Friends or Lovers - Conversation 1 - What is the most sexist thing about the army?
Current mood: 
flirty
Category: Writing and Poetry
"Flying always makes me feel humble," he suddenly remarked. "You look down there and you realise just how insignificant you are."
He looked straight into my eyes and held my gaze for a second, and then he smiled. All the lines at the corners of his eyes creased. Definitely nice eyes. I instinctively smiled back. He held my gaze long enough to let me know he liked the way I looked, then without another word he resumed reading his book. From then on, I noticed his every move. He was reading intently, underlining phrases that caught his imagination. Sometimes he would sigh, and at other times he frowned. After a while he let out a laugh.
"A comedy?" I asked.
He turned to me again and smiled.
"Of sorts," he remarked showing me the title of an article he was reading. I obliged by reading it out.
"The impact of sexuality on group dynamics: a symbolic interactionist perspective." I paused for a moment and then quipped, "Some comedy!"
He looked carefully at me and nodded in agreement.
"Penny," I announced, "thirty-something manager from Warwickshire."
"John," he responded, "forty-something consultant from London."
There was that smile again. This time I held his gaze for a little longer to let him know I liked the way he looked.
"A consultant, eh! In what field?" I enquired.
"Behaviour," he responded.
"Are you in my line of work?" I asked, hoping to dig a bit into his background.
"And what line is that?"
"Employees. I'm an HR manager."
"Partly, I guess. I sometimes work with HR people. I would guess they read my work sometimes…."
"You're a writer?" This was getting better and better.
"Well, I write, but I'm not a writer. I mean I don't write for a living; writing is a by-product of my living."
"Very enigmatic. So, what is it you do?"
He paused.
"I challenge the way people look at themselves and each other," he said guardedly.
"In what way?" I was genuinely curious.
"Well….I might help men to look at women differently, or women to look at men differently."
"So are you a relationship counsellor? A sex therapist?" As I said the word 'sex' I placed just enough emphasis on it to ensure he knew it was a flirt.
"Only to my wife!" he joked, acknowledging my interest and deflecting it at the same time.
"You've got a wife?" the words came out so fast that I kicked myself.
"Yes, and kids," he immediately answered.
He continued without any trace of embarrassment while I wanted to shrink into my seat. If my cheeks had coloured up, he convinced me that they had not.
"Some of my clients think of me as a pain in the arse."
I was tempted to make another flirty comment, but resisted.
"Why?"
"Well, let's see. You're in HR, right? You must have an abundance of 'knowledge' about men and women."
The way he said 'knowledge' was weird, like a challenge. Did I detect the hint of mockery?
"As much as the next person, I guess."
"Oh, more than that, surely? It is your job to know about men and women. You must be acutely aware of their typical profile."
"Of course," I said with a smile. "Woman are made of sugar and spice and all things nice while men are made of slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails."
He smiled.
"We don't have long enough to discuss that one! Okay. A taster only. Let's take something outside your everyday experience. Let's think about the army."
"The army!" I was genuinely surprised. "Your assumption is right. Khaki never was my colour and I don't like getting dirty."
"You disappoint me," he said, raising his eyebrows.
"What about the army, then?" I asked, brushing aside his comment with a smile.
"Well, it may not be fair. I usually ask this question at the end of a course," he said.
"Aha! The million pound question!" I said. "Can I ask the audience?"
"Well, it's your opinion that really intrigues me," he said.
I liked that. It was flattering to think I intrigued him.
"Okay. Here's your question. 'What's the most sexist thing about the army?'"
What an odd question, I thought, and it made me pause.
"Fuck! Where do I begin?"
Where would this lead? I turned over half a dozen arguments in my head – the army is, after all, an organisation created by men, staffed largely by men with the purpose of keeping men in power. However, I didn't want to spoil a promising conversation by saying this. I started to offer less controversial suggestions.
"Bullying, raping and abusing."
He looked at me kindly.
"That's three things," he said with a wry smile.
"I saw a documentary some time ago about women in the army. Some had to put up with dreadful abuse. I had a girlfriend who was in the police, and she talked of similar things happening to her. I imagine the army is even worse."
"Bullying, rape and abuse happen to men as well," John said.
I felt nervous and my right hand instinctively went to pinch my ear lobe. I found it difficult to look him in the eye while I thought.
"Can I phone a friend?" I teased.
"All mobiles must be switched off during the flight," he said with mock severity.
"What's the most sexist thing about the army?" I repeated quietly to myself. "It's not a trick question, is it?"
"Not at all. But it's a thought provoker, don't you think?"
In a way it was and I kept looking for the way he wanted the question answered rather than the way that I would have answered it myself. That, I felt, was the real thought provoker.
"You did ask!" he said with a laugh.
I wasn't going to be put off that easily, so I thought some more.
"Women soldiers get raped….men don't."
"Male soldiers get raped too, usually when in enemy hands," said John.
I was genuinely shocked to hear that.
"God, that's sick."
"Indeed."
"But it's not the same, surely?" I retorted. "I mean, a woman is always going to feel more violated, more powerless." Even as I said it, I wasn't sure that I was making sense.
"Maybe. Have we asked the men how they felt about it?"
I paused. He was probably so practised at fielding answers to this question that I was on a hiding to nothing so I looked for a way out.
"I can't say I've given this much thought."
"You wouldn't be alone in that."
"Bit of a depressing subject," I added and shot him an irritated look that hopefully did not cross the boundary into rudeness.
"You're right. And I wouldn't want you to remember me as the depressing old git who spoiled your flight home."
"Don't get me wrong. It's food for thought," I replied somewhat apologetically.
"But not a very sexy topic. Not nearly as sexy as your perfume …."
I laughed before I could stop myself.
"Hey, married man! Should you be talking to me like that?" I snapped back ensuring my eyes caught his again.
"But it is sexy. Are you asking me to lie to you? I thought women hated liars…."
"Perhaps you should be a bit more choosey about the things you say." I said these words with a smile that reassured him that his compliments were very welcome.
"Okay, what should I say to a young woman like you?"
It was not what he said that induced butterflies, but the way he looked at me as he said it.
"Less of the 'young', please," I said coyly. "I'm old enough to gobble you up."
"Hmmm. Nice thought. I can see that I'm going to have to watch you!" he chuckled.
"Watch me? I think you opened up this…..er…..line of talk." I was enjoying this.
"Do you like to open up?" he asked inquisitively.
"Yes, but only with strangers," I quipped.
"Then I'd better not get to know you too well, had I?"
Whatever I had expected on the journey home, it was not this. I was not sure whether to invite him to join the mile high club, or punch him in the balls for being so cheeky.
relaxed
blustery
bouncy
artistic
frisky
blessed
breezy