I don’t have a clever name for this blog.
Current mood: complacent
I had a really, really great. quiet weekend : )
I went to the beach for the first time all summer yesterday. I know it's a terrible excuse, but I just haven't had the time to go. I've been working most morning from 7AM-12PM. By the time I get back from work and change I wont make it to the shore until at least 2. Mom and I left early to this great beach in Avon, NJ we always go to. It's the only beach I like because there's really no boardwalk which means mostly adults, and it's a pretty quiet place to relax. Even with my umbrella (ella, ella ..eh eh!) I managed to burn my left shin to a crisp. I've got this really strange burn that will leave a lovely mark on my overly pale skin. Does anyone know how to fade out sunburn so it doesn't leave a massive dark blotch on my leg? Vaseline works on the face to lighten up sunburn but it's never worked anywhere else for me.
After the beach I drove up the parkway to Jarv's house for a quiet weekend. We fell asleep pretty early last night, and now we have this routine on Sundays. We wake up, eat lunch, play with the cat and kinda just chill for the rest of the day. Very relaxing. Sitting around on Sundays used to drive me insane but I really enjoy it when the kitty behaves and naps while I spend some time with Jarv. In hind sight I wish we had gone down to the shore a few times in our Sunday laziness.
NIN is on Wednesday ..who's going?!!! This will be my first live NIN experience, can you believe it?!
School also starts Wednesday morning. I've got Geology 101 at 8AM. BAH!! I'm so glad school's right up the block. I'm going in, and I am coming right back home to pass out before I have to leave for Jersey. I'm taking 18 credits again (one academic class, the rest are all music). I start my second job in a couple of weeks. I can already tell that I'm going to have no life until January!!
I’ll be performing in an off Broadway show .....!
Current mood: curious
I am officially a working musician.
My first job will be Friday, September 12th through Sunday, September 14th at a theatre in Times Square. I'll be playing the guitar and possibly singing in my first real public performance. More information to come as this is VERY last minute and extremely unorganized. I haven't even seen the music I'm playing yet!
A day in the life of a migraineaur.
Current mood: optimistic
I probably should not be discussing the fact that I am indeed a lab rat for a study on Zomitriptan and Eletrptan medications. Two very popular drugs on the market for migraineurs like myself. I've been given a stack of papers to complete (and eventually I will be paid for this!) each and every time I have a headache and take a certain medication. Tonight marked my first journal entry for the study and I found the process quite amusing.
(Why would my headache severity be a 0? That makes no sense, whatsoever!)
I look back on the laundry list of medications I've taken over the past few years for my depression and it is staggering. I've been on anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, you name it and I've tried it. I can not begin to fathom the great big pile of study assessments on each drug and I wonder what each form looked like. My overall dissatisfaction with each medication makes me curious if and when I will see some sort of result with my migraines. I HATED taking the drugs my old psychiatrists (err, drug dealers) handed to me. I have faith in my headache specialist that we're gonna nip this in the bud ..
I'm really in awe of what I am able to do pertaining to school, when I fully apply myself. If I am focused, confident in the subject matter and just generally enjoy the course I will do well, regardless of the difficulty of the work. I'm currently enrolled in two summer courses at my school: one I need for my major (and isn't be offered again until after my anticipated graduation), and the other I took simply because I would need to take it at some point any way, and the professor's ratings were out of this world on ratemyprofessor.
So the deal is that these two classes are about three hours each, Monday thru Thursday. There's 15 days of class and within that 15 days, imagine three books for my English class (two novels, one is a commentary thing ..I don't know what the technical word for this is!), and the entire history of Jazz for the other class. I LOVE my English class. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a class this much. The professor is blunt and so very passionate about the subject matter. He's a liberal nut job/hippy in one sense, but an extremely learned individual at the same time. I'm always the one in my classes to raise my hand (of course!) but I like that other people in this class challenge the subject matter and the fact that I can challenge my professor on several topics and not feel punished for doing so. There's this general sense in my entire college education that if one is to challenge the professor there is to be some sort of penalty involved, and I've never understood that concept. Isn't the whole point of education to be challenged?
My midterm was a take home paper on Goethe's Faust that was due Saturday morning. I submitted it via e-mail first thing Thursday evening, and it took me a good three hours to process the entire thing. It was tricky but I managed to pull through it. My professor handed back the papers this afternoon. When he handed me my paper of course I was cringing thinking "Oh man. I know I rocked this shit but watch; I probably fucked up because I feel so overconfident. Should have taken an extra day to write that paper!" He just smirked at me and I rushed to open to the last page.
I got an A. My first A ever on a college level English paper. I'm enthralled.
I felt so incredibly defeated this year because my grades were deplorable. I am capable of A's in my academic classes, yet I can not, for the life of me figure out my music classes any more. The passion is slowly dying out of me. Terrible to say seeing that my degree will be in music but, my heart and soul loves to write. I love history. I love poetry. I don't think I love music the way I once did.
This touched me.
I know it's a bit cheesy to have uploaded that. But seriously, you've no idea what a boost this has given me. Even if my scholarship isn't renewed because of the crappy grades I received for the spring, I will always have this to remind me I am capable of more than what my music professors seem to give me credit for! It's a big fuck you to the professor that told me to finish my music degree outside of CSI.
Seven more days of classes to go, and I am DETERMINED to do just as well or better!
time in between was just a dream.
Current mood: nostalgic
The way you're bathed in light Reminds me of that night God layed me down into your rose Garden of trust And I was swept away With nothing left to say Some helpless fool yet I was lost In a swoon of peace You're all I need to find. So when the time is right. Come to me sweetly, come to me. Come to me.
Love will lead us, alright Love will lead us, she will lead us Can you hear the dolphin's cry? See the road rise up to meet us It's in the air we breathe tonight Love will lead us, she will lead us
Oh yeah we'll meet again, It's like we never left Time in between was just a dream Did we leave this place? This crazy fog surrounds me You wrap your legs around me All i can do to try and breathe Let me breathe So that I So we can go together
Love will lead us, alright Love will lead us, she will lead us Can you hear the dolphin's cry? See the road rise up to meet us It's in the air we breathe tonight Love will lead us, she will lead us
Life is like a shooting star It don't matter who you are If you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time We are lost 'till we are found This phoenix rises up from the ground And all these wars are over
Come to me
Love will lead us, alright Love will lead us, she will lead us Can you hear the dolphin's cryin'? See the road rise up to meet us It..s in the air we breathe tonight Love will lead us, she will lead us
Life is like a shooting star It don't matter who you are If you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time We are lost 'till we are found This phoenix rises up from the ground And all these wars are over, over, over, over
Love will lead us, alright Love will lead us, she will lead us Can you hear the dolphin's cry? See the road rise up, to meet us It's in the air we breathe tonight Love will lead us, she will lead us Love will lead us, alright Oh yeah Love will lead us, she will lead us Love will lead us, alright
You are the promised kiss of springtime That makes the lonely winter seem long. You are the breathless hush of evening That trembles on the brink of a lovely song. You are the angel glow that lights a star, The dearest things I know are what you are. Some day my happy arms will hold you, And some day I'll know that moment divine, When all the things you are, are mine!
I'm going to take my time I have all the time in the world To make you mine It is written in the stars above The gods decree You'll be right here by my side Right next to me You can run, but you cannot hide Don't say you want me Don't say you need me Don't say you love me It's understood Don't say you're happy Out there without me I know you can't be 'Cause it's no good I'll be fine I'll be waiting patiently Till you see the signs And come running to my open arms When will you realise Do we have to wait till our worlds collide Open up your eyes You can't turn back the tide Don't say you want me Don't say you need me Don't say you love me It's understood Don't say you're happy Out there without me I know you can't be 'Cause it's no good I'm going to take my time I have all the time in the world To make you mine It is written in the stars above Don't say you want me Don't say you need me Don't say you love me It's understood Don't say you're happy Out there without me I know you can't be 'Cause it's no good
Currently
listening
:
Ultra
By
Depeche Mode
Release date: 1997-04-15
Audition Update / Tax Refund
Current mood: content
The first song went REALLY well. The second song my professors let me use my music. Not such a great thing as I should have memorized the German, but it went pretty well.
Let's cross our fingers that I made in into the recital ..which is Tuesday, May 13th at 7:30PM :-)
Kudos to the US government for the whole dollar that I received back this year. I tip my hat to you fuckholes.
I know I should be rehearsing for my recital audition tomorrow, but I am so nervously excited right now. I can not sit still. I have to memorize A LOT of German.
Please send me all of your positive mojo tomorrow. I'm gonna need it!
I don't want to get into the whole religion issue because honestly I just don't have it in me to do so, but come on! Are YOU kidding me???
I am so sick of Jesus. I am disgusted that these "religious" people don't even know what Passover is. You would have NO Jesus were it not for Passover. I am tired that people who claim to be so holy are the most hateful people on this planet. Christians (I am including Catholics in this equation), how can you practice your religion when you don't even know the foundations of your beliefs. You feel so righteous that you can tell me I am blasphemous and condemn me to hell?
For once, I fucking agree with Oprah! Right on, sister!
complacent
curious
anxious
loved
optimistic
accomplished
amused
nostalgic
content
electric