Read the FIRST SCENE of the movie RIGHT HERE!!!
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

EXT- RESTAURANT- NIGHT
In front of an elaborately decorated, fine-dining restaurant, VALETS stand. A limo pulls up, accompanied by THUMPING, muffled music.
The DRIVER parks at the front entrance and steps out of the limo. In the brief period his door is opened, very LOUD, clear, '80s-styled' heavy metal music blares from inside the limo. The driver walks around the vehicle and opens one of the side doors.
As the door opens, some beer bottles fall out, smoke oozes out, the LOUD music is heard again. The valets look on intently.
INT- RESTAURANT LOBBY- NIGHT
The muffled sounds of the HEAVY METAL music clash with the light MUSIC of the restaurant.
The Maitre D, CHESTER, behind a podium, squints his eyes, looking past the glass front doors into the smoky limo.
EXT- RESTAURANT- NIGHT
With the HEAVY METAL music blasting clearly, out of the opened door, through thick smoke, comes a leather boot, littered with chains and spikes, stomping solidly onto the ground.
Following the boot comes a huge black Devilock haircut, emerging into the clear air. Following the head of hair, an entire lanky frame emerges, covered in ripped flourescent rags, chains and spandex and skulls.
This person, MACHO UNDEROOS, in his 20s, literally stands tall, and a confident smile can be distinguished across his stark white, gothic painted face. He tilts his head back and makes a wide, cool neck acting like a badass as we hear the emotional music clearly.
Along with the loud music and the smoke, this man has a powerful aura surrounding him that leaves all of the surrounding valets and the waiter from inside the restaurant dumbfounded in curiosity and anticipation.
Another character, BIG RED AXL, also appearing to be in his 20s, emerges from the smoky car, in the same styled attire as the first but purely glam rock styled. He emerges head first with a bushy head of long, hair-sprayed, red hair.
After briefly looking around, he is happy with his surroundings, as he puts on a 'Robert Deniro' facial expression, slowly nodding his head up and down in approval.
One more young, heavy metal dressed, long-haired character, SKINNY THUNDER emerges from the car.
The three characters, taking their time, begin walking up the red carpet to the front lobby.
Two large security guards emerge from the limo (SECURITY GUARD 1 is holding a smoke maker, which has been causing all of the smoke, and SECURITY GUARD 2 is coughing).
SECURITY 2
(coughing)
Will you leave that thing in the car!
Security #1 throws the smoke-maker back in the car.
INT- RESTAURANT LOBBY- NIGHT
Light JAZZ MUSIC is heard again. SASHA, an attractive, young waitress with big boobs and an annoying voice, walks passed the front of the restaurant with a tray. She notices that CHESTER, behind the podium, is staring straight ahead, and she turns to see what he is looking at. Seeing the 'rock-stars' walking toward the front of the restaurant, Sasha becomes ecstatic.
SASHA
No way! It's Ripped Pink
Pantyhose!
CHESTER
Who ripped their pantyhose?
SASHA
The band- Ripped Pink Pantyhose!
Don't you watch TV? They're
the featured band at the Shloz fest downtown tonight, and I can't believe they're here! I don't believe this! They're all there:
(we see the band members as she names them)
Macho Underoos, Big Red Axl, and Skinny Thunder!
CHESTER
We'll have to give them our best table.
SASHA
Oh, no doubt. We should be
honored by these guys. I
can't believe it. They're
right there, walking toward
me right now!
Macho Underoos walks through the front door. Sasha stops and begins to walk toward him. Behind Macho Underoos, Big Red Axl, Skinny Thunder and the 2 Security Guards enter the lobby.
Sasha seductively confronts Big Red Axl.
SASHA (CONT'D) (cont'd)
Wow, Macho Underoos. I can't believe it's really you! I'm your
biggest fan.
MACHO UNDEROOS
Oh, really? Well, if you're
a big 'fan,' then maybe I'll
let you give me a nice long
blow tonight.
Sasha licks her lips sexy-like.
SECURITY 1
Hee, hee, hee, hee!
Macho Underoos turns and smacks Security 1 in the face, quieting him.
MACHO UNDEROOS
Now, what do we do to get a table around here?
CHESTER
That's where I come in, sir.
(to Sasha)
Run along, now.
MACHO UNDEROOS
(to Sasha)
I'll see you later tonight, huh?
SASHA
You know it.
Sasha winks at him seductively.
MACHO UNDEROOS
That's right. I'm the man.
CHESTER
You know, normally we have a
waiting list. But for rock
stars like yourself, Mr. Underoos, I'm sure we can make an exception. Oh, and don't let my appearance deceive you- I'm hip with the new trends. I watch you on TV all the time.
Macho, Big Red Axl and other band members look at each other.
MACHO UNDEROOS
Oh, really? Well, I'm flattered.
SKNY THNDR
Hey, man, are we gonna get
some food, or what?
CHESTER
Certainly. Follow me.
The band and security follow Chester.
INT. RESTAURANT- NIGHT
They walk into a dimly lit, large, crowded room, filled with formally dressed people, approximately aged 20-75, who are sitting down at tables, eating. A jazz trio are playing CHEESY LIGHT JAZZ music on a small side stage.
They follow Chester to a nice corner table. All around them, other, more formally dressed people are staring and whispering.
CHESTER
Okay, gentlemen, my name's
Chester, and I'll be checking
periodically to see if you
guys are okay. If you need
anything at all, just call me.
MACHO UNDEROOS
Great. Thanks Chester.
CHESTER
Sure thing. Back in a flash.
Chester leaves.
MACHO UNDEROOS
Okay, who's gonna be the first
to get on the mic?
SKNY THNDR
I'm not doing any of this shit, man.
MACHO UNDEROOS
All right, I'll get on the mic.
But who's gonna play that big
stand-up bass?
BIG RED AXL
Me!
Macho smacks his forehead a few times, then flexes his face muscles hard as he shakes his fists.
BIG RED AXL (cont'd)
(continuing)
I'm psyched! I'm ready!
SKINNY THUNDER
Yeah, but how are you going to
convince that jazz band to let
us get up there?
MACHO UNDEROOS
Dude, I've got Chester eating
out of my hand. Watch this.
He flags down Chester and Chester comes running.
CHESTER
Yes, sir?
MACHO
Do you think we could get up
on the stage and play a quick
song?
CHESTER
Uhhm. . .
MACHO
Don't worry my friend- nothing
heavy. We're professional
musicians here. We know when to
keep it soft and when to play
hard. We'll just keep it light
and jazzy, okay.
CHESTER
(hesitantly)
Well... I...
Chester looks into Macho's eyes for a moment. Macho's eyes seem to almost turn red for a moment. Chester seems tranced.
CHESTER (cont'd)
...I would be no less than honored if you would do that sir.
MACHO
Great! Hey, it looks like
they're wrapping up a song
right now. I'll go tell them
we're going to play.

Macho hops up and runs over to the side stage where the musicians are finishing up a song and begins talking with them.
Meanwhile, SASHA is standing nearby, talking to another 2 WAITRESSES, hot young girls.
SASHA
They're going to play a song!
This is awesome!
Macho runs back to the table, where Chester is still standing, somewhat shocked.
CHESTER
If you're going to do this,
you have to keep the volume
down.
Macho pats Chester on the back.
MACHO
Oh, without a doubt
Chester. We'll keep it down
at first. Right Big Red Axl?
BIG RED AXL
Without a doubt.
CHESTER
At first? Well, the man knows what he's talking about.
Macho ignores Chester and addresses Skinny Thunder.
MACHO
Let's go. Come on!
Macho finishes a glass of wine and gets up.
The two other band members walk over to the jazz musicians.
CHESTER
Wait! (to himself) Oh, shit.
The Jazz musicians take a seat, and the Heavy Metal band gets ready to play. Macho holds a portable microphone.
MACHO
Hello ladies and gentlemen.
The Restaurant people look on in silence. Skinny Thunder plays a steady groove on the stand-up bass. Big Red begins playing some guitar. The two have microphones mounted in front of them for when they sing CHORUS.
MACHO (OVER MIC) (cont'd)
(continuing)
Allright, this song's about
how I used to be a homosexual,
but the devil saved me.
(singing)
I felt a tremor. . .
running down my spine. . . I
turned around to see what it
was, and it was a friend of
mine. He was the Devil. . .
He was lean and mean. . .
And I used to be attracted
to men who were skinny like a
string bean.
He picks up a string bean from a woman's plate and throws it.
MACHO
(continuing)
So I said to the Devil. . .
"You're lookin' pretty hot
tonight. . ." And he said,
"I know I am, I'm the mother
fucking devil."
The people in the restaurant look at each other, shocked and confused.
MACHO
(continuing)
So I asked what he was doing
there. . . in the middle of
my kitchen. . . He asked me
if it was hard being gay. I
said "why, no, it's pretty
bitchin'.
Sasha looks on in amusement with the other 2 WAITRESSES.
Chester looks on in horror.
MACHO (cont'd)
But the Devil wasn't happy. . .
He said, "This world has too
many gays..." He told me
that he could cast a spell to
change my sodomous ways.
So he made me an offer. . .
He said he'd make me famous.
But in return, I'd have to
give up my craving for anus.
Macho begins running around the restaurant, from table to table, singing directly to the guests. Chester tries to unplug the musical equipment, but the bouncers stop him. Chester tries to chase down Macho, following him through the restaurant, tripping on chairs and making a mess wherever he goes.
The song changes to a bridge.
MACHO (cont'd)
(continuing)
So we're here today, and when
you see us you may say. . .
Those women are pretty ugly,
No, wait, they're just gays.
But like I told you in the
story, I assure you we like
girls, and occasionally,
small, woodland creatures,
like rabbits and squirrels.
Chester runs out of the room, talking to some other waiters, apparently with plans.
MACHO
(continuing)
But, hey, don't get us wrong.
We're not really into
squirrels . . . just thought
I'd spice up the song, for all
you boys and girls.
But I really love to rock,
making music with my friends.
We used to be gay, but now
we've made amends. Well, the
Devil, that day, he cast a
magic spell. We're really
famous now, but soon we'll
burn in hell.
INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN- NIGHT
CHESTER is with a WAITER, standing in front of a circuit breaker box, fingering through different switches.
CHESTER
Which one is it?
WAITER
I'm not sure. I thought it
was these, but it may be these.
CHESTER
Well, we'll both be fired if
we don't shut them down. So
pick one.
WAITER
All right. If you say so.

INT. RESTAURANT- EATING AREA
MEANWHILE, the band members are talking to the three waitresses:
SKNY THUNDER
Let's go, alright? You want to get out of this dump and take off with us, so we can really party?
WAITRESS
Hell yeah!
The WAITRESSES nod 'yes.'
BIG RED AXL
(singing still)
When the devil made the deal,
I thought I'd be cured
quick. But it took a few days,
before I stopped craving di-

In mid-sentence, all of the lights in the restaurant go out.
EXT. RESTAURANT
THE BAND members and SECURITY guards run out of the front doors. The 2 WAITRESSES and SASHA follow, ecstatic.
Big Red Axl smashes an expensive champagne bottle against an outside wall:
BIG RED
Wooo!
Chester comes running out.
CHESTER
Where are you girls going? There's a lot of work to be done here tonight.
SASHA
I quit!
WAITRESSES
Yeah, so do I... and me!!
MACHO
Yeah, eat that!
BIG RED AXL
Wooow!
The VALETS look at the band members, not knowing how to react. The band and security guards get into the awaiting limo, and the limo speeds off.
INT. LIMO
They are all LAUGHING!
WAITRESS #2
That was AWESOME!!!
Sasha french kisses Macho. The other waitresses follow and begin frenching the guys.
Suddenly, Macho takes off his wig! Sasha laughs at first.
MACHO
Oh girls, I have something to tell you. We're not Ripped Pink Pantyhose. We allured you into the car tonight. This whole thing was a set up, and you fell for it!!
WAITRESS
What the fuck? You mean I quit my job for this shit??!!!! What the fuck??
Sasha looks scared.
SASHA
What the fuck is this??
Macho exposes his fangs and HISSES, then jumps forward and takes a big bite into the girl's breast and nearly tears it off through her clothes as she SCREAMS!!!!
The driver LAUGHS, his face now a big beastly head of evil, part man, part beast, as he turns the volume of the STEREO UP loud playing loud, gothic-like vampire music. He cocks his head back exposing FANGS as he laughs.
In the back seat there is a terrible feeding frenzy as the girls are bitten into and fed upon.
Macho, really named LOGAN, fueled by excited adrenaline, jumps up and stands through the sunroof of the speeding limo, beginning to SING ALONG loud with the vampire song that plays on the stereo as he eats some flesh.
The limo speeds off into the night.

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