Time is something we can never understand

We grow

We laugh

We cry

We live

And in the midst of all our madness

One day you wake up and time is running out

And you don't know what to do

You see the times you should have said i love you

Interrupted by material thoughts

Battles you could have fought

To make a difference in the life

Of someone you loved

Forfeited because you had no desire to fight

But do not be melancholy

Do not hold this pain within your spiritual doors

For the fight against time is not yours to conquer

We are given time to do with as we please

And when someone uses it the way they yearned too

A time to grieve should never be in your mind

Because if you can find a memory where time stood still

Where you were locked into a smile

Sleeping on a pile of happiness

The stress of your plight will soften

And eventually you will give life another try

Just know amidst the pain in your eyes

Somewhere lost within the cries of sorrow

There is a rising sun that will still come tomorrow

That will be searching for your face

And if the one you yearn to see

Is in this place we call heaven above

The clouds will disperse like doves of mercy

Clear the haze from your mind

And somewhere you'll find the strength to try

The courage to look up

Stand tall on your virtues

Embrace the moment

And say...goodbye.

You just have to believe.

2007©The EuRiPedes Black Experience, all rights reserved.

The situation never changes

Here I am

There she is

Obstacles in between

Mountainous things we've seen since we laid eyes on each other

And took a step forward

Only to be greeted by melancholic thunder and angst

I used to give thanks just to have her here

But time and circumstances change us all

Now I just play Carl Thomas and wonder where I might've been

If it would have never happened

I'm almost ashamed of the reaction

See back in the beginning

I never would've imagined that to be a thought I was capable of pondering

But then I wasn't wandering aimlessly in self doubt

Self pity without the breaks of the monotony that good friends and family

Would be almost certain to bring around

I still remember the sound that night

That shooting star falling out of the sky right in front of me

And my eyes seeing a wondrous beauty of nature

Transform into the elegance of her

It still brings a stir to my heart

How the night air had me withering at the start

Of her holding a presence in my life

A warmness that was only cooled

By the melody stricken tone of phone lines

Intertwining text messages and online communication

I remember looking into the sky that night

And telling myself to be patient

Hold onto the hope that was wavering inside of me

That there was someone out there to free me from that abyss

A previous love sealed with a kiss to lock me away forever

And just like that star

With the sharp edges of her spirit

She severed the prison I was in

Brought the sound back to my heart

And pressed my ear to my soul so I could hear it

So I could know it still beat for someone out there in the distance

Maybe that was her only reason for falling to me

To show me that the one I thought was the only one meant for me

Just wasn't true

That new love was achievable to every man, woman and child

If they found someone worthwhile to give it too

I guess if its true

Both of us got a little too close

Took in a little to much of the dose

The potency of love concentrated and lost our way

Lost the path of the reason we met that day

But the truth is

Both of us wanted to stay

We both wanted to play in this oasis of special bonds

Existing in a realm where love in our society

Only exists in fictional stories with magic wands and unicorns

As the scorn of broken hearts has made that dream

And unconceivable event

Yet in still…

No matter how many ways I look at it

No matter the reason she was sent to my life

It seems time has grown tired of waiting and asking why

For despite all the time I've been in love and looking a star in the face

For the first time I see the sun rising into the sky

Whether a new beginning or a painful end

From a lover to a friend to a memory to a sin

I don't have to answer to how it all plays out

I know I'm a better man either way

I know I have no doubt my hope in happiness won't stray from me again

And without this time in my life

Without that star that shined so bright

Without that gift from mother nature that made me want to fight

I wouldn't even have that

So I'm hurt and grateful at the same time

Because even if my star is gone forever…

I know I'll still shine…

For someone.

2007©The EuRiPedes Black experience, all rights reserved.

It's crazy how you can fight doing something for so long that you can run out of reasons and situations to keep it from happening. I always said I'd never be that woman faking headaches and hanging with aunt flow just to get out of making love to my man. I mean why even front when I want it just as much as he does and then some. But here I was doing something that wasn't in the plans.

The plan was to just stay with him and allow him to keep me afloat while I chased my dream. I mean lets be honest here, Rip isn't paying me a mint to sing here. I only get just a smidgeon more than the band does so it wasn't enough to keep up the lifestyle I deserve. And Skye will never be working a 9 to 5 so this is where I stood. Taking advantage of what I have to get what I want. I don't apologize for the way I look at him. I haven't slept with him, kissed him only to keep him in the fantasy that some ass was coming eventually and played the role of his woman to a t without even making the brother a sandwich. Shit I'd tell my girls that I need to quit singing and write a book or something. But despite all of my arrogance and intentions…here I was.

Here I was standing half naked, with my arms wrapped around this man, who I knew in my heart meant nothing, acting like everything had changed. And to be honest, it has.

I never expected him to do something spontaneous like offer to pay for my demo session. Carl was so tight with money that when he took dollars out of his wallet, the money was white instead of green. I basically had to threaten to leave when I wanted something to get him to go and do it. Maybe it was the roller coaster of emotion I've been riding the past few days. From seeing Dante with another woman, to finding something nice like Xavier fall right into my lap just to realize he's married, to hearing Carl tell me that he kicked the A&R guy out of the club. So much disappointment can just bring down a person's soul so when I heard something positive for once, I couldn't do anything but exhale. I'm as strong a woman as anyone but you can only put up a front for so long before you just want to relax. Maybe this is what this feeling is for me.

"Are you frogging up on me?" Carl asked as he pulled me closer to him. I never even looked at him sexually so the surprise I found in his pants tonight made me smile so hard that I think I got lip gloss on both of my ears. Who knew big things could come in such small packages.

"No, you're not getting off that easy."

I turned around, backed into him and grinded up on him slowly. I could feel his nature starting to rise against my ass. He wanted it so bad that his underwear were stretching into me. All women should know what it feels for a man to want you this way. It was invigorating.

"You better quit teasing me." He took one hand, placed it inside the top of my g-string and pulled me back toward him again. I saw his other hand rising up out of the corner of my eyes like he was about to smack something. I pulled up slightly before he had the chance. Carl sighed and his eyes dropped to the floor along with his hand. I grabbed his other hand before he could let me go.

"Hold on. Let me bend over a little more so I can feel it baby." I lifted my right leg up and placed it up on my ottoman. I braced myself and looked back at him. He was just standing there looking dumbfounded.

"You better get over and finish what you started!"

Carl smiled, slipped his boxers off and walked over to me slowly. I turned back around and braced myself for some ghetto foreplay. He slipped my g-string to the side and took a long look and my treasure. The smile on his face told me that it looked as good as ever. Wait until he felt it.

My heart starting beating a little faster and I was becoming anxious.

"Baby don't hit me too hard because you know I'm light skindeeeee….."

Shit. I couldn't even finish my sentence. That little bastard trick meeeeeeee…..Oh my…Jesus.

I made the mistake of not looking back again to see what he was doing and I never saw his hand come up like before. He dropped to his knees, spread my lips with his tongue and licked my outer walls over and over. I couldn't breathe correctly. Carl grabbed my hips and pulled my ass back into his face. I dropped down on the ottoman to my knees until my face was deep inside the leather and my ass was front and center in his atmosphere. Where did this man come from?

He stopped for a second to catch his breathe but began again before I could catch mine. That's the way a man is supposed to be. I can rest when I'm dead.

He started to nibble and suck me slowly from the left to the right. His lips were so soft. It felt like someone was massaging me with silk from the inside out. He turned his head from side to side and let everything else do the job.

"Baby, just like that…just like that."

"I got you baby. Don't even worry about this."

He kept one hand on my waist and the other separated my lips slightly. His lips kept going from left to right and then he stopped in the middle. His tongue slipped into my center and caught my clit in full bloom.

For the next 15 minutes, I tried to scream but the words just couldn't come forth in my mouth. My lips were quivering so hard that I could barely speak. I could feel the ocean filling up inside of me and I didn't know if I could hold it any longer.

He slipped his tongue on my clit again.

The damn cracked.

His slipped his tongue on my clit again

The damn cracked even more.

He sucked my clit with both lips.

Oh my god, please help me.

He slipped two fingers in to me and his tongue slipped inside of me, sucked my clit hard and licked it slowly before he pulled out.

Explosion.

I couldn't see anything but stars for the next few moments. I thought I was outside in some sense of euphoria but my eyes were closed so tight that I couldn't make a sound for the shaking. My legs were soaked. I could feel my nature oozing all over my ottoman and thumping hard like it was ready for the main course. I finally opened my eyes and managed to crack a smile. Carl was sitting there wiping the remnants of me off of his face. He was holding his nature in his hand and stroking it slowly. My sly smile grew into a bigger one when I saw that. I spread my legs and stuck both of my hands inside of me. I was so wet that every one of my fingers was covered. I looked at Carl, brought my fingers up to my mouth and sucked them all dry, one by one. Then I took the last finger, pointed at him and motioned for him to come over to me.

I know that in the rules of eroticism, "Do me and I'll do you back", is a cardinal rule but he didn't need any help from me in that area. He came over to me and he was hard. He was so hard that I smiled even harder than I did before. I grabbed it with both hands, held it tight and stroked it up and down in a grinding motion. Carl's eyes closed and he finally was getting some pleasure out of the situation. I started to go just a little faster and I could hear him panting slightly over and over. I touched myself again and my nature was throbbing just as hard as before. It was time to move forward.

I scooted my hips forward, put my legs close together and brought my knees up to my chest. I pulled him closer to me and grabbed his head with my fingers.

"Baby you sure this is what you want?" he asked.

"Carl."

"Yes."

"Shut up and push."

I pulled his head near my lips and played with myself for a little while. The anticipation was such a wonderful feeling. Making me wait, teasing me slowly. I bit my lips softly and began to shake my hips. It just felt so good.

He grabbed my hand and pushed it away. His hands held my knees down slightly and he leaned down over me slightly. He winked at me and I tried to wink back but…I…just…couldn't.

Carl slid into me slowly and I regained my ability to speak at just the right time. I screamed and I don't mean a slight scream, I mean I'm in a forest and a white man wearing a hockey mask is chasing me with a meat cleaver scream.

"Baby are you okay?"

"Motherfucker shut up and PUSH!"

He started grinding me slowly and it was just the way that I wanted it. My kitty was purring and he was keeping it occupied like no toy in the world could ever imagine happening. He started stroking me from the left and then to the right. In and out…back and forth…left to right….in and right…out and left…right to in…damn this man his got my thinking tongue tied.

</P>

He spread my legs and motioned for me to grab him around his neck like before. I would do whatever he wanted as long as he kept hitting my spot. He picked me up while he was still inside me and carried me over to the sofa. He tried to put me down but it felt too good to leave. I wrapped my legs around his waist and kept my hand right where they were.

"You better not even think of putting me down." I said.

"I can't think of anything right now so let's go with it."

I rocked my body back, just as he did the same and we met in the middle of another explosion. I couldn't do anything but feel the sweat from our bodies and the popping from the meat of our bodies smacking together violently over and over again.

"Fuck…I never knew it…baby…I never knew…it was…this…goooaaaawwdd damn!"

"This is mine…mine…you hear me woman."

"Whatever…you say…oh shit… …just don't…stop…don't even…slow…down…oh…my fucking god…"

I couldn't open my eyes. My body had taken on a mind of its own. Anything I wanted to try that would make me stop throwing myself into this wonder of the world, would make me a paraplegic in a matter of minutes.

"Hold on." He said.

"No….Nooo…don't….don't stop."

"I'm about to…I'm about to…"

I let go of his head and fell down softly onto the heart of the sofa. You would think I was half cat with the way I bounced up and took on the proper technique of someone about to take it from the back. I could teach a fucking class if I wanted too. No pun intended.

"Come on baby. If you're about to let me see all of you, this is how I want to see it."

"Skye are you on the…"

"I'm fine…stop worrying and come on."

"Okay."

He pulled up behind me and for a second, it felt like our bodies connected and became one. We were both right at the brink of exploding so he slipped inside of me as smooth as before. I figured he would want to savor it and take his time but that's not what he had in mind. He started grinding on me fast and I couldn't catch my breath.

"Oh shit…oh shit…I think…I think I'm going to cuuuuuuummmmmmmm…"

"Not yet baby, wait for me." he said as he bent over and whispered in my ear. Carl rose back up and picked up the pace even more. In and out…In and out…In and out. He smacked my ass and spread my cheeks. Then he started pumping harder and harder. I could feel him in my stomach.

"eeeeeeerrrrrrggggggghhaaaaaaawwwwwifewrewermotherfucker…ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".

All I could do was put my face in the pillow and throw it back as hard as I could. I was creaming all over the place. I looked back through my legs and my essence was dripping all over his chocolate skin. There was nothing I could do to stop it. The dam was broken and the water was going to run until the well ran dry.

"Baby I…I'm about too….ccc..cccc…"

Carl began to pump faster and faster. I was so caught up in my euphoria, I was melding in with the couch and I didn't even feel it. My entire body was tingling and I was lost in my own world. I wanted to turn around and see the look on his face before he got to this place where I was already waiting of for him but it never happened. He was working quickly and I just turned around much too slow.

Carl let out a moan that I wasn't aware a grown man could make. Didn't think they had that octave in their repertoire. He honestly sounded like he was having a seizure for a few minutes. I lay out on the couch and gravity takes care of everything else. He flowed along with me and lay on top of me, with all of him still pushing and flowing inside of me. I squinted and enchanted at the colors of the darkness hiding in my eyelids. His constant warm breathe on the back of my neck was rhythmic. It felt beautiful. It was beautiful.

I laughed softly to myself. God we were so loud, I know I'd hear about this from Rip in the morning. No one else ever came back this way on Thursdays. All the talent show people wouldn't waste a chance to get seen by someone by going to the bathroom or being nosy. But Rip could hear a mouse humping a cotton ball in this place. I'm sure he heard every last stroke and can quote them verbatim.

Carl put his hand underneath me and cupped my breasts softly. He was sleeping but he must've been dreaming about what happened. It tickled me that after filling me up the way he just had, that he'd somehow think it never happened and none of it was real. I laughed softly again, opening my eyes slightly to adjust my contacts.

Everything was blurry for a second until I got them adjusted correctly. When I pushed them back in place and everything cleared up, I stared out into the darkness and froze for a minute. Everything in the room was dark except for a light on my dresser. There was a poster of the big night I'd had a few days ago when I had that enjoyable night with the Fishers. It was a flimsy poster but it was one of my most cherished things in the world. It was the first time that it felt like I was walking on the right path to achieve my dream of making it. Being that diva in music that leaves a legacy that will last for years. And that changed the mood in my mind completely.

Because it dawned on me exactly why I was here doing what I'm doing right now. This enchanting moment of passion we just experienced was only a result of something he promised me that I wanted him to fulfill. I didn't do this because I cared about him or I just wanted to make love to him in the worst way. 40 minutes ago is just like right now in my mind. This was just a means to getting that poster on a wall somewhere in Phillips Arena or Madison Square Garden. Lord knows I'd tried everything own my own and nothing ever worked. I'd kiss him in public, cook for him, fuck him until he's in a coma every night and when I got the demo tape in my hand, I would be ghost.

Breathe on my back

I'm doing the right thing.

Breathe on my back

I'm just taking advantage of the paths but before me.

Breathe on my back

He'll get over all of this and find someone else.

Large sigh out of my mouth.

So why do I have this knot in my stomach that's making me terrible about this.

Why do I even care?

I don't love him. I've only loved one man in that way for real and now I pay for it every night he walks into the bar and I have I see him moving on when I'm still stuck in the exact same place. But it was love. I loved him.

Then there's Carl. I don't even like him.

I wiped my eyes so I could focus more on the task at hand. There was a prize in front of me and I need to understand how far I want to go to get it.

I mean could I really stand tall in the business by crushing Carl down to almost nothing.

I sighed to myself and sat there in the silence for a while. Not a long while but something short enough to get your wits about you. This is what made me the mentally fucked up individual she was. I had ADD times 25. Here I was in the aftermath, with this man lying on top of me and I was still stuck in the past thinking of another. It was crazy but those memories would catch my daydream most of the time I was with Carl. But he was the only man I've ever wanted and Carl was…well…Carl.

"Are you okay Skye?"

"Yes Dante."

Silence.

Shit. I thought I was still daydreaming but Carl's body clenched up and rose up off of me slowly. The mood changed in the blink of an eye. I kept my eyes closed because I didn't want to look at the vision waiting for me. I wanted to stay in the moment I had locked in my mind. Feeling this way with someone I truly cared about. I thought about Carl.

Then I smiled and put my face back down in the pillow again. My heart may not be happy right now but my mind was on its game. I'd try to convince myself that I let that name slip but in reality, it never did. Nothing ever changed in my psyche at all. The answer to the question was always very clear.

Could I crush him to save me?

Hell yes.

And there was no doubt about it.

2007©The EuRiPedes Black experience, all rights reserved.