To Pay Attention...
Current mood: depressed
Category: Life

So I have come to a realization...

Many people already know this, and the gods know I should have realized this a long time ago.

I am a bitch.

I'm sorry to all my exes, and to any future exes that might be out there.

All I've ever wanted was to stay friends with an ex.

And it seems all I've ever done is push them away.

I'M SORRY.

I am...

Fucked up
Insecure
Neurotic and
Emotional

I am obsessive, controlling, abusive, and scary.

But once you get past all that and remember the real me, I am sweet, sensitive, loving, loyal, and so much more.

Dustin, I'm sorry I broke you and Knoka up. And I'm sorry for everything else I ever did to hurt you.

Chris, I'm sorry you're obsessed with me, and that it's taken me so long to understand why. I'm sorry we can never be more than friends.

Seven, I'm sorry I was so insecure and lied. I will always be here, and you know it. You've been one of my best friends for too long to ever think otherwise.

Richie, I'm sorry I destroyed your trust by cheating on you. And I'm sorry I lied to you. And I'm sorry I never told you about... Well, you know.

Jesse... I don't even know where to start. I'm sorry for everything. Most of all, I'm sorry I met you. Not in an I-hate-you sort of way, but in an I'm-sorry-I-hurt-you sort of way. If we'd never met, you would have been better off. So I'm sorry for fucking up your life. I will always love you, and I'm sorry for that, too. But you helped me get better, and you helped me grow. Because of you, I can blossom into the rose I'm meant to be. And someday, maybe, we can be fully blossomed roses in the same town, friends, and know that we helped each other grow up. I honestly don't know what to say to you... I can't fix things, and I know that. But maybe someday you can forgive me.

To anyone else, I'm sorry.
Anyone I've hurt. Anyone I hurt in the future.

I love you all, and you all mean the world to me.

Goodnight.

Love Always,
The Lucky, Loving, Loyal, Beautiful Lycanthropic Angel Who Needs Your Forgiveness

7:36 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Jesse, My Dear...
Current mood: rejuvenated
Category: Romance and Relationships

I miss you. I miss the old you. The guy that laughed at my jokes, my stupidity, my clutziness. The guy that forgave me my little mistakes. The guy that loved me with all his heart, and couldn't wait to show it. The guy that jumped to show the world how much I meant to him...

I miss the look in your eyes. The adoration and love. The interest. The forgiveness. The answers to everything. I used to see those in your eyes. Now it's all questions and lies. Excuses and alibies...

I know I've changed. And for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done wrong in your eyes. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you. I'm sorry for being an idiot sometimes. I'm sorry for being a clutz, a blonde, a ditz, a loser, a liar, a bitch. I'm sorry for not realizing things were really, truly wrong. I wanted to believe everything would mend itself. But it can't. It takes teamwork to mend what teamwork breaks. And sometimes it takes teamwork to mend what one person breaks.

What I'm trying to say is... I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And here's an honest truth: With any other guy, girl, whatever in my life, I could always Imagine spending the rest of my life with them. But I could have, and do, live without them. With you, I can't imagine my life without you. Ever. You are my sun and my rain. My moon and stars. My wind and my breath. My very being is evolved because of you. You are the breath I need to live. The rain that keeps my world from drying out, and the heat that keeps it from flooding. You are my life. Without you, I have no muse. Without you, I have no reason to exist. I firmly believe my existance here is in order to love you. To treat you as you deserve.

And I'm going to stop being a selfish bitch, except in one regard.

I will never, ever, EVER let you out of my life. I will fight, even with my last breath, to keep you. And to keep you happy.

Wolves mate for life. So do tigers. You are my love, my mate... My Alpha.

I respect you, I cherish you, I love you, I adore you, I worship you, I live for you.

All of this, I just needed you to know.

Love Always and Forever,

(Fow evew an' evew.)

Eternally,

Your Kitten

Currently listening : No Air By Jordin Sparks Release date: 2008-05-27

1:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Bad Week

Tell me I was dreaming...

Tell me it was nightmared.

Tell me it wasn’t real...

Please? I’m just so scared...

Tell me this isn’t happening...

Tell me it isn’t true.

Yesterday was bad enough,

Especially almost losing you.

But now this scare on top of that...

I don’t know what to do...

I’m scared out of my mind,

Shaking in my boots...

These bad thing must be happening

Because the gods are in cahoots.

(This was really lame. But I’m just having a bad week...)

10:15 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Silver Arrows
Current mood: bummed
Category: Writing and Poetry

You must have been the arrow

Aimed to strike my heart.

Once upon a time,

None could make me come apart.

But now it's sad to say,

As I look into my dreams,

You're my silver-tipped arrow,

And I'm tearing at the seams.

An arrow to the flank,

An arrow to the head,

An arrow to the heart,

And finally I'm dead.

A dream come true for some,

A nightmare cursing others...

And now who will you turn to?

Your sisters and your brothers.

Your family and friends

Will help to pull you through.

You'll find another girl to take

My place. Yes, someone new.

You'll find her there and smile.

For who am I to you at all?

I was never the one for whom

You were supposed to fall.

So be my silver arrow,

Aim straight for my heart.

Take me from this world...

I was never meant to play this part.

11:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Game stolen from Kelley.

Type your name in my blog comments.
Once you do that, this is what I'll do for you...


1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. If you play, you MUST post this on yours. You MUST

8:00 PM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Sailing
Current mood: relaxed

SAILING

11:41 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s been a while.
Current mood: loved

So, it's been a while since I wrote a blog.

A real blog.

So here's an update...

Wow, it's been a while.

So, Richie and I broke up. No more engagement. We actually broke up in... September? End of September/beginning of October. And now, he and I are semi-talking again. When he's not being a douche, and refusing to be friendly.

In October/November, I met this guy Steve-o. We dated for a week. He turned out to not be so great. But I've only recently realized this. He and I are in the process of either being friends or not talking.

Then there's Jesse. I guess I've known him for a while. He was just kind of an acquaintance, before now. I started hanging out with him, and we just... hit it off. I've fallen head-over-heels for him. Absolutely.

Those of you who know me well, take these factors into account;

1) I HATE when people open doors for me, pull out chairs for me, help me out of cars, etc. I can do these things for myself. Typically, I slam people who try to help me... ... Jesse... I let him help me... It's even kinda cute when he does it. >>

2) I LOVE my chocolate. I don't let people touch it, let alone steal it. As a matter of fact, Marissa tried to take a sip of my chocolate shake, and I flipped. Jesse leaned over and stole a sip, and I went, "Ay... eh. Whetever." And then later OFFERED him my mint chocolate candy cane. O_o

3) I've only ever had one person I culd just curl up with and fall asleep. Today, on marissa's couch, I was curled up next to him and I found myself drifting off... It startled me. But I'm looking forward to sleeping next to Jesse.

There are other things, too. But... I just... I absolutely love him.

There's not much other news, so...

Feel free to ask me questions, and I'll answer.

I love you all!

Love Always,

The Lycan Angel

Currently listening : Tear You Apart By She Wants Revenge Release date: 25 July, 2006

9:16 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Tear You Apart
Current mood: horny

"Tear You Apart"

Got a big plan, his mind's set, maybe it's right
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight
In a whisper or handshake sending a sign
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait never mind

Late night, in passing, mention it flip to her
Best friend, it's no thing, maybe it slipped
but the slip turns to terror and a crush to like
when she walked in he froze up, leave it to fright

It's cute in a way, till you cannot speak
And you leave to have a cigarette, knees get weak
escape was just a nod and a casual wave
Obsess about it, heavy for the next two days

It's only just a crush, it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know
You pray it all away but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart

Then he walked up and told her, thinking maybe it'd pass

And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance
Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there
Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare

They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do
Cause theres always repercussions when you're dating in school
But their lips met, and reservations started to pass
Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

Either way he wanted her and this was bad
Wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy
Now a little crush turned into a like
And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I wanna fucking tear you apart
[3x]

11:50 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Twelve Days of XXX-Mas
Current mood: creative

On the first day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
A really good blowjob.

On the second day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
2 penises in my ass
And a really good blowjob

On the third day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really good blowjob

On the fourth day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

On the fifth day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
5 vibrating (cock) rings
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

On the sixth day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
6 sexy hookers
5 vibrating (cock) rings
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

On the seventh day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
7 foot long dildo
6 sexy hookers
5 vibrating (cock) rings
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

On the eighth day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
8 Horny sheep
7 foot long dildo
6 sexy hookers
5 vibrating (cock) rings
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

On the ninth day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
9 Inch black man's cock
8 Horny sheep
7 foot long dildo
6 sexy hookers
5 vibrating (cock) rings
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

On the tenth day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
10 Dicks in my ear
9 Inch black man's cock
8 Horny sheep
7 foot long dildo
6 sexy hookers
5 vibrating (cock) rings
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

On the eleventh day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
11 Abortions
10 Dicks in my ear
9 Inch black man's cock
8 Horny sheep
7 foot long dildo
6 sexy hookers
5 vibrating (cock) rings
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

On the twelfth day of XXX-Mas, my true love gave to me...
12 STDs
11 Abortions
10 Dicks in my ear
9 Inch black man's cock
8 Horny sheep
7 foot long dildo
6 sexy hookers
5 vibrating (cock) rings
4 pairs of handcuffs
3 vibrators
2 penises in my ass
And a really, really great blowjob

7:06 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Truth
Current mood: content

I see a lot of bulletins that say things like, "A kiss on the hand means...."

Well, here's my truth. The following are what my kisses and touches mean.

Here goes.

__________________________________________________________

A kiss on the hand: "Pleased to see you."

A kiss on the cheek: "You are my friend, and I love you."

A kiss on the forehead: "I'm here for you."

A kiss on the lips: "I love you."

A kiss on the eyelid: "You are adorable, and I never want this moment to end."

A kiss on the shoulder: "I love being with you, in every way."

A kiss on the chest: "I want you."

A kiss on the belly: "I'm comfortable with you."

Holding hands: "You make me feel cofmortable."

Curling up against someone: "You make me feel safe."

Head on someone's shoulder: "I'm loving this exact moment."

Looking into someone's eyes: "I trust you, and you mean the world to me."

Laughing when kissing: "I'm happy with you."

___________________________________________________________

When I think of more, I'll add them.

As always,

The Enslaved Lycanthropic Angel

Currently listening : The Cheetah Girls 2 By The Cheetah Girls Release date: 07 November, 2006

1:23 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment