I'm reposting this blog from Peggie Hoskins. Sophia Langford is the inspiration for our project: The Hopeful Princess CD...a read-along story about children who fight the bad dragon of cancer (available at www.indiemusicforlife.org
SOPHIA WILL BE GAINING HER ANGEL WINGS
I have found out today that we are going to lose our dear sweet little baby girl Sophia. She has fought a long 2 yr battle with brain cancer. She has dealt with more at age 2 than most of use will deal with in a lifetime. She is the strongest and bravest little girl I know. I am blinded by tears as I type this. I am lost. I don't know what to say. I am lost. I was hoping and praying for a miracle. Making daily wishes for mercy upon this child. I am devasted.
Sophia is the daughter of my long time friend and musician Wayne Langford. I can not even fathom what he & Shirley and the rest of the family must be feeling at this moment. Please pray for all of us for strength and for mercy as Sophia lives out the rest of her life. Please pray for her family as they face this devastation. I pray that God will have mercy and spare her as much pain as possible. She has been given several weeks/months to live at the most.
Thank you all who have followed Sophia's journey and have loved her. Thank you for your prayers and good wishes. On behalf of her family..... simply... THANK YOU. I believe we can all agree that our lives will never be the same without her and those of us who have been blessed to know her will be forever grateful for the time that we did have with her. Sophia we love you and will never forget you.
Just the other day I wrote a blog about how the retail industry bombards us MUCH too early with messages about the holiday season..."makin' a list, checkin' it twice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice...NAUGHTY?
SO WHAT ARE THE ODDS... That when I logged on to MySpace that I am greeted with a BIG BANNER AD that asks an odd question: What's in your NAUGHTY drawer? Hmmmm...good question! Let me go check.
A NAUGHTY DRAWER? Am I missing something? I have a JUNK drawer with random items, some of which I suppose could be used for naughty purposes; for example, the Sharpie markers. I wouldn't get a tattoo but have considered temporary body art...
Sorry, I digress. So the banner ad depicts a cartoon couple in bed. The man is reading a newspaper. Hello! Reading the sports section to a woman does NOT qualify as "foreplay". Now if he rolls it up, swats her with it and says "bad doggie"...THAT'S naughty!
The woman is reading a book. Maybe a naughty romance novel...with vividly described, lustful scenes of grabbing, throbbing and moaning...OOH OOH...HAHAHA...that that we all KNOW do NOT happen in real life. THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED 'FICTION'!!!
I'm missing the link between the cartoon and this offer:
Win a trip for you and a friend to "Hedonism II". What the hell is that? An all-inclusive resort? A store where they sell kinky sex toys? OOH, I feel so naughty. I'm tempted to "click to play" but can't imagine what this would involve...probably something like those goofy MySpace applications like "buy me as a pet"...
OOOH, BUT IF YOU SWAT ME WITH A NEWSPAPER I MIGHT KINDA LIKE IT!!!
Just took a road trip to the North GA mountains. WHOO HOO! Okay, so we need to adapt this video slightly. Mild-mannered, middle-aged mom...mid-sized SUV...
BUT THE SUNROOF AND WINDOWS WERE OPEN AND THE WIND WAS BLOWING MY HAIR! And this song was blasting ...yeah baby...REALLY LOUD!!!
’TIS THE SEASON
Current mood: Festive
Category: Festive Life
It's that time of year again...cooler temperatures, leaves on the trees changing to brilliant colors...retailers displaying CHRISTMAS MERCHANDISE...
Which means if you're trying to find anything for Halloween (which isn't until the end of this month), ho ho ho too bad! No, you'd better start making your list and checking it twice. So I sat down with paper and pen, a glass of whiskey, and reflected on the past year of my life...gonna find out whose naughty or nice...
As I continued humming a holiday tune, I started writing my sentiments as a SONG! 2008 had its ups and and downs, proportionately more "downs". Notice I didn't say "the blues" because there's a difference between a style that speaks more of general mailaise and...say...country western...where specific details can result in some powerful music!
Every year we get bombarded with those "nice" holiday newsletters...that make you get that nasty throw-up taste in your mouth. You know the ones: from The Perfect Family. The husband's gotten a promotion AND drives a spiffy new sports car. The wife spends all her waking hours volunteering or perhaps has started her own successful business. The kids are honor roll students, the captain of their sports team, blah blah blah...BARF!!!
Last year I was overflowing with holiday spirit. In addition to trying to make a gingerbread house (that looked like FEMA needed to assess damages), I wanted to create a "naughty" newsletter and fill the page with what a REAL family might experience. Hubby's banging his secretary while wifey-poo drinks too much and tries to seduce the tennis pro. On her NON luxury sports utility vehicle is a bumper sticker bragging about her kid...who's on Detention Roll...get the picture?
So I'll sign off because I am inspired to write some lyrics. But first I have to go buy some Christmas cards...and try to find a Halloween costume!
Not long ago I posted a blog about some website where women can shop for "wealthy men". How a 29 year old can make $400,000 a year is still a mystery... So what if you're NOT a material girl and believe that the bulge in a guy's wallet is NOT the most important attribute?
GOOD NEWS! According to this other link, there are a lot of available men who happen to live NEARBY (an optimal situation if you want to engage in more than mere cybersex): SHOP4GUYS.COM.
WOW! I wish THIS technology had been available in my dating days because it would have saved me a lot of trips to the singles bars, having to endure the tortures of having guys buy me drinks, tell me I'm pretty, dancing until my feet ached then much like Cinderella bolting out the door before they could get my phone number!
So we've reduced dating to perusing through the pages of a catalog? Much like I used to do as a child at Christmas with the Sears "Wishbook" (which by the way I never got an Easy Bake Oven...which is to blame for the fact I'm not such a great cook).
Okay, and maybe I'm old-fashioned but wouldn't you think if you were going to advertise yourself you'd want to make a good first impression? Maybe THIS is why these guys can't get dates in the "real world"...
First, dude PUT A DAMN SHIRT ON UNLESS YOU'VE GOT A REALLY SEXY CHEST. I don't want to see you naked until at least the 3rd date.
Next, don't you have a drunk buddy who can take your picture? This "self portrait with digital camera" deal maybe works for women, who know all they have to to is aim and shoot at their cleaveage. But GUYS...you might be aware of camera angle, like if you point it upwards the ladies will get a tour of your nostrils, and if they're hairy (unlike your chest) chicks will NOT contact you.
Ditto for the "photo of self in reflection of bathroom mirror" pose, which if you're using flash did you think there might be a funky image of what appears to be a UFO hovering around your hairy nostrils and man boobies?
But what's even MORE ghoulish is the guys who want to zoom in on their 6-pack abs...so is your face homely or DID ALIENS FROM THE UFO DECAPITATE YOU?
The retro photo below reinforces my premise for this new cooking show concept. I post here the script for the first episode. This, my culinary compadres, is reality TV! Yeah, like the Food Network would buy into it...so maybe we'll start small with local cable access and work our way up...okay FINE so maybe Atlanta Domestic Living will get its humble beginnings on YouTube...
INT - A kitchen setting. On a table are the following ingredients: flour tortillas, a small bowl and a large bowl, a can of sauce, a blender and two frosty glasses. A sign is overhead that reads: Cobb Cable Access. Marcie is standing behind the cooking prep area and speaks with a Southern accent. Both women are dressed very "Talbotts"/suburban.
MARCIE:
Good evening, and welcome to Atlanta Domestic Living. I'm Marcie, and tonight we're going to give you some South of the Border tips to spice up your meals. And here's my co-host, Michele, who has been tending to the most important part of the show. Are the margaritas ready yet honey?
Michele enters set with a frozen margarita (jumbo glass). She is slightly tipsy.
MICHELE:
Hola, amigas! Me llamo Michele. Por la cena, preparamos los enchiladas de carne.
MARCIE:
In English, por favor.
MICHELE:
Oops, you said South of the Border...anyways, if you're like the rest of us, it's late afternoon and you're standing there with a pound of ground beef asking "what the hell am I going to make for dinner?"
MARCIE:
I've been there. Sometimes I get so depressed I want to beat myself about the head with a meat tenderizer.
MICHELE:
Hey ladies, do you ever fantasize about that hunky Old El Paso dude barging into your kitchen with his spiffy taco kit? He's got a really cute butt.
MARCIE:
I guess if he ever did show up, I doubt the whole family would spontaneously break into song and dance like they do in that lil' old commercial.
MICHELE:
Not unless he'd been kind enough to bring us a margarita!
Michele refills margarita glass from blender.
MARCIE:
Let's get started with tonight's easy to prepare entree, sour cream enchiladas. Here are the ingredients we'll use: One pound of ground beef, one can of enchilada sauce, 2 cups of shredded cheese...
MICHELE:
Hey, that's my cheese.
MARCIE:
What? I think I bought all the ingredients for the show.
MICHELE:
Nope, it's "Na-tcho" cheese!
MARCIE:
Okay, it's your cheese. Next, you'll need a dozen flour tortillas.
Michele is pointing to ingredients Vanna White style as Marcie lists them. Holds up two flour tortillas in front of chest.
MICHELE:
Oh neat, look what you can do with these things. I made a bathing suit top!
MARCIE:
How creative! And finally, you'll need a pint of sour cream.
MICHELE:
Houston, I think we have a problem...
MARCIE:
What's that?
MICHELE:
I've seen blue taco chips, but I don't think our final ingredient should be growing this fuzzy stuff.
MARCIE:
Oh dear, that's nas-tee! I think we need a plan B.
MICHELE:
Yeah, let's refill the margaritas.
Michele refills margarita glasses.
MARCIE:
You should always check your ingredients for freshness. But even the best chefs have a back-up plan.
MICHELE:
Hey, I bet that Emeril never had to deal with moldy sour cream, did he, Mr. "I've got a profitable chain of restaurants"! Bam (slams hand on counter), someone should go kick him up a notch.
MARCIE:
It looks like we're out of time. Please join us next week, when we'll share more Atlanta Domestic Living ideas.
MICHELE:
Hey ladies, did you know you can make your own edible underwear with fruit roll-ups and licorice whips?
Currently
listening
:
South of the Border
By
Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass
Release date: 2005-02-08
New Cooking Show Concept!
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Food and Restaurants
I've written some blogs about 1950's moms. If I were one of them I'd be in the kitchen baking cookies, feeling completely satisfied by the fact that I'd just disinfected my toilet bowls while wearing a spiffy housedress and pearls.
Thanks to additional unexplained situations in the sitcom known as MY LIFE, I continue to allow these "WTF?" moments to inspire me, giving the already sarcastic edge to my comedy a SHARPER blade.
And thus the idea for a cooking show where the host/hostess is NOT some cheerful sap who uses ingredients not found in grocery stores (much less on this continent) who always creates a masterpiece meal.
NOOOOOOOOOO...this hostess would be kinda PISSED OFF and take her hostilities out on random kitchen utensils and food items:
Bulletins & Comments: I am not amused...
Current mood: irritated
Category: MySpace
Well thankfully I'm not so popular, so at least I can keep up with my "fan" mail, but it's become almost impossible to sift through the plethora of bulletins to find any news that might be IMPORTANT, like someone else wants to buy me as their pet or have me join their mob.
No, I'm talking about the people whose middle name is "redundant" and repost the SAME FREAKING BULLETIN LIKE EVERY 2 MINUTES. HOLY NEWS FLASH BATMAN...I'm on page 20 and haven't even gotten through the last HOUR'S worth...please people, why don't you add a whimsical application and go play with a virtual pet or something!!!
And here's another news flash to "friends" who feel compelled to leave comments THEY think might be entertaining. Please consider that I am here for NETWORKING (and that does not involve any interest in any intimate activity or discussing any private body part of yours). There are plenty of bimbo sluts here who would adore your attention, so take it elsewhere.
Thank you for your time and attention. And now I will go repost this as a bulletin every 2 minutes. I look forward to your comments...
Love & laughs, Shelly
Currently
listening
:
Redundant
By
Green Day
Release date: 1998-05-26
Hot Hedgehogs in Love
Current mood: amorous
Category: Pets and Animals
I just uploaded a new audio comedy clip, Hot Hedgehogs in Love. It's another in a series of Seriously Weird! news stories that is a result of my watching too many episodes of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, or perhaps the fact I have a naughty mind.
I invite you to experience my other animal-themed comedies (Monkeying Around, Rhino Love, Manatee Lust and Pollinate Me Baby) at www.reverbnation.com/shellyryan (or simply click my widget on my profile).
When I read yet another story about a natural activity in the animal kingdom and people personifying said activity...it made me think of a song released by Captain & Tennille in 1976...my junior year of high school...a time of teenage hormones and "muskrat love"...
And for you music trivia lovers: "Muskrat Love" is a 1972 song by Willis Alan Ramsey. It originally appeared on his album Willis Alan Ramsey under the title "Muskrat Candlelight." It is literally a song about muskrats in love.
A parody of the song called "Hamster Love" was written and performed by a group called Big Daddy and included on Dr. Demento's 30th Anniversary album.
WELL HOLD ONTO YOUR GARDEN TOOLS because now that we know what muskrats courting REALLY sound like...and we know what my mind is capable of producing...get ready for a NEW parody based on the lyrics below...
Another HUGE thanks to Ang of RadioNC for having me on her show last night. The interview was a blast because she's a fun and energetic hostess! The chat room was ROCKIN'!
My MySpace motto, since Day One has been "If You Obey All The Rules You Miss All The Fun." Okay, so I'm not the kinkiest person in this virtual world of networking, but with recent popular audio comedies that prompted me to invite fans to "hit up my panties"...
And today you got me REALLY excited. Your response to my hot comedy love on ReverbNation moved me up one more postion (finally surpassing the sword swallower...one of life's mysteries as to what's so funny about his act) on my way to the TOP!!!
My widget is on my home page. It's all yours! Or go to www.reverbnation.com/shellyryan. Listen, download, become a fan, share it...do whatever you want, but PLEASE, don't obey TOO many rules!!!
Currently
listening
:
I'm So Excited
By
The Pointer Sisters
Release date: 2005-04-26
sad
naughty
curious
pissed off
irritated
amorous
excited
