..said Popeye...
Current mood: betrayed

"I am what I am and that's all that I am...

I'm Popeye the sailor man."

...what if one day he wasn't anymore?

Because he woke up one day thinking it would be really nice to be a used car salesman.

...Seriously.

Would you still love me if I wasn't a Mormon?

...let's go with "she's just going through a phase."

You'll sleep better that way.

...following my peace is all I promised to do.

It's led me here...

i.den.ti.ty ( :ahy-den-ti-tee: )

1. the state or fact of remaining the same ones, as under varying aspects or conditions:

2. condition of being oneself or itself, and not another

3. the sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time.

...or the lack thereof

9:56 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

the long haul!

I've been doing lots of thinking lately.. and I've been up for 24 hours now.

*why are people so random?

*I am so frustrated with a couple of people I know right now I wish I could have a second to say everything. no holds barred. but to no avail. Let sleeping dogs lie.

I feel like I am two steps behind understanding what is going on around me sometimes. godamnit.

love you my myspace,

ciao,

SIENNA

2:23 AM - 3 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Good for yer heart like cheerios foo!
Current mood: intense

Seriously stoked on life this morning.

I just had the most fantastic breakfast meeting with the car dealership I work with.  Pretty much every manager in the company loved the marketing scheme I presented!! I now get to design shirts, license plate frames, key chains and all kinds of fun little do-dads!! Not only that but I now get to find fancy spokes models and events to hook it up at! Look for my guerilla marketing antics at the UCE fights etc. in months to come.

Fun, Real, Authentic,

Ciao,

Siena

9:31 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

salt n peppa never had it so good!

I'm just unwinding from a long day and thinking .. really really thinking about today and now that I think about it.. damn. I am so lucky to have the unbelievable friends I do. I am surrounded by the most awesome ladies imaginable  Things have been hard lately. Very hard. Life has thrown me some severe learning experiences. I've been dealing with the everything like a champ thanks to those lovely ladies in my life who lift my stresses with just that perfectly timed phone call, text or visit EVERY SINGLE TIME.                         I effing love it!!!

amigas of mine. you are loved. just know that.

Ciao,

me.

10:46 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

BAGGAGE!!!

This is officially no longer a phenomenon of the female gender only.. I have now officially come to the conclusion that boys have their fare share as well! I now have two examples of some of the obnoxious baggage I have come across... What is to be done people? Must we all damage one another? I believe there is a more productive solution.. lets sit down and talk about it eh?

Example A: You could have the guy who got out of a relationship with a fairly neglectful, made no effort at all, partner who now only feels comfortable and confident in a relationship where he feels he is doing all the work or else.. he gets freaked. Therefore, I am not able to be my normal, giving, go out of my way to make someone happy self because that comes across to the guy as "holy shit.. this girl wants to marry me" .. PUHLLEEAASE!

Case Point B: ... you can have the boy who got out of a very long relationship with a very untrustworthy lady and is now so very unwilling to trust a new partner to the point of nearly sabotaging the relationship at every opportunity.. out of fear of a broken heart once again. Talk about becoming the victim of your fear... ouch...

In short, dating is stupid. People have baggage. I have baggage. and so do you.

Ciao,

Siena

11:21 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

A beautiful awakening...
Current mood: calm

I had the migraine headache from hell today... My headaches are only triggered by emotional, mental stresses. It's odd.

I spent the morning reflecting as to what could be giving me enough anxiety to be deserving of nearly splitting my mind open over it... and I realized I have some areas I could use some real growing in.

-point one- Being more upfront with everyone I know. In order to become the type of person I am to be, my actions shall no longer take the back seat to my emotions for fear of being offensive or overly blunt. I've been a little too good at sugar-coating life for the people I am surrounded by.  Last Saturday, my lovely lady Ashes helped me confront someone I've been needing to tell my side of the story to for some time now.. it felt liberating beyond words.

-point two- My pops makes me angry.  You know what though? ...that's okay. I am becoming more aware of how that particular relationship manifests itself in my relationships with boys in general... and I am learning. I am learning to be more trusting, more open, more reliable and more FRIENDly.  Having guys for friends is new and really ultra super healthy for me right now.  I am the last person in the world to need another love interest.  So to all the boys who have recently signed the "I'm okay being Siena's friend" list in the past little while... Big HUGE thank you's, loves and cookies are heading your way.

-point three- One of my very very best friends.. Mike Kunde is leaving to Kenya for his third time tomorrow morning.. He volunteers at a deaf school in a pretty small village for weeks at a time.. I can't even express how this makes me feel.  How would it be to go to sleep at night knowing that in a far corner, on the other SIDE OF THE EARTH people are remembering you, and anxiously awaiting your return for you bring enormous amounts of love, hope, generousity and  caring their direction.  So beautiful. A part of me wants to do that sort of service now. I'm a makeup artist for crying out loud! Makeup artistry is completely haha.. cosmetic. Just a topical treatment to make you look... however you wish to. Their are people in the world who don't even know what makeup is!! They deal with what they have in life... with a happy smile on their face and in their hearts.  A picture of a little girl comes to mind, sitting on the side of the road in some other third world country, eating newspaper to fill her stomach and keep her from severe hunger pains she looked as happy as can be because she doesn't know any different. Last time Mike was over there he came back with next to nothing because he couldn't help but give everything he could to the people of Kenya.. I get choked up thinking about it because well... I would love to know that I've made that sort of a difference to someone.

BACK TO THE PART ABOUT MY HEADACHE... After reflecting on my feelings on the situation 1. and after having a really great venting moment with my mother about how angry I felt about point 2 and helping my friend Mike pack for and talk about  point 3 has made my day a million times better than it started and these things along with a visit to the chiropractor with my little sister and a blue coconut cream slush from Sonic made the mind splitting migraine from hell peace out..which rocks.

As my friend Thomas likes to say at the end of his posts...

Good Evening Myspace,

Ciao,

Siena

11:20 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

What the hell is THIS WEBSITE?!?!

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

... and how did it capture my attention for a whole ten minutes?!?! haha!

love,

Siena

10:39 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Adventure to the WEST SIDE laundromat...

Not doing laundry is a very bad thing and the least economical option is to just buy new clothes instead of cleaning the old ones.. but that's just how I do things sometimes haha! Thanks Tom, for making that point nice and clear for me :)

Anyway... I have to say that spending time in a 24 hr., self service, quarters only laundromat on the west side was the sweetest night I've had in a bit!! My little sister and I packed my car full of clothes and headed off for our laundry adventure around 9:30 and didn't get home till 2 am-ish... geez.

Since I had just come from work at MAC I'm sure I couldn't have looked more out of place with my bright green eyeshadow, hot pink lips and false lashes standing next to a couple of homeless men with fishing poles and bags of moth eaten, dirty laundry. Random. haha Out of the many, MANY washers of all shapes and sizes they had at the laundromat I kept choosing the messed up, broken ones to shove my laundry into, put the detergent into and then attempt to put coins in to pay for... only to realize that there were other coins jammed in the effing  slot or a giant freakin' screw put in it to let people know it is a well, broken machine. What a mess. I'm awesome.

Every TV had the channel set on some type of spanish speaking MTV station.. with the volume ALL THE WAY UP!  a little overwhelming when combined with the noise of all the washers and dryers... ha ha the best part was  the spanish guys unknowingly singing along while watching their laundry spin round and round in some sort of a daze..

Pretty much..... Beto's + Shout detergent = 24 hr Laundromat. thanks.

1:43 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

It's Mountaineer Monday Bitches!!! haha

There is nothing and I mean NOTHING better than hauling your ass up and down a mountain at the crack of dawn... especially when at the top there is the most beautiful waterfall/river situation to sit next to and ponder life/meditate. :)

What a beautiful morning! No really! Today is going to be fantastic. Last night I had the opportunity to let go of a whole load of emotional baggage in a certain relationship, cried my eyes out and now I feel like I'm walking on air. I practically ran up the trail today!haha! I think I have found my niche, my therapy. It's beautiful and almost as impactfull as getting accupuncture or a week full of massage.

I have come to a few very interesting realizations about myself lately and I'm realizing that everything is most definitely okay. My personal, spritual and love life are all okay or are going to be. I didn't make it to the Zen center as planned on Sunday as it was Fathers Day :) but I think nothing could end such a perfectly started week as paying a visit next Sunday. If you want to be my guest. Come with me.

Ciao,

Siena C. W.

Currently listening : Pieces of the People We Love By The Rapture Release date: 12 September, 2006

9:08 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

No sleep tonight for within hours, I shall be in CALI !!
Current mood: tired
Category: Travel and Places

I ought to be placed in a serious record book for the amazing ability I have of procrastinating every possible thing till the last minute.

There must be something about packing up to leave town that just rubs me the wrong way because it's the very last thing I get around to doing before I have to be actually walking out the door.

WOW I'm awesome. ... maybe I will get some sleep (a nap of sorts) since I've got to be up at the crack on dawn for more packing and a pedicure with my mom and sisters! We are a pretty fantastic bunch if I do say!

Tanto Amore!

Ciao,

Siena

Currently listening : Alright, Still By Lily Allen Release date: 30 January, 2007

1:02 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment