My " *uck-it " List

   I watched a very good movie the other night, called the Bucket List. It was about 10 things that a man would like to do before he kicks the bucket.
   Well I have made my own list the Celebrity " Fuck - it List" . This is a list of 10 movie stars that I think would be a good time in the sack. Well enough chit chat....on with the list.
 10 - Meg Ryan......Not now, but back when she was a sexy, cute, girl next door kinda star. Now she looks like a Crack Whore. Do I get an AMEN !!!



9- Tara Reid ......She makes my Daddy Buttons feel all funny. There is a scene in Van Wilder where she is wearing a skimpy outfit and tells Van that she isn't wearing underwear........aaaaaahhhhhhh nuff said





8 - Ann Margaret.......A Hot  red head that gets hotter with age. At least now, if I cock her legs back, with her arthritis ....her legs would stay cocked back. Speaking of legs....she had and has a pair (licking lips).





7 - Diane Keaton......... Here is another older woman, who I think is sexier now than when she was younger. Maybe I've got a mental condition but I would love to wear her ass as a hat...hee hee




6-  Jennifer Tilly.......Sexy, plays in Horror Movies and likes to play poker. What the hell else is there !!!! Those legs.....Those lips..... Those love pillows. Ow Lord I think I'm gonna pass out......





5 - Sheri Moon Zombie.....Speaking of hot bodies and horror movies, this lovely lady is hot, nasty and I....I.....I need a cold shower. Daddy Likey





4 - Lucy Lui .....Aaaahhhhh  Asian. That's all I have tosay about that .





3 -  Elizabeth Shue...... I have always had the hots for her. She can play a sweet young thing and then play a dirty lil' whore.....I like the latter. She also reminds me of a woman I had sex with for about 20 years. I would love to kiss her pink parts, both of them.  hee hee





2  -  Angelina Jolie.......This tasty morsel has men wanting her and women wanting to be lesbians. I consider myself a lesbian. Those puffy lips, bedroom eyes, long legs and upside down heart shaped ass..... I HATE BRAD PITT !!!!! fucker





   And now for my Number One....Numero Uno pick .....oooohhhhh this is so exciting
1  -   Maureen O'Hara .......  I watch JohnWayne movies and see her with her bright red lips and the reddest hair I've ever seen and .....well......I want to devour her. She is so edible. She is (to me) the sexiest actress the silver screen has ever seen. I salute you every morning Maureen. God Bless you.....I love this spanking scene in McKlintock aaahhhhhhh





Here are some honorable mentions......Now tell me who you are hot for in the movies. Later I may make a *uck-it list for MySpace people. Let me know if that would be a good idea or not.......Gotta go, need another glass of hooch.

6:54 AM - 16 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

What do you say ????

  I got a hell of a nice surprise the other day, when I answered my ringing phone. It was from a friend of the wife and mine, who I had never talked to before. I tell ya, If I ever hear the voice of an angel, on the way to leavin this shitty world, I reckin' it would sound like the voice on the other end of the line. You see, she is from another land far far away and has the coolest accent I've ever hear. But when we were talkin', sometimes she would repeat what I said and I think, get the wrong meaning. So I thought I would give you folks and her a few vocabulary words and sayings.

    Ya see I grew up around the Oil Fields in Ohio. While working on a Service Rig, as a young shit, I listened to all of the old timers and I guess being around my Father, who made hole and pulled tubin' and rods for 50 years, I guess I say some things that someone from another part of the world would question, just what the hell I had said. Plus being around some of my old buddies the sayings just stuck, ya know guy stuff. Here's a lil 101 on Rodisms.

Ain't no son-of-a-bitch for it ......I real don't care for it, but thank you.

Let's go throw some lead......let's take the gun out and target practice.

Get your smoke pole........use the muzzleloader

I Fluffed her ....... I shot a doe

I Stuck her........I used my arrow to harvest this majestic animal. No nothing sexual.

Pop a Squat......Have a seat

Pop a cork and jaw a little......Crack the seal on some Makers Mark and have a talk.

A sweet bottle.......Very fine refreshing bourbon

Layin' around and mildewin'.......takin' it easy (has nothing to do with sex or stinking)

The workshop .....Bedroom

The workbench......Bed (has everthing to do with sex)

Have a Hooch..... Have a drink

God Damn it ta Hell......by the way

Use the turlit.........Shit

Ya wanna........Would you kindly remove your clothes and rest upon my manhood.

I Stuck her........Ya wanna

Burn one.....Smoke a cigarette. No not a joint. I don't smoke pot, it puts me to sleep ( unlike my passengers, who were kicking and screaming)

Bein' a good Bitch.......Honey I did the laundry, now what do you want for supper?

   Anyway, there are just a few words and sayings, that I have uttered in this life I live. Did you notice I didn't put anything sexual in there, well sorta kinda.......At not time did I mention the Log Splitter or the Double Drill Press or playin' a game of Hide the Swan. At no time did I mention, Pinchin' the Helmet or knuckle lovin' or grabbin' her by the piss flaps and strappin' her on like an old sea boot. No I did not and will not utter those phrases. 

   Now you have heard mine ....... Let me hear yours

   Have A gooddun'

   Olive Juice Shrew

2:47 PM - 48 Comments - 32 Kudos - Add Comment