audience choking with laughter and others just struggling for breath (a very good sign if you're in comedy.) Helmut was the perfect way to round off the bank holiday weekend, and I do hope that he will be returning in good time. Review by: Kirsty Chant

4:26 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment