Thirty sleeps part II

    Once again i find myself a prisoner to my own device. 

    11 29 08  Day 1

   There is something about somewhat chaotic environments that i lust (or just like too much), such as a bar with a band and a bunch of drunk people meandering about or a sleep deprived boat in high seas. >i suppose a bar does not look like a boat, though both can be intoxicating and imprisoning<  Why do i drink?  Not so much why, but when i do, why so deep?  I've proven to myself i can go a week, a month, a year without a sip of alcohol and then when i open the door again, it is abusive.  I have to find something that fills this space.  Often it has been observed in addictive personalities a transference.  That could be to another poor behaviour or a healthy one.  So with my knowledge, can i guide this trait into something positive?  What will fill the gap? 
 
     Last night i must have drank ten beers.  Started at some buddies that i play guitar with and then walked through the cold night to the old wooden stairs that lead to a tunnel that goes under the interstate.  Just on the other side is a bar.   I love trying to find the stairs at night and then banging against the walls of that pitch black tunnel.  It is kind of an adventure and i'm pretty sure that is what is needed to fill the void.  Something wild and crazy, just healthier. 


12 01 08    Day Three

   Back to the business world.  Have been thinking about something to fill the space and taste.  No ideas yet.


12 02 08   Day Four

   All is well.  Had an idea for a bumper sticker while driving to work yesterday.  'Please stop honking at me.  I'm on the phone.'

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The math of Daniel
Category: Life

  11 28 08

   As far as i know, math does not lie.  Two + two is always four.  Perhaps that is why i love numbers.  We have figured out many amazing wonders via the use of math,  have figured out more and more how our universe and time work.  

   Daniel was a math man and he has an interesting set of numbers that any of us can add up. 

   will write it up a little later

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twist your head

11 23 08

If i was to ask who this was talking about, who would you say? 

But it was for our sins he was wounded, and for our evil doings he was crushed: he took the punishment by which we have peace, and by his wounds we are made well. We all went wandering like sheep; going every one of us after his desire; and the Lord put on him the punishment of us all.  Men were cruel to him, but he was gentle and quiet; as a lamb taken to its death, and as a sheep before those who take her wool makes no sound, so he said not a word.


Twist your head revelation:    i'll post it in a few days


A few days later:

         11 27 08 aD

    Most people respond this is describing Jesus,  regardless of belief or non belief in Him.  The mind bender of that passage is that it was written some 700 years before Jesus was born; penned either by Isaiah himself or someone close to him.

    Isaiah is an interesting historical figure.  He lived in the late eighth century BC. He was part of the upper class but urged care of the downtrodden.  And Isaiah was concerned with the connection between worship and ethical behavior. One of his major themes is God's refusal to accept the ritual worship of those who are treating others with injustice.

    Throughout the new and old testament (the book of Isaiah is part of the 'Old Testament'.) are prophecies.  A describing of future events.  Some vague, though hundreds that are quite detailed.  If you answered Jesus to the above question then you have discerned a prophecy.  As it was written not during or after the 33 years of Jesus time on earth, but in the 8th century B.C.  (before Christ)

   Happy Thanks Giving!

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prayer for Dale Boe, he is in critical condition

  If you are a praying person, please pray for Dale Boe and his family.  Dale is a definite reflection of Jesus in his actions and life.  He lost feeling and use of his limbs while building an orphanage in Chile.  Medically he has been diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome.

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hold me close to where you are - how she died
Category: Life

  In the past couple years the most loving person i've met is my voice teacher Miss Debra.  The meeting to becoming one of her students was nothing less than perfect timing. 

  She and her husband Jeffery moved here from California and opened Rejoice Music Studios in May of '07.  Getting to know about Debra, Jefferey and some of their family has filled a nice space in my heart.  As well as getting to pretend to sing :> 

  You know how news hits when it is a tragedy?  Sudden and with reverberation.  Just over a month ago a friend of Debra's called to say she would be in California for the next two weeks.  Her daughter had died after complications of a standard surgical procedure.

  When they came back we spent our first lesson just talking, praying, and crying.  If not for her faith, i could not see how she could have been holding up even as well as she was.

  Debra shared a story of a heartrending death.  A mistake made at the hospital.  Followed by the botched cover up.  At this point i'll call it medical malpractice.  It could have just been one of those horrible, terrible mistakes that can be made.  Confessed to, and though that does not bring someone back, at least there is a healthy valve for release. 

   Instead as with so many 'errors' in this ever darkening world, there had to be a cover up attempt.  Cremation of the body.  So the medical field used to be able to bury their mistakes, now though with so many questions and most likely independent autopsies I suppose burning them is a better way to cover. 

   The attempt was fortunately found out and thwarted by the family. 

   It breaks my heart that such a sweet family had to lose their daughter.  A husband, his wife. A daughter, her mom.

   It twists my mind the corruption involved.  I obviously can't write very in depth about it due to the legal recourse the hospital is facing.  But it just leaves a person shaking their head and asking why?

   Their entire family holds a beautiful faith in Jesus.  Their daughter knew she was a sinner in need of a Saviour.  A confessed believer which would mean now she is present with her Lord.  Far from this world and its weights.  If it was not for this faith, how would a person carry on in the face of such adversity? 

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beautiful blizzard

  The weather around the Black Hills has been unseasonably warm for some time which was nice.  Now today a blizzard struck.  It is awesome.  Had to run out to the truck to grab a file and snow was swirling everywhere.  Pushing down and then getting sucked back up to only disappear into the night and come shooting back down.  Looked like snow tornadoes.  Makes a person come alive even with a terrible head cold. 

   Can't hardly wait until snowboard season.  Perhaps this is the year for a heli boarding trip.  Have any of you ever went heli boarding anywhere?  Looks like there are a number of cool operations around the world.

11 06 08   11:46 am

    Looks like this blizzard has shut down most roads around the area and a bunch of businesses in Rapid City.  Now this is a way to start winter!

11 07 08   8:19 pm

    Can't get out of my place since the blizzard.  Might have to hunt wild game.  Just kidding...  about the wild game.  My neighbors have dogs.

   It's been pretty cool to hang out snowed in.  Seems like the last time a blizzard like this hit was when i was a little kid.  We would dig tunnels through the drifts.  A blue light would flicker from the passages.  This was that kind of blizzard, though digging tunnels through the snow doesn't seem quite as fun as it used to.  That's too bad, i know it was a lot of fun.

11 09 08

    The plow broke the road open about mid day yesterday.   Civilization is at hand.

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votes
Category: Life

      Hope everyone was able to get out and vote.  We live in an interesting day and age when our questions as a society are should homosexual marriage be legal and should a baby pulled half way out of the womb then murdered (partial birth abortion) be considered okay by law. Wonder if in another decade or two if full birth abortion up to a year and bestiality type marriage institutions will be the questions.  Now of course they are not, but then again a few decades ago i'm not sure today's topics were really even considered.

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prayer for Miss Debra

 My voice teacher Miss Debra just lost a daughter.  She was 37 and lived in California.  If you are a praying person, would you please pray for her, her husband Jeffery and their large family.

   Father,

        You are the Creator and we the creature.  It is so hard to understand why, but still we come to You for peace and direction.  Please comfort Debra and her family during this tragedy.  Please give them strength and peace.  And though surely this death hurts so many, thank You their daughter is now in Your presence forever and without the stress and weights of the world we still abide in. 

   In Jesus name,

           Amen

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thirty days and thirty sleeps
Current mood: sober
Category: sober Life

'There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.'

– Terry Pratchett

  (my experience tells me this is true at first, but not in the end) rs

   Well I took a dive again into drinking for the past few months.  Not terrible amounts at first, but these past couple weeks I found myself drinking on four occassions with people from work, which is way to much.  I ended up sleeping in my truck one night.  Had friends near and could have left with or walked to one of their places, but i slept in the truck.  That was a realization moment.  That kind of behaviour is not very befitting someone my age and it certainly takes away from a much more peaceful Way.

   So figured i'd try try my own self rehab by not drinking for thirty days and posting progress reports in cyberspace as an act of accountability.  It is strange, generally i am not very happy when drinking, like that is a cause to drink.  Generally there is a trigger event, but i can't put my finger on this one.  Maybe i just forgot how cool it is to sleep uncomfortably numb in a vehicle or how bright i get when toasted.

    Here is day two, clean and sober.  If you are a praying person and read this, please feel free to offer one up for me.

10+04+08 Day Three

     No struggle at all today, though i did realize something i have many times before.  A person can either run a business or drink, but not both.  I've met some exceptions, but i'm not one.

     Today we celebrated Dad's b-day.  He is 62.  He beat drinking when i was a little kid.

 10+05+08  Day Four

       Lazy day, cept for book work, no beer.

  10+06+08  Day Five

       Busy day, no beer.  Had to string up a rock climbing rope on a job so got a little adrenalin.  Waking up without a headache and feeling healthy should be enough of a benefit to not drink at all, though in my life it seems like a lesson i've had to take a bunch of times.  It is a wonder i didn't burn myself with fire more often as a kid.  'Hey look, fire.  Ouch, that was hot.'    'Hey look, fire.... Youch, that was hot!'    'I wonder how close i can get to the fire without getting burnt?'

   10+10+08  Day 9

  Still good to go.  Had a little twinge on Wednesday of 'mmm, a cold beer after work sure would taste good' but it passed as quick as it came.

  This was an interesting week.  Our company was working on a house for a retired physicist.  He has an antenna out in his yard that took him about two years to build.  With it he can send a radio signal to the moon, and bounce it back.  The round trip takes just over two seconds.  He said there are about 200 others around the world with such antennas.  Quite a hobby. 
   As one might imagine, he had many interesting stories to tell.

   Also met an old boy on another job site that was over 80 years old.  He had built a beautiful house with his own hands for the past few years and was hard at work every time I dropped by.  He was sharp as a tack and a great conversationalist.  He had traveled far and wide.  When the job was done he said not to be a stranger.  Hope to run into him again.

   10+15+08  Day 14

    Two weeks without a beer.  It's funny, but it takes time to drink so i have a few hours here and there that is freed up.  Picked up my guitar again.  Had laid it down while learning Clapton's 'Tears in Heaven'  so just picked it back up from there.

    Tried to figure out why i picked up a beer again.  I think it was probably just social, as it was a social occasion.  But once i get going then it is game on.  When i fell after getting out of an alcohol rehab a few years back, it was easy to pin point the brutal stresses that i let get to me.  Think it is still recorded on my home page.  A dear friend lost and a corrupt lawyer.   I still miss Edy often and hurt for her family.  She was such a cornerstone.

    Recouped from the bad business deal that went worse. The matter is still litigation, which though it was tough pulling out of the trough, i am happy a jury will eventually get to hear it.  And everything else has been well.  Family all healthy, business prospering.  So i can only come to the conclusion that my fall was not due to swallowed anguish.  As far as struggles are concerned, it has not been difficult to stop this time.  Perhaps prayer, support, and even writing about it are key ingredients.

    At any rate my finger tips are raw from hitting the strings.  Guess my callouses had turned soft.  That happens.

    10+26+08  Day 25

 Twenty five days with not a taste of alcohol.  Five more and that makes thirty.  Since this worked so well, thought i would try to institute some good habits with the 30 day method.  Was thinking about 30 minutes a day with guitar practice.  That is a reasonable time to play and attainable. 

   My voice teacher returned from California where her daughter passed away.  She is doing amazingly well, though it is easy to see how heart broken she is.  If you are a prayer, please keep her in yours if she ever comes to your mind.  It was a very sad and contemptuous story surrounding her death.  i'll write about it sometime.  One day there will no longer be corruption, lies, or death.  Till then...

    10+29+08

  Day twenty nine.  Just one more to go.   A buddy is already trying to get me to go out on Halloween, but that probably isn't going to happen.  He said I could just drink coke.  Man with friends like that who needs the devil ;>  

   Glad this has been going successfully and thank you each of you for your support and prayers.

  10+31+08 

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CERN Hadron Collider

  Is anyone else excited to find out what this thing might give us in the way of data?  I only have an elementary knowledge of it, but it looks like this could give us some revelations into the workings of the universe.

    Kelley

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