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Shayne Michael

Last Updated:
Oct 29, 2007

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Replica Watches
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

Thank God for that, now I can say my life is complete.



> From: cimuropikoz04@hotmail.com
> To: jbornhorst@hotmail.com
> CC:
> Subject: We have the best watch copies on the web
> Date: Sun, 4 May 2008 21:26:15 -0400
>
> We Stock the best watch copies on the Internet for the lowest prices
>
> www.clcokks.com
>
>

6:40 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Ways A Scientist Says We’re Through
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

Ways A Scientist Says We're Through

  1. There is no unified theory of you and I.
  2. What goes up must come down, whenever you walk into the room.
  3. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Let me tell you what that means, when you walk in the room.
  4. It seems the law of entropy suggests that our relationship would eventually decay into its least organized state: marriage.
  5. I don't need you to have a family when there is such a thing as a test tube child and I work in a lab.
  6. When I put on this white lab coat, do you get home sick by any chance?
  7. Sorry, but the minute you took off your pants I realize I'd have to become a molecular biologist to make this work.
  8. You do realize after all, there's no place for nanotechnology in bed?

It turns out this was a double blind experiment; neither of us knew we were dating until we had kids.

Turns out our relationship was just a placebo all along.

Shayne-Michael.COMedy Exclusives

Phrases Someone Who Is Big On Reusable Energy Sources Uses To Seduce A Girl

How To Scare Off Your Date While Playing Doctor

The Seven Phrases You Can't Say On MySpace

Bad Excuses For Getting Caught In A Love Triangle

Football Innuendos

Eight Things To Say To A Telemarketer

I can be seen each Fri @ the Coffee Haven on Fri @ 8:30
Each Sat @
Brandee's Coffee @ 3:00pm

I cohost my friend's weekly blog talk radio show
On Point For Love - Each Thu @ 9pm

11:02 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Skydiving Come On Lines
Category: Travel and Places

Skydiving Come On Lines

  1. Come on let me pull your rip cord baby.
  2. I'll open up for you like a reserve chute.
  3. Let's talk about a new landing target.
  4. What color is your parachute? Mine is pink.
  5. I'm ready for a friend to tug on my tandem line.
  6. My last lover died after I exceeded his terminal velocity in bed.
  7. Personally I like to stay in the arch position after the chute opens too.
  8. Whip out your wingsuit and fly me home.
  9. Who told you to fall out of formation boy?
  10. Even you can go down on a girl from 15,000 feet up.
  11. If you're not willing o freefall through my fallopian tubes, I'll need a new skydiving instructor right now.
  12. Jump suit; jump me suit, it's pretty much the same thing except one requires more hand-eye coordination if you intend to safely land back on Earth.

See why I told you that you should settle for a quickie if you're going to join the mile high club by jumping out of a plane?

Recent Shayne-Michael.COMedy Exclusives

Overheard At Starbucks

Ten Bad Things To Say On The Tonight Show

Bad Opening Lines If You're Dating A Claustrophobic

Twelve Comments To Make Your Landlord Nervous

Bad Things To Hear While Dating A Horror Fan

Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Lover And World Championship Poker Player

Things You Might Hear On A First Date With House M.D.

What Iron Man's Girlfriend Might Hear From His Girlfriend After A Bad Night Of Making Love

Bad Opening Lines At A Singles Mixer

How To Get Kicked Out Of Blockbuster Video

What Not To Say When Trying To Act Tough Around A Street Gang

5:48 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Dear God,
Category: MySpace

Dear God,

I know that I'm accepted because I have 3,582 MySpace friends. I know that's down from 5,000+ at the height of my popularity, but that's not the point. The point is, that you for answering my prayers for acceptance. You see, what always constituted acceptance to me was some Emo chick, who wants to talk to a 37-year-old about this band nobody's ever heard of outside of MySpace.

My second goal was a brain tumor, but as George Carlin says, "Can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

Now, I pity those who only have ten or even twenty four friends. True, my definition of a friend is probably a little lax, much like William Jefferson Clinton's definition of sex. My definition of course is anyone who accepts a friend request, from some wannabe comic they've never heard of before so that I can brag those people who are scrolling through the "All Friends" link will see my picture from seven years ago by the time they get to page three.

I know what you're thinking. A friend is someone you talk to. A friend is someone who gives you a shoulder to cry on. A friend is someone who will give you a ride to the airport when the Arco down the street tells you that biodeasil will work in any ordinary car and they really need to get rid of the grease. And the truth is, I've only been defriended for these type of requests fifteen percent of the time.

So what they don't know, is I am closer to these people than they think. Though I did have to change my top eight to a top four because my friends keep saying, "Screw MySpace," and opening a Facebook account. And one of those top four is General Zod, because I admire his arrogance and I think he's too strong willed to give up on a lost cause.

Now I know there are some people with 10,000 friends, even 100,000 or more. But truly those are the add whores. I'm somewhere in between so, I really demand serious attention. I don't have so few that you can argue nobody likes my comedy. Because you know at least eight of my 3000 friends have heard me perform. Some even heard me live. Though usually it was because they were going to the same open mic I intended to wow them at on a Friday night. But I also don't have 6,000 or more, which is only popular when you befriend a lot of strippers, teenagers and Emo kids who are making friends with adults so they can bleed out why they're so upset they didn't get into the same math class as Tina, and no matter how depressed they like to pretend they are, they're really not ready to slit their wrist.

Though some of the people who have to listen to their music would happily do it for them.

My point God, is thank you for giving me MySpace. With the thousands of hours I've spend hear, looking at light porn ads on a site that will ban you for discussing sex or bashing Rupert Murdoch, I feel I've truly grown inside. And I've connected on a deeper level with at least eight people on that list of 3,000. Some people will argue, you could have done that quicker by asking for their phone number in a singles bar. But those are the cynics, and the cynics will never see the light.

So as I wrap up this letter. I'd like to look forward to another year of friendship with people like ForBBIden [who shows us how to use Cap locks as if we were composing jazz] and my very first friend, Tom [Who originally had me thinking, how presumptuous to assume that I want to be his friend just because he built the site], but he's really grown on me since then. And for all those friends to come, MySpace is like the magical Land of Oz, a wonderful world of mystique and mystery, that makes just about as much sense.

6:31 PM - 8 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

The Rules Of Digg & Stumble On
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

The Rules Of Digg & Stumble On

  1. Don't Digg or Stumble Upon your own work
  2. Don't Digg or Stumble Upon a friends
  3. Don't trade Diggs or Stumbles with a friend
  4. Don't trade Diggs or Stumbles with a fan
  5. If a fan Diggs or Stumbles Upon your work don't reciprocate and Digg or Stumble Upon theirs
  6. Reciprocity might be the key to a healthy relationship but on the internet it's just plain wrong
  7. Promoting yourself means you're a promotion whore
  8. Promoting someone else means the same thing about them
  9. Unless it's someone that you don't know, in which case it's alright
  10. In case you're wondering, we're making these rules up as we go along.

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street, bitch?

11:02 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, April 19, 2008

The Great American Gas Boycott: Part Two
Category: Automotive

The Great American Gas Boycott: Part Two

Declaring Our Independence From Foreign & Domestic Oil

One of the reasons the original gas boycott was ineffective was it lasted only a single day. Gas prices dropped 30 cents that day. But we weren't organized in our plan of attack. This is a different kind of boycott that will not fade after a single day. This is a call to change our way of life. This is a call to arms and a call to war.

Moreover, everyone will be able to participate, even those that like to buy gas. Because unlike that failed boycott, this is about declaring our independence from foreign and domestic oil, once and for all.

Phase One – Boycotting Exxon

The first phase is a boycott. But this boycott does not target all gas stations. So which one should we go after? Originally I intended to flip a coin.  But instead, I figured it was better to target one with a purpose. So, which one? Let's go after the one that inspired the headlines, "Record profits recorded by oil companies," by choosing the single company that had the highest profits margins of all ime and screwed us over the worst.

A little research suggests of the four major oil companies, we should target Exxon Mobile for creating the largest profit margin of any company in US history. Exxon recorded a profit of 35 billion up nine percent from last year. Its revenue exceeds the GPN of all but about 25 industrialized countries. This is the second year that their profits have soared. And if you go back three years Exxon's profits are almost up fifty percent, while its commitment to R&D and alternate fuels has almost been cut in half.

I don't care if Congress doesn't see anything illegal. At the very least, I personally can vow never to buy another Exxon product ever again.

What will this do? It will send other oil companies. And while we can't inflict economic pain on every gas company in the US, we can inflict a hell of a lot of economic pain on one. Unlike the gas out of March 15th, 2004, we can all afford to boycott Exxon for a very long time. This is not a boycott intended to send this gas station into a new philosophy on life. This is a boycott to send it into bankruptcy. Don't worry. There will be plenty of other companies to take up the slack. We can't all say, "no more gas." Most of us have jobs. And nobody will drive to our house to pick us up and take us there. However, we could easily say, Exxon screwed us over the worst. So let's send a message to the other gas companies, screw us over like this and we will fight back.

And in doing so we're letting the company with the second biggest profit margin know that they're next.

Phase Two – Collateral Damage

You can't boycott every trip to Arco. You might actually have to buy gas, and traditionally Arco has always been the cheapest. However, we can easily boycott every corn dog, hamburger and unrelated product that they sell. Think of it this way, Gas companies would have to justify their profits by selling gas. Let's take the other variables out of the equation.

I know some 7-11s sell gas. Do you really need a Slurpee at that 7-11, if they do? Force those companies who sell both to pick and choose how they're going to cover the expense of doing business in your state. We can do a lot of collateral damage to the oil companies by boycotting every single thing in their inventory that is not related to gas.

You can also buy tires from tire companies, instead of Exxon. Avoid using car repair service stations housed in gas stations. Use smog check stations that aren't parts of gas stations either. There are literally a million things that you can not buy to bring big oil's profit margins down that have nothing to do with buying gas at all. And we can all boycott these things for a very long time.

Phase Three: Economize

I replaced all my incandescent light bulbs with florescent bulbs a while back. I was trying to save money, not the country. But the truth is the best way to attack the oil companies is to attack them on fronts they aren't expecting it from. It takes oil to turn the generators that create your electricity. So this begs the question, how can we make those generators turn a little less?

When I bought my apartment building I made sure we installed insulation. As a result unit B is the warmest unit all year, and it stays the coolest when the air is on. My tenants in A have insulated their water heater. You can do this and bring that electric or gas bill way down. Remember heat and cool air are two of the biggest expenses you'll have if you don't own a pool. Think how much the demand for oil would drop in a single day if everyone in the United States went out and simply bought insulation to put around their water heater over night.  If the demand for electricity dropped in everyone's home, all at the same time, I can almost guarantee you that the price of oil would be affected two.

Here are some other things you can do to bring down the price of electricity in your home.

·         Insulate the water pipes

·         Replace furnace filters

·         Insulate the ceiling and or the attic

·         Make sure the windows are sealed: caulking is not as complicated as you'd think

·         Use washers and dryers during the morning hours

·         Install an automatic thermostat to heat and cool according to your schedule

·         During summer months open the drapes to make use of the suns natural light

·         During winter close them to further insulate the house

·         Install compact florescent bulbs

·         Use fans to make the heat from heaters and air conditioners circulate throughout the house. You do this by putting the fan on reverse and positioning it away from the source of heat or cold. The fan then sucks the warm or cool air in that direction.

·         Look for the Energy Star seal

This list could go on forever. My point here is every time one person does one thing on this list, it's only partly about that person. If everyone in the US did the first three the reduction in energy demand would be dramatic. That would take a huge bite out of big oil's profit margin without attacking the oil companies at the pump. Because the demand for crude oil would come down, big oil's profit margin would come way down with it.

Phase Four: Attacking Politicians Who Refuse To Act

Are you considering voting for McCain? First, I'm not a liberal or a conservative. It really depends what issue we're talking about. I also grew up in Arizona, so I really want to like McCain. But the comment, we'll stay in Iraq 100 years if it takes that long, should scare anyone away. Since we invaded Iraq the price of Oil has risen from a little over a dollar a gallon to four. You don't think the Middle East is using our dependency on oil to manipulate us? I'm pretty sure they are. And any candidate who says this problem is beyond our control will never get my vote. "We can't do anything about this," simply should not be an acceptable answer.

I want Senators, Congressman and presidential candidates who will at the very least, audit big oil and ease my mind that they're not violating the Sherman Anti Trust law. Washington Attorney General Rob McKenna said on April 17th, that he didn't find any illegal activity regarding the price of oil from 2007 until 2008. Yet the Federal Government can find a reason to penalize Bill Gates more money than most of us will ever see in our life time because he packaged Windows with Internet Explorer. That invented a monopoly.

Internet Explorer is more popular because Netscape sucks. Sorry to inform any of you worthless politicians that are getting kickbacks from Netscape and AOL.

Let me propose a few laws that would ease my mind that any corruption is taking place in the decision making, out there in Washington D.C. First off, every Senator should have to publish how much money he receives from related entities during a vote that affects that entity. For instance, if you received most of your campaign contributions from Exxon, you should have to disclose that on CPAN during any vote that might affect Exxon, while that vote is taking place. A lot of corrupt congressman would lose their seats. If, on the other hand you're an appointed official, like an Attorney General, the same thing should be disclosed about the person who put you there.

Additionally there should be an equal tax break for every individual who installs any energy saving product and can produce a receipt, the amount of that deduction should be equal to the amount of the receipt. You want to make America energy conscious, give them the same incentives you would give them if they formed a dummy corporation and did the things you've been giving corporate america tax breaks for, for the last ten years. That probably would have stopped this problem from ever taking place.

There should also be a huge tax break for anyone who owns a car that gets more that 35 MPG should get an even bigger tax break on top of it, not just everyone who owns a hybrid car. In fact, institute even a minor break, and all the big oil companies will really start to feel our pain as the demand for their product fell further and further each and every April 15th.

Phase Five: Support Research And Development

On the way to work, I usually listen to Coast 103.5. I like adult contemporary more than the current R&B hits. Anyhow, the DJs are Mark and Kim. Mark recently traded his SUV in for a Prius. That didn't impress me as much as his reason for doing it. Mark traded in his SUV, but his reason had nothing to do with the gas mileage. He wanted his hard earned money to go to the automobile manufacturers that are trying to create more efficient cars.

Now before you buy a Prius, let me tell you the downside. It's harder to find parts. Their more expensive in the beginning. And because of the high voltage associated with the battery, there's a real danger of getting electrocuted in an accident.

However, think of Mark's point. With the price of gas: it averages out. And the oil companies are already electrocuting us, as it is. Very little has changed except that Mark sent his hard earned money to Detroit to help car manufactures work out some R & D related to alternative fuels and eletric cars. We should all be supporting some type of R & D when it comes to alternate fuels. We should be looking into trying solar. We should be inquiring about vegetable oil and asking questions about who killed the Hydrogen Car. Maybe one person couldn't make a huge difference, but if we all started asking these questions and sending a little of our hard earned cash in some manner to companies focused on R&D, guess where our money ultimately would not go.

That answer is Big Oil.

Phase Six: Increase Your MPG

Back when I became a landlord my dad got me a Ford Explorer. I'm twice cursed because it has four wheel drive. That also reduces your MPG to less than 20. However, because it was from my dad, after suffering a stroke and a heart attack; and from the guy who made sure I wasn't homeless after the contractor left me high and dry while teaching me to install drywall, refinish hardwood floors and build new kitchen cabinets from scratch, I'd feel like a traitor to turn it in, so I understand why not everyone can take this step yet.

But it should be in all our future plans. Our biggest decision and first question when it comes to our next new car should simply be, "What's the MPG." And no matter how the car salesman answers we should respond, "Can you do any better than that?"

If that was the first question that everyone asked, car manufacturers would have to deal with it very quickly and more seriously. I know some people say, "I don't want to drive a Prius." My Saturn SL1 got well over 35 MPG on the highway. The Prius gets about 55 mpg. Most hybrids don't do much better than a good Honda. My point is that if you look hard enough you can find something that fits your needs that will significantly reduce how often we fill up. If you want a place to start, go to this table. It was the best I could find for a simple MPG comparison. And top models start in the 78 MPG range.

Remember, not every car with the best MPG ratings is a hybrid. You can do very well for yourself and buy a traditional car.

Phase Seven: Collateral Boycotts

In case you don't understand how big business works, McDonalds was never about hamburgers. It's about building a huge food chain that buys up all the most expensive real estate in the world and sells it at a huge mark up a few years down the line. Right now, we should be boycotting everything that Exxon is trying to use our money to buy. To understand more about Exxon Mobile go here.

Weather you realize this or not, big oil has declared war on American Consumers. And it's time that we declared war back. That means it's not enough to Boycott Exxon. We need to boycott anything remotely related to big oil.

At the very least we should be familiar with all three brands of Exxon fuel. Exxon, Essos and Mobile. Any time you see that you're putting money back in the hands of the gas company that stuck it to you the worst. You can get a further breakdown of Exxon products here, at the company's own website. I looked really hard to find out what Exxon was doing with our money, outside of making gas. It seems, one thing high on the list is buying back its own stocks.  

I'm still trying to find out where the rest of our money went. A good portion of it probably went to buying out Washington; that's probably why I'm finding it so hard to trace. But since this blog is a work, in progress, come back soon and I promise I will have a list.

Phase Eight: Monitoring Our Progress

What everyone needs to understand is that a one day boycott can't change things. A complete overhaul in our way of life is the only thing that will stop this madness. And it will probably take at least the next four years of doing all these things before you see alternate energy start to seriously compete with big oil as they try to price themselves out of the market all together. You can't half-ass any war. That's why we're losing in Iraq. That's why we lost in Vietnam. You have to make a commitment. This is what I believe in, and this is what I intend to stand up for it until the end.

Now these are things we can change. We can monitor the average MPG of cars, as the averages increase year by year. We can watch as Southern California Edison never declares another rolling blackout because Los Angeles became too energy efficient over night. We can publish the names of Attorney Generals who say if we think anyone's fixing prices they must be out of their mind. We can publish the names of the idiot that appointed them to that office and how much big oil is responsible for putting them there. And we can also live the following eight steps to try to bring us back to a point where it wasn't more expensive to fill up our tank than to buy a new car.

In the end if we

1.       Target one company: specifically Exxon for the reasons I already said

2.       Boycott everything at gas stations that are not gas

3.       Make our homes as energy efficient as possible

4.       Vote out any politician that refuses to admit that something must be done

5.       Support research & development

6.       Increase our MPG the very next time we purchase a car

7.       Boycott everywhere that Exxon tries to put their money

8.       And monitor how these actions change the price of crude and gas on a daily basis

You will see a change. It will not be over night. But it will happen. And we'll all be better off in the end. Unless of course you're an Exxon employee, if that's the case, I would highly suggest looking for another job.

11:35 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, April 05, 2008

My Apartment Is Now 100% Occupied
Category: Life

MySpace Exclusive

Hears how to scare off your landlord. Now if any of my readers ever find themselves renting from me, please don’t do these to me.

How To Scare The Crap Out Of Your Landlord

* Ask if you’ll have to pay extra for the drug tunnel under your living room floor.
* Inquire if there’s a bigger pet deposit for wild animals than there is for the domesticated sort.
* Ask to borrow a chain saw and some nails.
* When he asks what you’re doing say, "Remodeling fool!"
* Explain that you can’t pay the rent because one of the voices in your head says that it’s opposite day and it’s not really due and the other says it is. Right now, you’re still trying to sort out who’s telling the truth.
* Ask if you can host a cock fight in your place.
* Inquire what kind of wall paper would best match your plaid dress.
* Rent some scafolding and ask where you can get the permits to add on another room.
* While talking about the weather work in the phrase, "It wasn’t a flay screen TV until after the ceiling fell."
* Tell him you have a disturbing story to share about the oven and the Avon sales lady that you mistook for a witch.
* Rezone the property as a halfway house for ex cons.
* When he aks why reply, "My family needs somewhere to stay when they get out."
* Tell him that property damage is the only thing that turns your girlfriend on.
* Ask what’s better to fix a wall stud, Elmers glue or Scotch Tape.
* Tell him that you think it’s time for your boyfriend to come out of the closet but it might not be possible if he kicked the bucket when you hid him there after your husband made parole.
* Ask if he knows anything about the affair you wife is having with the voices in your head. No matter how he answers reply, "They told me you’d say that." Ask him if it’s possible to wear a straight jacket and work a power saw.

It really hurts your self esteme when you have an affair with the teacher and then she lowers your grade.

 

10:36 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Friday, March 28, 2008

Some Things You Should No Of MySpace Of Late
Category: MySpace

I get an increasing sense that MySpace is turning into Big Brother here. For those of you who don’t know how the site angered me the first time, I was banned from groups and forums. Nobody at MySpace has ever been kind enough to tell me why, after about twenty request. Last night when I clicked on the forum link, I know I can’t post there but sometimes I like to read them. Anyhow, when I clicked on the link I saw this:

I was redirected here:

http://forums.myspace.com/Banned.aspx

Cut to an obnoxious picture of a club bouncer holding up his hands in a "you’re not welcome here any more." Here’s the kicker, I can read the forums when I’m logged out. I can’t when I’m logged in. They had already banned me from posting, so the only reason to redirect me to this page was to rub my nose in it.

Keep in mind. Early on in MySpace I did use the forums and the groups to promote my blog. But it was always in categories like writing or groups for bloggers. I’m one of the few bloggers who never sent a single subscribe request to anyone. Anyone who subscribed, found me.

I was kind of worried when they made me reset my password a few months ago. I clicked a link in an email and they said I’d been phisched. Actually I only replied, because it seemed like a girl complimenting me. And I was having a bad day. The next thing I know I’m warned the message didn’t make it through the spam filter and I was phished. And if I didn’t reset my password, the account would be immediately closed. 

How pathetic is the secuirty here if you can just reply to someone’s email and then they have your user name in password?

I had an email discussion with a good friend from MySpace. This is someone that I would trust with personal intimate details of my life, if I needed a friend. During that exchange I noticed that whenever you type any url "www[dot]shayne-michael[dot]com" it turns into  "www[dot][space]shayne-michael[space][dot]com" This prevents anyone from putting the URL in the address bar. This happens whenever you include a URL in the text of an email, without making it a link. This isn’t something they’d told anyone about.

Now, I know what they’re going to say. It’s to make MySpace safer. But considering who gets banned and who doesn’t, I start to doubt that. I think they slowly want to keep your from going anywhere else. Ironically, these arbitrary rules prompted me to delete every back blog last nigh and save it to my hard drive. All that content will still be available on http://www.shayne-michael.com, but I wonder how long before that links brings me to this page:

http://www.myspace.com/Error404msp.aspx

Why do I say that? Because a link in a private email from someone I trust redirected to that page. I know this person does not spam. I know this person does not phish. What does this tell me?

MySpace is becoming increasingly more the Big Brother of the net.

8:29 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Degredation Of American Art
Category: Writing and Poetry

Signs Of The Degredation Of American Art

  1. MySpace
  2. The Geico caveman got his own sitcom.
  3. Adrianne Curry is considering writing a book.
  4. There are people in the "red" states wondering what book George Bush would recommend.
  5. Britney Spears Greatest Hits has more than two songs.
  6. The brilliant show House has turned into a medical student version of Survivor.
  7. Hells Kitchen has spawned a spin off.
  8. There’s a dance version of American Idol that has lasted more than a year.
  9. The best way to get a film idea produced is to pitch it from a video game.
  10. If Kiefer Sutherland hadn’t plead guilty and FOX had to put of the next season of 24, their ratings may have dropped lower than the WB.
  11. The WB.
  12. Kramer got a sitcom, even before we knew this was a bad idea.
  13. Balls of Furry, Woodcock and the general trend of "when you don’t have a story make it cheap and put a synonym for penis in the title."
  14. Stand-up comedy specials from people who have never done stand-up before in their life. It’s a skill. Practice it before you tape yourself in front of a live studio audience and embarass us all.
  15. The fact that 50% of the movies in IMDB’s bottom 250 make enough money to be considered hits and some even show up in the box office top ten.
  16. Charter cable.
  17. The popularity of porn. Guess what if there was something good on, people would watch that and masturbate less. Just a theory. I ran it by NASA, but they haven’t gotten back to me on the validity of my underlying premise.
  18. Mr. Ed isn’t even close to the worst show premise I’ve seen in the last few years. The Mullets, That 80s Show, Dancing With The Sars, Kid Nation, CSI [What City Haven’t We Featured Yet?]
  19. Will Ross and Rachel actually kept a show at number one. Either way, big freakin’ deal.
  20. Night at the Museum is already one of the highest grossing films of all time.
  21. We need to constantly copy the Japanese to make a horror film that doesn’t involve a serial killer and a knife.
  22. Good day LA has more actors, production value and special effects than any Hollywood film, because without an explosion and a girl in a short skirt nobody listens anymore.

Clearly Hollywood’s Golden Age has rusted over to a rusty brown.

7:47 PM - 11 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Coming Next Fall To Reality TV

Coming Next Fall To Reality TV

 

  1. American Idol: Wyoming
  2. SARS Search
  3. Date My Mom's Gynecologist
  4. Extreme Make Over: Trailer Edition
  5. Worlds Wildest Midget Accountant Videos
  6. Elimidates & Ammo
  7. What She Doesn't Know Is That The Bachelor Likes Men
  8. Who Wants To Marry An Undiscovered Open Mic'r

(c) 2007: This comedy blog was written by the Quiet Comic: SUBSCRIBE
ID#: 114
/07

 

Look Mr Kringle, we can't give you unemployment or Social Security when the truth is, you were never really getting paid. Now if you were, fill out this form and I'll have someone from the IRS contact you immediately about back taxes.

 

Official Site: Shayne-Michael.COMedy: Features original humor dating back to 1989 and resources for comedians. See this blog with the deleted jokes: Here.

 

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