Best Week Ever: October 10th

"No, she was licking her penis!""

If you get bored, go read old ones.

xo
sarah

10:33 PM - 2 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Week Ever: October 3rd

"I thought he would have chosen someone super hip to be the vice president like um…Kanye."

If you get bored, go read old ones.

xo
sarah

9:42 PM - 3 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Week Ever: September 26th

"Oh sorry I thought this was Google."

If you get bored. Go read old ones.

Happy weekend.

luv
sarah

5:28 PM - 89 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Week Ever: September 20th

"If i stopped writing weird things. You would stop reading this."

If you get bored. Go read old ones.

Happy weekend.

luv
sarah

7:08 PM - 89 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Week Ever: September 12th

"I just ran into your girlfriend. She thinks my name is Ikea."

If you get bored. Go read old ones.

Happy weekend.

luv
sarah

9:56 PM - 89 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Week Ever: September 5th

Yobeat is back. Best week ever is back with it. Go read all three plus years there.

Then peep a brand new one! They will be back weekly like in the olden days.

"I could probably Google LA and a photo of you would come up."

xo

sarah

7:53 PM - 89 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Come watch me be a judge at the Mr and Miss Williamsburg pageant Fri night!

Friday night at Supreme Trading is the annual Mr and Miss Williamsburg pageant. I am one of the "celebrity judges" along with Kesh and some other pseudo-famous hipster types. Should be a funny night. So come one and all.

If you are looking for something fun and weird to do Friday night...this is it!

1:30 AM - 89 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Week Ever: La and back to Brooklyn

"Let's spell everything with only consonants like Mstrkrft. We will help the recession by not having to buy vowels!"

-My boy Steven Shein makes this dope-ass jewelry. It's crazy laser etched poppy stuff. It's like every girl's favorite everything. Get into it. Click here to visit SHOP STEVEN SHEIN

-One morning towards the end of Coachella, I wake up to Pase loudly talking on the phone around 9 am. He apparently has been up the entire night doing drugs and around 8 am just starts drinking. They also apparently lost the rental car in the Coachella parking lot, the eving prior. So, he is pacing around the pool, drink in hand, on the phone with his mom. He later calls his dad. At some point his phone dies and he actually starts using Jason's. We go to leave at noon, Pase is forced to hang up with grandma so Jason can have his phone back.

-We are out at some party. I sorta feel someone looking at me. I look up and it's Wes. (We are not speaking.) I look back away, pretending not to see him. He then moves so he is standing right in front of me. I keep having the conversation I am having, pretending now that he is invisible. He then starts to fake throw water at me or some shit. Everyone got sorta awkward trying to figure out who to pay attention to. The night ends, he ends up walking to the car with all of us. I move so he's not walking next to me. I hear someone go, "What's up with Sarah not talking to Wes?" Sean goes, "Oh they got in a fight on the internet."

-Steve Aoki tries to convince me to blog on his fledging/lame blog he has going. I am telling him his blog blows and it basically has no hope. He thinks for a second, "You did that hot DJs list. You could do an ugly DJ list!" I hope he is kidding. He is not. I play the game and list the most unattractive DJs in the game, while eating my salad. He adds, "You can even add me. Put me on the list." I inform him I am not actually making any list of the sorts. He is not listening. He is staring off into space and thinking of more stupid ideas. "He" comes back to the table and announces, "Wait Sarah I take that back. Don't put me on that list." I roll my eyes, give him a thumbs up, and keep eating. (If you have any interest in blogging on the Dimmak blog, email me sarah@missbehavemag.com with subject Steve Aoki or Dimmak or something similar.)

-Trevor drops me off at the airport. I walk over to the Virgin counter. They ask me where I am going. I quickly reply, "Lax." The lady at the counter stares blankly at me. I stare equally as confused back at her. She rephrases the where are you going question hoping I will understand it better. I still have no idea. I take my sunglasses off to look at the board above her with the list of flights. I go, "Wait, what are my choices?" She looks slightly frightened. Then I see JFK on the board above. I yell, "How about New York?" She awkwardly types in my info, hands me a boarding pass, and ushers me away.

-I agree to drive my roommate Steve to the airport one afternoon. I am hungover. There is traffic. I want to talk on the phone while driving hungover. He is telling me it is illegal. At some stoplight, he offers to drive and we switch places. I thank god for this because we sit in stop and go traffic the whole ride. Once we arrive, I realize I am going to have to drive home. I whine, "What if I just leave the car here? I add, "I am going to call someone and ask them to pick me up at the airport."

-Me and Dave are talking about who knows what, one afternoon. I begin spelling things minus vowels while communicating in type. He is hungover and becomes confused. I add, "Let's spell everything with only consonants like Mstrkrft. We will help the recession by not having to buy vowels!"

-I end up at the ER last weekend. Don't ask. I end up at another medical facility two days later with a completely different diagnosis. I inform Nikki over Ichat that I am probably going to die due to the shitty medical care the uninsured receive in this country. I tell her that I am going to sacrifice myself to prove how much our Healthcare system blows. I add, "I am gonna go down a cross between Kurt Cobain and Ghandi."

-While sick last weekend, I watch a bunch of dumb movies just to distract myself from how miserable I am. I somehow ended up watching "I Robot" and "I Legend" in a row. I presumed the two were related, like one was the sequel to the other. I don't think, but am still not entirely sure this was the case. If so I hope the third installment will simply be called "I Will Smith."

-The uber-amazing magazine that employs me also know as Missbehave has some party laced with fun last Thursday night. I walk in three hours late, trying to quickly blend in like I had been there the entire evening. I head straight to the bar. I hear my name, turn around, and see Bronques of Last Night's Party fame. He takes a photo. We hug. He backs me up and says, "Let's get a full frontal." He then waves his hands in the air and announces, "I have to be careful how I phrase things with you. God knows what you would have just done."

-I weigh myself approximately five times a day. I am not sure why. Even though I am aware I have gained ten pounds, that one pound lost at any point in the day gives me the will to keep living. I wake up the other morning, get on the scale and it flashes low battery at me. I flip it open and discover it takes a 9 volt battery. The only place in my apartment I am going to find a 9 volt battery is in the smoke detector. I debate about the morality involved in this move. I think of my roommates lives for a hot minute. I then remove the smoke detector's battery and put it in my scale.

-I was just talking to Stuart on Ichat for a while. I wrote like three things at once and then added, "If I am annoying you, just ignore me." I haven't heard from him since.

-Go read Missbehavemag.com. It's an awesome quarterly print mag. But, we blog hourly all day everyday. It's really funny. At least we think it's really funny.

1:14 PM - 89 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Steven Shein Jewelry is Dope! Girls U need this! TRUST!

Click here to visit SHOP STEVEN SHEIN

Click here to visit SHOP STEVEN SHEIN

Click here to visit SHOP STEVEN SHEIN

Click here to visit SHOP STEVEN SHEIN

Click here to visit SHOP STEVEN SHEIN

Click here to visit SHOP STEVEN SHEIN

8:04 PM - 89 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Week Ever: May 2nd Coachella/LA edition

"If I had a dime for every time I left my wallet in Steve Aoki's car..."

-I have gained some weight in the past six months. I created a goal of wanting to weigh 140 pounds before i went to LA. Basically I lived off pretzels and a can of chocolate frosting for the two weeks prior. While some of my friends were doubting said diet technique, I left for the airport at 141.

-I am on the phone with Donavon enlisting him to retrieve me from LAX. I start talking about how I am supposed to stay in LA, to go to Coachella with Sky the following day. When you do not have a car, you are sort of forced to go where people take you. He asks, "Where does she live?" I reply, "She lives with her mom...so like where ever families live." Donavon waited for more, then added, "In houses maybe?" I added, "Or the valley?"

-I end up in Costa Mesa at Detroit Bar Thursday night. I run into Julie who has been drinking and is being really funny. Greg from Acid Girls starts to walk by. She she grabs him, pulls him over, and goes, "Look Sarah It's Greg!" I nod starting to explain we had already seen each other that evening. She stops me and goes, "Yeah but last time you were in LA he wasn't famous. Greg is famous now." I started laughing and Greg was awkwardly released from Julie's grasp.

-We are walking into the Flaunt party one of the evenings at Coachella. Everyone seems to know the dude doing the list and says "hi" to him. They start to introduce me to him. The kid interrupts, "We sort of know each other. We used to talk on BBM and then one day you randomly deleted me. Everyone with me looks at me waiting for me to say something. I just smile and go, "Sounds about right!"

-Once entering the party I run into Dana, then Dayna and we sit in some awkward spot like right in front of the bar. It was really stressing out the drunken drink needers. Once we realized it was upsetting so many people we stayed put. So I see Chanelle walk in a good distance away from us and start screaming her name. The Dan(y)as yell too. She makes it our way and joins us on the ground. We start to sort of catch up. She is asking me how I like New York. I am still unsure. She adds, "You seem so much happier!" I ask how exactly. She goes, "Well, you look so much happier in your Myspace photos."

-I look up and see some dude juggling little orbs of light. I point and go, "Omg look at the dude juggling Blackberries!" Someone corrects me that he is juggling glow-sticks. I nod, disappointed.

-Oh FYI, i never went to actual Coachella once. This is the second year this has occurred.

-Gina mentions that when we return to LA, James is Djing Monday night at the Standard. I remark, "I thought he didn't come out here?" I am informed by one of the boys, "Sarah, you can still live in LA and not go to Coachella."

-Jason was on the phone trying to get the whole Ed Banger Cinespace Tuesday night thing set up and ready to go. They realize Adam is not on the flyer and are trying to fix the matter. He sort of wonders if they can play it off like Adam was the special guest. I go, "What, I thought I was the special guest?"

-I walk into Beauty Bar and towards the back to use the ATM, Monday evening. Franki Chan stops me and asks me to stay put for a second. He then turns off the music, pulls out a megaphone, and announces, "Sarah Morrison is here." Now everyone in the bar is staring at me and party photographers are flashing cameras for my reaction. I stand there awkwardly waving. He then adds, "She will be standing here all night to take photos with you. Come on over, two dollars for a photo with Sarah Morrison!" I smile sort nervous and then run to the bathroom.

-I am re-entering Beauty Bar after smoking a cigarette. A bunch of girls are showing there Ids to the door guy and therefore entering the bar. Then one girl randomly stops, pauses, and goes, "Are you the door guy?" I looked up at him and said, "Please tell her no."

-In the bathroom I encounter Jessica fixing her hair in the bathroom mirror, and Gina. I realize I am sort of just looking into the mirror at Jess' face and speaking to her that way. All of a sudden I announce, "It's like I am talking to you through the mirror!" Gina announces, "You are like the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz, or something."

-I go on a date with Steve Aoki, well he takes me out to lunch. He is asking me what I did the evening prior. I inform him we were at Beauty Bar. He asks me who was there. I start, "Me, Trevor, Caesar, Gina, Dan, Johnny..." He stops me, "Not like you guys...like actual Djs."

-I meet up with Will Tee Yang to take photos. He starts telling me about how one of his friends was in Scotland and ran into one of my friends from high school's little sister, who lives there. He says homeboy called him in disbelief that he met girls in Scotland who knew me. I go, "I wonder how that conversation started?" I add, "Oh hey, are you from America? So, do you know Sarah Morrison?"

-I get really drunk and therefore annoying at Cinespace. Dan is unable to get me to exit the building. He leaves me there as punishment. I am relaying the story to Jared today. I add, "But i couldn't actually find my way to the after-party because I had left my wallet in Steve Aoki's car, earlier in the day. So, Trevor had to come get me." Jared replies, "If I had a dime for every time I left my wallet in Steve Aoki's car..."

-I might start doing these again since I included approximately ten percent of what actually occurred on my trip to LA. Oh and if i didn't get to see you while out there, I am sorry. If i only saw you when I was drunk at the Ed Banger party, I am sorry. If you are Keith and are mad I didn't have a car to get places you were at, I am sorry. If you are Danny Masterson and had to watch my purse all Tuesday night, I am sorry. Oh and Dan, I am sorry.

Gina, Lax thanks for letting me sleep on your couch. Dan and Jason thanks for not yelling at me. Pase thanks for the memories. Steve Aoki thanks for never coming back to the house we stayed at and for the date.

xo sarah

8:39 PM - 89 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment