No longer occupied.
Current mood: determined
Category: Writing and Poetry

Hey yall , well some of you may or may not know. As i child i was abused by my step father in many ways id rather not go into detail about. Everyday i still  think of the things he said and for the longest time ive let them control me and my thoughts. For 22 years his shadow has casted darkness upon me. Its time for me to let go.

12:22 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Black & White
Current mood: sad
Category: Writing and Poetry

Its been forever since I've blogged I've had allot going on. I'm trying to get back in the habit of blogging so here goes. This poem is about a friend that is refusing to talk to me for a number of reasons mostly childish. All I want is to talk it through but she wants nothing to do with that so instead I write it down and hope someone hears.

Black & White

I hold back the anger.
I hold back the resentment.
I hold back the tears.
There is nothing I can say,
there's nothing I can do,
to convince you otherwise.
When all you can see is Black & White.
All the things I could say your ego would take care of.
No matter what I do your to stubborn to admit.
We are not the ones to suffer the children do that for us.
Yet still were the ones that need to grow up the most.
Best friends stick it out till the end. I thought that's what we are.
They say time heals all .
 I close my eyes to pray that this time will heal our decade of friendship

Currently listening : Chillout 04 By Various Artists Release date: 2003-09-30

1:57 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

A bus ride.
Category: Writing and Poetry

Adventures of the mind

I saw a man today,

He looked like a wet paper bag, wrinkles I had never seen before.

Long mop like hair pulled back tight as if he was holding on to something he lost long ago.

In a tattered plastic bag he carried 9 lives.

Never would have guessed someone so warmed over by death would have life to give.

I imagined him sitting at home curled up with his last living love.

Sifting through pictures of times lost in the heartbreak of life.

So much to appreciate in the simplicities of life.

 Yet still will worry about being late to work, breaking a nail ,dropping calls, traffic on 1-10 congesting our thoughts and sanctity of our hearts.

We let these things in, we let these things occupy us, yet we have the power to ignore and push away these shadows.

If strength of one could be given here it lye's in me.

Currently listening : Chillout 2002: The Ultimate Chillout By Various Artists Release date: 07 May, 2002

9:11 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Bettter to love then never love at all.
Current mood: worried
Category: Writing and Poetry

Currently listening : Back to Mine By Everything but the Girl Release date: 29 May, 2001

3:28 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I've been down
Current mood: melancholy
Category: Writing and Poetry

Hey yall its been a while since i blogged ive been depressed as if the writing dosent already display that .But hey im here now.

                         Spectrum

Alone again, surprised not at all. So many feverish dark nightmares blown into my mind. Always left alone to sort out my problems continuing to live with the guilt of everyone's expectations. Where did they all go all the colors of the past now faded to black and white? Constantly having difficulty distinguishing the basics of what's left of color of my life. I yearn to see the light again, to dance among the many colors of happiness. I know its out there hiding behind some dark moon.  Alone again dying in my desire to see again.

Currently listening : Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We? By The Cranberries Release date: 20 April, 1993

12:52 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Not so happy v-day.JUST KIDDING IM IN LOVE.
Current mood: optimistic

Hey everyone this is something i wrote a looong valintine ago.

                            Valentine

A hopeless romantic trapped within the lace of paper heart he never received. The sun withers away into the melancholie magenta sky. Welcoming lonely stars into a vast night atmosphere. Sea breezes chilling me within leaving me with a familiar loneliness. Cradled in an ocean of dreamlike embraces just another valentine I never had. Only another night gazing through the eyes of a fantasy. Longing to experience a fraction of any loving reality. Thoughts re-shined in my gaze by the sweet taste of a candy heart the once read I love you.

Currently listening : Both Sides Now By Joni Mitchell Release date: 08 February, 2000

11:33 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Love is strange.
Current mood: awake
Category: Writing and Poetry

Hey everyone this poem is about a love triangle i was in one of the people passed and the other one i just grew apart from.

Love three times

At times it feels beyond love almost spiritual in a sense a vast combination of ingredients of unknown origins; meshed together uniting our souls in sanctuary. At times the shadows lay down welcoming a blanket of cold rain enveloping the happiness that brought smiles to our vacant faces. Sky and streets so dark we constantly loose grasp of each other in the twilight of this constant depression. Often times I display my hopes and dreams high upon the shelf beyond my reach. Constantly fighting to grow to the height of my desires.

Currently listening : Live in Paris By Diana Krall Release date: 01 October, 2002

10:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Intresting i suppose...
Current mood: artistic
Category: Writing and Poetry

Love blackens

Every heart does it, wishes, dreams, and dies for the longing of nothing but a word we still fabricate the meaning to. The child in us wants to exist forever within the womb of unfound security. Torn into pieces by our own creation we struggle to exist forming wombs of desire between lovers to cradle the pieces of our past separated lives. In our lives countless tears lay down the path of future creations

Currently listening : Afterglow By Sarah McLachlan Release date: 04 November, 2003

3:50 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

It's been a while. Since ive blogged.
Current mood: sad
Category: Writing and Poetry

Why exist

Who knew I would wake up today not wanting to be me anymore. Caste into a mold by the dark aquatic shadows of my past. Deafened by my misery. What did I become when I lost myself between the cracks of time? What I'm I here for what promises that I harbor could be so important to any one persons soul. When does the stream of my heart run clear from my past?

Currently listening : Little Earthquakes By Tori Amos Release date: 25 February, 1992

1:48 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Amuse me...
Current mood: anxious
Category: Writing and Poetry

This poem is about everything i want a boy to be when he touches me in my no no special spot.

                  Mind fuck

Sexual frustration oozing from every notable point. Orgasms of pure thought parading through the virgin sanctity's of my innocence. Taking all sexual products, devouring them in pure indulgence. Pour your desires into my soul filling and satisfying all my selfish needs. If only you had the tact to perform the fantasy's of my sexually charged body. I wait for a true orgasmic release. Can you take me there to the point where my temple of sex blooms into a state of continues release?

Currently listening : Speak for Yourself By Imogen Heap Release date: 01 November, 2005

12:29 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment