The Greenhouse
Current mood: pensive
Category: Writing and Poetry

She slipped in through broken shards of glass,
sowing thistles and briers among our seeds yet sprung.

I, a novice gardener, did not know her spirit lingered
as I nurtured our plots with droplets of hope for harvest.

Our seeds soon sprouted, as did her tares.
Together they grew toward the sun, roots intermingled.

To uproot her seed is to uproot our harvest.
But left to thrive, her tares will choke our garden.

I ask you how to banish her spirit from our garden,
but she whispers to you in your own voice.

You believe that she and I are one.
You believe the fruit to be tares, the tares to be fruit.

I know not of the rituals to release her from this space,
but my spirit will not succumb to her power.

I trim the tares into stumps and swab each with vinegar,
with bloody fingers I replace the glass from whence she came.

On bended knee, I plead as I did in childhood until she is gone.
But how will you see it is she who whispered all along?

8:52 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Sun signs
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

As my typical boring Friday at work is well under way, I decided to see what the stars had in store for the day. So I typed "horoscope" into Google and read each Aquarius forecast for the day. The results, which are highly inconclusive, follow:
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You've got enough energy to tackle a week's worth of problems in one day - so get to it! If life isn't throwing obstacles in your path, then you can make amazing progress without breaking a sweat.
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Romance is likely to be affected by today's planets; maybe a new relationship seems to lose some of its shine; perhaps there's a pervading sense of dullness instead of sparkle; it could even be that you need a little breathing space. Whichever your particular bugbear, just remember that it's a temporary dissatisfaction!
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Though you have dreams of winning the lottery, it's easy to recognize today that in many ways you already have. Your relationships are strong and getting stronger -- what more is there?
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This is a good work day and may prove to be rather profitable. Working with others is successful and you may be sought after as just the person for a particular job. Your inner resources and emotions are accented. Expect a sense of support and good will from those around you. Perhaps you feel this is really you--how you feel and are. It is natural for you to put your practical and managerial abilities to work. You can make a career out of your keen organizational skills and clear insight into how things work. Supervision and taking charge are your trademarks. You most certainly do things that create a smooth and loving atmosphere. Tonight you may find a group of friends will gather for a bit of musical fun--perhaps a band or quartet sing-a-long.
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-171 Opposition Saturn - Mars

Negative aspect: You will be very tired and any effort will be painful. This transit is not good for the health and, as you will not be on form, your spirits won't be high either. You might lose heart, and be in an even worse humor. During this period, you must restrict yourself to the work in hand, refrain from any action, undertake nothing new and change nothing. Only strictly necessary routine, or paid holidays. Take a good look at the birth chart and the relevant Houses and Signs. Possibly get an X-ray of your blood circulation to check that there is no aneurysm or hardening of the blood vessels. A simple precaution.

152 Sextile Pluto - Mercury

Positive aspect: You will live through a very good period, especially on the intellectual front. This is the moment to take stock, to think over everything you have seen and learnt. A period when you will be full of wisdom. You will see things more deeply, and go to the bottom of your thoughts.

63 Sextile Neptune - Neptune

Positive aspect: No effect on the material level. You will feel good, live in a beautiful dream with no relation to reality.

28 Trine Neptune - Pluto

Positive aspect: Although you will lack reason and logic, on the contrary your psychic faculties (such as inspiration and clairvoyance) are likely to be highly tuned.
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It is unlikely you will be your usual confident self over the next 24 hours, so make allowances and don't expect more of yourself than you know you are capable of. The world has heaped enough on your shoulders as it is - why add to the pressure?
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In a tricky or potentially embarrassing situation today, reach into your brain for a creative idea to solve the problem -- don't worry, it will be there. And if it's not right there at your fingertips, have confidence that your creativity will come to the rescue and help you to at least figure out an effective approach. Your brilliance is legendary among your group, so be prepared for everyone to assume that you know what to do. Don't let the pressure get to you.
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It may be difficult for you to shake off a dream from last night, even after you are fully awake. But instead of trying to forget about it, try to get to the message that's being delivered from your subconscious mind to your conscious mind. Even if it doesn't make sense at first, stick with it until it does.
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Does your idea of a soul mate correspond to reality? That rude awakening you're experiencing is making you aware of special qualities you've been overlooking.
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Are you a writer or teacher, Rita? If you are, you might find that you aren't quite up to par in what you're producing today. Your verbal skills seem to be blocked. Perhaps you should concentrate on the visual for now. If you're a teacher, use a video or prepare a slide show for your students. If you're a writer, concentrate on charts and illustrations. Save the actual communications for another day. Have fun!
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Attend to things that you should have done yesterday. Investments will cost more than you anticipated. Look out for yourself today.
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You encounter a lot of irresponsibility today. You want loyalty and togetherness, but people go their own way and don't cooperate. You must try to cope with decisions based entirely on moods and not on reason.
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A cardinal had a confrontation with my picture window yesterday. For 45 minutes, it hammered its beak against the glass. With the help of my good friend and research assistant Google, I figured out that the bird had probably mistaken its own reflection for a rival that it was trying to attack. Now I'm offering this scene as a cautionary metaphor for you, Aquarius. Keep three lessons in mind: 1. If you feel the urge to fight others, you're probably mad about something in yourself. 2. Watch your tendency to get fixated on an image that is at best a distorted representation of a real thing and not the real thing itself. 3. Don't hurt yourself or drive yourself crazy in an effort to chase away an illusion.
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Fighting for friends and ideals, and maybe even struggling with them, comes into the picture now. Financial advice may be offered from someone you least expect. Taking this advice will lead you to new opportunities. Encourage a child close to you to raise her standards and you will be pleasantly surprised by what she can achieve.
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Face the music and deal with emotional issues raised. Don't ignore facts -- all it will take is a couple of innovative solutions to fix whatever has gone wrong. You can manipulate a good position for yourself.
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6:43 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Parting the Red Sea
Current mood: pugnacious
Category: Writing and Poetry

These things start slowly, you know.
One red flag unfurled and ignored.
Two red flags catch your eye as you turn your back.
Three red flags encircle you as your stomach turns.

You close your eyes and pretend.
You pluck eyelashes to force your wishes on the world.
You curl up into a ball in the most forgotten corner.
You drown out the senses with a happy tune.
You open your eyes to a sea of red, liquid red:

staining your skin,
soaking your brow,
filling your lungs,
drip by drip.

You gasp for air, fingers flailing
for something solid,
something real,
something strong.

This is the turning point.
This is the first step toward tomorrow.

Will your legs support you?
Or will you succumb?

Will you fill your lungs with air?
Or will you drown in the red sea?

Before you make that pivotal next move, know this:
You are only as strong as you believe yourself to be.

5:58 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Summertime
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Writing and Poetry

Start chipping white paint from wooden six-pane windows. Tire from the chore and slide silently through the north window into a bed of tiger lilies. Place one foot in front of the other as you move along the cinder block wall with arms outstretched like an airplane. Reach the edge and leap into the overgrown grass, just missing the dirt driveway. Grab a pear that's fallen from the tree, flick off the ants, and dig your teeth into its flesh. Imagine an apple's texture. Wonder how pears can be smooth on the outside and so gritty beneath the surface. Decide that apples are girls and pears are boys.

Grab the ten speed you forgot to kickstand an hour earlier. Roll down the hill and cross the railroad tracks in a place that's not paved. Listen to the ticking of the bike and shift gears as you speed through gravestones. Reach a large patch from 1918. Wonder what people did then and why they died so young. Feel a little sad. Seek shelter under a large oak that once stood before a church that's been reduced to a cornerstone memory. Rejoice in the fact that trees last longer than any man made temple. Stretch out across the bench, arching your back like a wild cat as you look up. Your cheeks are strewn with new freckles. The faces in the clouds are smiling at you today.

2:13 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Fictional Attempts
Current mood: amused
Category: Writing and Poetry

"Notice the long object as it hovers above the receptive subject. Note the potent drip, seconds away from entering its virginal prize."

With those words, a hundred sets of groggy eyes peered at the image on the screen before us. All I saw was an upside-down bottle of hot sauce and a baked potato, but what I should've seen was sex. Not just any sex, the dirty kind: sex in advertising.

But the only thought in my mind was, "Who the hell puts hot sauce on a baked potato?" I wondered what everyone else was thinking until the professor spoke.

"Today's exit slip will focus on the latent sexual message conveyed by this advertisement," she said, handing out stacks of small papers to the kids in the first row.

"Fuck!" I thought, but didn't say. I had to write about this now? Oh god, why? I searched my brain for a proper response but all I heard was snickering, Beavis and Butthead style:

"Heh heh, that chic just said 'potent drip,' heh heh," laughed the left brain.

"Huh huh, she's got a 'sexual message' for you, Beavis, huh huh," replied the right brain.

I tuned them out, scribbling a few paragraphs about passive-yet-receptive tubers being invaded by the spicy masculine juices of oppression. I always had a lust-laced imagination, but why should I be forced to abuse it for the pleasure of my middle-aged walking-dictionary of a professor?

"At least it's over now," I thought as I packed up my notebook and searched for a lost pen. Set to leave, I turned toward the exit and there she was. The professor herself, Dr. Insert Name Here, stood two steps above me, directly between me and the door.

Like a deer in headlights, I froze, flashing her the face I had mastered in childhood. I called it the "Wide-Eyed Illusion of Innocence," and it usually worked without fail.

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The clock read 12:09 when Shelley finally squeezed her car into a space on the roof of the garage. Shit! Six minutes. Switching the ignition off with one hand while fumbling for her purse with the other, Shelley knew every movement counted. This would be the third time, the last time. They wouldn't take another excuse, not this time.

Shelley felt the stiff pseudo leather dig into her heels as her feet pounded down the concrete steps. They warned her. They told her. Pam even called her, the sweetie. This was the last time. Now she must deal with the woman at the desk, the one with the thick mustache who was always cracking gum through that familiar smirk. Shit!

Click Clack Click Clack. There was nothing quite like the sound of high heels on a hard surface. But the rhythm wasn't sexy today. Not even close. The heels were on speed, all amped up with nowhere to go and everything to lose.

Gasping for air, Shelley flung the glass door open and assumed her place in line. The clock on the wall read 12:15. Whew! As she wiped the sweat from her manicured brow, that familiar stone began to form in the pit of her stomach.

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Pearl flipped the pages of a fashion magazine with fidgety fingers, her eyes sliding from body to air-brushed body. She didn't bother to read the words. Getting him to commit or wowing him in bed weren't exactly top priorities these days, so she decided to soak her eyes in the satin-skinned beauty of each high gloss page that covered her own patchy and parched knees.

"Pearl?"

The unfamiliar chirpy voice cut through her concentration like an infomercial knife slashing its way through an unsuspecting phonebook. Pearl's fingers quickly closed the magazine. As she rose to her feet, she swiftly shoved the covergirl's face into a better home or garden.

"Hi Pearl! My name is Jenna and I'll be your stylist today!" said a short squarish girl in her mid-twenties.

"Even Jenna's made of silk," Pearl thought as she shook the stylist's hand.

Pearl followed Jenna to one of the chairs that lined the mirrored salon. Why was she doing this?

"So Pearl, what kind of style are you looking for today?" Jenna queried as she fluffed Pearl's frizzy ends with her fingers.

"Well…"

5:18 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

A Presummer Night’s Dream
Current mood: amorous
Category: Writing and Poetry

This is kinda thrown together; it's really just a form of office escapism...

The once-fierce sun begins to slink into the horizon, casting orange and pink hue reminders of the force that burned my bare shoulders all day long. A cool breeze meanders through the thick air, providing my lungs with the wisps of relief they'd sought since sunrise. This is it. The time to escape has come. So I run, evacuating my stuffy kitchen to slip into the serenity of a waxing moon on a clear night.

You live on the third floor of building with no air conditioning. You greet me at the top of the stairs, dripping with sweat you haven't earned. Somehow, sweat always seems sweeter when you've worked for it. As our lips meet and our sweat mingles before dripping down our chins, I think about the best sweat I'd ever experienced. I smile. You smile. And we decide to run.

We run from your small city, from the concrete, from the artificial light. We stop when our feet meet the creek and our arms begin to remove obtrusive shirts, jeans and sandals. You take my hand and we wade into the chilly night waters. You dive below as I shiver, waist deep. Then you emerge, taking me in your arms. I lick up the droplets of creek that linger on your lips. I taste the remnants of unearned sweat that cling to your neck. Then together we plunge below the surface.

Hand in hand, we walk through fields of grass. Tiny beads of water still stick to us. Freshly cut grass clippings cling to our drenched skin. At the peak of a hill, we stop and look up. The sky is clear tonight. The stars seem to shine for us and only us. Without words, we know what the stars are saying. We know what we must do. We listen to nature's soft whisper. We fall into the grass.

We lay on our backs, side by side, our limbs woven together seamlessly as if they were designed to be united. My head instinctively turns until my lips reach your neck. The taste of a sweat well-earned is like sugar to my lips. I nestle my head in its perfect pillow, that curve between your neck and shoulder. Our eyes, wide open, gaze toward heaven. As we silently thank the stars, one begins to plummet from the sky leaving a trail that points toward our creek retreat. Did you wish on that shooting star?

6:35 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Miraculous
Current mood: loved
Category: Writing and Poetry

Millions of lyrics fill my mind at once;
each word drips with the sap of sincerity
once interpreted as stupidity.

My mind is still intact,
sharper than ever,
but the cynic has been silenced
without force
she has conceded
everything once held as fact,
swayed by the spell of truth
that emanates from your eyes,
and slowly leaks from your lips
in a silent whisper
the whole world can see.

My friends, I finally leapt
from that snow-covered peak
falling face first 29,035 feet
toward the jagged rocks below,
egged on only by a feeling
trusting only in the whisper
of a faint melody
written to the beat
of my own frail heart.

Eyes wide open, I dived,
content to free fall
into oblivion
when the cherubs intervened
clutching me
clutching you
creating a creature
called us
with lent wings.

We flew past the rocks,
over the snow-capped caveats,
touching down in a field of flowers
that we pick one by one
never plucking a petal
of quandary,
we weave them,
we wear them,
for faith
has moved mountains
just for us.

7:00 AM - 10 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Obama Came to My House!
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

My driveway
the one made of dirt
the one full of potholes
the one owned by the neighbor
the one many of you have visited
Barack Obama was in my driveway yesterday!

...and I was miles and miles away.

I live with no regrets.
Politicians can't come close
to a holiday well spent with my love.   

6:10 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Who Controls You?
Current mood: catalyzed
Category: Life

"I’m so afraid that they will stop me from getting a job or prevent me from graduating."

This is a quote taken from a Tibetan computer science student who is afraid of the Chinese government, or more specifically, a student who is afraid to disagree with the Chinese government.

I first became aware of the situation in Tibet thanks to Adam Yauch and the Beastie Boys when I was a teenager. I’m sure most of you have heard the phrase "Free Tibet" for the past decade or so, but the situation has only gotten worse. The Chinese government has already done so much to destroy Tibetan culture by relocating Han settlers to the area. Peaceful protestors are being prosecuted. Demonstrators are being killed. International journalists are being denied access to the region. Only the government controlled press and those who are already inside the region are free to spin their side of the story for the rest of the world.

Today, China has called for "patriotic education" for Tibetan monks: Read the Washington Post’s story here . For some reason, I doubt that this patriotic education will lead to greater autonomy for Tibetans. I don’t know about you, but when I hear the words "patriotic education," I start thinking about 1984, about brainwashing, about propaganda; about the time they tried to reprogram Alex in "A Clockwork Orange." When I think of all these things, I start getting all riled up.

We really take our freedom for granted. We are free to speak our minds, and our media isn’t controlled by the government. We can blog on any topic our fingers fancy. We can go outside and protest whatever we feel like protesting. Not only can we can say horrible things about our leaders and our nation’s policies, we’re often encouraged to do these things in college. That’s why the quote from that student bothers me so much. Why should people live in fear just because they identify with and want to retain their culture? Why are Tibetan students afraid that their lives will be destroyed for speaking out against a government while one of my professors in college encouraged me to do my term paper on a book that depicted President Bush, Vice President Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld as the three little pigs? Why should I have this right when others don’t?

Of course, I want to do something about this. But is there anything that I CAN do? China is the largest emerging economy in the world. All of our big corporate giants are already over there staking claims and extending their long arm of corporate control. They’ve been outsourcing American jobs to China for a while, and now the country is beginning to buy up American debt. America and the rest of the world aren’t going to do a thing about China’s human rights violations, suppression of free speech, or their tendency to spread propaganda. The spread of consumption is all that really matters.

I’ve heard many cries for the boycotting of the Olympics this year since they are being hosted in Beijing. True, anybody who cares about what is happening in Tibet can choose not to watch the games this summer. But what about the Olympic sponsors? Can we boycott their products too?

Yesterday, I decided to investigate exactly which companies are sponsoring the Olympics this year. The list that I assembled is far too long to post here, but included the household names of Coca-cola, Kodak, Johnson & Johnson, McDonalds, Visa, UPS, Samsung, Staples, the Home Depot, Hershey’s, Volkswagen...the list goes on and on and on.

If I were to boycott every sponsor of the Olympics (not to mention any products made in China), I would have to live off the land, use cash only, and shop at locally-owned stores that sell natural locally grown products. These sponsors make everything from soda to surgical equipment. They start off by diapering us. They become our tampon and birth control suppliers. They want us to have white teeth and glowing skin. They even give us dental adhesive worth smiling about. They ship our packages. They finance our futures. They bring our fevers down and take away the aches and pain. They know that we rely on them and they bank on the fact that we can’t give them up.

I don’t know if I can really boycott all the Olympic sponsors. When we need office supplies and my boss has a coupon, you can bet I’ll be shopping at Staples. My new camera is made by Samsung and I really really like it. I just opened a huge bottle of lotion that’s made by one of Johnson & Johnson’s companies. I really don’t like the idea of writing checks instead of using my nifty Visa Check Card. I own a Volkswagen that might need repairs at some point. I’m addicted to chocolate.

Keeping track of all the boycotted brands might turn into something of a full-time job in and of itself. The major names are parent companies of so many other brands that I could probably write a thesis on the extendo-arm that is the American corporate machine based solely on Olympic sponsorship. So instead of throwing away that new lotion I like so much, instead wrapping my digital camera in a Chinese flag and smashing it to bits in a sidewalk protest, instead of quitting my job to take up organic farming, instead of enduring pain and letting my teeth rot in the name of freedom, I can make small and deliberate choices each day aimed at eventually freeing myself from the stranglehold of consumerism. (That was some sentence, huh?)

To be honest, I’ve been attempting to free myself from this consumer mentality for quite a while. I love natural foods and products. I’ve always donated and shopped at the Goodwill. I’d rather support a local business owner who knows my name than throw my money to the wolves at Walmart. When I was a kid, my mom always had a big garden and alfalfa sprouts growing in a jar on the window sill. We often bought milk and eggs from local farmers. When I see her buying bulk processed food at Sam’s Club today, it makes me sad. This shows me that the majority of us would choose convenience over substance. Are we really that lazy?

Our government may not control our media or suppress our freedom of speech or assembly. But the giants in the corporate world do have a hold on us. They start brainwashing us with advertisements as children and they play on our dreams, desires and fears until the day we die. Their slogans are programmed into us. Their advertising dollars fund our media outlets and sometimes compromise editorial content. So my question to you is this: Is it better to be controlled by a government or by a corporate structure? Personally, I don’t want to be controlled by either.   

3:57 PM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Green Dream
Current mood: smitten
Category: Writing and Poetry

Jumped in face first, falling fearless for the first time,
Uncovering endless infatuation, inch by hypnotizing inch,
Lounging in the comfort of your luxurious arms, gazing deep
Into those magical green pools, sneaking peeks of your soul.
Addicted, I ache for one more taste of your luscious full lips.
Nurture this spell you’ve cast on me so it stays strong?

10:14 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment