You can give ’em what you want and you can get up and go.
My little sister asked me why I'd broken up with my last boyfriend, and since I didn't know how to explain it to a twelve year old, I just said it was because he wouldn't marry me. He did admit if it were all or nothing and he had to marry me "today", he wouldn't. He felt like we were too much of a gamble.
But answering her question that way, I felt like someone masquerading as an adult. As if it's something I even think about. I don't need someone to marry me. I only need to be able to trust them. I know for some people, it's the same thing..
For the record, I wouldn't have married him today, either.
From a small Pacific NW island, Vanessa is unaccustomed to skin tones that aren't white.
Vanessa: Did you hear they're bringing 90210 back? Vanessa: I can't stand it. Jules: Wait, a NEW 90210? Vanessa: Yes! Vanessa: With a black person in the cast. Jules: Oh no. No wonder you're outraged.
Nobody says "fuck" with more panache than Damian Kulash.
And he is BLAZING hot.
Don't ask me how I've been Don't sit there and play just so frank, so straight, so candid So thoughtful, so gracious, so sound, so even-handed And don't be so damn benign and don't waste my fucking time Don't ask me, don't ask me, don't ask me, ask me, ask me how I've been
It feels that at the same time they are tuning out (listening to mp3 players, talking on cell phones even while conducting their business with other human beings), people are letting their sense of personal space be lost or diminished. Getting jammed into places where you can't possibly observe "personal space" - airports, planes, and the subway come to mind - may help to numb it. I feel like it happens more and more, in places where there's no shortage of space, that I feel compelled to say to strangers, "Please don't stand so close to me." And not in the same delightfully naughty manner that Sting meant it.
Dear Strangers,
Maybe you're in a rush and have forgotten to be polite. But just because you've found a way to stop paying attention, thanks to the distance that your ipod allows you from daily life, does not mean *I* have not noticed that you are half an inch away from bumping into me. If we are not friends, if we are not lovers, you do not have permission to reach that sort of proximity.
Forced familiarity with your physical being is not appreciated. I assume that strangers want to feel, smell, and hear as little of me as possible, and you may be assured I feel the same of you.
So, my brother and I have been aware for some time that we have a lot in common with people diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. But we've largely focused on the fact that it is pronounced "Assburgers" and really paid little attention to the particulars, despite the fact that upon hearing an NPR program profiling individuals with AS, our mother became convinced that I have it. But I think I'm missing the repetitive speech or behaviors that are symptomatic of AS, although I think my older brother *does* have them. You can't even talk to him without at least one of his responses amounting to quoting one of his favorite movies. And he has the requisite "narrow" obsessive childhood interest in trains. My childhood obsession was horses. (I recall being teased at a slumber party for ignoring my friends in favor of reading a book titled "Stable Management." It was like the tenth book in a series, of which I read all.) Both are something we have in common with Asperger's children.
Anyway, to get to the point, I found these diagnostic criteria to be of interest:
(1) marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction
Do I have impairment in the use of nonverbal behaviors? I would say NO but others say YES.
(3) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
Hahaha. Um, yes, apparently. I don't deny this. I don't know WHY it takes a lot for me to "share" certain things, but it does. So people find out I like __ or I've __, and they want to hit me because they don't understand why I never mentioned it before.
(4) lack of social or emotional reciprocity
Possibly? I do a lot of things where people expect some other response. Like they expect a hug, and I just walk away. It's not that I don't reciprocate feelings, or that I'm a robot. I like people very much, and I am understandably happy when they like me. But, and I don't know if this is the same thing, I do have trouble with comprehending subtleties. If you reach your arms out, then yes, I understand that you are going to hug me. However, I miss more subtle communication entirely. It pisses people off because they assume I am ignoring their wishes or expectations.
When the Sultry Grammarian was a pouty sprite of the third grade.
In the third grade, our music teacher taught us this song, and we would all sing it together. And no one seemed to think anything of this.
You'd think I'm making this up, but no.
"My girl's a corker, she's a New Yorker I buy her everything to keep her in style She wears silk underwear, I wear my last year's pair Hey boys, that's where my money goes
That's where my money goes, to buy my baby clothes I buy her everything to keep her in style
She's got a pair of legs, just like two whiskey kegs And when they knock together, oh what a sound She's got a pair of hips, just like two battle ships Hey boys, that's where my money goes
That's where my money goes, to buy my baby clothes I buy her everything to keep her in style
She's got a pair of eyes, just like two custard pies And when she looks at me, I sure get a thrill She's got a pair of lips, just like potato chips Hey boys, that's where my money goes"
"I really like to eat hot dogs. If any of you people disagree, I loathe you. I despise you. Not only that, but I also despise all your loved ones. I want to see them torn to pieces by wild dogs. If I ever meet you in person, I'll smash your brains in with a fucking bat. Then we'll see who doesn't like hot dogs." - Christopher Walken
