Band BLOG 4

I knew the weight would start falling off after I got my fill.  It has, in a big way.  I do not want to wake my wife by using the scale near our bedroom, plus as of late, every time I weigh myself, the results have been so good, that I jump up in the air like one of those "Oh, what a feeling-Toyota" commercials.  And for the record, I am a Ford man.

The grand total as of yesterday is 24 pounds lost, but the weekend is coming up, and I expect some fluctuation. 

While there are so many things that are different when utilizing the Lap-BAND as a diet aid, nothing can prepare you for the weekends.  You aren't working, you are more prone to just grabbing lunch or dinner instead of cooking it, and yes, there is a lot of alcohol at the places a lot of us like to go.  In my case, ALL the places I like to go.  J

Surprisingly enough, I still have not had much of a craving for Jack Daniel's.  Since I cannot have Diet Coke anymore, or mix it with my cocktails, they just don't taste the same.  Me not having "Black Jack" is good for a number of reasons.  Perhaps I'll turn in to a wine snob.

I was warned against slow cooked foods, but in my mind I was thinking I needed to steer clear of Bar-B-Q.  But the most miserable I have been on this diet was after taking a few bites of a rotisserie chicken.  It and the BAND did not get along.  I just happened to be the innocent bystander in their battle, and there was about a 10 minute window of misery that has sworn me off of the slow roasted yard bird for good.

While the reactions are different for each patient, for me, if I eat too fast or take too big of bites, I get a terrible heart burn or heart attack feeling in my chest.  Unless you are a masochist or sadist, you probably will not enjoy that.  But if you ARE a sadist or a masochist you are probably in pretty good shape.  I hear those leather outfits really keep the pounds off, and I do not even want to think what you do for exercise.

So, like a lot of others, I stare two days of temptation in the face, and I am already planning activities and other things to keep me away from the bars and buffets.  Not like I can eat much off of them.  But given the profit and loss sheets will finally swing in the favor of the owners when I arrive to dine, perhaps I will go to one.  It will be my way of giving back.

5:20 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Band BLOG 3

I had my first 'fill' today.  In order for the Lap-BAND to be effective, and frankly what was appealing to me is that it was adjustable, and removable.  How do they increase or decrease the size?  With saline injected through a tiny port placed under your skin on the day of surgery.

I was nervous.  But everybody I know who has had this procedure said it was no big deal.  Well, I consider every time a needle gets jabbed into my upper stomach to be something of concern.

A bit painful yes, more uncomfortable than anything else, and I do believe my friends when they say the first one is the most difficult one.  Much like the first time I made love, though the saline injection lasted much longer. 

I saw an animated scale on the wall where they give you the injection.  It instructed you how to express your level of pain to the Nurse Practitioner, who, by the way, I really like.  It was done with a series of numbers and facial expressions.   Obviously, the lower the number, the bigger the smile, the lesser the pain.  But for you the readers, I have come up with a few real world comparisons that will not only give you a better grip on my experience, but possibly yours too.

I would rather repeat the first time fill than:

5> Drink a prune smoothie

4> Have a root canal

3> See my Step Mother

2> Have jury duty

1>Catch a venereal disease

I am most sure that with this fill, the weight is going to start really falling off.  They recommend liquids for the next few days.  I will follow their advice.  But, I do plan on having a celebratory glass of wine for my success so far.  I think I deserve it.  No, I know I do. 

FYI-It appears that my personal memoirs have caught the eye of some weight loss advocates already.  We may be moving this BLOG to a place where more people can see and discover it.  If we go, I'll let you know where and when.

4:35 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Band BLOG 3

I had my first 'fill' today.  In order for the Lap-BAND to be effective, and frankly what was appealing to me is that it was adjustable, and removable.  How do they increase or decrease the size?  With saline injected through a tiny port placed under your skin on the day of surgery.

I was nervous.  But everybody I know who has had this procedure said it was no big deal.  Well, I consider every time a needle gets jabbed into my upper stomach to be something of concern.

A bit painful yes, more uncomfortable than anything else, and I do believe my friends when they say the first one is the most difficult one.  Much like the first time I made love, though the saline injection lasted much longer. 

I saw an animated scale on the wall where they give you the injection.  It instructed you how to express your level of pain to the Nurse Practitioner, who, by the way, I really like.  It was done with a series of numbers and facial expressions.   Obviously, the lower the number, the bigger the smile, the lesser the pain.  But for you the readers, I have come up with a few real world comparisons that will not only give you a better grip on my experience, but possibly yours too.

I would rather repeat the first time fill than:

5> Drink a prune smoothie

4> Have a root canal

3> See my Step Mother

2> Have jury duty

1>Catch a venereal disease

I am most sure that with this fill, the weight is going to start really falling off.  They recommend liquids for the next few days.  I will follow their advice.  But, I do plan on having a celebratory glass of wine for my success so far.  I think I deserve it.  No, I know I do. 

FYI-It appears that my personal memoirs have caught the eye of some weight loss advocates already.  We may be moving this BLOG to a place where more people can see and discover it.  If we go, I'll let you know where and when.

4:35 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Band BLOG 2

They should call me 'yo-yo.'  Not because I want to be a rap star, but because my weight has been up and down for the last week or so.  There were a number of reasons, the biggest one being I *graduated* to softer foods like chicken and fish.

That happened to be the same weekend Kim and I had two crawfish boils to attend, plus we were entertained by The Lighthouse Charity Team on Galveston Bay.  The scale and my sunburn are evidence of it. 

Cool thing is, I am a pound away from losing 20.  So, good or bad, on or off, I am still averaging a pound a day, and I am assuming it'll be that way for a while.

I'll let you know now that the band is not a cure-all.  I have watched my sodium intake, calories and alcohol consumption closer than I ever have.  I also have seen a decrease in my blood pressure already and have had NO stomach problems, Which I have been plagued with on and off for about 10 years now.

My funky cravings have gone away for the most part.  I still can't give up that super scalding oriental hot sauce I discovered a few weeks ago, but I have stopped eating brown mustard as an entree, and no longer desire to do shooters of balsamic vinegar.

I also began a simple exercise regimen.  Nothing big.  Just walking or riding my bike for about half an hour a day.  I've done it most days, feel better for it, and despite telling myself I did not have the time, I do not seem to be any worse a husband or a man for doing it, though I must do something about that tiny bike seat.

Friday is officially the start of week four.  Week four is a very special time for the Lap-BAND patient.  That is the day you graduate to red meat.  Just like an Olympic Athlete, I have been training for this event for what seems like an eternity.  Have not had but a meatball or two on the sly, and have been practicing chewing my food so it can pass through the band with ease and without complications for this glorious day.  Guess what?  Friday is the day I have been called to the Physicians Surgi-Center office for my first fill.  That is when they actually fill the band up.  This is the thing that will trick my mind into thinking I am full, and I will only be able to eat a few bites of this and that during the day.  If I overdo it, there are adverse reactions I dare not post here, plus I have been told it will make me feel like I swallowed a recreational vehicle.

What is even worse, is that for  three days following the fill, I am back on liquids.  Come on Beef Broth! 

Lesson learned today is most certainly quality over quantity.  Especially near 'fill time'-'cause that's all your gonna get. 

Band BLOG 1
Current mood: happy

The magic number is "18" 

...18 pounds I have lost since I had my surgery Friday, a week ago.  I must admit, this high tech mind over matter procedure really does work.  At least so far.  I have not really been physically hungry, but mentally, having not 'pigged out' on anything for a few weeks is messing with my head.

I have not joined a support group yet.  I am kind of avoiding that.  But, I have you, my faithful readers.  I also have a boat load of notes I am going to turn into a million selling book and subsequent stand up comedy tour.  So, look for me on Larry King in a year or so.

Anyway, back to the mind freak.  Among other things, I can smell french fries and tortilla chips from about 500 yards from their deep fried destination.  When I do smell them, my heart just beats out of my chest.  I mean, reach for the Xanax anxiety. 

I have visions like I am going to break into the kitchen at Cafe Adobe and start jamming them down my throat like the Cookie Monster.

What is even stranger is the cravings I now have.  Brown Mustard squeezed directly into a spoon, balsalmic vinegar by the shot glass, and the one condiment I used to pour on every creation, ketchup; I won't even look at and have no desire for -whatsoever.  But boy do I love spicy sauces now.  I know there are some that are packed with sodium and/or sugar, and I have taken note of that.

Quickly I'd like to say howdy to Laura and the gang at the Physicians Surgi-Center.  That is the place I had the Lap-BAND done.  They have discovered this little BLOG.  Good folks they are.  (yes, I am taking my blood pressure pills) but my family physician, Dr. Little sas I probably won't be taking them long!  :)

I'll be gone from the KILT program this afternoon.  For the first time in my 38 years, I have been selected for jury duty.  My luck I'll get seclected for a high profile case and be sequestered at the Homer Norton Motel on Highway 90 for 9 weeks. There is a Double M, Malt -n- Burger next door.  More french fries...great.

*This blog was posted without the benefit of spell-check* My apologies to my english teacher, Mrs. Gaye Bobo.

5:09 AM - 7 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

I’m A-OK! (so far)
Current mood: happy

Howdy All!

I wanted to tell you thanks all for the e-mails through MySpace, KILT.com and RowdyYates.com the past few days.  While I did not make much of a big deal out of it, it was no secret that last Friday I underwent weight loss surgery.

Those who have known me for any length of time know I have battled these ups an downs my entire life, and have had more up’s than downs the past 5 years or so.

So, after months of research, meeting patients, and a grueling process of selecting a Doctor, I had the Lap-Band done.

As of this morning I am still a bit sore, but feeling great about this life changing event, that I will be sharing with you, here; fairly frequently.

9:04 AM - 13 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment