Defining subtlety
Current mood: artistic

Something strange has been happening to me. . . around me. . . within me. . . for a couple of years, but unfortunately my sensibilities are oblivious to subtleties!

This brings me to the subject of this meandering --

I have been developing a story for many years and because of the delicate subject matter, I will continue developing for many more.  The source of my "writers block" is my lack of this subtlty that is necessary to the main character.  She says little, but makes enourmous impacts. 

Please help me by sharing some tid-bits towards defining this through behaviors: in yourself, in others, or through characters I might be aided by studying.

How has someone tricked you, but where you are left unsure of if it was really them?
Is there someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, but most others can't understand why?
How do you manipulate people you love "for their own good"?



THANKS!

4:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Dear YOU
Current mood: Acceptance

In all the words
that have been thought
to say

All the words
faith and hope needed
to say

Only curiosity remains

So. . .
               in the spirit of closure

All that there is left to mutter
will not be said
will not be heard

Because happiness
has been found
in the sound
of this true voice returning
to its natural state
telling this heart 
all is right in here

Certian sounds
silenced that strength

Thank you for removing then from my life.

10:11 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Anthum
Current mood: inspired

I believe
and don't believe
Faith
is an abstraction
a magial fariytale
the union of
idea and reality
melting into
an ever defining present.

I believe
there is no know
I don't believe
there is a know
and so
faith wages on
through its many checkpoints
missing them
if not there

Follow/lead
the white rabbit
through the looking glass
to the land
of know
where faith
has no word
for it is
them all.

9:36 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Mushrooms and Palms
Current mood: Heavy

Hooks?
Hooks
Hooks in my back
Upper
Lower
And ribs
Hooks in my shoulders
Hooks in my neck
Hooks in the base
Of my head

Darkness?
Darkness
Darkness around
Inside
Outside
And my head
Darkness to haunt
Darkness to hate
Darkness to push
And pull away

Save me?
Save me
Save me from the past
Them
Myself
And you
Save me from sleep
Save me from work
Save me from not
Letting go

7:10 PM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Something Like GHB
Current mood: awakened

Pleasantries
are not my cup of tea
They belong
in parlor rooms
with parlor tricks
and old ladies
playing bridge

Shallow sweetness
poisons my tea
making my teeth
gritty and weak
sickening my stomach
softening my spine

Placating
like sipping decaffeinated
lends an ear
to rationalization
somewhere between
anger and apathy

Doesn't make it
safe to drink

6:26 PM - 7 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

A STORY OF ETERNITY
Current mood: A longing to communicate

Before this body
Was here for me to call mine
Before that body
Was there for you to call yours
We sat together
And shared a love
Few have ever known

All this life
You have been beside me
There is nothing
I don't want you to see
Before this body I knew you
But today I don't know what to say

Where is it you are trying to go?
Do you even want
to know?
Is the man
you greet each day
A man you are proud to be?

Because that is life
There is no control
But still I look
back and wonder --
Is your weakness
A scar of my hands?

Your theif - Your liar
To you -- Better never
The pain of my anger
has never cut quite so deep.
And I need you now
to help me let it go.
I miss you my friend -
             - my brother

9:25 PM - 2 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

I Ain't No Fucking On-Star
Current mood: Free

Consistency
Has the only real power
over me

But in my line
there are few signs
that it will have
it's own presence

Take the time
to follow the drive
No questions--
you'll know the turn

Grading on a curve
No apples wanted
unless I learn
to farm an orchard

As my own pet
I will surprise
and refine
the cleanest power

This ain't coach
There's no parking test
Just get your
own fucking gas.

5:22 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

"To Wish" - published in the "Pennywise Press" 1999 (one of the best things to exit my brain)

I wish I had a love . . .
. . . to give all my passion
I wish I had a passion . . .
. . . to give all my talent
I wish I had a talent . . .
. . . to give all my dreams
I wish I had a dream . . .
. . . to give all my reality
I wish I had a reality . . .
. . . to give all my friends
I wish I had a friend . . .
. . . to give all my secrets

. . . I wish I didn't have secrets

9:53 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Zig Zag Zen: Buddhism and Psychedelics
Current mood: To live by

"There is no guarentee of choosing the awake route. It is only the vow to lean into the rawness of experience, without filter and without props, that we have to count on."

9:31 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment