Good Times and Bad, the "it’s been too long" update
Current mood: groggy

It's freakin' late on a school night, but for the love of God, sleep just isn't mine to be had...

So, I've got this plague that's managed to hit EVERYONE I know; literally, every friend and co-worker has had some form of this thing, mostly lung-y, cough-y, ache-y...  and I'm going on the end of week 4 in total misery.

I took a load of anti-biotics, so the icky lung paste is out, but I'm still coughin'... in an effort to make it productive, I'm takin' some Methylprednisolone, it's basically inhaler med's in pill form.  It's working, but I felt a little... off today, and had a hell of a time sleeping...  so I FINALLY look up potential side effects...

In BIG, BLACK, LETTERS...

INSOMNIA.

Friggin' Sweet!

Anyway, so yeah, I'm stuck, but it'll pass I reckon.  But more to the point, this lack of sleeping is allowing me to FINALLY (Sorry it took so long Resa) tell folks that hell froze over...

I'm gittin' hitched.

I'll let that sink in for a second.

Yup, she's bitchin.  I got a whole list of reasons why, but ya'll don't need to know about those, they're self-evident by anyone that sees us.  Love's irrational, but the effects are pretty blatent on both of us.  So far, the folks that know are super supportive, both family and friends, which is huge.  I will go into the tale on the specifics at a later time, with both my version and her version.  As one might imagine, the versions are fairly similar, but mine has some ninja's being fended off and a bar fight scene, followed by a police chase and some gun fire exchange... and her's... well... has me doing a lot more stammering (hey, I was scared!) and fiddling with the ring box and is probably closer to what actually happened...  Both of us have our favorite parts, I think her's is when I excuse myself from the table and mutter with a heavy sigh, "I can't do this yet, I gotta go to the bathroom," to which she replies, "chicken shit!"  "I'm comming back, I just gotta go to the bathroom."  And I think my favorite part is when she smiled all big and said, "yes."  It's good.  It's realy good.  I'm really just excited about where this is going to take our lives together, and it's gonna be awe-inspiring.

Yeah, so, relationally, I'm solid.  Don't think I could honestly say that before...

Let's see... work.

Well, I'm still at Control Freak being a Project Manager.  This is exciteing for two reasons... 1.) I've not gotten fired/laid off/the shop's closed/etc.  2.) I've not goten fed up and quit.  Both of those are pretty new.  I'm just goin' on a year, I love my boss, even when he really is askin' to be choked out (which is a regular occurance), my co-workers are actually on "our" collective side, which rocks, and my clients... well... the uber-wealthy of the beach cites are difficult to deal with, but the really bizarre thing about each and every single one of them... they're not special. 

I've gotta tangent for a moment... I work for rich folks... Not just well heeled, we're talkin' 30,000 sq ft houses on the freakin' cliff overlooking the beach.  We're talkin' car's I've only ever scene in video games.  Stupid wealthy folks, with entire staffs of folks catering to their every need... and 98% of them, they had ONE business deal hit and it allowed them to gamble ('cause that's what business is) a little higher stakes, and literally paved their way.  Contrary to popular (i.e. their!) beliefs, they're not smarter, better looking, more savy, work harder, have better taste, stronger, faster, better.  They just got lucky.  Right place right time.  They're friggin' lottery winners.  Now see, this entire concept gives me a but-ton of hope.  Forget the recession, forget what we're born into, anyone of us could just get lucky, make the right business deal at the right time, and WHAM, we're set.  I just hope that should such a scenario ever happen to me, I hope I take my friends with me... and I don't lose my damn mind thinkin' I'm better, etc, ad nausium...

Back to our regularly scheduled update!

So, work... yeah, I feel like I'm getting a handle on things.  It was hard with no A/V background (I could barely get my PS2 to work!), to go big scale, but it's not too bad once you got the concepts... sure, the wires get longer, but at a certain point, it's only as complicated as it needs to be, any more and you'd loose quality, so on some level it kinda breaks down in common sense type ways... Oh, it's a little stressful... alright, hugely, mainly 'cause we're still workin' out the bugs of our company infrastructure, which I'm not ashamed to admit.  My boss has had a rough go of employees, and has pretty much had to do everything himself or micromanage it to death to get it to work.  Havin' him have a group of foks that actually can execute has got to be a little scary for the man.  So there's still some hitches, but they're quickly gettin' knocked down and dealt with... again, we're kinda in this together, and for once it feels like everyone's aware, and we all want it to work out... kinda groovy.

Um, alright, I'm finally starting to feel the need for some shut eye, thanks for listening, and I'm going to try to write on here a little more... I've been feeling creatively stymied and this is feelin' kinda good right now, so... yeah, must need to do some writing...

XOXO
-Mikey

1:02 AM - 11 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

ATTN: all musicians, bands, musicmakers, etc...

Chances are fairly good, that I won't like yer band.  I know, pretty hyper critical of me, not bein' overly willin' to listen to what ya got to offer, but seriously, do NOT offer me a friend request at random, you'll git denied and put in my "round file" of folks I'll never support.  Now if you shoot me an e-mail... given time I will check your page out, if I like ya'll, I'll add you. 

But I'm probably not gonna like yer stuff...

XOXO
-Mikey

Currently watching : The Way of the Gun Release date: 02 January, 2001

7:20 AM - 2 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Best X-mas ever...

Alright, so I'm sittin' here, kinda feelin' "meh" about my x-mas plans... I'm goin' to my ma's place tommorrow, which in and of itself isn't bad, there's just her boyfriend I gotta deal with (he's a bigtime waste of space), and my grandma (who tries to be manuplative and I won't stand fer any of it, but then she feels hurt, and I feel like an ass, but that's just her manuplatin' more...) I don't know, I'm not overly stoked about the 8hrs of transit (train, bus, train) it takes to git there... and I've gotta leave the house at 4AM to git the roommate to LAX to catch a flight, then drive back and go to the train station...

Rant over, I basically got a horrific start to my "wonderful holiday experience."  But, somethin' really neat-o happened... one of my soldiers from back in the day contacted me on here two days ago, and I gave him a call tonight.  Now I didn't have a ton of time, as I'm tryin' to git ready fer my trip, but he did remind me about our best x-mas ever in Ft. Lewis, Washington...

We had to work X-mas eve.  Now, I can imagine it's pretty rotten to be a local cop on X-mas eve... but the military all but shuts down.  There's even a story about a x-mas cease-fire durrin' WWII, where U.S. and German troops started singin' Silent Night 10 Yards from each other, and it's 100% legitimate.  Stuff just stops.  So, we're static, that is, we're not allowed to drive around /patrol our entire shift due to the incredible amount of black ice, we only respond to direct calls, and there were none to be had.  So we sat in our cars, fought off sleep, and tried to stay warm (it was -12 degrees).  The shift came and went, relatively uneventful... well, I did manage to sneak a BOTTLE of vanilla schnapps into our 5 Gallon Thermos of coffee, and that kinda took the edge off of an otherwise shitty shift... anyway, nuthin' like an abuse of power...

Right, so shift's over, we go back to the barracks, take naps, wake up, and decide we should do somethin' about dinner... problem is, none of us planned ahead.  Remember that thing about bases are all but ghost towns durrin' x-mas?  Well, nuthin' was open, and even the off-post options that were open earlier (since we worked graves, we slept through them bein' open), were now closed... yes now we were  up a river without a paddle...

We pillaged every fridge we could find, but most folks that took leave got rid of their food.  Upon the conclusion of our foraging we looked down at the mighty banquet thrown before us. 

Fried Clams and Corndogs.

We got to microwave our fried clams, but as we were microwavin' our corndogs, the power blew, and it was a bigger issue than the breaker box, we couldn't fix it, so we ate our fried clams and barely thawed corndogs by candlelight.

Yeah, thinkin' about goin' to Modesto is so no longer a drag.

XOXO
-Mikey

7:47 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Black Rock Syndrome.

President Grant in the 1840's, created a principle called "total war."  Basically, it was to conduct warfare at a level that would leave any gained terrirory/ground "unliveable" for the human race in it's wake.  It's what Sherman did in his march to the sea, and what allowed the north to win the civil war.

Assuming that the various enemies of the US of A decided to strike in a fashion that striked the average American, and we were to be riled to a fever that supported "total war," there'd be nuthin' to gain, as we would strike any potential enemies with such weaponry to render the supposed enemy a "glass plane," that is, we'd create a heat so great that the top 5 feet of topsoil would be cooked to glass...

So why would folks pick that fight?

They'd have to strike stragetically, so not to evoke our ire... as a populous, we're prone to violence, we've a history of fightin', and dirty at that... I wonder, if the folks that seek to strike terror into our government are aware that we'd go all sorts of ape shit if they really hit us personally?

Bah, drunken ramblings at 11PM on a work night...

-Mikey

11:08 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Just a quick word....

So, I was granted the honor of performing two baptisims for two folks I hold in high regard today.

And while that was a superlatively magical moment in itself, I found myself kinda berating myself, criticizing my performance, and doubting myself and my worthliness to perform such an act... and I heard a voice.  It was God.

"You are NOT a mistake"

Freakin' wow.  Five words.  Somethin' ya think I would know and be aware of, bein' a beloved by him, but never put to me in that way... and to say my world changed doesn't begin to do it justice...

"You are NOT a mistake"

Talk about a defining moment of my existance...

I'm so freakin' overwhelmed... bein' loved by God has not had as much meanin' as one would think... love isn't a great thing in my world, it's conditional, it's, "I love you when yer not a screw up," that's what knowin' God's (or other people's love fer that matter) means to me... but, knownin' that I'm on purpose... good, ill, and otherwise... that speaks volumes...

So I feel it's my duty to alert all of you all to the same... to those that have heard of God's love, and that we are all amazin' creations of the most high God... there is something that God want's us all to know...

"You are not a mistake."

Blessings.
XOXO
-Mikey

11:00 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Purpose...
Current mood: hopeful

Breed hope.  Abundantly and with complete disregard to the fallout that will ensue.  I don't care if it's rainin' razor blades, we'll make it through this and thrive in defiance of the darkness.

We are not beaten, we are not losers, and while we will suffer setbacks we will come back better prepared to clash again.

Durrin' last Lent I gave a stab at attackin' life with abandon, and it worked... mostly in ways I didn't intend, or see, or even think possible, but sure as water's wet, it was an amazin' experience.   Lately I've been gittin' my teeth kicked in, a bunch of obscure angles, and I've been tryin' to put my finger on why...  Is it the play?  Is it me battlin' smokin'?  Am I gittin' closer to doin' somethin' good, maybe even monumentally so?  Sure... I'm sure all of that contributes, but most importantly, I fell back into the old cycle of just gittin' by.

Yeah, I started wonderin' why nuthin' was tastin' right, or feelin' right, and experiences seem just a shade grayer than I remembered... and it clicked, the last time life was just a rampant, chaotic upswing, was Lent.

So I'm goin' back.  I'm gonna retake my hill.  Ya'll are welcome to join me.

XOXO
-Mikey

Currently listening : The Warrior's Code By Dropkick Murphys Release date: 21 June, 2005

5:44 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Religious Debate.

Alright, I'm feelin' the need to clear some things up.

Bein' a Christian isn't easy.  Wow, hell of an understatement to start off with, but, it's the simple truth of it.  It's the antithesis of the innate, "what's in it fer me factor," bein' a self-serving preditor, which is honestly what we were created to do.  God's image notwithstanding, we climbed to the top of the food chain not merely 'cause we're tool users, but because as a species of critter, we're piss mean.  We've no natural weapons or defenses, but we kill for sport and beyond the needs of our own consumption, hell, no other critter wears cloths made from the dead flesh of other critters?! (shut up with the hermit crabs!)

However, while some of ya'll have been aware of my fairly recent crisis's of faith, know that I'm recovered, and more to the point, pulled my head outta my ass.  Quite an accomplishment fer someone not workin' fer Circe' de sole'!  Anyway, one of the themes I received from several folks was condemnation of how I live my life/protray myself as a christain/my ability to love Jesus and my fellow man inspite of refusin' to act like Ned Flanders, and that bein' the reason for my situation.  That I was somehow impure ( by their standards ::cough, cough::), and thus my faith was being impacted, and they were not sure what they're prayin' fer me could do.

::blink, blink::

Ya follow so far?  Well, the good news is the impact of such accusations made me re-evaluate my walk and find it good.  It was my fellow christian's tellin' me I'm not pure (for lack of a better word) enough that made me realize that I'm doin' just fine.  See, best I can figure, I AM a bad Christian... but much like the ways Jesus was a bad Jew. 

To paraphrase the entirity of the bible in 2 sentences, Old Testiment: Don't fuck with God, New Testiment: Be nice to people.  Christ was reductionistic while maintain' the big picture, he specifically points out that if the details are what worry ya, ya never git to the place of enjoyin' the gifts of spirituality.  Doctrine, fine, if ya need rules that carry ya beyond "don't be a dick," then hold true and fast to them.  I don't feel they are nessisary, and more to the point, I find them trappings of piousness, which, at best give, one a false sense of security, and at worse, are seeds of hypocracy. 

I am compelled to do what's right, by myself and God.  I feel if in my interactions I can inspire hope, then I am doing the Lord's work.  Now does it matter if I do it spinnin' a macabre' tale in the process?  Or maybe dress and carry myself as one that my fellow sinners could relate to?  Or perhaps my blatent use for vulgarity rankles you, 'cause it never dawned on ya that if somethin' is "fuckin' brilliant," and I feel it to be so, using any other statement is lying?

::smirk::

In repsonse to such tactics, folks like to quote Paul (and I'm bad at direct scripture and verse, I'm a concept learner) about how ya should not act in ways to hinder someone else's walk.  Which makes me cock my head a bit, because that's an aweful comfortable extrapolation to fit whatever one needs.  If my unit of community wishes to ban liquer, that's justification for it, smokin', ditto, wearin' the color red since it's emotionally synonimous with anger, check, it allows extrapolation to bullshit degrees.  AND, it works in reverse... see, 'cause if I, bein' a Christian in the margin of the mainstream, the Ned Flander's of the world are hindering my walk, by presenting a front that I find to be unreasonable and unrelatable. 

I don't know, I'm stupid tired, and just kinda wrapped up in this.

Just be a good person, if ya seek betterment, ask for it, hell, accept Jesus as yer Lord and he'll work out the details with ya later... it's all about just takin' action, not lookin' like ya are...

-Mikey

5:38 AM - 9 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

BPTH! Really, you need to read this... or yer genitals will never forgive ya...
Current mood: chipper

Catchy, isnt' it...

The title, the title kinda grabs ya... makes ya think, WTF?!

Well, we are here to make things clear as mud...

Q- What is it... sure it's got a catchy title,  but I don't git it?!

A- Well huddled masses, it's a Post-Apocolyptic movie I git the honor of bein' associated with.

Q- How so H4H?

A- Well... for the big what-to-do screenings of their movie (see their page fer details, it's my "numero uno" on my top 8!), I am assisting on writting a faux-newspaper to promote their movie during the L.A. Film Festival.  Granted, I didn't write the script, but the amazing thing is, it sounds like I could have!  Yes, hear me now but believe me when ya buy tickets and go to the screening, this amazin' piece of celluloid is F'n BRILLIANT, and I could only hope to write somethin' as well done as this if I live to see 2097 myself!

Q- Alright, so yer in with an indy flick... why should I care?

A- Alright... no brainer here... hollywood hasn't put together an original idea in ages!  C'mon, they're makin' remakes of Bewitched and Your's, Mine, and Our's, and insulting our intelligence as movie goers, thinkin', "Hey, they'll plop down 15 bucks to see absolute horse shite that their parents saw 20 years ago and was shite then!"  This, my friends, THIS is original... THIS is where cinema needs to be, THIS is the only hope for the future... we, as civilized neanderthals need to engage in this type of entertainment, lest we be subjected to the dreaded eventuality of, "Gilligan's Island the movie!," or "Blossom's Revenge!"  C'mon, none of us will survive!  Give me radiation, the end of the world as we know it, a suspicious lack of firearms ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!

::pant, pant::

Q- Ok... you seem serious... even if yer psychologically unstable, I can't help but be intrigued... where can I find out more?

A- ON MY BLOODY FRIEND LIST, NUMBER-FREAKIN'-ONE!  or...

http://bpthmovie.com/comic.html

That's the old website... a newer one (and occasionally quirky...), but it's got the comic about the creation of Yul and Quincy, which if ya don't know, ya really need to... it's fun enough to almost make me wet my pants... (Alright, not so almost, so git a bed pan!)

http://thresholdofhell.com

The current website, more edgy, and chock'full'o'goodness like only mamma used to make...

http://www.lafilmfest.com

Where to git tickets... Buy them, don't come, but regret it the rest of yer natural life!  Showing's are Fri 6/23, 11:59pm, and Sat 7/01, 9:30pm, and they're currently only 10 bones!  A Bargain at twice the price...

-Interview over-

Right, so that said and done, check it out, it's stupid amounts of fun, and I know fun...

-H4H

12:20 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Remember that time...
Current mood: indescribable

When we found that old pirate treasure map, and followed it to that old restraunt, but it was a summer place, and we got chased by those mobsters, and they captured the fat kid, but he got free thanks to the hydrocephallic freak in the superman t-shirt?!  MAN!  Were those good times!?

-or-

When we were trapped in time, surrounded by evil, and low on gas?  MAN!  Were those good times?!

-or-

We were mindin' our own business in gym class, and all of a sudden, ruskie's came parashutin' outta the sky, and we had to raid the sporting goods store, and drink the blood of our first kills... too bad about Johnny... but MAN!  Were those good times?!

-or-

We were kidnapped by that mad scientist, and somehow you managed to wiggle free of the ropes, and you got me free, and we started rummagin' around through his trunks and weapon racks, and we found that ray gun thing, that when ya shot him with it, his fat crackled nicely and the flesh fell from his bones, and he didn't even manage to git out a gurgle before lifelessly hittin' the cold stone floors, his skull thudding as it hit the pavement, and you were scared, 'cause you realized in yer drunken stupor that we worked for the professor, and he was only keepin' us safe as we were piss drunk with loaded, large bore rifles, anyway, so we got in his car, but didn't realize it was a time machine, and when it went 88.8 miles per hour, we were transported to just a few minutes before you managed to wiggle yerself free, and we were a few seconds outta synch with the rest of reality, so we couldn't really effect the going's on, and the professor died again, so we got back in the car, did it again, but this time reached into his trunk where he keeps his electro-de-velocitator, and managed to stop ourselves from liquifyin' our boss!  MAN... wait a tic... you weren't there fer that... you called in sick... YOU BASTARD!

XOXO
-Mikey

Currently playing : Xbox 360 Core System Release date: 20 March, 2006

12:16 AM - 5 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Judgement
Current mood: pissed off

Isn't mine, no matter how high-falutin', pious, well-intentioned, researched, prayed about, self-important, recognized, or otherwise counciled I happen to think I am.

I am welcome to my oppinion, and that's where it ends, final say doesn't matter, not to me, not now, not ever.

Time to git a bit preachy...  Roman's 2.  Even fer ya non-bible thumpin' types out there, pay attention, as it'll give ya ammo to thwart those folks that miss the most rudimentary of human concepts.  See, Paul, the HMIC of the church, is writin' to the group of folks workin' the Jesus angle in Rome, and there's some infighting, and it's not like he can give 'em a ring and tell them to pull their heads outta their ass.  He's gotta right a letter.  Now the true brilliance is, Roman's 1 is all about how the wicked will git theirs.  And that kinda gits yer guard down, ya start feelin' like, "hey, I'm not bad like THOSE people..." and then Roman's 2 hits, which comes across with, "and if ya feel better about yerself 'cause yer not like THOSE people, yer a sonuvabitch!"  Turns out that Paul was pretty sharp, and realized what it took psychology thousands of years to catch up on... we are fucked in the noggin'!

Turns out, even if we follow Christ, we're still goin' to be pathological about it.  Even the best of our intentions will be, at best, met with failure... we're imperfect beings.  Or, more to the point, we're fucked up from the ground up, we live in a constant state of anxiety, tryin' to manage fears of things we can't control, and really like the thought that we got it all covered, that we are the masters of our own destiny, that we are in charge, and the entirity of the cosmos revolves around us... but it doesn't work that way, it never has, it never will, and anyone that want's to refute that can talk to anyone who's ever gotten into a car accident or lost a fight.  Things you didn't exactly see comming, and even as the event unfolded, ya were hopin'/thinkin' that it'd work out a different way...

Live.  Just live.  The details will be worked out later.  Yer only screwed if don't pick a path.  If yer a shit monkey, be a shit monkey, if yer not, then don't be... but another neat-o thing about Romans 2, and it's somethin' my fellow Christians like to ferget, "gentiles" are just as saved as we self-rightious pontificating bastards, if they're good folks.  A whole slew of us think and openly boast about our salvation comming from Jesus, and that is correct, since it's the truth we hold to, but bein' right in the eyes of God and bein' right by the eyes of the church/christians is NOT one in the same, and it is vanity to think that we, as christians are allowed, warrented, or proper to render judgement either favoribly or ill, on any of our fellow man.

Back to basics, if yer a creationist, the freakin' tree... what was the name of freaking tree?!  Why was it important to know?  Because we wanted to know, so bad.  'Cause the knowledge of good and evil we thought we could handle.  'Cause we thought judgement would be ours then...

Put it together, ultimately, I believe that we were not created to be destroyed.  Just quit tryin' to mitigate yer own fear by lookin' down on other folks and findin' yerself better... you won't be better, even if surrounded by asswipes, worry about yerself, yer screwed up enough as is.

And I say this with all the love in my heart.  We're gonna be just fine when the smoke clears, and since I believe the soul endures, the first rounds' on me when it's over.

XOXO
-Mikey

Currently listening : Revival By Reverend Horton Heat Release date: 29 June, 2004

3:47 AM - 8 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment